Hi Bees!
I did a lot of thinking this week (and a lot of sneezing) and sprinkled some crying in there, too.
I contemplated why I'm putting in all this work to write. It's not like I'll be able to turn it into a job and make an actual living off it. I'm just not that good and even if I were, it's not exactly seen as a job in my household; more like a hobby that takes up too much time and concentration.
I grappled this week (and probably will in coming weeks, too) with WHY I write? Why put in the work when nobody will read it? And this is the place to tell you all that I DESPISE editing and revising - so why torture my soul when nobody sees it but me? It literally sucks the joy out of creating for me. I'm a sucker for the discovery phase of writing.
I got told this week someone's grandmother in my family wrote poems all her life and nobody ever saw a single one of them. That may be my future.
I write because - it's an escape from reality; because there's a story in my mind that wants to come out in some way. Maybe I learn something through this story by the time I'm done writing it, or I fall in love with the characters.
And then people will come and tear it apart. "This must be like that; that must be so; you didn't do enough research here..."
Why? Who are YOU to tell me how to write MY story? Just because you want to hear it a certain way? The only explanation could be to put it out there in a market where 90% of novels never make back the money that was spent on editing them. To follow some arbitrary rule someone set of what a book should be in order to be 'readable' or 'good' or NO ONE will ever enjoy it.
It needs to be understandable - that much I'm not arguing. After all, I have to paint a picture in your mind with enough accuracy that you can see what I'm seeing.
And on research: There's a place for it in fiction. It's true. But only so much as is needed to move the story forward IMO, to make people feel 'grounded' in a sense. Because it's a story... it's fiction... it doesn't exist... and it's not a research paper.
My new reason for writing (the one I still have to get used to) is writing for the same reason I read: to escape the world. And I'll try and make peace with the fact that nobody ever has to see it but me. It may be safer for my characters that way. I love them just as they are without conforming them to society's views of what they should be.
It's sad; I liked having one other person comment on my work. But she doesn't care anymore, either, hasn't read my stuff in ages.
I suppose one day when I'm dead someone who thinks it worthwhile can publish all my stuff. Maybe I'll be critically acclaimed for them, then. Hah. I'll give'em a thumbs-up from beyond the grave...
I still need to get back into some routine with exercise.
✴Physical Activity:
》 Random Push-ups
✴Reading:
![Right arrow :arrow_right: ➡️](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/27a1.png)
Dreamcatcher - Stephen King : 33%
![Right arrow :arrow_right: ➡️](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/27a1.png)
Leviathan Wakes - 5%
Have a great week, Bees!