Feeling Awkward in the Gym

[Saffity]

So, as my check in thread has been chronicling, I have tried out and am joining a gym. This is a fairly bare bones gym, no classes, just a cardio section, a circuit you can follow with a bunch of machines, free weights, balance stuff, TRX, and a very small stretching/abs area.

This small stretching area is where I've been doing my Darebee workouts so far, but I feel mildly awkward doing them on my own while everyone else is using the equipment.

Has anyone else found this or dealt with this? Is it just something I need to push past?

 

[AquaMarie]

Oh, yes, that was exactly how I felt when I tried to do Darebee at a local gym for a while. I thought it was just me and my anxiety!

I'm sure you can push past it, if you want! If being at the gym for workouts is something you really want to make happen, then you can absolutely keep going and just do your thing until the awkwardness passes. Some reframing thoughts (like, "I'm not on my own, we're all working out together!" or "Everyone is focused on their own workout, not mine.") when you feel awkward might be helpful, or you can be social and ask any interested looking parties if they'd like to join you .

But if being at the gym for your workouts isn't something you're really set on (like me: the gym's nice, but I have plenty of room at home, and at home I can control the music/TV ), then why be where you feel awkward? After all, you can do Darebee just about anywhere, right? You can explore and find the place you like to workout the best!

Whatever you decide, you got this!

 

[Saffity]

That's awesome, thanks! Yeah, the biggest issue with doing my workouts at home is the two cats, two kids thing. I can sometimes get the kids to join in, but more often than not I'm ending up with them on top of me.

I do try to do some of the standing/lesser intensity workouts at my standing desk at work, but anything that requires sitting down or jumping doesn't work, people would hear me.

I'll just try my best to not worry about what others think, and continue to keep my back to the wall for certain exercizes.

 

[Tranquil_warrior]

Your kid being on top of you is such a funny yet cute detail xD

 

[JohnStrong]

Has anyone else found this or dealt with this?

Yes, it can be slightly awkward at first. Then I became a regular at my spot and now it feels more regular. Eventually it became obvious to me no one gave a dang. In my case I've been working out alone in a large gymnasium.

Half a dozen or so people: walking/running on a track around it's glass walls, could watch everything I'm doing.

Janitor: sweeping around me, just trying to do their job.

Me: High knees, punches, uppercuts, push-ups to fail
*collapses in his own pool of sweat*
*loud gasping for oxygen echoing across entire gymnasium"

Janitor: "Morning"

Me: "Good... morning..."

 

[Saffity]

Your kid being on top of you is such a funny yet cute detail xD

Bridges are their favourite, one sits on my stomach, the other crawls under when I lift... combination of additional weight + longer length of time holding up so I don't squash a kid.

Pushups and planks are similar.

 

[Tranquil_warrior]

Bridges are their favourite, one sits on my stomach, the other crawls under when I lift... combination of additional weight + longer length of time holding up so I don't squash a kid.

Pushups and planks are similar.

Wow! these are so cute >w< How old are theyyyyy?
I have the opposite happening here. I am 23 and getting my mother into fitness little by little. I have started with the "Recovery" program by darebee. She is at day 3. )

 

[Saffity]

Wow! these are so cute >w< How old are theyyyyy?
I have the opposite happening here. I am 23 and getting my mother into fitness little by little. I have started with the "Recovery" program by darebee. She is at day 3. )

My daughter is 5 and my son is 2. You can see a (identity blocked) picture on the last page of my check in thread.

Daughter is called Munchie here because she was a biter when she was little. Son is called Biggie because he's a flipping giant.

 

[Laura Rainbow Dragon]

Has anyone else found this or dealt with this? Is it just something I need to push past?

This is not something I've personally had to deal with. (As I kid I used to put my parents' cassette tape player in our front window, put on a polka dot bathing suit, tie a large sheet of diaphanous red fabric around my neck, with the corners tied to my little fingers, and dance on the front lawn to Musique's "In the Bush". My mother tried really hard to get me to feel too self-conscious to do that! She failed. So doing calisthenics exercises in a gymnasium next to people who are lifting free weights and huffing and puffing on treadmills? Not a thing it would ever occur to me to feel self-conscious about!) But my understanding is that feeling self-conscious in a public gym is a demon many people do battle against.

It's not just you trying to do a DAREBEE workout either. The people lifting free weights are worried others in the gym won't think their form is good enough, or their weights heavy enough. The people on the treadmills are worried other people in the gym won't think they're skinny enough to be there. But the truth is: most everyone there is too self-absorbed to be thinking any of those things. If someone does show interest in what you're doing, it will likely be because they find it interesting and want to know how they can get involved.

So yeah: push through the awkwardness. It's not a positive adaptation in this case. (And dancing on the front lawn in a polka dot bathing suit and a giant red cape is fun! Bonus points if your mother is scandalized by the song you've chosen but cannot bring herself to explain to you why. )

 

[Saffity]

So yeah: push through the awkwardness. It's not a positive adaptation in this case. (And dancing on the front lawn in a polka dot bathing suit and a giant red cape is fun! Bonus points if your mother is scandalized by the song you've chosen but cannot bring herself to explain to you why. )

I mean, there was one infamous halloween that I dressed as a cat from Cats the musical (albeit with a fur coat, leggings and hair in ponytails rather than full bodysuit) and played around on the front yard with the trick or treaters as my mom called my gramma to try and get HER to convince me to come in and stop embarrassing myself.... but that was halloween and not a gym.

 

[Tranquil_warrior]

My daughter is 5 and my son is 2. You can see a (identity blocked) picture on the last page of my check in thread.

Daughter is called Munchie here because she was a biter when she was little. Son is called Biggie because he's a flipping giant.

I just checked! They look adorable!

I am now invested in your story haha. Everything about your family seems very wholesome. Even your status or whatever you call it "Getting strong enough to keep two tiny humans from unaliving themselves." is also so wholesome to read.

I am cheering you on for your journey.

 

[Syrius]

Has anyone else found this or dealt with this? Is it just something I need to push past?

I would sometimes do my Darebee at the gym back in university. I was lucky to find an awkward corner where most people didn't look, but it still felt awkward because I was the only one doing my thing. But you have to remember, they are all doing their own thing too. And probably feeling awkward in their own ways. Yeah, it's going to be weird, but the more you do it and the more used to it they and you become, the less weird it will be. And in the last gym I was in, there was no designated stretching space, so I am glad to hear that your gym has one.

 

[Damer]

@Saffity this is an extract from an upcoming book of mine. I think it will help create perspective in what you're feeling and it also provides a solution you could apply.

The Mind Trap
The most powerful organ we have in our body is our brain. What we think and feel about exercise and our health helps us determine what we are prepared to do to safeguard it. When we are truly focused on what we want to achieve and we are in what we call a “dialed-in” state, nothing can stop us from achieving it.

Unfortunately, at the same time, the brain which is our greatest strength, turns out to be our greatest weakness. It often twists us into knots of perception and expectations. I will give you an example: you’re training at the gym. You trained hard the day before at home. Really hard. You pushed yourself to the limit doing body weight exercises to help you develop power and speed. You now go to the gym to work on upper body strength using equipment you don’t have at home.

You have specific things in mind to do, that take into account the fact that you have not fully recovered from the session you did the day before so, quite sensibly, you want to build on what you did at home.

However, when you get to the gym it is full of lifter types. Wherever you look there is someone granting and moving some unreal amount of weight. Even the women seem to be lifting heavy that day. What do you do?

Well, if you’re truly dialed-in you will get on and do your thing, but this is not usually what happens. What usually happens, and this is backed by social psychology studies, is that our perception of our body and its fitness and capability is guided by the social group norms we are exposed to.

Within minutes of entering that lifter’s gym and starting your session you will find yourself grunting and grimacing as you push your body beyond that day’s safe levels as you try to match what you see around you.

We fear being judged and we are afraid of sticking out or not fitting in and this often trips us up when it comes to intensely personal and arguably selfish goals such as getting fitter and feeling stronger. This mental jury of our peers that has us under a spotlight the moment we enter a public space, is guided by a fierce judge that will brook no weakness from us.

Successfully dealing with it is a matter of reaffirming what is important to us and then framing that in a context that does not reject the society we live in. For instance we can acknowledge that fitness is a journey, not a destination. There is never an ‘arrival’. We are all therefore at different places of our own personal fitness journey. We each train for that moment and to allow ourselves to be swayed by the fear of being judged by others is to to be untrue to our self which means we shall abandon our journey.

This simple reframing allows us to deal with the perception of peer pressure and social judgment on terms that do not impact our self image and do not affect our well-being.

I hope this helps a little. (And you're all the first people on the planet apart from my editor, to see any part of the book.)

 

[Saffity]

This is fabulous! Thank you @Damer for sharing! This excerpt definitely has me interested in reading more and I hope you announce when your book comes up for publishing. It does help retrain the brain to get focused on what's important.

 

[Damer]

@Saffity I plan to, plus we shall have a giveaway within The Hive. I am in the process of running the final edits so I can make the deadline. Once it's in, I shall know the publication date.

 

[Damer]

I should clarify it for everyone in the thread. The giveaway in The Hive will be for a physical copy of the book. As with everything we do within Darebee, it shall also be free to download for everyone here. Fitness and health are too important to be kept behind gates and paywalls.