In the Lion's den

Matan

Matan

Well-known member
Alchemist Posts: 784
@graoumia
I'm sorry to read that. I wish your son a lot of strength.

I don't really know why I picked alchemist. It just felt right.
My hobby? Aviation, I guess. Unfortunately, it's a hobby that requires a lot of mental energy. Something I have very little of right now.
 
Matan

Matan

Well-known member
Alchemist Posts: 784
About joining a forum. Even though I might know more about aviation than the "average Joe" does, I'm way too scared to interact with anyone (probably an impostor syndrome).
In the past I thought about starting an aviation related chatroom here in The Hive (just because this community is so amazing)...

I've been to some airshows, and in aviation museum in the past. Unfortunately nowadays it's impossible (for various reasons).
 
Matan

Matan

Well-known member
Alchemist Posts: 784
There's a lot negativity in my thread recently. Sorry about that.

I'm still alive (unfortunately). I still feel absolutely awful. I thought it'll get better somehow, that the pain will disappear. I was so wrong...
I'm a burden... I'm useless...
 
Matan

Matan

Well-known member
Alchemist Posts: 784
I'm sorry for such a stupid request, but I really need someone to talk to on a daily basis. I don't feel comfortable talking publicly.
If you have time and energy please send me a private message, and if not that's absolutely fine.
 

graoumia

Well-known member
None from France
Posts: 570
"Doing Fighter codex / Epic Five"
Hello, don't be sorry, maybe you should also ask this in the safe space place here

Safe Space

This is a safe space. Here we talk about mental health, general well-being, loneliness and depression - and ways to get through it all. We all need help sometimes. Sometimes we need support and sometimes we just need for someone to listen and just be there.
www.community.darebee.com www.community.darebee.com

I have too many problems and not enough time to be able to help you this way, but please continue to post here and give us news. Are you able to workout actually?
 
Fremen

Fremen

Well-known member
Shaman from Italy
Posts: 3,994
"“Keep an eye on the staircases. They like to change.” Percy Weasley, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone."
Maybe you could vent a bit on your thread when you feel like it.
My problem is my poor command of the English language, I read and understand but to write (also out of laziness) I use Google Translate :)
 

graoumia

Well-known member
None from France
Posts: 570
"Doing Fighter codex / Epic Five"
It is not the most important not having start yesterday, are you better today ?
I think one of the reason you should try is this :

How To Best Use Exercise To Relieve Anxiety and Depression

A cocktail of exercise and small lifestyle changes can help you fight both anxiety and depression.
darebee.com darebee.com

take care please, you can do this
 
Matan

Matan

Well-known member
Alchemist Posts: 784
Thanks @graoumia! I know that exercising would most likely make me feel better. The problem is that I just don't have any energy to force myself to do it.

I just realized that I've wasted almost half of my life. I'm in the same place as 15 years ago. Yea, I could probably do something about it, but why should I even try, I'd fail anyway.
My life is a failure. I am a failure.
 
Matan

Matan

Well-known member
Alchemist Posts: 784
I guess I can now tell you what happened.
Exactly two months ago I lost contact with someone very dear and important to me.

I'm still devastated. I thought I finally found joy in my life. I thought I finally can be loved, that I can be happy, that I don't have to be lonely.

I feel like I lost a part of myself. I lost all the motivation to fight. I literally have no more reasons to keep going.
 

graoumia

Well-known member
None from France
Posts: 570
"Doing Fighter codex / Epic Five"
so sorry to hear that. I don't know what is behind "i lost contact" and i understand you can't say more about it, that's ok if better for you not explaining. I think it is a "normal" process (don't take my words too litterally i am not english speaking so not as precise at i would like) A loss like this one is difficult, but you WILL find back some energy to fight, and you WILL find joy again.
 
Matan

Matan

Well-known member
Alchemist Posts: 784
Matan said:

Workout buddy

Hi! I was wondering if anyone would be interested in exercising together. I really need to start working out again, but I’m struggling with motivation. I thought it could be fun to have someone to motivate each other along the way. I’m planning to start slow with Foundation program. Let me...
www.community.darebee.com www.community.darebee.com
Click to expand...
Well, that was a failure.
 
MadamMeow

MadamMeow

Well-known member
Fae from Central NJ
Posts: 1,328
"I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time, but Im too young to worry..."
With some of us, like me, it's not that we don't want to. I'm time pressed.

I'm up at 4am and I'm rushed for every minute til I leave, through work, through cooking after work, through the internet. I don't get to relax during the week.

I barely have time to come here. I'm running late tonight in particular, but keeping up on everyone and the positivity of the site is one of my favorite parts of the day.

Really hope you keep at it!

For me during a time a year or two ago when I had no control over anything going on around me, it was nice that the one thing I could control was me. That helped me make great progress.

I had to let go of all the negativity, all the self doubt and depending upon validation from other people. I never thought I could, I spent almost my entire life in that mind set.

But once I did finally have enough and I was determined, I made better habits. I would tell myself to shut up when I would catch myself slipping back. And really after awhile it became liberating.

I want all of the best for you and I hope this is your first step back towards that track. Don't knock it, it may very well just happen if you focus on this for now and not all of the things you can't control. You just might stumble upon something better along the way. :)
 
Laura Rainbow Dragon

Laura Rainbow Dragon

Moderator
Moderator
Bard from Canada
Posts: 2,057
"Striving to be the change."
Congratulations on getting started with Foundation and the 1000 Calf Raises Challenge @Matan !

You are not alone.
Look at all the people coming here to support you in your thread.
Look at all the people posting their progress, their challenges and successes in their own threads.
Though we are spread far apart in the physical world, we are all in this together in the Hive.

You are not useless. And you are not a failure.
You got started back with doing a workout Program and a Challenge on top of that too!
It was hard. But you did it. That is a success!

@MadamMeow 's words are wise. There is much in the world around us that we cannot control. But we can control ourselves and how we respond to that world.
We all make change the same way: one step at a time.
Please celebrate your successes. Do not discount them. (Even if you think they are small.) Acknowledging our small successes helps us to build the belief that we can achieve even greater successes, and that belief gives us the courage to try for them. Stay strong! The Wright brothers didn't perfect their airplane in a day!
 
Matan

Matan

Well-known member
Alchemist Posts: 784
Thank you @Laura Rainbow Dragon. I really appreciate your support.
I just don't know what I'm supposed to do... I'm still very lost. I sometimes feel like I'm not even in control of myself.
I hope that getting back into fitness will help me regain some control.

Done Friday:

Foundation Day 4: Tendons (III, 60")

1000 Calf Raises Challenge Day 4

Done yesterday:

Foundation Day 5: Cardio (III, 60")

1000 Calf Raises Challenge Day 5

Done today:

Foundation Day 6: Abs (I, 60")

1000 Calf Raises Challenge Day 6

Good night/day bees!
 

graoumia

Well-known member
None from France
Posts: 570
"Doing Fighter codex / Epic Five"
I'm so sorry to read that, but i am still very proud of what you are accomplishing for your health. I don't know where you live, i hope you are safe, there are such terrible climate conditions at some places. And it doesn't help feeling good, i think. Tomorrow is day 10, could you do something special to celebrate this ? Take care, keep on your good work
 
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