So I've realized that my ongoing weight gain is largely due to laziness; laziness of the mind and the body. I've let myself become ruled by the don't wannas and the don't cares for the last couple of years. Like many, at the beginning of covid I started teleworking and basically everything around me was closed down. Things started off ok for me, but then small incursions of laziness started creeping in, like taking a shower but then not bothering to brush my hair or letting the dishes slide a night or not writing to-do lists. Not because I didn't have the time, but rather because I just want to do those things. Nobody was going to see me and I could always do the dishes the next day. Things progressed over time to skipping the occasional shower all together and then i haven't done the dishes for 3 days and I have no more clean spoons and not measuring much less logging my food anymore. The weight started going back on and other things start getting dropped, like paying a bill late because I lost track of days, more housework not getting done, wasting time playing apps on my phone, increased distraction, decreased motivation at work, less desire to exercise, more binge watching TV shows. The thoughts of I don't want to do whatever are coming more often and I'm listening to them more often as well. The don't wannas then progressed to the don't cares and then persistent procrastination for all aspects of my life. So many more examples. In addition to moving less, my work is suffering due to lack of motivation/ give a sh*t, I'm also letting myself cave to the mindless munchies so more calories of both the unhealthier food and the too much persuasion.
All of this over the last two years has lead to being the heaviest I've probably ever been and definitely the most of out of shape. I'm a lot more squishy, I get winded super easy doing simple things - getting the mail, playing with the dog, going up one flight of stairs, my body is achier, I'm sleeping worse. No big surprise on any of those. I've been doing a lot of thinking recently of how I let things get this bad as well how I can change the mindset I've been where the little things do in fact matter. I think my wake-up call was realizing my lack of effort in some things was leading to legit forgetting super simple things like turning off the water after washing my hands, not closing the cabinet after getting out a dish, going to refill my water cup only to neglect to bring the refilled cup back my desk, losing track of my train of thought in middle of writing an email, etc.
So basically I'm at the admitting I have a problem stage without any clear path as how to turn things around and improve my health both the physically and mentally. This week, I've started logging my food again - definitely need to work on that habit again but I"m starting. I've also starting writing to-do lists again with a couple easy to accomplish things per day.I"m trying to conscious of completing what I started especially the small stuff. Clearly I need a real plan, but starting to pay attention to the small like brushing my hair regularly and paying an iota of attention to my diet will start getting me into a better place which should start improving the physical. Somehow I have to stop listening to don't wannas and making efforts of applying myself. I just have to remember it took time and lots of repetition of bad habits to get to this place; the same thing applies to the way back and that the small choices really do matter in the long run even if they don't seem to do squat in the immediate.The other thing I'm trying is to make journaling a habit so I force myself to think. Her's to something. CHeers!
All of this over the last two years has lead to being the heaviest I've probably ever been and definitely the most of out of shape. I'm a lot more squishy, I get winded super easy doing simple things - getting the mail, playing with the dog, going up one flight of stairs, my body is achier, I'm sleeping worse. No big surprise on any of those. I've been doing a lot of thinking recently of how I let things get this bad as well how I can change the mindset I've been where the little things do in fact matter. I think my wake-up call was realizing my lack of effort in some things was leading to legit forgetting super simple things like turning off the water after washing my hands, not closing the cabinet after getting out a dish, going to refill my water cup only to neglect to bring the refilled cup back my desk, losing track of my train of thought in middle of writing an email, etc.
So basically I'm at the admitting I have a problem stage without any clear path as how to turn things around and improve my health both the physically and mentally. This week, I've started logging my food again - definitely need to work on that habit again but I"m starting. I've also starting writing to-do lists again with a couple easy to accomplish things per day.I"m trying to conscious of completing what I started especially the small stuff. Clearly I need a real plan, but starting to pay attention to the small like brushing my hair regularly and paying an iota of attention to my diet will start getting me into a better place which should start improving the physical. Somehow I have to stop listening to don't wannas and making efforts of applying myself. I just have to remember it took time and lots of repetition of bad habits to get to this place; the same thing applies to the way back and that the small choices really do matter in the long run even if they don't seem to do squat in the immediate.The other thing I'm trying is to make journaling a habit so I force myself to think. Her's to something. CHeers!