Well, once again I'm back. It's been a bit of a ... trial...
As you know (cue flash-back voice for those who a)
don't know, b) have forgotten, c) never gave a pair of foetid dingo's kidneys anyway...) my domestic situation has been in a state of flux. Pretty much for the last year. Since I took off an a road-trip longer than initially intended. Now we've got to the stage of paperwork from lawyers...
Anyway, I was suddenly confronted with having to make a decision that did not align with my moral compass, and this caused me a great deal of angst.
Option One: evict an older couple (late 60s?) from the house in which they have been living for over 15 years, knowing that there was absolutely
no way they'd be able to afford to rent another house (probably even an apartment) in Canberra, given their low income and the cost of rents in most capital cities, which was why I had kept the rent
far below market rate and haven't increased it in over a decade.
Option Two: be homeless myself, as I could not afford to buy another house in Canberra.
Neither particularly appealled to me. Part of me said, "TN, you're not a charity." Another part said, "You don't have to be a charity to be
charitable." "But TN, charity begins at home." So on and so forth. Lots of stress; I couldn't see a happy solution to my problem. Days went by. I was not happy.
Suddenly, like a blinding flash of light, a solution occurred to me.
I didn't have to live in Canberra. Really. I'd miss my Taekwondo and archery, and of course the children (but there are issue there too which we won't go into), but there was no real reason why I should live in Canberra. So I thought to look outside Canberra, within about 3 hours' drive, and I can afford some places. All I have to do is find somewhere I'd like to live. Yeah, easy, right? ...
Anyway, great lightening of heart, easing of angst. I don't have a new house yet, but I have been offered a 3-bedroom house on the east coast for about two years. Not my preferred option (coast versus mountains) but beggars can't be choosers and this gives me more time to find a place. I'll be moving within the next month or so.
Also had a good talk, the first one in a long time, stating that really, I simply have to have a break. I have to get away. I was so desperate to get away that I seriously considered joining the army. A torn hamstring followed by a broken foot delayed any action on this front. That was probably a Good Thing. I know I'm not the easiest to live with - I don't play nice with others. Before I embarked on this whole marriage lark, I did warn that my longest previous relationship hadn't past the two-month mark... That I got bored easily... That my place had always been sacrosanct,
my place. In short, I feel that I had hung out the warning flags, and I have done pretty well, all in all - even if the last 5 years have been killing me inside.
I think perhaps that was why I began training Taekwondo 5 nights a week. Why I jumped into so many monthly charity challenges. Why I started hiking (and running!). Why I recommenced archery. Why I began again to lose myself in my writing.
But that's over now, pretty much. Before much longer, I can really be myself again, all the time. And I can get a dog.
There was one thing outstanding though, one thing that, if I could make it right, things might be a little better. The recovery of my second child's missing cat. Shortly after learning of the uncomfortable decision that I thought I would have to make, I looked out of my window and there, sunning herself under the cherry tree, was the missing cat. So I slipped on some shoes and went out. She saw me (remember, I'm the one that
all our cats like!) and meowed at me. I moved slowly closer; she meowed again and moved under the feijoa. I circled around and grabbed her.
She went totally wild! Complete spitfire! Scratching and biting and twisting. I was worried that I'd hurt her but I simply
had to get her back for my daughter.
And I did.
True, my face had blood running down it and dripping from my chin (fortunately, only a couple of small scratches once I'd washed up but faces like to bleed), and one hand was badly clawed, the other badly bitten, but the cat was back home. She is, of course, a bit thinner than she had been, but other than that, she's fine. And she pretty much instantly forgave me and has been
way more affectionate to everyone than she used to be.
I, on the other hand, spent the afternoon at the hospital, getting patched up, being issued with antibiotics and getting a tetanus injection. That was the only bright spot. As I pulled up my sleeve for the injection, the nurse said, "Oh, you've got a nice bit of muscle here. Do you work out?" Pathetic, really, if that was the bright spot...
I had to go back the next day, and the day after
that I had to go to Day Surgery. Got there at 7am, in a fasted state. They only started getting to the 5 'locals' (those who were having local anaesthetic as opposed to general, which I had opted for, despite the fact I'd need about 8 injections...) by 7pm! I'd had enough by this time and said goodbye and went home. I'm healing okay. One of the bites on my left arm was a bit infected but I'm sure it's getting better. But this all meant that I couldn't really use my hands for much - no weights, no bike rides, etc. So I did running instead.
Yep, I'm running more. My endurance is improving. My brain says, "TN, you can stop running now; we've had enough." But I say right back to it, "No, brain, there's no reason to stop; I can keep going." And so I do. I run around where I tend to hike, sometimes walking up steeper slopes (like today) but generally just keeping going, no matter how slowly. I try not to think that every hike or run or walk is one closer to the last I'll do around here. Just when I've found a fun 5km route and all.
I shan't bother to list what I've been doing for the last few weeks (mostly walking or running, and I had to forgo the plank rotations in the May challenge and just do the knee-to-elbows instead), but I'll list today. It's brief.
- Hike/trail run - 4.92km.
-
Epic legs Day 1
There'll be packing happening, and I'll have to work out how to dismantle Marcy. Putting the battle rope back in the bag it came in was a challenge all of its own...
I've done no writing for the last few weeks, but I did read 29 books in May.
So there you go. All up-to-date.