Remember when I said about life changes coming up? I am not excited about them anymore. My dreams about it shattered today.
Allow me to explain: I was supposed to move out of the house into an empty house so that I would housekeep while it is put for sale. The situation about the house is... complicated, but let's say someone that has absolutely nothing to do with the family except that he is... fornicating with one of my aunts wants to make a claim for it, despite that he never knew the real owner of the house. In that house, an uncle and his family used to live before he moved out of the country, so it has been occupied by someone else... until recently, after my mom helped my uncle to kick them out. That's the long - very long story short. It seems like this has nothing to do with anything, but I'm writing this because it'll make sense later. Bear with me.
Now, grandma's passing triggered chaos among the family. Thankfully, no one got hurt, but it could have happened. And after she told me the entire story, and seeing a couple of videos from back when my brother first came back and went there to visit grandma... I didn't recognize two of my aunts anymore, and grandma... well, she looked very unhealthy. Skinny. And, according to what I've been told, she even looked malnourished, to the point of being unrecognizeable. I wouldn't be surprised if she died due to malnourishment, but according to one of my aunts (there's many uncles and aunts), there might have been something else. One time she felt her, she felt bandages around her arms, and there was some... blackening, that went from her foot all over her leg, to a place where she had surgery; an implant put on. Gangrene. And there's another tidbit of information: these people, my corrupted aunt, manipulated aunt, and corrupted aunt's... monster seemed to have used her on a park to beg for money. Not to mention, the house in which the video was filmed... that house was never decaying, and it is. And the way both of the aunts I've mentioned with the not so dearing adjectives...
I... I don't know how to say it without someone chopping everything off and say that I'm fat shaming, but here's the thing: they don't look like themselves. Grandma was very skinny, and so were they. Their hairs had been cut horribly, and corrupted aunt... she used to be the most beautiful of my mom's sisters, and she's the second youngest. Now, she looks like the oldest sister of them all. And my poor manipulated aunt... You know Madeline Stuart? She almost reminded me of her, even when she was plus size. Now, she looks decrepit. And the corruptor, the one who's... you know what with my corrupted aunt... I've never seen someone so disgustingly fat that a flap of skin would drop down their belly, like it's a tongue. I seriously am trying to not sound like I'm fat shaming, but it is very clear who is the one consuming everything. The money from my grandma's inheritance from grandpa, the benefits... he is taking them all, like a parasite, while leaving everything else to rot. And he is looking for more, and more, and more to take. It's evil, man. It's pure evil. I've known that evil exists, but to see it this close, to have this close... it's infuriating, it's disgusting, it makes me feel powerless that I can't do anything about it. The pure evil of everything that's been going on is so palpable that it repulses me. The idea of being near them is... yuck. Then I heard that all four of them used to sleep on the same... "bed," because it looked like a couch. The thought that my mom put on my head after saying that is so horrible that I don't dare to repeat it.
So, what's the connection between the these two things? Guess where the house I'll be housekeeping is? Right beside that decrepyt house. I'm not already moved in, and I am hating one neighbor already. And my mom knows that. I would spend like... 24 hours at best, but frankly, I refuse to move in, and to stay by myself in there. Dad can help me with it by staying with me during the day, so that people can see movement around the house. But, in all honesty, I just want someone to buy that place as soon as possible, and pay whatever the hell they can pay. If I have to move back to town, I'd rather to stay as far as possible from those people. As I told my mom, once I'm there, I'll play the girl that doesn't know them, and is not interested to know them. They killed my grandma. They are not my family anymore.
So this is why I was looking forward to D&D today, which was... alright. I overprepared, and it noticed. It wasn't fun to DM, and it was a nightmare to play because there was two GMPCs during the session. I lost the rhythm of making fights again, because I either make them too hard, or I make them too easy. Last boss fight lasted for 11 rounds, and characters were going down fast, this boss fight lasted for less than five, but there was a lot of damage done. I think part of it is because I am playing a Paladin, and there was a Totemic Warrior Barbarian as the second GMPC who managed to restrain (pin down) the boss that triggered the lair actions two rounds before the end. Yet two party members were down.
Again, this party is entirely made out of Tieflings because I wanted to make a campaign that related to the way they are seen in the multiverse, and how they would deal in a place where bigotry against them is commonplace. There's my Oath of Vengeance Paladin, Lore Bard / Artificer, Sacred Soul Sorcerer, and Phantom Rogue. Lore Bard / Artificer is a bit of a Chaotic Neutral (Stupid) that pissed me off today because he (the player), who normally knows how to play Chaotic Neutral characters, got so into it that, at one point, froze the history, and the Phantom Rogue is almost Chaotic Evil to the core. Sacred Soul Sorcerer is a hedonist who likes to drink and bet, which already forced me to develop a character flaw that abuses his -2 CON modifier, and a DC 10 WIS Save to resist the urge to take a drink when he's around alcohol. My Paladin ended up as the mom of the entire party. The dynamic is fun, but today was a bit frustrating. I may have to punish a couple of players next session, which, thankfully, will be easier to plan as I won't be overplanning as much. And I believe there might be less homebrewing and editing stat blocks.
I may try to write tonight. I need more escapism. I'll work out a lot tomorrow. I'm thinking Combat, aside the WoD.
April 16th, 2023
Kickboxing: Day 124
Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
Daily Dare: 60 Seconds Knee-to-elbows +EC
Count: 1084 - 1080 +EC
Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories
Get to Bed on Time
Programs:
Awaiting next month
Bucket List:
Bootcamp
Shadebound
Workouts:
100 Burpees +EC
DAREdice: 4 Double Burpees w/Jump Knee-Tuck
1 minute
Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
Hamstring Stretch - 1 minute each stretch (+1 minute per side)
2-Minute Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (
#1,
#2,
#3,
H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 4
Challenges:
Leg Day Everyday: Day 16
Bucket List:
Everest
Warrior Arms
Writing progress:
Nifty 350
Furious 500
Nightcap 200
News Column 900 Max
1500 Words Daily!
Reading progress:
Ringworld - 40%
The Colour of Magic
Art progress:
Nope
Music:
Nope
Others:
No sleight of hand, cardistry, or card magic
No math
No Python