Fail Forward

[Lady Celerity]

What type of trees did you plant? Any fruit trees?

 

[lofivelcro]

@Lady Celerity we planted a couple of young maple trees to account for a couple ones we had to cut down. I wanted to plant birches, but we only got maple. I planted apple trees last year, though.

I might need to relent to my other half hitting me with a pocket calendar all the time in an attempt to get me to schedule my day ahead. It was one of those weird measures to combat depression, but I only scoffed at it. I'm not depressed atm, but constantly jumping around with the things I do and think, I don't get anything done besides what I need to do, like work.
For example, I think I tried doing the Fit December workout a couple of times today, but then "had" to do something else and, well, I didn't do it. Like many other things I wanted to do today. On the other hand, I'm not convinced planning the day ahead and writing everything down in a scheduler would work, because, why would it?

Tomorrow's my hopefully last appointment at the brain specialist's for this year. Fingers crossed, my right pupil still doesn't widen and contract as intended since the accident.

 

[Sif_Shepard]

Good luck at your appointment, I hope it goes well!

How about a compromise with the schedule planning, instead of a big planner with lots days in it that can feel overwhelming, what about a single piece of notebook paper that in the morning you jot down tasks you want to complete for the day, or bigger tasks you don't want to forget about for the near future? I don't really like planners much myself but if I have stuff I need to get done I find lists to be helpful.

 

[Anek]

Fingers crossed!

 

[lofivelcro]

Thanks, @Anek and @Sif_Shepard!
Was as expected. Everything seems to be going fine, the thing about the eye is a "maybe it gets better, maybe not, what do I know, here, let me shake your hand, slap your shoulder, pat your cheek, off you go, see you next year, try not to get killed in the meantime", literally Not that I expected anything different. I'm happy that I seem to be over the concussion and I guess I'll have to wait if the eye gets better. If not, no big deal.

As for the scheduler, I actually already have a small whiteboard I put down what I have to do for the next day each night because of my bad memory, but the thing with the planner seems to be more of a coping strategy. It's one of those helpful things others swear by and I can't really get behind. I try my hardest to get organised - not really - but I guess I just need to get back into the groove of things. Working out doesn't seem to be a priority at the moment, though. Everything else seems to be more interesting. Tbh, I feel like an over excited chihuahua at the moment. So much I want to do, not all of it meaningful or reasonable, but at the same time, I just nibble at things before I rush off again. Well, at least I get a lot of movement in.

Speaking of chihuahuas, I'm currently in the process of bringing Hime and Aki together. It goes so-so, but I haven't given up hope yet. At least it's not catastrophic.

 

[Lady Celerity]

It seems like your check up was a positive one, so that's good. Head injuries take a long time to heal. In time your eye may return to normal.
Some people are list makers, some not. I make lots of lists, mainly so I don't forget anything important but also because it is so satisfying to check something off as completed.
Having a routine is important when one is feeling depressed. I think that's why using a calendar can be helpful.

Good luck on integrating the dogs. We brought in another cat after one had already been here for 10 years. It hasn't been very successful but then cats are weird.

 

[BrigidForged]

I pass from depressed to overexcited Chihuahua phases. Routine reigns things in and helps keeping the mood stable.

 

[Anek]

Glad it went as well as expected! Good luck with the dogs!

 

[lofivelcro]

@Lady Celerity thanks for the encouragement. I still have hopes for my eye, but if not, it's just another addition to things on the right side of my body that are wonky. I can't really say I'm a list maker besides daily reminders, but I've spent some minutes today coming up with something to get organised. I had something with checkboxes in mind, maybe something to hang on the wall, if I can find a spot for it, idk yet.

@Nanna Io yeah, building a routine was recommended to me, too. I still have the hope that the depression's gone for good and only my energy levels need to get back to normal, although I don't mind the chihuahua phase. But it's good to hear that a routine helps. I always have my doubts when doctors tell me what to do, so first-hand experience makes it more legit.

@Anek thank you. Just my luck to have two dogs that belong to fairly antisocial races

I've dropped Fit December, who would have thought. But I did the Sculpted Glutes workout today. Apparently, insults are a good motivation for me.

 

[OJJJEM]

I simply follow a "pacing guide", but I'm also a creature of habit and only ever calendar things like appointments and list things like groceries... So, if I told you that you suck at making lists and staying on task, would that motivate you to follow your other half's planning method? *snickers*

If your pupil's still not dilating properly, your head injury's not done healing. If your doctor's saying otherwise, screw him, take it slow, get another PCP... just sayin'...

 

[lofivelcro]

@OJJJEM I dunno, you still seem to get a lot of things done, considering what you have to deal with. Can't see the bad in there. I'm still struggling with a plan, but I'll hopefully get there by the end of the weekend. About the pupil... talked to my doctor here at home about it, who said it could be very well a possibility that the pupil just gets stuck in that state. I don't like ditching my brain specialist, I've been going there for years now and trust him, but then again, I like it when doctors tell me "as long as everything's properly attached and you're not bleeding on the floor more than necessary, it's fine". I'll think about it. No idea what you mean with PCP, though. I've never taken Angel Dust and I suppose you don't want to urge me to get back to taking drugs

I got not much done today, tbh. We've been glued to the screens today because of the world cup and even now I'm glancing towards the live ticker and a thread on an imageboard all the time, because we have no TV. The first match was already nerve wracking but with a great outcome, and I have complicated feelings about the current one. I wouldn't mind seeing the Netherlands win because of my other half, but on the other hand if they would get into the half finals, it could get ugly in the house It's going great, either way. Maybe I'll work out after the match, idk yet.

Anyway, it's the weekend and I'll have a proper one this time. No work tomorrow.

Have a nice weekend, everyone.

 

[Sif_Shepard]

PCP - primary care physician? (I'm sure she wouldn't urge you towards drugs!)

Have a nice weekend!

 

[lofivelcro]

@Sif_Shepard oooh, that makes sense. I, too, was sure that OJJJEM wouldn't advise to take drugs, but that's what came to my mind first and I couldn't refrain from making a stupid joke, eh

 

[OJJJEM]

HAHAHAHA! Yes, it's Primary Care Physician... *sighs* Thanks... truly, I know it wasn't intended, but I needed a laugh.... oooor it was intended... either way, thanks for the joke

 

[lofivelcro]

@OJJJEM it was very much intended and I'm glad I could provide you with a laugh

 

[lofivelcro]

Quick update: I did the 3 AM workout after all.

 

[PhoenixRise]

OMG!! Soooo THRILLED to read you again! So sorry to hear of your accident but grateful you are coming along in your healing! An Akita?! Wow...beautiful dogs.

 

[lofivelcro]

@PhoenixRise hey, welcome back! I'm mostly recovered now, I think, only have to get back into the groove of things. I like my big Akita, but he has very high standards Hope you're doing fine yourself.

I remembered the Darebee challenges today and that they have a couple of advantages, like being bite-sized workouts if you want to call them I can fit in almost everywhere. Mostly on a whim I did Day 1 of 50 Squats a Day, Splits, Calf Raises and Knee Push-ups today. And because it was dry today outside I went for a short run. Went pretty well.

I'm procrastinating on my anti-procrastinating plan. Not unexpected, but kind of amusing. I'd like to have it in place to start on Monday, so I still have the whole of tomorrow to come up with one. What could possibly go wrong?

 

[OJJJEM]

What could possibly go wrong?

Famous last words... Let me know how much of Murphy's Law you invoke with that statement...

 

[lofivelcro]

@OJJJEM I still haven't done it, thought about it, but haven't done anything. I have 90 minutes before the day is over, I've got this

I did Day 2 of the four challenges. I also finally took care of the stairs leading into the basement. Yes, the one I feel down months ago. Yes, the one I wanted to repair months ago. I finally did it.

My inner Chihuahua's calming down. I'm now at the Jack Russel Terrier stage. Two weeks without a hint of depression. I'll down a bottle of wodka and eat a braid of garlic when I reach one month. That'll catapult me right back into the hospital. If I stay more often, maybe I get a stamp card or something.

 

[Sif_Shepard]

Congrats on fixing the stairs haha glad you finally got to it!

Hope you keep feeling well and good!

 

[OJJJEM]

*readies a stamp of disapproval for hospital stamp card*

 

[BrigidForged]

Happy I could help! I get what you mean with having doubts with doctor recommendations, sometimes they feel just too general to help. What I found is that it takes a lot of trial and error and (sadly) the old adaje of what works for one person might not work for another person is frustratingly true. Like, talk therapy seem to do wonders for many but i have never managed to stick with it for more than a few sessions. I have come to the conclusion that periods of frequent sessions spaced far apart is what works best for me.

 

[lofivelcro]

@Nanna Io yeah, trial and error probably is the only way. I'm mostly good now, but want to have some mechanisms in place to try in case the depression wants to show up again. I don't think it's a long-lasting issue, but just in case. Talk therapy is out of the question, though.

@Sif_Shepard thanks! Still feeling good, stairs look beautiful

@OJJJEM awwww......

Rejoice, I did day 3 of the challenges today. I also did the 300 burpees for the Pineapple on the christmas Tree. This time I was mostly conscious. As conscious as you can be for 300 burpees. Last year, I was sleep-deprived and did way too many

And... I didn't managed to set up my anti-procrastination plan. Last night I thought "you can do it tomorrow morning at work in a quiet minute". At work I thought "eh, you want to start in the afternoon anyway, do it after work". After work, I had one of my few hyper-focused moments and, for some reason, watched Gaddafi's speach in front of the UN from 2009, read a lot of articles about the man and Lybia, and afterwards went political on my poor and unprepared other half until I sucked him in and down the rabbit hole it went. It's 11 o'clock now. Still no anti-procrastination plan in sight. When I procrastinate, I do it properly and give 100%. No time should go unwasted.

 

[lofivelcro]

Another day of the challenges done, that is day 4, and a run outside in the cold. I'm sticking with challenges for now, adding maybe another one after day 5, maybe not. I'll thnk about it when I get there.

The good news is that I actually sat down, pulled out a notebook, and started working on my anti-procrastination plan. So far, I have a long list of things I want to do or learn and three, I think, things I want to achieve. That's not much, but something. Next step is giving the things on the long list priority ratings to home in on two or three I want to integrate into my day. Maybe I'll get to that tomorrow. I hope I have the plan up and running after Christmas is done. See, I've wanted to have it worked out last week and now I'm planning for after Christmas. With a bit of luck it's ready at the start of next year.

On more good news, it doesn't bother me at the moment. My days feel pretty nice.

In that vein, and after I closed yesterdays post with the words "No time should go unwasted".... I lay on the fur today and did nothing. Instead, I thought about wasting time and that it's kind of a stupid concept. I feel that's its a fairly new one. Idk, somehow, when I didn't have internet and just lived from day to day, I wasted a lot of time just walking around for hours and not feeling bad about it in the slightest. When I fire up the PC to look a bit through the internet, though, I find a lot of articles about "not wasting time" and "being productive". I later called my dad, who was wasting time, too, by lying on the couch and staring at the ceiling. I asked him what he had done twenty, thirty years ago to kill time. Aside from watching TV and goofing around, the answer was "mostly nothing. Was nice". So, apparently, wasting time didn't seem to be a big deal back then, judging from my statistical relevant group of one person. I'm still thinking about the subject. If it's bad to waste time, if we're being shooed around in a futile hunt for a vague feeling of being productive, which leads to stress, which leads to... eh. I stop there.
I'm going to waste some more time this evening.

 

[Lady Celerity]

It's my belief that if you spend time thinking and contemplating then it's not 'wasted' time. Too many people today never learned how to think. Instead they parrot the voices they hear in the media or elsewhere without asking themselves 'What do I really think about this?'

 

[Sif_Shepard]

I think 'wasting time not being productive' can be wonderfully refreshing

 

[BrigidForged]

During Covid in italy we suddenly had so many speeches about how boredom is actually an important part of life, especially for kids.

 

[Gandhalfit]

I agree with the aforementioned comments. Boredom and/or self reflection is incredibly important.

 

[lofivelcro]

@Lady Celerity I always have this saying in my head "a man -and I guess a woman, too- should be able to be alone with his/her thoughts once in a while". Have the feeling, though, that many people are a bit afraid of that. And sometimes it feels like thinking is uncomfortable, so maybe it's not bad to let someone else do the thinking once in a while and... I suppose you get where I'm going with this.

@Sif_Shepard absolutely. Sometimes, being bored feels like luxury.

@Nanna Io I think that's pretty cool, emphasising the importance of being bored. It only gets a bit uncomfortable if you're bored for too long.

@Gandhalfit oh yes, self-reflection is super important, but can be kind of uncomfortable. But still, very helpful.

Have to admit, I somehow forgot about posting yesterday after a couple of threads and just wandered off at one point. No idea why. Standing desk makes it too easy, I guess. You just move around while typing away, and then you move a bit too far away, and somehow you don't get back, and then you're on the other side of the room, etc. At one point you wander by the PC again, realise it's still running and just shut it down without checking what you were doing last. Might be a me-thing. Idk.

Day 5 of the challenges were done yesterday.
Day 6 today.
I also realised I thought 300 burpees were enough for the ornament and already claimed it two days ago, but it was 400. In my defence, I did full burpees, but still felt bad so did the remaining 100 today. Still within the time limit, so all's good.

It's supposed to get warm over here tomorrow. I want those negative degrees finally, please. And some snow. But no... 15°C tomorrow, which probably amounts to 10°C. Thanks for nothing, I guess.

 

[Gandhalfit]

Congrats on the ornament. But with full 300 burpees I think you should get 2 .

 

[f1shie]

300 burpees should land you a medal from the United Nations.

 

[lofivelcro]

Thanks, @Gandhalfit and @f1shtacular !

I actually kept doing burpees yesterday and today, but not much else. I wasn't really home yesterday.

Anyway, life's somewhat weird but still pretty good at the moment.

Hope you all have a nice weekend.

 

[lofivelcro]

Another batch of burpees and the WotD (He who fights with Monsters) done. I somehow like the steady up and down of burpees, and the push-ups are much easier if done fast. I can do ~20 push-ups paired with burpees, but if I do them slow and steady, it gets harder and I'm currently at 23. Maybe one day I'll reach the 50 push-ups in one go.

A bit mentally drained atm because of things happening around the house, mostly dog related, but still feeling pretty good. Some days are like this. Three weeks without depression. Had a very slight dip two days ago, but recovered quickly, so it doesn't count, imo.

 

[lofivelcro]

Ah, the sweet joys of picking up the dumbbells. I did a full body compound routine today consisting of squats, bench presses and rows. Felt nice. There also was a short run. Still waiting for cold weather.

 

[BrigidForged]

Belated congrats on the burpees!

 

[lofivelcro]

Thank you, @Nanna Io

I had a kind of cardio day today. Which meant, another run and half an hour on the stepper because I got lost in my book. Does that even count as cardio? I sweated a lot, but I'm not sure.

That being said... We finally reached zero degrees today! It's officially somewhat cold! It makes me happy, but at the same time I look at the forecast for tomorrow and get sad again, because the temperatures will be climbing over the next days again. I miss the heavy snow we often had during my childhood and I kind of miss the mountains, too.

 

[lofivelcro]

And another round of picking up heavy dumbbells and putting them back down in various movements. Still pretty nice.

What I didn't do, and haven't done in a while, is working on my anti-procrastination plan. Tbh, I completely forgot about that. Not that it's bad, I have nothing to do I have to do, but stuff I want to do I forget about. Not a big deal, but a bit frustrating. Well, not really, but I tell myself it should be frustrating, because right now, I feel like just living from day to day, floating through the weeks. Eh.

 

[lofivelcro]

Only did the WotD (Hello, abs) today.

I might unplug for the three Christmas days, even though we don't celebrate. But it's a good time to kick back and relax a bit, ignore the PC and, I don't know, play another few rounds of Scrabble or something.

I'll still be here tomorrow, though.

 

[f1shie]

Do what you gotta do. We'll be here for you whenever you're back. Just as long as you pet every single dog for me.

 

[lofivelcro]

@f1shtacular I'll pet every single dog for you, every day. All four of them

I did another round of the simple full body routine with dumbbells again. That's all for today, because the rest was spent bringing the house in order.

Like I mentioned yesterday, I'm going to be unplugged for the next two or three days. Maybe I'll spend the days reviewing the year, coming up with a battle plan for the next, trying to figure out what to do with my life aside from all the accomplishments I already have to my name and maybe get Aki and Hime closer together.

I wish you all happy holidays and Merry Christmas if you celebrate, hope you have relaxing and peaceful days.

Have a nice weekend, everyone´.

 

[NancyTree]

Hapoy holidays, and I wish you too a relaxing unplugged couple of days

 

[Lady Celerity]

@lofivelcro Merry Christmas to you and your household!

 

[PhoenixRise]

Wishing you the best restful weekend my friend

 

[Haleth]

Merry Christmas, have a good weekend!

 

[Anek]

Happy holidays!

 

[TopNotch]

Enjoy.

 

[Sif_Shepard]

Hope you're having a Merry Christmas!

 

[lofivelcro]

Back into working out today with a restart of my favourite 8-week fullbody dumbbell routine, W1D1.

Thank you all for your Christmas wishes, hope you all had a nice time, too

I didn't work out over the holidays. We didn't celebrate, only went to church on Sunday when some guy from town played the Toccata all day long with breaks when there wasn't service and we listened to one round before leaving again. We didn't go last year, but usually do.
No presents were exchanged this year, either. Instead, we were outside a lot with the dogs. Now that we have a fourth and young dog, Aki and Hime slowly start to get along better. They're not exactly friends, but I see the day coming when I can leave both of them outside without worrying. I'll take any progress I can get.
Thanks to my newly acquired ability to talk almost as fast as normal people, we did a lot of that, too, and I'm a bit hoarse today.
It was a very satisfying three day weekend. I feel very content and happy atm, still no sign of depressions, which means I'm now at a month without and thus I proclaim myself as mentally sound again.
Also, I can sleep long this week with no apprentice and the shop only being open on appointments

 

[Anek]

Yay!