Goal + Action = Reality

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Fit December Day 19
Push-up Streak Day 18
Daily step goal
Lat pull-down 1 x 10 because I couldn't be bothered today. It's a bit hot.

Had to go out to many places to get just a few items. There is no such thing as a delicatessen in this blighted place! I had to go to three supermarkets (two of the same chain) to get three items! Jealous of the fact that my mum managed to get a smoked eel for her Christmas lunch (which she'll share with my brother). At least I managed to track down some Bismarck herring and some liverwurst. Treated myself to a bit of Stilton too. Looking forward to my Christmas lunch! And driving home around lunchtime, the temperature reading on my dashboard was 41°. Even Creed didn't spend much time outside. The forecast for around Christmas is supposed to be much cooler, so that'll be nice.

 

[WolfDreamer]

There is no such thing as a delicatessen in this blighted place!

Closest thing we have is a Walmart deli.

smoked eel

That sounds delicious! My mother used to make a dressing (also called stuffing) that includes oysters.

At least I managed to track down some Bismarck herring and some liverwurst

Nice!

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Fit December Day 20
Push-up Streak Day 19
Daily step goal
Lat pull-down 5 x 10
Banded Terminal Knee Extension 3 x 12

We actually had a spot of rain today. Well, it was a spot here, although the record claims that over 3mm was recorded in the city. That makes 7mm so far this month. Hmm... Last December was about 104mm. It's been dry!

@WolfDreamer My mum would take the eel flesh from the bones and give my dad the spine. We kids would cluster around and perhaps we'd get a bit, a preview of what was to come! Seems to me we're always being told how much choice we have but when I look around, I don't see it. Sure, there are a dozen different brands of tinned tomatoes, but no longer any tinned cucumbers (and they were really good on liverwurst!); heaps of smoked salmon, but smoked eel or mackeral is rare. There used to a lot more variety. Oh well, I'm sure I'll be able to make do!

Snowballs!!

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Fit December Day 21
Push-up Streak Day 20
Daily step goal

We actually had rain today! I mean, actual water falling from the sky!! We must have had about 10mm, not loads but certainly better than nothing. And my tank has filled enough now so that any more water in there will finally come out of the gravity tap (curses on the plumber who fixed it too high!). I think it was all the snowballs that have been sent my way. They partially melted before they got to me and came down as rain. Keep 'em coming, I say! What's that I hear? More pitter-patters on my roof. Better go and check the fight!

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Fit December Day 22
Push-up Streak Day 21
Daily step goal
Inverted row 3 x 5
TKE 3 x 12
Lateral raise 3 x 15 (when you pull on a singlet and realise you've kind of been neglecting those side delts! )
Glute bridge 3 x 15
Glute bridge hold 30secs (inspired by cat passing under me...)
And snowballs. Lots of snowballs...

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility did a couple of hip circles with the bad hip to see if I was up to it yet. Maybe I should have just done one...
Fit December Day 23
Push-up Streak Day 22
Daily step goal
And loads of snowballs!

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Fit December Day 24
Push-up Streak Day 23
Daily step goal
TKE 3 x 12es
Lateral raise 3 x 15

I enjoyed my Christmas dinner tonight. It never really changes and that's what makes it special. Iced cucumber soup to start. I love cucumber soup - so simple, so delicious. I make enough to have a few nights' worth, but I only ever make it for Christmas. If I made it any other time, that would diminish its specialness. Followed by turkey breast roast (says serves 7 but... hahaha. Serves one with almost equivalent leftovers - well, okay, about 1/3 left-over) and potato salad (eggs, boiled potatoes, and pickled gherkins, with a dressing of mayonnaise mixed with pickle juice). And that's it. Excellent. My big lunch tomorrow.
Santa was nice to me. Knew just what I wanted and left me a new jigsaw puzzle (shocker that!) and a nice watch (more on that later). Hope you all have as excellent a Christmas as I have had.
And this evening I had to watch the obligatory Christmas movie - Die Hard, of course! I wonder how many people have watched that movie this week.

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Fit December Day 25 - for those who hadn't had enough jacks recently!
Push-up Streak Day 24
Rice bucket - decided to do a follow-along rather than just muddle through like usual. I actually preferred it - felt more structured, which it was!


This year I have been obsessed with achieving my daily step goal. That's not hyperbole, I really became obsessed. It was another streak I was chasing. Yet was it something worth doing, especially the way I was doing it? You see, sometimes I'd be off my goal by up to 2000 steps an hour off bedtime, so I'd pace around until I'd got my goal. But what worth was it to get my steps in a hurry like that when I'd had a relatively inert day? Wandering manically around for several minutes wasn't increasing my cardiovascular fitness, nor was it redressing a lazy day. I began thinking about this quite seriously. When I was doing my daily cardio on the treadmill, I usually got my goal without effort, but if I wanted to go cycling instead, I hesitated because that didn't clock up the steps. This was silly thinking.
Furthermore, I began relying on my Garmin (don't get me wrong - I love the thing, and when I want to do some physical activity, I'll use it to record that) to tell me how well I slept - as though I couldn't fathom that for myself simply by asking how I felt! My Garmin would tell me if I was up for training today and if so, to what intensity. I had stopped listening to my own body and was relying on a device to tell me what to do. I'd relinquished my autonomy.
On realising this, I decided to stop wearing my Garmin for daily use and instead to use a simple watch that just tells me the time. And so, in the watch pocket of my jeans (yes, that little pocket was originally designed to carry a pocket watch!), attached to a chain, is a small silver pocket watch, c. 1950-1970. Nothing flash, but nice enough.
So today, my 108 day step streak broke. Did I get my steps today? I really don't think so. Was I active and moving on an hourly or so basis today? Certainly. And that'll do me. I'm reclaiming my confidence in myself, in knowing me better than a device can.

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Fit December Day 26
Push-up Streak Day 25
Rice bucket
Glute Bridge 3 x 10
Glute Bridge hold x 30sec
Lying hip abduction 3 x 10es

Dog ate another candle.

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Fit December Day 27
Push-up Streak Day 26
Rice bucket
Glute Bridge 3 x 15
Glute Bridge hold x 30sec
Lying hip abduction 3 x 10es
TKE 3 x 12es
Short Arc Quads 3 x 10es

Damn, I could have sworn there had been a day between the glute bridges when I did them again today. I was supposed to have a day between! Oh well.

My watch stopped! Must remember to wind it when I get dressed in the mornings.

Decided it was time to start dismantling that old 'green house'. So here it is as it was. The bird netting had been attached to poles with zip ties, and knotted around branches, but it came off. Then there was a layer of thick plastic, attached to the frame with rusted wire twists. Thank goodness for wire cutters and grip strength! And finally, the metal frame. Don't know what it used to be - possibly a cage over the back of a truck.

The cage is attached to the standing posts with metal brackets that have been nailed on rather than screwed, so they'll be fun to remove. The whole assembly is fairly heavy. Probably fine for two people to lift it up onto the posts, but a bit of a challenge for one to take it down. I think I'll fence in the side and front of this area and make it the chicken run. It's time the little girls were out of my lounge room. Then I'll start working on the fencing that blocks off the trees. Chickens first, though, and I'll have to move the coop too. Well, don't want to get bored, right?

 

[Fanta]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Fit December Day 25 - for those who hadn't had enough jacks recently!
Push-up Streak Day 24
Rice bucket - decided to do a follow-along rather than just muddle through like usual. I actually preferred it - felt more structured, which it was!


This year I have been obsessed with achieving my daily step goal. That's not hyperbole, I really became obsessed. It was another streak I was chasing. Yet was it something worth doing, especially the way I was doing it? You see, sometimes I'd be off my goal by up to 2000 steps an hour off bedtime, so I'd pace around until I'd got my goal. But what worth was it to get my steps in a hurry like that when I'd had a relatively inert day? Wandering manically around for several minutes wasn't increasing my cardiovascular fitness, nor was it redressing a lazy day. I began thinking about this quite seriously. When I was doing my daily cardio on the treadmill, I usually got my goal without effort, but if I wanted to go cycling instead, I hesitated because that didn't clock up the steps. This was silly thinking.
Furthermore, I began relying on my Garmin (don't get me wrong - I love the thing, and when I want to do some physical activity, I'll use it to record that) to tell me how well I slept - as though I couldn't fathom that for myself simply by asking how I felt! My Garmin would tell me if I was up for training today and if so, to what intensity. I had stopped listening to my own body and was relying on a device to tell me what to do. I'd relinquished my autonomy.
On realising this, I decided to stop wearing my Garmin for daily use and instead to use a simple watch that just tells me the time. And so, in the watch pocket of my jeans (yes, that little pocket was originally designed to carry a pocket watch!), attached to a chain, is a small silver pocket watch, c. 1950-1970. Nothing flash, but nice enough.
So today, my 108 day step streak broke. Did I get my steps today? I really don't think so. Was I active and moving on an hourly or so basis today? Certainly. And that'll do me. I'm reclaiming my confidence in myself, in knowing me better than a device can.

I was worried like you that getting a Garmin would make me obsess over numbers in a creeping manner over time.
Much like Darebee challenges - collect them all! attitude I knew I could get into.
I am watching myself closely for this. I don't do the VO2 max and all this stuff, but the Stress meter and the HRV has taught me quite a ferw things already. I need to relax the shit out way more, so I am starting to get into breathing and meditation exercises more often in the day...

In a sense, having a motivator is great, it kills some of the excuses we come up readily not to make any physical effort. But, as you said, it can become something that blinds us to other messages.

So far, my watch has made me consciously decide to clock in steps (I set a 10k goal) not before I go to bed to chase a number, but to have a moment in the day where I either go outside or spend some time on a walking pad as an instrospection moment (excluding the walkstation at work where we can actually work AND walk at the same time).

I don't listen to something as I do it, I am with myself and my thoughts. It does take TIME to do this - and boy do we look for distractions all the time, eh?

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Fit December Day 28
Push-up Streak Day 27
Scapular push-ups 2 x 10

Hmm, think I have been overdoing those hip exercises recently because it was really playing up today. And it had been doing so well!

Got out the mower and worked on the back yard. Everything is yellow and sere, but it does look better now it's all the same height. Managed to fold all that thick plastic up into a tight roll and get it in the bin, even leaving space for my usual bag of rubbish, so that's nicely cleared away. All I have to do now is heave that cage off the posts and position it in front. Then wire around the enclosure and move the hen house. Should be good. Realised I can also use one of the posts to anchor my battle rope, leaving a gap in the wire at the bottom. Put a tarp down to keep the rope clean. Again, should be good. It's all coming together for your old mate, TN!

@Fanta I found I was becoming too focused on the number - regardless of what time of day I was moving. Instead of simply moving because I wanted to, I felt I had to, and if I hadn't done enough, well... I would alternate between harder and easier cardio days, and on easier days, I might only get 2000-3000 steps on the treadmill, and maybe the same throughout the day. But it was a kind of rest day so it should have been enough, and it probably was, but my mind (and my Garmin) was calling it insufficient. And then you get those days when walking is simply not really possible for whatever reason - you're having to do a lot of driving, or you're just not physically up to it. That sort of thing would stress me out, and I decided I didn't need that stress. And days like today, when I'm out mowing - there aren't so many steps, but I'm active for over an hour yet it shows up as... what? I'd rather focus on enjoying movement again. I'd kind of forgotten to do that.

And now the greatest stress I have is remembering to wind my watch in the morning!

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

That small watch is really nice! My older bro got my grandfather's and uses it regularly too.

 

[Fremen]

Beautiful watch

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Fit December Day 29
Push-up Streak Day 28

So, bit of a slack day today. This morning, I was standing by the kitchen window, about to have my First Thing Water, when I noticed a blackbird at the entrance to my big shed. I watched her pop inside and a few second later, come flying out. Odd, I thought. She hopped around the yard for a while, pecking at the ground, then she went back into the shed and came flying out again a few second later. Curiouser and curiouser, I said, channelling my inner Alice. She returned to the shed, and stayed in there for 20 seconds (I counted) and then left. Well, I was too curious now. I had my water and got dressed, then, armed with my phone, headed out to my shed. And in the corner, at the very back where I keep the paint tins and roller, I found this:

So I popped back into the house and came back with a torch so I could get a better picture:

I was in a bit of a quandary. On the one hand, these are blackbird chicks, and in this country, blackbirds are an introduced (and now pest) species. On the other hand - baby birds! Given that they're still blind and naked, I guess they're only a couple of days old. And I must confess, I like blackbirds.
This is kind of like my very own Christmas re-enactment!

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Fit December Day 30
Push-up Streak Day 29
Lateral raise 3 x 12

Out in the back yard this morning. Got the cage down to ground level, but there were short posts at the base that had obviously slotted into whatever it had originally been part of, and they meant that I couldn't pull the thing along. So I grabbed some of the leftover concrete roof tiles and put them under the posts and then I could drag the cage the length (or rather, lack thereof!) of a roof tile. Slow and laborious, but I've got the thing in position. Then, being neither a mad dog nor an Englishman, I went inside.
Later I went to the big shed and there was mama bird with her young 'uns. Their eyes are open now and they were a bit noisier. Mama wasn't very happy to see me, eyed me most suspiciously - I think she's got trust issues.

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

Awwwww! baby birds do are ugly but weirdly touching!
And you remind me of a little young robin and his/her mother in our Brittany garden ! young one hopped in my hand , but mamma bird came from the bushes and trilled until young one hopped away and back to her. I could imagine the talk, "What do you think you were doing, missie / mister ? NEVER trust these bald tall things! NEVER!"

 

[TopNotch]

@PetiteSheWolf I'm not bald!

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 1. This one looks fun!

I had been thinking about beginning one of the new programmes (so many to choose from!) today, having finally decided on Stacked because there are only some lunges and squats so the hip shouldn't get too stressed, but by the time I'd moved the chicken coop, my arms were saying "Lift what? No." Chicken wire, ring locks and nails kept me entertained part of the afternoon, then I did the trick with the concrete roofing tiles again, as I don't have any sort of trolley. I advise anyone thinking of getting/building a chicken coop that isn't designed to move (i.e. is not on wheels) to make sure where you put it is where it is going to live forever!

This is the time of year when people think about New Year's Resolutions. I do not believe in New Year's Resolutions. For one, over 90% of them fail. It is generally thought this is because they are not specific enough - and that's probably quite true. I think there is another reason. I think that if you wait until the first of January to start making some sort of major change in your life, then you're not really invested in that change. If you were, you wouldn't wait for some arbitrary date before starting. And if you're not really invested in it, you're unlikely to stick with it, and why set yourself up for failure?
Instead, look at your life and see if there is anything in your life that you really want to change. Break that down into bite-sized pieces and start now. Okay, you can start tomorrow but only one tomorrow.
A lot of us here make plans, and we start them whenever. We start them when a new programme comes along (and we've finally managed to decide which one to do!), and we start a challenge in the middle of a month because we've just come across one that seems perfect for where we are right now. We start things on our birthdays - or the day after so we can pig out on cake first! We start them when friends say, hey, let's do a 5K in four months' time. In short, we don't need any particular date to get us to start doing things - we start them because we really want to.
If you really want to do something, if you have that drive within you, you will do it, you will struggle and strive and you will achieve. Whether it is exactly what you set out to achieve when you began or not doesn't matter so much as the fact that you worked for it, whatever it was. And remember, too, in the process of achieving anything, we change. We are no longer the person we were when we began, and so it is not so remarkable that our goals may change too.
So no New Year's Resolutions for me. I have loads of plans - some of which I still have to refine and break down into those bite-sized pieces, but there's no real rush. I do not go into the new year without some intentions, without a determination (however mild) to be better (in whichever way/s) than I was this year, but I will not commence the year by setting myself up with stresses and potential failures. They may well come but let them be unexpected and not predetermined.

I wish you all a Happy New Year.

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

Grins, well, compared to birds... and happy new year, @TopNotch !

 

[Fanta]

I don't believe in resolutions on Jan 1st either. You are not alone!

It's like a mood thing people get out of in the snap of a finger.
It's also why... well... I don't start and end things on specific dates or something. Just like you said.

Breaking down goals in small quantified and manageable portions is a great approach. Last winter I had "seasonal depression" or something that made me stop doing EVERYthing I was doing. I was hoping real hard it would not happen this time around - so far so good! I made different plans for my recurring issue of lacking focus / finishing things. I'm not attached to endings or completing so much anymore, but it would be nice to ACTUALLY get 1 badge on my darebee profile, for all the things I have tried/started but never finishedon this website
This is my 1 small goal for Jan 2026 haha. I hope this chicken coop cleanup ends soon for you, it really looks like a complicated thing to sort out.

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 2
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 1

I'm not going to start a new programme until I have some house work dealt with. First the chicken run, then the floors. Then I reward myself with some structured fun!

It was a cool grey day today which was quite pleasant. I worked on the run - realised that I have to put a top over the run to discourage the little girls from trying to fly over it. My big girls don't try to get over fences (which is good because I'm surrounded by dogs) but the little ones are young and stupid, and there are certain lessons you don't even get a chance to learn. So I worked on that and it seemed to be going well until everything fell apart. I really hate chicken wire. I had tried so hard and was so disheartened. I mooched into my big shed to see if I had something that would work and my eyes fell on something so I gave it a go. It seems to be working but I've left it uncompleted to see if it really does work with the weight hanging off it. If it's still in place tomorrow, I think I've cracked it. It was still up when I shut the girls in this evening, so fingers crossed!

Mama bird and I had a run-in this afternoon. I was exiting the big shed at the same time she was flying in - so perhaps it was more of a fly-in than a run-in. We bumped heads - well, I'm not sure exactly what part of her struck me, there was a flurry of wings! Then she lurked on the tree right outside the shed, some insect in her beak, and it was about 20 minutes before she decided to go in. This evening I peeked in at them, seeing mama sitting on top of her babies, three beaks pointed upward. It's so exciting watching them grow.

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 3
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 2
Rice bucket
SAQ 3 x 15

Well, my older chickens somehow manage to get out of the run. They refuse to show me how they do this. I've fenced over the top of the lower part, so we'll see what happens now.

Today I went out and bought a calendar and a diary. I'm not stupid - had I bought them a couple of days ago, each would have cost me $26, but since I've let a whole 1 1/2 days of the new year pass me by, I instead picked up what I wanted for a mere $8 each. And they were what I wanted - the selection was still very good. The diary is A5, a lovely photo of Australian "wild places" on the left, and a week on the right. I don't need much room anyway; it's just to record something I do. The calendar is another Walking Dead one - I think that's four years in a row now. Perhaps I ought to try something new next year! And just for fun and something different, I bought one of those daily quote things. This one is called "Unfu*k yourself" (yes, even with the *!). I was impressed by the very first quote:
This is your life. Right here, right now, and you have a choice. You can either indulge your shit and repeat it until you die or finally take yourself on in a way that actually changes your life.
I think I'm going to enjoy these daily thoughts.

 

[agc]

Well, my older chickens somehow manage to get out of the run. They refuse to show me how they do this.

My folks used to have sheep that would escape their enclosure and they would stare down my dad if he sat up there waiting for them to do it (even if he was inside the car, the sheep knew he was there), and then in the time it took him to go inside to get a drink of water and come back out they'd make their move and would be outside the enclosure!

Hopefully your solution keeps the chooks safe inside!

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 4
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 3
SAQ 3 x 15

Today was the day. I picked up my little pullets, one by one, and put them in the chicken run. Rafa looked decidedly unimpressed...

and she didn't want to get off my hand. Had to shake her off. Once the little girls were in, I opened the coop door and let the big girls out. There are various theories about the best way to introduce new chickens to the old hands, but I've always found that if either you sneak them into the coop at night when everyone's dozy and they wake up with a new face, they accept it, being chickens, without realising it is a new face, or you let the new ones in the yard first and then let the old ones in, they also accept because these new ones were there when they got there, so... Really, I've never had a problem. Chickens are a bit thick.

Rafa looks so incredibly white, compared to Rosie's creamy brown, and Rocher looks a bit faded compared to Spot's deep blackness with red/brown highlights. Such a beautiful combination of colours. I can't say breeds, because believe it or not, Spot, Rocher and Rafa are all Australorp crosses, Spot with a New Hampshire dad, Rocher and Rafa with a Sussex dad. Rosie's a Rhode Island White/New Hampshire cross. The big girls went into their house when it got dark, but the little ones didn't know to, so I had to scramble under the wire (didn't think that through) and caught one in each hand. That meant I had to crawl out on my knees as my hands were full, and I popped them in the little house. I might have to do the same tomorrow, but they might just go there, having woken up in the house and having to leave it in the morning. We'll see.
And @agc I found out how the big girls had been getting out. They jumped onto the lower roof of the hen house, then up the next level of it and over it, then down the other side. I just hope they don't teach the little girls such bad habits.

And since I'm in a birdy mood -

The babies have feathers!

 

[Fanta]

woohoo! I want to get chickens too - I was planning to last year and had to push out the plan to this summer (or maybe next year even) - to first finish all of the house outside renovations before I build my own coop (I estimate a good 2-3k CAD budget for it since I want to insulate for winter and keep the chickens all year long).

Love seeing the photos!! So precious.

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 5
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 4
SAQ 3 x 15

I went to bed too late again last night, but at least it was earlier than the night before! I really must address my poor sleep habits. But last night, I was tucked up in bed (figuratively, it was actually quite warm), listening to the thunder storm that had been going on for about the last hour. I love thunder storms. There was a sudden burst of heavy rain, about 1-2 minutes, and then I was hearing the most peculiar noises from my roof. Strange bangings as though my roof trusses were about to give up the ghost and come crashing through my ceiling. After a few moments of these noises continuing, I got up. It was shortly after midnight by this time. I could see nothing odd out the window, just hearing these random crashes. So I took my torch and went out the back door, all the houses around me quiet and dark, and I kept hearing this loud intermittent banging. Something was hitting the metal roofs around me - my big shed, the neighbour's metal covering. It was either meteorites that were deliberately targetting terrestrial metal roofs, or hail. I was leaning toward the meteorite theory, when a large white ball landed near my feet. Oh, it was hail after all. Not golf-ball sized hail, and not one big sudden dump of it either. The one I saw was the size of - well, it wouldn't have fit in the neck of your average soft-drink bottle, but it wasn't so very big. There must have been a lot banging around because it was noisy, but I didn't see too many of the ground. After a while, they stopped falling, and I went back to bed, relieved that my ceiling wasn't likely to collapse on me in my sleep!

I need to deal with my late nights, but one thing at a time. Today, for the second time in a row, I had a decent (enough) dinner. I have an issue with cooking - and eating. I'd rather go hungry than get myself some food. Go figure. Apparently there are all these psychological reasons (trauma response, etc etc), but the upshot of the whole thing is, I couldn't be bothered to cook or prepare a meal, and even if I had something prepared in the fridge that needed 2 minutes in the microwave, I couldn't be bothered to do that either. Eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes, hey? But last night I cooked up some pork steaks, and tossed a potato into the air fryer. Today I ate the other half of those pork steaks, and had another potato. And raspberries for dessert. Two days in a row! I am absurdly proud of myself. I also ate a bit of stollen today and the last boiled egg I had. So that's not bad. I'm putting it here to try to get myself to commit to cooking. Or at least eating. I mean, how hard is it to open a tin of tuna - one with a ring pull? I have a list of meals I like, quick and easy to cook, so it's not as though I'm stuck for ideas. I've just got to get back into a long-lost habit.
Ate a decent dinner

 

[Fanta]

Apparently there are all these psychological reasons (trauma response, etc etc), but the upshot of the whole thing is, I couldn't be bothered to cook or prepare a meal, and even if I had something prepared in the fridge that needed 2 minutes in the microwave, I couldn't be bothered to do that either. Eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes, hey?

Love the self-reflections... it could be conditionning as well, and not necessarily trauma. I tend to do the same with drinking and peeing. I just forget to drink completely, even when thirsty, and when I feel like I need to pee, I just wait and wait and hold on. It feels silly when I write this down, but dayum. I "get" what you are going through.

I'm fighting one specific conditionning - for years. One of my HARDEST one to beat with all of my willpower is the temptation of getting a snack or some food when I get back from work, no matter the time. This is a conditionning I see as a "reward" after a "hard day of work": get my mini dopamine hit with some foods! It's mental, I see it as such. I cave in sometimes. When I'm off work (and am still busy spending energy in the day), it doesn't occur, so it's definitely a mental pavlov dog thing going on for me. I'm trying to stick to a 18:6 IF schedule for months now, and it creeps back in to this day!

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 6
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 5
SAQ 3 x 15
Ate a decent dinner Chicken and mushroom risotto with leftovers for another three meals.

This evening I popped into the Big Shed to check out the chicks, and mum was on them. I only saw two, and then saw that the third had fallen out of the nest. So I tried to grab it. Wriggly little thing! It squirmed away and hid under the shelving unit, so I was heaving things out of the way to get at it. It scurried further away into the middle of the shed, so I pushed things back and grabbed it securely this time. Popped it in the nest with its siblings. Hope mama returns (she got cranky at me and left).

All evidence of the pullets is now gone from my lounge room. I moved out the A/V equipment and the television cabinet. Need to scrub the floor and then get to sealing it. I'll have to keep the dog out of here and hope there's not too much fur flying around when the sealant goes down. I'm getting there.

@Fanta The reason doesn't really matter to me; it's the result I have to cope with. And I'm trying.

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 7
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 6
SAQ 3 x 15
Ate a decent dinner Risotto leftovers

I am an empty nester. This morning when I went into the Big Shed, only one fledgling was in the nest, the other two were out investigating the shed. One was sitting on the old kitchen sink. Yep, there's everything in my shed, including the kitchen sink! I thought I'd get the little birds out of their awkward positions but they complained and flew away from wherever I put them. Both parents were outside the shed, giving me a right talking to, let me tell you, when they heard the kids complaining. And then later this afternoon, there was silence and emptiness. Gone, my little blackbirds and their parents. At least I got to hold them for a bit.

Spot laid a fairy egg today. Smaller than a sour cherry.

 

[NightWolf714]

I have never heard of a fairy egg before! I had to google it. So tiny!

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 8
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 7
Ate a decent dinner

My internet was so slow last night I couldn't post. When you write a sentence and wait a minute for the words to appear, it gets rather frustrating, and I'd already been frustrated by technology earlier. I popped into a shop and wanted to buy one small item that cost $2.50. There were no manned (peopled?) checkouts so I had to go to self-serve - which I generally hate. I put my bags in the bag area and then I was told to wait while my bags were being checked. This was new and had never happened to me before. A message then came up that said someone (as in, a live human being) may be required to check my bags. This wouldn't have been neccessary if there had been a live human there to begin with, and now I was being told by a machine to wait for a human because for some reason - what? I'd done something wrong, something it couldn't cope with, by putting all my bags down, bags that also contained things like my sunglasses? That really riled me and I left, leaving my proposed purchase behind. I never do this but I fully understand why people do. I guess that shop saved $2.50 by encouraging me not to buy something that I could do without, so there's a positive.

@NightWolf714 A fairy egg and its yolkless contents:

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 9
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 8
Ate a decent dinner

A tad hot today (around 37). So I did something rather moronic. I decided to scrub my loungeroom floor, which raised the sweat, and then put the sealant down. I could recoat after 30 minutes and walk on it after 2 hours, but it's only fully cured after 7 days. It was nearly 2 by the time I'd finally got everything moved out, the floor swept, and scrubbed (yep, large parts on hands and knees and working a scrubbing brush!), and finally started sealing. That was quite fun and easy, though I did step on a wet spot a few times so my soles are also well sealed. First coat was diluted 1:1. Second coat wasn't but I added to what was left in the tray so it was a little diluted. When the 2 hours were up, it was dinner time so I fed the beasties and then looked at the sealant left in the tray and decided to spread a third coat. Damn, why did I do that? That just meant that I couldn't spend the evening (or really any part of the day) in front of my airconditioner! I'm lurking back in my bedroom with the beasties, and it's 28 degrees in here because I had to keep the window closed until just now and there's no breeze. Tomorrow I'm back in front of that airconditioner!

Spoiler: Housing woes/rant

I appreciate housing woes, I really do. I understand that the housing market in Australia is absolutely sucky, and that if you do find a place to rent, then the rents are exorbitant. And I feel for those people who have to rent. My brother is one of them, and he has to move out in May and there's nowhere for him to go. So he expects to be welcomed into my little house. Tonight he rang me and we were talking about the housing market and I said that he probably didn't want to go to Victoria because, though the market there wasn't as bad as here - and he told me to F- off and hung up on me. I texted a why? He responded saying that I'm a property owner with funds talking to a renter without funds, and I've forgotten what it's like not to own my own property. I told him that I've recently left an abusive relationship, living in a house that was never mine, where I was never allowed to make any part of it reflect me, where I didn't even have any furniture that suited me (except for my single bed that I bought when I moved into the spare room), and that didn't change in any way when I left because nothing there had been mine. I told him that I remembered how good it felt to move into a house that was all mine, where I could get (eventually. I'm still working on it) furniture that suited me, where the paintwork and decor were what I wanted, where finally I could express myself. I was in shared accommodation until I came here and finally bought my own house. I was in it only a few years before I moved out again. And since I've been in this little house, I've been busy changing it to reflect me. It's not there yet but it's getting there. But he expects me to accept him with open arms - after only 21 months of living by myself. So yeah, I'm selfish. He was earning before me, had a decent job where he was bringing in about twice what I was when I bought this house, when I lived extremely frugally and put every cent I could into the mortgage. Had he entered the housing market when he had been earning well, he too could have had a house. The property market only began to rise around the time I bought (I was very lucky!). Choices. Why am I now to be responsible for his? He could ask our aunt to house him. She also has a two-bedroom house, and her block is larger than mine. Also, she's in the same city he is. I just know that if he were to move in with me, he'll be here forever. Rant over. I just needed this out.

 

[Fremen]

Spoiler: What I think.

I fully understand how necessary it is to finally take back your life and how it's anything but selfish to not take on the responsibilities of others.
Fortunately, as I get older, I'm less inclined to indulge other people's desires; it's not my thing.

 

[Lady Celerity]

re Housing rant
You are not being selfish. You are setting boundaries. There is a big difference. Each one of us is responsible for the choices we make. Ok, so you are a property owner and your brother isn't. So what? Eventually he will find a place to live and it's not up to you to provide him with an easy way out. If he is employed and earning an income maybe he could cut back on some lifestyle expenses. Or look for a roommate. Or call your aunt. Stand firm! I realize this may come across as harsh but I understand where you are coming from. I've always been the responsible and dependable one watching irresponsible family members get bailed out and enabled over and over. It doesn't help them. Now if someone is truly in need, that's a different story and you should help if able to. However, even then there needs to be parameters that are clearly understood by all. Hope that helps.

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 10
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 9

Dinner was kind of.. well, I did prepare something. But it's hot, and I never feel like eating when it's hot - who does? But I had something and it wasn't unhealthy.

Bit embarrassed by yesterday's bleat. Went to delete it (as I have done with many bleats before!) but it had already been commented on and deleting something that someone's taken the time to comment on seems somewhat churlish to me. So it stands, and thanks you @Fremen and @Lady Celerity for your kind and supportive words. I think the phone call last night was simply that proverbial straw.

My floor is curing well. I realised that I couldn't be in front of the airconditioner yet, because dragging something like my Kloudsac onto the floor would not be a good idea, so I spent another day lurking in my bedroom and here I'll be until next Thursday when the 7-day curing period is up. I have my fan in here with me so it's not been so bad. Despite it's being 30 degrees in here, the cat still wants to sleep pressed up against my leg...

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 11
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 10
SAQ 3 x 15

Woke up in the small hours to find the cat curled up on my thighs. What is it about hot weather cats don't get?

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 12
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 11
Single-leg RDL 1 x 10 (because I got distracted and somehow forgot to do any more sets... )
Ate a decent meal - still risotto leftovers.

It was deliciously cool today (hence the risotto for dinner), a break from the heatwave! I didn't even need to use my fan at all, and when I shut in the chickens this evening, the breeze was even a little chilly. Things will climb up again tomorrow but at least there was a nice respite today.

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 13
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 12
SAQ 3 x 15
Bridges 3 x 10
40 Archers


Another pleasant day. Got the washing done and on the line.
Sometimes I wish I could split myself into a few separate bodies and set each to work at a different task. By that, I don't mean I was super busy, but rather there were many different things I wanted to do but I can only do one thing at a time. *sigh* I started the jigsaw puzzle I gave myself for Christmas. And I started work on a new story. And I began reading another novel. I stopped myself from doing that for long, hence the jigsaw instead, because I've already read 11 books so far this year (though one was a novella so I'm not sure that really counts), and started a 12th, and it's only the 12th of January.

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 14
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 13

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 15
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 14
Daily Dips Challenge Day 1 - Hmm, a 60-day challenge. Those triceps obviously need a lot of work!
SAQ 3 x 15
Lying leg abductions 3 x 10
O/H triceps extension 3 x 10

It's just started bucketing with rain. Won't last long but it's nice while it does.

 

[agc]

Definitely not your problem re: your brother. If he swears at you and hangs up over the phone he's probably not going to be any better as a housemate. You're wise to trust your gut about him never moving out if he came to stay - if he's kicking up this much of a stink about it now imagine what it'd be like if you had to evict him down the track? I get helping family but you can't pour from an empty cup.

Completely sympathise that housing is extremely difficult right now. I was very lucky with timing too and bought just before the pandemic (and even back then house prices felt ridiculously expensive). My younger brother is essentially locked out of the market now - it is impossible for him to save enough money in his full time job to keep up with the unrelenting rise in house prices. And as a homeowner the price rises mean nothing to me because even if I sell, the next house will have risen in price too. The only people who win are property investors and the government (stamp duty). And there's less votes in fixing the issue than there is in prolonging it (more owners than first home buyers).

I've already read 11 books so far this year (though one was a novella so I'm not sure that really counts), and started a 12th, and it's only the 12th of January.

That is an insane rate! Congratulations. I've read about 11 pages.

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 16
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 15
Daily Dips Challenge Day 2 I know there's nothing to be gained from feeling a bit sore after doing an exercise but I can't help but cheer because it makes me think that something (perhaps even my triceps!) is working.

Tomorrow is going to be an exciting day. The 7-day curing period for the sealer is over (technically, it was over about 2 1/2 hours ago) and I can put things back in my lounge room. Of course, most of the things going in there will be the stuff coming out of my gym so I can then seal that and the kitchen. Another week for the curing, then I refill the gym and the whole new build part of the house will be done. Looking forward to it!

@agc I tend to read a lot but once I moved into my little house and bought myself a television, I found myself watching more than reading, and that's not great for the brain. So now I'm back to reading more than watching. I need, however, to slow down on the reading and make sure I'm doing other things too, though!

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 17
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 16
Daily Dips Challenge Day 3
Banded pull-aparts 3 x 10

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 18
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 17
Daily Dips Challenge Day 4

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 19
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 18
Daily Dips Challenge Day 5
Banded pull-aparts 3 x 10

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 20
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 19
Daily Dips Challenge Day 6

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 21
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 20
Daily Dips Challenge Day 7
Glute bridge 3 x 10

This is for yesterday. Peculiarly, I could ot get access to Darebee at all. I could not update my dips, etc, and even this morning when I've opened the push-ups challenge, all my red crosses have disappeared and I can't put them back at all. Some weird sort of glitch from my end, I suppose. Here's hoping it sorts itself out. Soon.

 

[MangoTux]

I saw the same thing earlier. The progress boxes on programs/challenges are still missing, but the site is back and loading.

 

[TopNotch]

First Thing Water
Wake Up! Mobility
Arcade challenge Day 22
50 Push-ups a day challenge Day 21
Daily Dips Challenge Day 8
Lying side-leg raises 3 x 10

Nice to know my inability to access the site had nothing to do with me! Yesterday I moved the fridge and the piano and sealed the floors under them - or rather, where they were and where they will again be. Tomorrow I'll move the fridge back because I can't leave it where it is for 7 days for the full curing (pressed up against the cupboards). I figure 40 hours will have to do. There will still be air movement under the fridge so things will be fine. Then I'll seal the kitchen and the gym. Wait another seven days and move stuff back in. I realised that I had to dismantle Marcy if I wanted to do a proper job, but please, let this be the last time! As it is, I left as much of her intact as possible and managed to slide her (on my sheepskin mat) across the sealed lounge-room floor. She was still bloody heavy!

Apparently, I have read for 41 hours in the last 12 days. But today I spent most of the day at my desk so haven't done much reading at all. Yet.