Fail Forward

[lofivelcro]

@NancyTree oh, I can understand your aunt. Somehow, you just carry a part of your home with you. I would love to keep my passport, I always renewed it whenever it was due, but if I want to get naturalised here, I have to give it up. Theoretically I could go back home and just become a citizen again over there and keep the new passport, getting dual citizenship. But maybe at one point I just have to accept that I'll probably never really go back.
@Fremen you're right. I like it here, it feels like home, I have grown roots here. But I'm not as pragmatic when it comes to bureaucratic things like you
@Anek oooh, that's an interesting reason. That never was a problem in my case, mostly because I have to deal with the Swiss and they are usually very efficient and friendly. But they always ask when I will come back home. But can't you keep your Italian passport as a German citizen?

Today was Unbound 10 and a long trip with the bicycle. Still ignoring the Barbell. Tbh, I don't enjoy it as much as dumbbells, but I can't deny that it's very effective. Maybe I'll just take a break for a week or so. Until I'm done with the summer camp and all that bow making.

And now we're going to take the dogs and take a nice night walk. It's still hot outside, but it's better now.

 

[Gandhalfit]

I can't even discuss this

 

[Anek]

Yes, I now have both passports, but whenever I need anything I get it via the German one.

 

[lofivelcro]

@Gandhalfit I wonder about your words. I have a few guesses, but I'm a bit hesitant to write them out. Is it because of the situation in your home country? From what I read, you seem very unsatisfied with how things are going.

@Anek profiting from German efficiency? Tbh, during my time in Germany I had mixed experiences with the authorities.

Today was Unbound 11 and a brief return to the dumbbells for comparison. Also, a run to the lake, followed by a swim. Again.

My other half is done with the manuscript for his book. For reasons I don't understand, he wants me to read the raw version without edits before he works on it. Makes me nervous, tbh.

 

[Gandhalfit]

Yup.
There was always hope that things would get better but with the new government I don't even have that. I think this is the first time we (me and close family) are seriously considering getting the hell out.
It was always kind of a joke but not anymore. Problem is, where to run to?

 

[lofivelcro]

@Gandhalfit the hardest part is to leave for the first time. It's easier when you don't have ties, but taking family with you is significantly harder. You also can't just walk over the border, considering your neighbours. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably aim for the EU, pick a country at random, and go from there. Depending on your language skills and your cultural background you might want to take into consideration if you want to look for diasporas or not. Visa and residence permits are another factor. But at least in the EU you don't need a visa for the first 90 days and profit from Schengen. Either way, I'm sorry that it might come to this. It's one thing to leave home because you want to, and another because you don't feel comfortable there any more.

I went to the boxing gym today, jumped a lot of rope, did Unbound 12 and rode the bicycle a lot.

My brother will visit us in three weeks. I'm excited and nervous. But mostly excited.

 

[Gandhalfit]

Maybe I'll stay for the civil war...
I did look at EU countries of course, that's basic. The EU is one of the best regions for emigration.

 

[lofivelcro]

@Gandhalfit I'd probably stay if I'd love my country and the people living in it. Or at least if it feels like home. But it's also a calculation of risk, I feel. In the end, only you can decide. Whatever you'll do, I hope you'll be safe. Or at least as safe as possible.

Unbound 13 was today. I worked a bit more on my ankle and hip flexibility to work towards real squats. And there was some more cycling.

Sometimes, bad things happen. Thankfully, today's bad thing was fairly minor. Our car broke down today, something engine related. We got it together with the house, an old Puch G from the 90s that never failed us. Our mechanic will look around for parts or an engine to replace, but until that's sorted out, we're stuck with an even older Opel Vectra. Maybe I should decide faster if I want to get a pony, after all.
No one wants to replace the Puch, though. It's a great car. The ol' reliable.

 

[Gandhalfit]

I'm taking advantage of your post.. first of all... Milan Kundera fought his battles until he had to flea his homeland to France (not that I am anywhere around his level of risk or talent or that our situation is related) but, he stayed there even though he didn't have to. Or maybe he didn't. Second of all, emotions for a birthplace can change, considering the circumstances so, while I don't feel belong, primordial emotions still chain me behind. I can say that nowhere else feels like home (probably because it isn't) and the risks feel greater than those I feel at home/here.

 

[lofivelcro]

@Gandhalfit this is a bit late, but my take on it is this: I agree with you, that primordial emotions connect one to his/her home land. You just feel a part of the soil inside your soul. Somehow, the motherland always calls and doesn't let go. But you can find another home, in another country. Because home is also where you hang your hat, where your loved ones are, where you feel like you can just close your eyes. I think you have the home you were born in, and you can have a home where you know you will die in. Having the second one can be very comforting.

I was a bit busy over the weekend. I mostly did Unbound 14, 15, 16, 17 and 18, some runs and a few trips with the bycicle.

And then there was the bowmaking weekend for summer camp. I'd say I did remarkably well. Considering that I don't have much experience with kids. A few good bows were made and a girl painted hers with a very beautiful pattern. No one got hurt, even though I have provided real arrows with real tips. They weren't proper Indian bows, because I haven't spent much time researching them, but simple short bows. All in all, it was a good weekend. I got a gift basket for my efforts.

And then there was the interesting moment on the last day, when a guy around my age, maybe a bit older, sat down next to me with a cigarette in his mouth and told me "you're a good one." After that, he told me he was uncertain if he should let his daughter attend, because he heard I was a faggot, and you know, faggots and kids and such. I nodded and told him I was technically married, not interested in minors, and I leave my sexuality in the bedroom, where it belongs. After a long pause he again said "you're a good one", grabbed me by the back of the neck and shook me with a laugh. People do that often. I don't know why. He then told me to come visit his bakery one day for some good bread.
I was there today on my bike and got a big loaf of super-dark rye bread for free. It tastes divine only with butter and pepper on it. I'm always fascinated what weird turns weird conversations sometimes take.

 

[Gandhalfit]

I'm confused. You either had cigarette guy around your little finger or you were being extra polite for some reason. I hope it was the former.

A place I would like to die in... never thought about it this way thanks

 

[lofivelcro]

@Gandhalfit cigarette guy! I like that name. I wouldn't say I was extra polite, I just say it the way it is. I'm not sure if I had him around my little finger. Would be an interesting thought, though.
Glad if I could give you another perspective on your search for a new home. From experience, I can say that once you leave your own, it could very well be that you'll be looking for a while. But that can be an adventure in itself. You'll know when you've arrived. Any maybe home won't be a country, but a person.

Today I took up the Barbell again. I hate doing squats with it, but it's so damn effective. Overhead presses are awkward. But I like the Bench Press. Deadlifts... eh. I also did Unbound 19.

Now after my part of the summer camp is done, I'm sitting on 27 bows I've made in the months leading up to it. I have no idea what to do with them. Maybe I should hide them in the forest with cryptic messages tied to them. Something like "It won't be like this forever" or "Don't open it."
Nah, probably not.

 

[Gandhalfit]

Sorry. I had no intention of being offensive
If I do ever leave (which is getting more probable by the day) I would be a wandering jew so... not really surprising. Depression induced sarcasm...
I do appreciate your help and I guess leaving will be the hardest step. Once I'm through with it anything else will be easy in comparison

 

[lofivelcro]

@Gandhalfit I honestly don't see any sign of you being offensive. So, there's nothing to be sorry about. I'm very, very hard to offend, so, fire away
Leaving the first time really is the hardest. But it can also be very liberating. It might be easier if you have a real place to go to at first, because you found work or something like that. Maybe you have a contact in another country. Or maybe you're just curious about something in another country. Sometimes, you get there by coincidence.
When in doubt, throw a dart on a world map until you hit some place where you could imagine starting. Never did that, but might be an idea.
Or you could become a digital nomad, if that would be more your style. If you find work you can do from everywhere with a laptop. But I suppose it's also a lifestyle for someone who hasn't many ties. Or a cat, in your case.

 

[lofivelcro]

Quiet days in the Hive, innit?

I had a lazy day now that the big event is over. Only Unbound 20, and a long walk with the dogs after work.

Then, bunny watching and napping on the grass. It was an enjoyable Thursday.

 

[TopNotch]

Quiet days in the Hive, innit?

Rather.

 

[Anek]

It's too warm to get up to much

 

[PhoenixRise]

Heyyyy, glad to see you back! You were missed!

 

[Mamatigerj]

Hey, @lofivelcro, just dropping by to say hi. Haven't seen you for a while; hope everything is okay.

 

[Gandhalfit]

Hi I hope everything is okay

 

[f1shie]

I am giving Cooper so many smooches to herald your eventual return.

 

[neilarey]

Happy Birthday @lofivelcro

 

[mavie]

I hope you are doing all well, i miss you here. All the best to you @lofivelcro

 

[Gandhalfit]

Hi. I hope you're having a great Birthday

 

[Mianevem]

Have a wonderful birthday!

 

[Matan]

Happy Birthday!

 

[Mamatigerj]

I miss you. I hope you are well.

 

[Fremen]

Happy Birthday

 

[TopNotch]

 

[f1shie]

Miss you bud. Hope you’re having a good one.

 

[Anek]

Miss you, I hope you're doing well!

 

[HellYeah]

 

[Lady Celerity]

I miss you! Happy birthday!

 

[NancyTree]

Belated