Dancer to a discordant system

Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
Hi everyone!

I used to be around, quite a long time ago... I don't even remember what my name was... Imoen maybe?
Long story short, I've been through many tough things, I'm still working on some of them with the help of a psychologist.
And on the physical plan, I've put on some more weight, and I really, REALLY, didn't need it, and I've had two spinal disc herniations, one that needed to be surgically removed and the other quite recently that is towards the end and that caused a "cruralgie" (sorry, no idea how to say that in English), which is a sciatica but on the front of the leg... and is about twice as painful! (believe me, I've had both :sadness:and even the double sciatica wasn't near as painful as the cruralgie!!)
Among some other cool stuff like a benign tumor in the breast that needed to be removed, a stiff neck for a month that prevented me from moving my head side to side, etc.
In other words, I'm in a particularly great physical shape :panic:

I've discovered boxing not too long ago, and fell in love with it, but I wasn't ready for it, and that caused me my second hernia.
So my main goal is to get back to boxing, and this time to prepare my body for it beforehand.

I started this journey yesterday with the Foundation Light and Back & Core, and I've decided to create this new thread to give me one more reason not to give in.

Anyway i'm glad to be back!
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
Thank you @Froud !

I had to stop these last days because of the pain I felt in the thigh (but I walked instead).
I actually realized that I had to be extra careful, as my hernia provoked a numbness around my left knee and on the internal side, from the upper thigh to the ankle... therefore I guess the muscles must be quite fragile (I couldn't walk up the stairs properly until very recently for example).

Day 3 of Foundation light + Day 3 of Back & Core this morning + some exercices with a balloon to work on the adductors (I squeeze the balloon with my knees).

Have a nice day! :twirl:
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
Day 4 Foundation Light (level 2 yoohoo :dance:)
And I had forgotten the dreaded seagulls of the Back & Core Day 4... much like the Hitchcock movie!
I did 10 seagulls only, and the raised legs only 20 (the leg wasn't raising high...)
+ 2*20 balloon squeezes for the adductors.
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
Day 5 Foundation light (level 2)
Day 5 B&C
2*20 Ballon squeezes
2*20 half bridges (for the lower back... as that's my weakest point)

I'm starting to like a little better the working out... It doesn't make me get up in the morning, but I don't do it "just because apparently it would be good for my health" anymore.
I realize that setting a long term goal (boxing) isn't helping much for now, but I actually feel some benefits physically and mentally. Yes, already, after 1 week only.
I guess boxing will come back as a strong motivation when I feel less... feeble.
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
2*20 half bridges
2*20 balloon squeezes
Foundation Light D7 (L1)
B&C D7

I reversed the whole thing to warm up before doing the squats, as I didn't want to hurt myself again (cause I know I still feel haha (sorry my brain is full of lyrics... hence the title of the thread)).
I couldn't push to the second level as I felt the tiniest warning in my thigh.
I don't know if it was real or if I was just afraid, but I stopped.

Edit: I modified the end of B&C as I can't support my whole body with just one arm (on two, I'm already trembling). So I did 2*40s of "plain" plank instead of the 2 last exercises.
 
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Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
2*20 half bridges
2*20 balloon squeezes
Foundation Light D8 (L3)
B&C D8

D-1: 9 283 steps

So I've decided many things yesterday.

1 - I checked how many steps I'd made during the day and realized that when I work from home, I simply don't walk. At all. Like 100 steps during the day (from the living room to the kitchen to the living room to the bedroom, more or less). So, easy way to fix that: I need to get out and walk everyday. At least 9000 steps for now, as that's what I do when I go to the office.

2- Instead of eating everything I can, cause tomorrow's gonna see a new me with new habits eating no sugar and no fat, I'm gonna eat "reasonably" (trying to avoid binge is my main goal), but have a cheat day per week. Yes, day not meal, because it will be a huge improvement from the cheat week, and because I know that at some point if I eat less and more healthy every other day, I won't be able physically to eat too much on the cheat day.

3- I've set a new goal, before boxing. Get back to running. My physio told me that recent studies showed that we could run even after a hernia because it actually reinforced the back muscles and the bones. But I'd like to lose some weight first. I'm not setting a goal too high (actually I don't know my weight... too scared of the scale... but at some point I will weigh myself and measure some key parts of my body) before going back to running, I'll do it when I lose a size.

4- As a reward after my 100 days streak (yep it's not tomorrow :phew:), I'll offer ME a present: a Coros Pace 3. It's something I've wanted to buy for a long time (when it was Coros Pace 2 actually), and was on the verge of buying one in September, but I got my hernia instead... can't have both I guess!

And that's it.

Kuti wishes you a great day!

20231208_103250 (1).jpg
So
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
I'm a little late for posting.

Saturday
2*20 half bridges
2*20 balloon squeezes
Foundation Light D11 (L3)
B&C D11
D-1: 5951 steps

Sunday
2*20 half bridges (already in B&C)
2*20 balloon squeezes
Foundation Light D12 (L2)
B&C D12
D-1: 2353 steps

Today
2*20 half bridges
2*20 balloon squeezes
Foundation Light D13 (L3)
B&C D13
D-1: maybe 2000? (I went out but didn't bring my phone along)

I've had a tummy ache all weekend long... it's getting better but I wonder if I don't have a problem with my intestines (irritable bowel syndrome is the translation I find).

I saw my psychologist on Friday. He is great... so easy to talk to him! He finds the right questions to make me speak about everything that's painful.
He also uses a treatment called EMDR, it soothes the traumas with the eyes movements. It's helping me I think. At least it's helped me come back around here!
 
Deadoks

Deadoks

Well-known member
Viking from Belgium
Posts: 705
"Berserker"
Ereshkigal said:
I've had a tummy ache all weekend long... it's getting better but I wonder if I don't have a problem with my intestines (irritable bowel syndrome is the translation I find).

I saw my psychologist on Friday. He is great... so easy to talk to him! He finds the right questions to make me speak about everything that's painful.
He also uses a treatment called EMDR, it soothes the traumas with the eyes movements. It's helping me I think. At least it's helped me come back around here!
Click to expand...
Hope your tummy ache will go away soon.
Irritable bowel syndrome is quite something it needs exams and stuff.

Good that you found a good mind therapist! Hope it'll help as well.

Good vibes to you
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
Deadoks said:
Irritable bowel syndrome is quite something it needs exams and stuff.
Click to expand...
I'm seeing my GP on Friday. I was thinking of cancelling, as I managed to get things back to normal, but maybe I'll go see her after all... or try and adopt a soothing diet for my belly (I've seen her and some specialists SO many times since last June that I'd like a little rest...).

But this tummy ache (and every happy little thing that goes with it) is something that happens on a regular basis. Maybe it's stress, maybe it's something else, I have no idea. The symptoms I've found about the irritable bowel syndrome are quite similar to mine, that's why I was thinking of that, but of course I'm no doctor and therefore can't diagnose what it is. Very sorry if I was hurtful in any way.
I was thinking that as I've had binges my whole life, maybe it disturbed my belly...
 
Deadoks

Deadoks

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Viking from Belgium
Posts: 705
"Berserker"
Ereshkigal said:
The symptoms I've found about the irritable bowel syndrome are quite similar to mine, that's why I was thinking of that,
Click to expand...
Symptoms are mostly the same for all, irritable bowels, crohn and etc... So if you look online you'll have all symtoms and I think most of the people will have them cause they're general symptoms.
Stress is one of the most cause of digestive, intestine problems and this is for everybody. Managing stress
Food is another one and it can be different for each of us depending of our body etc...

If you can manage to make it calm fast then it's cool and it's the best, not putting a name on something but just making it right.

Ereshkigal said:
Very sorry if I was hurtful in any way.
Click to expand...
Of course you did not :)

Hope you're well soon.
Take care
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
2*20 half bridges
2*20 balloon squeezes
Foundation Light D14 (L1)
B&C D15
D-1: 7915 steps

I wasn't feeling too well this morning, so I switched the B&C days (should be ok tomorrow, as I'll work from home).
It was a nightmare to wake up, as if I was in the middle of a cycle... and the problems with my belly are not completely over yet. So I'm gonna keep my appointment with my GP and try at least to ask for a blood test, see if everything is going ok in there.
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
2*20 balloon squeezes
Foundation Light D15 (L3)
B&C D14
D-1: 8580 steps

Skipped the half bridges, as they're already in the Foundation Light today.
B&C was a massacre but I felt some improvement with the seagulls.

It's funny cause my therapist told me that I am hypersensitive.
No surprise here, as I cry each time litterally anything happens to me (I'm happy, I cry, I'm angry, I cry...).

But what I didn't know, it's that it has an impact on just about everything in me and in my life.
Apparently, the fact that when I meet someone for the first time and that I immediately know if I'm gonna like them or not, it's because of the hypersensitivity thing (what's funny is that a colleague of mine, who witnessed a few times that I was right, asked me not long ago "but how did you know they were actually not that nice??", but I didn't know at the time...).

Or apparently, the fact that I literally fall in love with some bands (it provokes the same state as when I'm in love with someone), that I listen to them obsessively, to the point that I know everything about their music (lyrics, guitar parts, I've even started to learn the drums or learn Swedish because of a band, what their influences are, who they influenced, etc.) and that I truly love and listen to 5 or 6 bands only during my whole life, on repeat (not that easy for the boyfriend and friends haha), well it's because of this as well.
But people who love me accept it now (they all know by heart some songs they actually don't really like, or know the history of some bands they'd have never heard of if it wasn't for me... that's how I know they really love me :glee:). And it's actually such a huge thing in my life that I've learned to accept it myself...

It explains so many things, it's just crazy. It is truly an epiphany... and I'm so happy to have learnt this.
Now that I know that, I need to learn to live with it, because it's not always easy to deal with. For example, in France, when we work in a private company, we have an interview with our manager each year to set the objectives and see if you deserve a raise or not (more or less). Mine went so well, I received so many compliments by my manager, that I burst in tears... so professional :bigcry:

And I'd like to learn how to talk to people in a more natural way, how to feel less out of place with them. The social part is the most difficult part, cause except for people that I know for sure that I'm gonna like, I'm not myself... socially awkward defines me so well!

I've started to read a book about the hypersensitivity (advice from my therapist), so hopefully it'll help...
 
MadamMeow

MadamMeow

Well-known member
Fae from Central NJ
Posts: 727
"I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time, but Im too young to worry..."
Very happy you had such a great meeting at work!

You might be hyper sensitive, but I like you are a very feeling person. I hope research will help you to control it more, but even if not, hopefully the people who matter in your life understand. :ss:
 
Deadoks

Deadoks

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Viking from Belgium
Posts: 705
"Berserker"
I wanted to write that you do great workout and to continue this way, but now I hope it'll not make you cry... Joke aside I know about hypersensitivity as my partner is. Nothing magic you have to learn to control it. My partner prepare herself before any occasion she knows will make her cry or so... Take some time but she's doing self hypnosis to live the moment before, then when it happens she has better control, I mean this works for her... some books can help certainly.
And as @MadamMeow people who matter in your life understand.
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
2*20 half bridges
2*20 balloon squeezes
Foundation Light D17 (L1)
B&C D17
D-1: 7277

@MadamMeow Haha yes, so great it made me cry. I really felt bad during this interview... I'm lucky I have the sweetest manager!! :ss:

@Deadoks I can control some parts of it, and it works when I manage to put all emotions aside. But when I fail to do that, even when I try to visualize the moment (I even act all the possibilities of dialogues beforehand...), it doesn't help. There's always a tiny thing that catches me off guard, that makes me lose my composure, and pouf, here we go again :shiver:
The book I'm reading is supposed to help me (I'm only at the beginning as I need to process every chapter), so we'll see!
If not self hypnosis might be a solution indeed.
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
Couldn't wake up this morning, I'll work out tonight.
But here's for the last weekend

Saturday
2*20 half bridges
2*20 balloon squeezes
Foundation Light D17 (L1)
B&C D17
D-1: 4752

Sunday
2*20 half bridges
2*20 balloon squeezes + 10 hold
Foundation Light D18 (L1)
B&C D18
D-1: around 2000
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
Thanks @Deadoks :happy:

No motivation when I arrived home, but I did things a bit mechanically at first (get the mat out, take a first look at the exercises, etc.), and it's actually worked...

Monday
2*20 half bridges + 20 hold
2*20 balloon squeezes + 20 hold
Foundation Light D20 (L1)
B&C D20
D-1: around 500 :crawl:

Today
2*20 half bridges (already in B&C)
2*20 balloon squeezes + 20 hold
Foundation Light D21 (L1)
B&C D21
D-1: 8979

I realized that I made a mistake yesterday (I really wasn't fully awake), as it should have read Day 18 on saturday and 19 on Sunday...
Maybe it's because I weighed myself on Sunday... and God oh God, I'm not a believer, but if You could help me now, I'd be grateful :worship:
All jokes aside, I'm even heavier than I thought, and I happily crossed the morbidly obese threshold. Well... happily, not exactly, as I eat when I'm not feeling well, or feeling anxious, stressed out, afraid... which means, not all the time, but not far.
I've managed to calm things down a notch lately, but I need to lose 50kg. If I manage to do that, I'll be just slightly overweight (BMI speaking), but it's fine with me.
I'll weigh myself every month, so I'll probably show the weight loss here, as I'm not comfortable showing my weight.

Have a great day!! :moves:
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
2*20 half bridges + 30 hold
2*20 balloon squeezes + 30 hold
Foundation Light D23 (L1)
B&C D23
D-1: 1000?

We had a wonderful moment at work this morning as we (Legal dpt) were invited to smell the perfumes our Group created.
These are special perfumes as the Group I work for is famous for its Cognac, and those perfumes are aged in the same casks as we use for the Cognac.
They are really expensive (100ml for the cheapest are worth 5500€ without tax :phew:) but they smell really really crazily good!!
And the scent stays on the skin for like 24 hours.
A bit disappointed as my favorite didn't smell that good on me.
But perfumes usually give me headaches immediately, I was a bit cautious at first, but nothing's happened... as they're 97% natural, the alcohol vanishes really fast, and my head is ok!
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
2*20 half bridges + 30 hold
2*20 balloon squeezes + 30 hold
Foundation Light D24 (L3)
B&C D24 (half the seagulls... that's a win for me!)
D-1: 9229

Selmo & Chateigne in action.

20240207_210026.jpg

Selmo is the only male, and Chateigne, the one with the white spots, was called Salem to begin with but as she slaps the other cats all the time, we called her Chateigne (half cat "chat" and half vixen (?) "teigne"). She's also the one with the annoyed/angry look on my profile pic :butt:
 
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Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
@Deadoks Haha yes, my partner and I are the queen & king of the (not always funny) puns :imp:

2*20 half bridges + 30 hold
2*20 balloon squeezes + 30 hold
Challenge 1mn plank - D1
Foundation Light D25 (L1)
B&C D25
D-1: 500?

New challenge today - 1mn plank. Surprisingly I managed to hold it during 1 minute without a pause. And my abs held it pretty well, it's my back that was feeling weaker (it was really a muscle thing, I was holding the plank correctly... and my back wasn't hurting, just begging me to stop).

Have a nice weekend :perfect:
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
Sunday
2*20 half bridges + 30 hold
2*20 balloon squeezes + 30 hold
Challenge 1mn plank - D2
Foundation Light D26 (L1)
B&C D26
D-1: 500?

Monday (so... today basically)
2*20 half bridges + 30 hold
2*20 balloon squeezes + 30 hold
Challenge 1mn plank - D3
Foundation Light D27 (L1)
B&C D27
D-1: 200?

It's very difficult for me to get out of my apartment when I'm confortably watching shows from my couch... I really need to kick my own bottom these specific days!!
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
2*20 half bridges + 30 hold
2*20 balloon squeezes + 30 hold
Challenge 1mn plank - D4
Foundation Light D28 (L2)
B&C D28
D-1: 9157

I don't like when there are too many reps of an exercise... I think I get bored too quickly. Doing the 24*4 reps of arm & leg raises in B&C was too tedious, so I just split them into 12*8, doing the other exercises in between.
 
Deadoks

Deadoks

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Viking from Belgium
Posts: 705
"Berserker"
Ereshkigal said:
I don't like when there are too many reps of an exercise... I think I get bored too quickly. Doing the 24*4 reps of arm & leg raises in B&C was too tedious, so I just split them into 12*8, doing the other exercises in between.
Click to expand...
Doing superset is a good way to adapt the workout to what you like. I do this often, especially also to gain some time as then I don't do any rest between the two exercises.
But yeah for me long reps are fine :)

Enjoy your training and take care.
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
2*20 half bridges + 30 hold
2*20 balloon squeezes + 30 hold
Challenge 1mn plank - D5
Foundation Light D29 (L3)
B&C D29
D-1: 8542

The D29 of B&C was... how can I put it..... not for me.
At least not now. I've decided I'll take another dive into it when I finish the program, cause I'm obviously not ready for a level 3 abs program anyway.
I'm gonna try to run tomorrow instead of doing the programs... well at least alternate between walking and running on a treadmill, that's the plan.
I used to love running.
Life is not always nice to us, to put it mildly.

Anyway it's therapist day today, should be better tomorrow.

Have a great day!
 
Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal

Well-known member
Sorceress Posts: 55
2*20 half bridges + 30 hold
2*20 balloon squeezes + 30 hold
Challenge 1mn plank - D6
Foundation Light D30 (L1) - Complete
B&C D30 - Complete
D-1: 5904

Thanks a lot @Deadoks and @MadamMeow :heart:
You made my eyes a bit watery, but I'm a bundle of nerves today, so it's pretty normal...

The therapy session was really interesting.
I grew up in a small town on the West coast of France, where I could go swimming in the ocean, poney riding, playing tennis...
As I always say joyfully and jokingly to people who ask me where I grew up: "a very difficult childhood".
But the thing is, and I'd never seen things like that before, I was feeling extremely lonely. My parents were working their a** off for almost nothing (they had a restaurant, but... small town), so I basically never saw them, and my brother & sister had other things to do than to take care of their little sister.
So my life was filled with school, poneys and... food. That's actually when I started to use food to fill the lack of everything in my life (love, care, attention mostly), and that's also when I started to not trust people but animals (we had cats and dogs at home, and the manege wasn't far from home so I could go there all the time).

All those thoughts kinda exploded during my sleep as I woke up at 2.30am, and thought about a lot of bad memories that I'd carefully hidden. I wrote most of them cause I was afraid to forget about them in the morning.
And what's funny is that at 2.30, I woke up thinking about... Jackson Pollock. Knowing that I knew who he was (my partner is a painter, so I'd better know the "big names of painting"), but I had to look up what his works were. So I have no idea why, but as there is at least one painting of his I can see in Paris, I'll go and check it out to find out (maybe).

Anyway this morning I wasn't in the mood (nor in a condition) for running, but I completed 2 programs, yay!!

Next step: Foundation and Back & Core again.

Have a beautiful day!
 
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