Neila's Journal 2024

[neilarey]

It's been so long since I posted in my old log, I decided to start a new one. I find it difficult to keep up with my workout updates here since there is only so much I am allowed to share, being on the team and all. I do a lot of testing these days so it is especially tricky. I do miss having an anchor in here, where I can just check in and write my thoughts down. I figured, I'll share what I can. When I was more consistent with logging in summer it helped me a great deal despite the fact that it seemingly only added to my already hectic day. I'll try to keep this more casual this time around and see how it goes.

These days I just wake up at ~ 5:30AM and that's that. I am awake and alert so I try to take advantage of that. I walk the boys at 6AM and then get my day started. About a year ago, I hit perimenopause but it took me months to realize what happened and why I was so miserable and angry all the time. I started training 2-3 times a day, adjusted my nutrition a bit and started focusing more on rest. With my lifestyle interventions I managed to offset a lot of the symptoms and I feel like a whole new person. I am just, well, more balanced.

I started recording my meals in chronometer so I could keep track of my nutrition. It's been 6 years since I went plant-based and, although I feel great, I wanted to make sure I was getting all the nutrients I needed. And it's a good thing I did because I am consistently under-eating Zinc and vitamin E. A coupe of weeks ago I also bought a new fitness tracker (I didn't even know samsung had a new one out and it was exactly the design I always wanted! I am so happy!). I have a history with fitness trackers... but it's been some time since my last try - maybe this time it'll be ok? So far so good, no mental issues And I love it so much, it has all the features I always wanted, too: heart rate, exercise tracking, step counter, sleep and water tracking, and a stopwatch. And then I also realized it connects to chronometer...

Anyway, welcome to my new log! I'll try to updates it as often as I can because it really does help organize my thoughts and feelings

 

[Fremen]

You could just write down what you feel like, when you feel like, even if it has nothing to do with training.
I've noticed that even just writing something every day forces me to take stock of where I am and where I'm going.
The trick for this to work for me is that it has to be very simple, even if it's just one sentence (aside from my workout plan which is little more than a copy and paste).
I stop and think for a moment and think about what I want to share, even if it's little, it's always better than nothing

 

[Karim]

Hello,

It's incredible, i do my come back in the hive the same day of Neila

 

[NancyTree]

Good luck with your new log!
And yay for your new fitness tracker!

 

[neilarey]

... Is anyone else feeling Christmas'y? I wasn't feeling it at all only a few days ago but the weather changed drastically pretty much overnight and now it's cold, gray and miserable It's a common misconception that Greece is nice and warm all year round (friends of mine were planning on packing bikinis in October when visiting me ). It can get really cold here especially in come regions. I am somewhat lucky in that respect since I live in a town that is surrounded by mountains on one side and the sea on the other. We don't get extreme temperatures here but it is pretty humid overall. I often describe it as coming out in the cold wrapped up in a wet towel It's actually very similar to Manchester weather but we do get hot summers (unlike Manchester ). Anyway, I am feeling Christmas-y so I have Christmas songs playing in the background 24/7.

My day started at 5AM today, I walked the babies and then parked myself at the gym (DAREBEE gym) for 90 minutes. I am on the quest to record all (almost all) workouts and some of the programs in our database. It takes about 3-4 takes to record one set flawlessly. I get a good workout and a nice variety out of it. It's been my morning training + 30 minutes elliptical after for a couple of months now. I get to do what I want training-wise in the evenings, though. I start my day with exercise and I finish it with exercise

My diet... has been s**t. I admit it. I didn't want to weigh myself for a couple of weeks because of that and I only braved it this morning. Fridays are usually my "Time to face the music" days. It was not too bad but yeah, I didn't expect miracles. I look at my body fat %, not my weight, btw. My goal is to keep it the same or, preferably, lower it without restricting myself like crazy. It's been... and uphill battle. Honestly, it's the time of the year I am more relaxed about my overall goals. No one of us can push 100% all the time. At this point, I am happy with micro gains - or loses, in this case. Or not change. No change is awesome, too

Another thing I struggle with these days is constant hunger. My body wants all of its fat back So I started making my meals super high protein ~ 60g of protein each, to see if it helps. It's been 3 days so far and I don't feel hungry at all. I'll see if this sticks because, realistically... it's just a lot. I might cycle this throughout the week or something. To fit my macros I have to get most of my Calories from protein and that just sucks. I live for bread and pasta plus, I found this new place in town that makes vegan croissants.... I'll report on how it works out (or doesn't) in the future!

Alright, it's time for me to have another coffee and get back to work
Thank you for stopping by!!!

 

[Maegaranthelas]

Oooh, vegan croissants sounds like a challenging bake, I hope they taste amazing!
Or at least good enough that you're not just sad about lacking the real thing.
I've seen a couple of what pass for gluten- and lactose free pizzas, and those were just the saddest facsimiles of pizza. My poor allergic friend.

I think it's perfectly normal for our bodies to change a bit with the seasons, and what they want to eat too!
The colder damper weather has arrived here as well. I treated myself to some fancy scented candles, they really bring the autumn cheer ^^

 

[neilarey]

@Maegaranthelas my thoughts exactly, originally! I once tried making croissants (before going vegan) so I know how hard it is to make the real thing, never mind a vegan version. I didn't expect much when I went to this bakery... These are the best croissants I've ever tasted! I have NO IDEA how she does it. I talked to the owner / baker and she is vegan herself (makes sense, running a vegan bakery and all) so I can trust they are actually vegan. I honestly had my doubts in the beginning You know, too good to be true and all? I now go there once a week. I like to support them and, yeah, the baked goods are incredible. Plus, they have really good coffee and comfortable chairs

I think it's perfectly normal for our bodies to change a bit with the seasons

True dat. I tend to gain weight during winter. I just feel so miserable when it's wet and dark outside for weeks.

Outside my window right now:

I treated myself to some fancy scented candles

Fancy candles? Sounds really good Maybe I should get some too

 

[WolfDreamer]

I just feel so miserable when it's wet and dark outside for weeks.

I can understand that. My seasonal depression is very real every year. My hope is that training for my 50k will help keep me motivated to stay active and find some energy on most days. I won't say every day because I'm realistic.

 

[Maegaranthelas]

My partner says I must be part flower, because I am instantly so much happier and more energetic in nice sunny weather xD
Perpetually grey days are the worst. I lose any sense of time, and feel like the day never really started.

 

[neilarey]

My hope is that training for my 50k will help keep me motivated to stay active and find some energy on most days

It's a good plan! There is an awesome book on running (if you haven't read it yet) called Born to Run by McDougall Christopher, if you need some inspiration. It's technically about barefoot running but I found it inspirational enough myself that it helped me to go from 5k to 10k overnight

 

[neilarey]

My partner says I must be part flower

Ahaha, yeah, mine calls me "an orchid" I get affected by everything - the wind, the rain, the clouds, strong smells, loud noises

I lose any sense of time, and feel like the day never really started.

Exactly that!

 

[neilarey]

I'll just forget yesterday happened. It was not a good day and I am feeling it today. Physically, I feel like I've been ran over by a train, repeatedly. Mentally... I am not too bad actually. We are having a sunny weekend after all the rain and clouds. I am making good progress work-wise including all the stuff I need to do for DAREBEE for the upcoming week. The new workouts we have coming up are easy enough that I could record them even in my sorry state. Today I'll probably work on the Fit December. I had all the notes from the testing for weeks now. I feel like the program has been getting easier and easier with every year BUT I also feel like we need easier workouts these days.

It's Sunday so I made pancakes for breakfast. I made a very basic recipe with half regular flour and half oat flour and used the griddle to fry them. I bought pancake rings a while back so it was fun testing them. The verdict? OMG, I am never making them in any other way. They came out so thick and fluffy! I usually use yogurt to top them but I was out so I used a tofu/milk blend instead. While the pancakes were cooking, I also made a berry-chia jam on the side burner. I dragged my BBQ to the kitchen balcony a couple of months ago and I've been using it for most of my cooking ever since.



Today I am also making a stollen. I never made one before so I am curious how it'll turn out. I am using a recipe from the chainbaker but I am adapting it so it's vegan. I am also using zea flour which is a nightmare to handle but it'as incredibly tasty. The dough is currently fermenting. I will see hot it'll turn out! It should be ready around lunch time. I'll probably do some Christmas baking every Sunday until Christmas. It'll give me something to look forward to all week

 

[Maegaranthelas]

Those look so incredibly good! I hope your stollen turns out equally sensational

 

[WolfDreamer]

Wow, those pancakes and jam look great!

 

[WolfDreamer]

Born to Run

I have read it, twice actually.

 

[neilarey]

... it was the best stollen I've ever had it was still hot! And it had a thick layer or marzipan in the middle...



I had to use a loaf tin to bake it, though, because zea flour has very weak gluten fibers, it just wouldn't hold up otherwise.

 

[neilarey]

Today was a good day No filming today so I just did a bit of fasted cardio and that was that. For breakfast I had tofu fish steaks with cauliflower and then for lunch I made tofu & sweet potato sausages.



For dinner I made Korean-style meal (at least my idea of one): basmati rice, rice-paper spring rolls, peanut tofu, regular kimchi + carrot kimchi, smashed cucumber salad:



I also managed to do some Christmas shopping earlier today. Sort of, I bought a bunch of tree branches for when I am ready to decorate (1st of December, probably). I went to the local Holiday Hell:



My step count is 13,000 already and I still have an evening training session ahead of me. I'll probably do the Second Spring workout tonight and then go to bed


I hope you all had an awesome day!!!
And thanks for stopping by

 

[Laura Rainbow Dragon]

Yikes! Well done braving the Holiday Hell. At least it looks like it was not busy when you were there!

The food looks yummy!

 

[NancyTree]

I went to the local Holiday Hell:

View attachment 5163

Wow..

 

[neilarey]

At least it looks like it was not busy when you were there!

3PM on a Monday it's the only "safe" time

 

[Maegaranthelas]

I forgot candy canes existed and now I kinda want one xD
I am waiting for a day of both decent weather and enough energy so I can go harvest some ivy from my hedge to hang in my house ^^
Who needs to buy a garland when there's plenty of ivy suffocating the yard and only very little space in the house anyway.
I just hang a few strands of ivy from the book-shelf-supports and put the baubles on that, with fairy lights behind =)

 

[neilarey]

I just hang a few strands of ivy from the book-shelf-supports and put the baubles on that, with fairy lights behind =)

Oh, it's going to look lovely!!

only very little space in the house anyway.

My place is super small, too, but I have very large balconies all around. Top floors in Greece are always like that: small living spaces with large balconies. So a Christmas tree takes up a large chunk of the living room and then I have to squeeze around it for a month. This year I am going to put the tree outside and only decorate it with lights I'll still see it but it'll be on the other side of the window.


*Thinking* ...and with the winds we are getting these days it'll probably end up on someone else's balcony

 

[Maegaranthelas]

You could also consider making wreaths to put on walls/doors or table wreaths with lights/candles in the middle =D
Takes up far less floor space, but will still bring a lot of seasonal cheer to the house
And you can fill them to the brim with baubles if you so choose

 

[neilarey]

Exercise Log
Morning: Exercise of the Day, 45 minutes stepper
Evening: 45 minutes walk (treadmill)

Food Log
9AM Breakfast: creamy tofu with mushrooms and onions
1 PM Lunch: rainbow salad with quinoa and black beans
Snack: 2 baked sweet potatoes
6 PM Dinner: cashew tofu curry




Today was a good day! It was productive work-wise so I feel good about it Physically... I am sore all over after recording the new workouts for the week yesterday so I am focusing on recovery today. I did 45 minutes on the stepper (on the elliptical but without holding on) this morning and the EotD. And now, as it's the end of the day for me, I am going to go and walk for another 45 minutes before bed.


I've done some Christmas decorating today as well! I got some Christmas tree branches and placed them in a vase with some lights and put a wreath over the fireplace, as @Maegaranthelas suggested. I also put an LED star and a reindeer outside of my window. It looks great! It's simple but it feels very Christmas-y in here now



And here is my doggo chilling with his toys:




I hope you all had a wonderful day and thank you for stopping by

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

Sweet dog:
BTW, wanted to share that the creamy tofu freezes pretty well - when I did it, I did two portions and froze the second one ; when I unfroze it, just a bit of liquid and it was again just the right consistence.

 

[Maegaranthelas]

Yay, it's looking very festive! No luck on the weather for picking ivy here yet, but I put up more shelves in my kitchen and it is so much cosier!
And it looks even more like a witch lives here. Well I guess that's true

And what a cute dog

 

[wjs]

I have to admit, I really love the blank white walls of your apartment. While I have nothing hanging on my walls, they are not that beautiful smooth texture of yours, nor actually white*.










*Technically, however, I am a "functional & grey" person, but that doesn't describe my walls, either. Functional(-ish)**, sure, but definitely not grey.
**Keep weather and people out? Check. Keep noise of people out? Sometimes.

 

[Fremen]

Ok, at first looking quickly I thought they were all stuffed animals

 

[NancyTree]

Ok, at first looking quickly I thought they were all stuffed animals

Me too

 

[Syrius]

Me too

Me three!! I had to look so hard to spot the pup pup!

 

[neilarey]

I really love the blank white walls of your apartment.

You would love the rest of my house too, then everything is white, everywhere. Except for the balconies, I have lots of greenery there (real and fake).

And what a cute dog

Awww, thank you so much. He is a sweetie. Both of them are

 

[neilarey]

Exercise Log
Morning Training: 40 minutes DAREBEE workouts (multiple), Exercise of the day, 30 minutes Elliptical
Evening Training: 45 minutes walking on the treadmill

Food Log
9AM Breakfast: creamy tofu banana split
2PM Lunch: salad with baked potatoes and beans
6pm Dinner: roasted broccoli with tofu fillets & yogurt mustard sauce




I had one hell of a morning today. I had videos to record (today's WOD btw, that's me this morning) and render, bake gingerbread cookies for a friend (and add the recipe to DAREBEETS), patch multiple sites and finish all of the housework before my meeting, all of this before 10AM.
I have no idea how I managed but then the rest of the day was paced much better. I worked all day and I only popped out to get some extra Christmas lights for the balcony and restock the fridge. I normally order all of my food online but I sometimes like to go to a local shop for supplies because I get to see and pick the produce. They also bring specialty food I can't get in supermarkets here (like soy yogurt, tempeh, vegan chocolate chips, organic frozen berries etc).

 

[neilarey]

Exercise Log
Morning Training: 30 minutes stepper (hard setting) + EotD
4PM Training: strength training (DAREBEE)
Evening Training: 45 minutes walking on the treadmill
Pull-Ups Today: 30 in total

Food Log
9AM Breakfast: creamy tofu with spiced sweet potato and persimmon
2PM Lunch: quinoa, roasted eggplant, roasted mushrooms with salad
4PM Snack: 100g popcorn
6PM Dinner: roasted green beans with tofu fillets and tofu-tomato sauce




Today was a good day

I had time to train here and there - I even managed to fit a small training session around 4PM today. It wasn't much but every little helps. I am trying to get back to doing pull-up regularly again. I lost the habit since summer and I need to get it back.

Apart from walking the boys this morning, I spent the rest of the day in my sweatpants, working away. I took a few breaks throughout the day, made some tasty food and watched an episode of the Yellowstone (I am on season 3 right now) while snacking on popcorn. In other words, my ideal day.
I also made some semolina cookies today but they need to soak overnight

 

[neilarey]

Exercise Log
Morning Training: EotD, 30 minutes stepper
4PM Training: Strength training and walking
Evening Training: 45 minutes of the treadmill
Total Pull-Ups Today: 30

Food Log
9AM Breakfast: carrot creamy tofu with almond and coconut milk
11 AM Treat: 2 semolina cookies with coffee
1PM Lunch: roasted mushrooms, seitan, salad, tortilla and yogurt sauce
4PM Snack: popcorn
6PM Dinner: roasted broccoli, tofu fillets with mustard tofu sauce



I was hoping I could do some recording this morning but it was so cloudy, there was just not enough light for that. The mission had to be aborted so I ended up just doing the EotD and then stepper for 30 minutes before breakfast. I really felt like something orange for breakfast (I figured I'll get a head start for Vitamin A early on) but I was all out of sweet potatoes and I didn't feel like fruit... then, I saw a couple of wilting carrots at the bottom of the drawer ... and it was decided. I made carrot creamy tofu with almond and coconut milk. It turned out great - but not as amazing at the sweet potato creamy tofu, that was next level tasty. I would make this again in a pinch, though.

I had a few errands to run, then I got a head start on some of the testing and the new workouts for next week. I made an open "pita gyro" for lunch, healthy vegan style using roasted mushrooms and seitan (ready from a pack). Later on I watched another episode of "The Story of the The Pearl Girl" and had some popcorn. Ok, I had a lot of popcorn. It was great. I have no regrets

I've done some extra strength training before dinner (DAREBEE workouts), did some extra walking and pull-ups. Dinner was simple: I just roasted some broccoli and tofu fillets (they are ready, just need reheating) with some tofu/mustard sauce.

All and all, today was a good day

I hope you had a wonderful day yourself! And thanks for stopping by!

 

[neilarey]

Saturday, November 30th:

Exercise Log
Before Breakfast: Exercise of the Day, 30 minutes stepper
11 PM workout: Mighty Snail Workout (coming soon)
4 PM workout: Second Spring Workout
8 PM workout: 45 minutes walking on the treadmill
Pull-Ups Today: 0


Food Log
9AM Breakfast: creamy sweet potato tofu with hazelnuts and chocolate chips
11AM Treat: coffee + 2 semolina cookies
1PM Lunch: peanut tempeh with salad and mashed avocado
4PM Snack: popcorn
6PM Dinner: roasted green beans with tofu fillets and cheesy tofu sauce

 

[Germanamazon]

Your meals look so amazing! Are they all on darebeets? How in the World does one start a transition from a normal way of eating to a vegan way of eating?
The pictures of the meals are so beautiful too

 

[neilarey]

Sunday, December 1st:

Exercise Log
Before Breakfast: Exercise of the Day, 30 minutes stepper
11 PM workout: Jinx Workout (coming soon)
4 PM workout: Second Spring Workout / skipped
8 PM workout: 60 minutes walking on the treadmill
Pull-Ups Today: 10

Food Log
9AM Breakfast: oat pancakes with yogurt and strawberry jam
1PM Lunch: rainbow salad with cheesy tofu sauce*
2 PM Treat: 5 stollen bites
5PM Snack: 1 medium baked sweet potato
6PM Dinner: creamy tofu with tofu fillets and green peas



* I made a very light lunch in anticipation of stuffing my face with the stollen bites I was like a kid who had to eat her vegetables before moving on to the dessert
OMG, I finally nailed the recipe. It's perfect! And, this version is so much easier to make and healthier than the store-bought! I am so happy



Another rainy day! You can't even see the mountains under all the clouds

P.S. It's a toy on the sofa.

 

[neilarey]

Your meals look so amazing! Are they all on darebeets? How in the World does one start a transition from a normal way of eating to a vegan way of eating?
The pictures of the meals are so beautiful too

Thank you so much!!

A lot of them are on DAREBEETS, yes I am using my kitchen to photograph the recipes for the website so... I eat what I make / test

Everyone is different. Some people need time to transition and do it gradually - and I think it's the best way. For me it happened overnight I was not even planning on going vegan (I thought veganism was stupid I ate meat and eggs with every meal). I was testing a vegan mealplan for DAREBEE when we still had the section on the website. It worked so well for me, I never stopped. It's been ~ 6 years. I was lucky, though, it just agreed with me and my lifestyle.

Making pretty nutritious meals is part of my therapy - I am battling multiple eating disorders here. Not to mention, literally eating the rainbow is a must if you want to hit all of the required nutrients and if you don't want to rely on heavy supplementation (except for b12, no avoiding that). I can really talk about it forever but I don't want to be that vegan

My two cents... if it's something you want to do, just go for it and do the best you can with your meals You get better and better every day after that.

 

[Germanamazon]

Everyone is different. Some people need time to transition and do it gradually - and I think it's the best way.

Thank you for the tip!
I have tried a few vegan recipes and except for scrambled tofu I found them all delicious! Scrambled tofu is just not mine.
I will look over darebeets and chose one recipe per day from there. Plus them gingerbread cookies look amazing. Going to bake them later today

 

[neilarey]

Scrambled tofu is just not mine.

I eat a LOT of tofu the thing is, there is only one brand that makes not just edible but tasty tofu: Taifun. I think it's German. If you ever give tofu another try, that's the only brand I buy. They have different flavors but I buy the plain one (for creamy and scrambled tofu) and their Japanese-style fillets

 

[Germanamazon]

You

I eat a LOT of tofu the thing is, there is only one brand that makes not just edible but tasty tofu: Taifun. I think it's German. If you ever give tofu another try, that's the only brand I buy. They have different flavors but I buy the plain one (for creamy and scrambled tofu) and their Japanese-style fillets

Your right! They are from here. I will Pick some up tomorrow in my Supermarket and give it another try.

 

[neilarey]

Monday, December 2nd:

Exercise Log
Morning Training: Exercise of the Day, 30 minutes stepper (hard setting)
Evening Training: Second Spring Workout
Pull-Ups Today: 10

Food Log
9AM Breakfast: creamy tofu with mushrooms
11 PM Coffee with friends: 3 stollen bites, 1 gingerbread cupcake
2PM Lunch: roasted broccoli with tofu fillets and cheese yogurt sauce
4PM Snack: creamy sweet potato





I had friends over in the morning so I did some baking. I made some stollen bites, gingerbread cookies and gingerbread cupcakes.
I tested a new frosting recipe that uses yogurt and protein powder and it turned out delicious. The cupcakes looked great, too, unfortunately I was so harassed I forgot to take a picture after I added the frosting



I skipped dinner and had lots of popcorn and nuts instead while watching season 3 finale of the Yellowstone

 

[neilarey]

Tuesday, December 3rd:

Exercise Log
Morning Training: Exercise of the Day, 30 minutes stepper (hard setting)
Evening Training: skipped
Pull-Ups Today: 5

Food Log
9AM Breakfast: gingerbread creamy tofu
1PM Lunch: baked sweet potato with black beans and avocado mash (fast method)
4PM Snack: popcorn & nuts
6PM Dinner: 2 tortilla wraps with tofu fillets, arugula & yogurt sauce



We got a new mattress delivered yesterday. I thought the old one was about the same height... I was so wrong. The new one is 10 cm higher. 10 cm in the world of mattresses is a LOT. I have a very low bed. It current looks like I have two mattresses on top of each other! So, we'll have to modify the bed and lower the frame.




On the bright side, the new mattress is very nice. You just need a ladder to climb on top of it

The Christmas tree was delivered today as well so I spent some time decorating it with lights. The tree is outside on the big balcony. You can see it from the living room... and also from space. It has 3500 lights on it



In the evening I baked 2kg of sweet potatoes. I just wash them and bake them in the oven for an hour. Once they are cool enough I put them in the fridge and use them up throughout the week. It's super handy. Plus, I like snacking on them

 

[neilarey]

Wednesday, December 4th:

Exercise Log
Morning Training: Exercise of the Day, 30 minutes DAREBEE workout / recording (AVA, Feel Good, Touch the Sky, Leg-endary), 30 minutes stepper (hard mode)
4PM Workout: Second Spring Workout
Evening Training: 60 minutes walking on the treadmill
Pull-Ups Today: 10

Food Log
9AM Breakfast: creamy sweet potato tofu
1PM Lunch: roasted mushrooms, giants beans, tortillas and salad
4PM Snack: 100g popcorn
6PM Dinner: cabbage & carrots with garlic tofu sauce



Quite and productive day today. I did some video recording this morning since the light was good. I was torn between making creamy gingerbread tofu and creamy sweet potato tofu for breakfast - in the end decided on the sweet potato since I have so much of it in the fridge

I made lunch using the BBQ




If I have time I'll fix the shoe compartment in my wardrobe today. It's been on my home to-do for months... I am a minimalist, everything in my place is very nice but super compact. I own 5 pairs of shoes in total but they are piled up next to my jeans. I used to have a dedicated storage for shoes on the kitchen balcony but yeah, it was not worth the real-estate in my home (there is a BBQ there now). I moved them to my wardrobe thinking I'll fix it later... that was back in August.

Edit: hey I did! Also, turns out I own 6 pairs of shoes



My home is my sanctuary. Until I moved here 8 years ago I didn't really have a home. My family moved a lot, then I moved a lot myself. I was homeless for a while twice in my life: when I was a teenager and then in my early 20s. I know what it is like to have nothing and have nowhere to sleep. When I was reading @Laura Rainbow Dragon log when she was looking for a place my cortisol levels were through the roof, my old memories just came rushing back. I am so happy everything worked out well in the end for you, Laura!

So understandably, my home means everything to me. It's my first and forever home. I'll die here. Cleaning and fixing it is how I relax. Whenever I have severe anxiety I tell myself: "I am safe. It is safe." It works better now because I actually am.

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

oooh, the sweet potato and black beans recipe is calling my name!

 

[neilarey]

oooh, the sweet potato and black beans recipe is calling my name!

it's an awesome combination! When I don't have time to make avocado mayo (or don't want to clean the blender) I just mash it with some vinegar and salt for this recipe

 

[NancyTree]

I love your Christmas tree!
And a good mattress means the world, every time I come home from a vacation I'm so grateful for mine

 

[Deadoks]

I love your new log very nice recipes, photos etc...

I have one question doh... Is all your apartment totally white?
I contrast so much with my house here I have zero white walls that I have to ask

 

[Laura Rainbow Dragon]

Thank you @neilarey .
I too am happy that you finally have a home where you are happy and safe.

It is a huge blessing, and one I can never take for granted.

 

[Syrius]

So understandably, my home means everything to me. It's my first and forever home. I'll die here. Cleaning and fixing it is how I relax. Whenever I have severe anxiety I tell myself: "I am safe. It is safe." It works better now because I actually am.

I love this for you. I am so glad that you have a home that makes you happy and safe.