Still and again

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
I think I've forgotten how to do this. :blink: But I found the emoji's but they also don't seem to work the way I expect. :facepalm: Weird but I'll figure it out.

So much is different and so much is the same.

About 1300 kcal today but I'm not very good at tracking this.
88 oz of liquid - this I am measuring.

20 minute walk on treadmill - still sore from leg workout Saturday.
BE Foundation W1D1 - Legs & Abs - 15 lb DB & 2 x 8lb DB

And an epsom salt bath.

So many missing friends. But still many familiar faces.
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
so sleep is still an issue.

Monday night went to sleep at 11:30, woke at 3 and couldn't go back to sleep. Quit trying a little after 4 and went to the gym. most of the time lately i know why my sleep is disturbed. this time i have no idea. i can't remember a time before now that i had this kind of insomnia.

BE Foundation W1 D2 - Chest and bicep - 1 mi on treadmill (15:10 mi / 18 min total), DB incline & Hammer curls 12 reps/3 sets, DB flat bench & push-ups & single arm curls 12 reps/3 sets, DB flies & ISO hold curls 8 reps /2 sets, plank reach for time NOTE: i definitely started too light on the dumbbells, except the ISO hold curl ... that was too heavy and too light (the just right DB were not available) and i did planks instead of plank reach. lots of room for improvement but that's why i'm doing it.

1850-ish kcal (20% carbs / 40 % fats / 40 % protein) unfortunately too many of the carbs were from sugar (BBQ sauce was one source - tricksy tricksy hobbits!!) which caused problems with my sleep. i don't hate the macros. i feel better when carbs are lower and when it is vegetable carbs instead of sugar carbs. protein is nicely high.

100 oz of liquid -- including a caffeinated sparkling water which i consciously chose because it was late and i had a long drive ahead of me ... and today i am paying for all the things ...

the high carbs (esp sugar carbs) cause night sweats. i didn't even think about it when i had the pulled chicken and pulled pork - without buns. there was also a crustless cobbler which i did have a small amount of. but the 3 together put me over my personal tolerance for sugar which equals interrupted sleep. not exactly recooperative after Monday night's 3.5 hours.

as for 100 oz of liquid, i can't handle that much liquid. the long list of issues that causes sounds like the warning label for any kind of hormone treatment. plus edema. the obvious visible kind that you can see in a person whose clothes make indents in their arms and the bags under the eyes have bags. plus i am hung over from the caffeine.

and so for today ... i'm running on about half my cylinders. being sleepy makes me snacky ... which once upon a time i might have addressed by having more water or a soda ...

one of these days when i don't have 2 powerpoint presentations waiting for me i will explain the liquids thing.

for now, i guess one of the objectives for this year will be getting comfortable being uncomfortable. and that's not a bad thing. i would be in a completely different place right now if i hadn't used cigarettes, alcohol, candy and chips to self soothe at various times. so here's to life lessons and leveling up ... the hard way.

make yesterday jealous, friends.
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
today is sooooo much better!! :dance:the fog has cleared!! my hang over is gone!! I actually had some energy and focus!!

the snow today gave me an excuse to not go to the gym but it didn't keep me from working out.

BE Foundations W1/D3 Shoulders & Triceps
15 min on my elliptical (i'm pretty sure the distance on my elliptical isn't accurate so i went for time)
DB shoulder press & db kick backs, DB upright row, lateral raises & bench dips, DB front raises, DB tricep extensions & 40 in and outs
my dumbbells were a bit light and definitely light for the tricep extensions.

also EotD
End Game Workout
Hips and Glutes

about 1,600 kcal (20% carbs / 59% fats / 21% protein) calories are good. macros not as great - protein is low. while the kcal numbers are low, the carbs are mostly sugar. i am expecting that tonight's sleep will be disturbed - a fact that I didn't consider until after I ate the sugar. sometimes it takes time to overcome habits and mindlessness. one of the first steps for me in overcoming habits that don't work for me is realizing after the fact that i wasn't paying attention. i'll end up doing this a few times and then will start realizing while I"m making the mistake. finally, I will start thinking about it before I automatically grab the snack. i am certain that the additional factor of the night sweats will be motivating.

92 oz of liquid - nothing caffeinated today!! i actually am not certain this is low enough because I also had tomatoes and oranges today. I havent yet figured out how food impacts how much liquid I can have.
if you are still reading, settle in and grab the popcorn :noming:

since i am still trying to figure out what i can eat and drink and still feel good, days like today when i do are awesome!! i did have a little bit of a headache - prolly caffeine detox - but it didn't slow me down. i have figured out some of the rules. breads, pasta, heavy carbs put me to sleep. eating within 3 hours of trying to sleep is a bad idea. sugar is very bad. even some fruits, especially apples, will cause night sweats and sleep disturbances. snacking rather than eating a meal tends to end badly. good days are quality proteins, fresh vegetables, and good fats.

caffeine is bad, very bad. kick my a$$, shut me down, fall asleep at stop lights bad. did i mention that caffeine is bad? not when i have it but afterwards. everything revs up nicely when i am caffeinated and then i crash. hard. now add to this my "drinking problem" - which i used to joking explain as not enough hands. see i generally traveled through my day with 2 or 3 drinks. in the morning, coffee, water and soda; for the rest of the day, water and soda. and my water glass or soda bottle were never empty. its been a life long habit. when i was bar tending, i would have a 2-liter of soda and a pitcher of water with a straw in it. it was easier than always having an empty water glass. but now some part of my body just can't keep up.

when i drink too much water, i fill up like a water balloon. i tried to do the 75 Hard challenge. i couldn't do the water. i figured out that drinking 100 oz of water wasn't actually a problem - boring but not a problem - especially if i drank it at room temperature. and i gained 10 pounds in 2 days. just from the water. even my eyes were swollen. and i was exhausted. and since i had a lifetime habit of grabbing a something caffeinated when i was dragging a little bit, i made the problem worse. so much worse before i figured that out.

so far the blood work i've done is .. we'll say inconclusive. when i had electrolytes before the blood work, there were high levels of salt and magnesium in my results. when i was not recovering well after working out because i had too much water and was exhausted, the blood work looked like i was developing MS. after both of those, the subsequent test was normal.

from about Halloween through December, it all slowly rolled down hill. and that's the real problem. it sneaks up on me so i don't even realize how bad it is getting until i have night sweats that wake me 5 times in 4 hours, severe insomnia, edema, brain fog, pain and inflammation, weight gain, and extreme fatigue. like wake up, brush my teeth, sit at my computer to work and fall asleep only to wake up when my head hits the keyboard. you're right. it sounds like menopause. but apparently i am post menopausal. i skated through my actual menopause so lightly that i never even knew and now all the symptoms I didn't have then are ganging up on me.

and that's why i am counting how many ounces of liquid i consume. literally pouring things in a measuring cup to be certain (mostly because i discovered i was seriously underestimating how much i drink). i was feeling so awful that i finally concluded it is literally a matter of life or death.

so i am back here. in The Hive. where i know that there is no fat shaming or fit shaming. where somebody 6 months down the road might pop in and think it is strange that i can tell you exactly how many ounces of liquid i had in the day and not know how many calories but they will still celebrate my wins and offer me hugs when i am down. so thank you for having a space for me.

make yesterday jealous, friends.
 

Laura Rainbow Dragon

Well-known member
Bard from Canada
Posts: 1,619
"Striving to be the change."
i tried to do the 75 Hard challenge. i couldn't do the water.
4.5 L of water per day is a lot! Too much for most people. Everyone's needs are different, of course. But for reference: when I (female, 5'6", 150 lbs.) was playing roller derby and participating in pretty intense 2-hour practices, I drank ~ 4 litres of water per day during the summer when those 2 hour practices were outside in the sun and 30C heat conditions. During the winter, with the same amount of activity, I would only drink ~ 2 litres of water per day. If ever I sweat so much I felt the need to drink more than 4 litres of water in a day, I would take the extra as electrolyte beverages. I know people, however, who struggle to drink even 2 litres of water in a day. (I think they were trying to drink that on top of also drinking coffee and/or tea and soda pop, however. I don't drink any of those things. Just water and sometimes herbal tea--which I count as part of my water total when I have it since it's essentially nutritionally equivalent to drinking water.) For me, less than 2 litres of water per day is definitely too little and will make me feel mentally and physically tired.

I hope you will be able to figure out the optimal amount and composition of fluid intake for yourself soon. I think you are smart to be tracking and assessing your own results since there are so many factors at play, and trying to follow someone else's prescription can definitely throw you way off base.

:hug:
 

CODawn

Well-known member
Huntress from Colorado
Posts: 1,936
"Theres no easy way out. Theres no shortcut home"
:hug:
Our bodies are so weird (and congratulations on skating through menopause I am not!). I have most but not all of those symptoms along with skin issues and I blame it all on hormones. Anyway, it's hard to find the right balance with fluids. I drink too little and I have a headache, too much and I am in the bathroom all day. Hopefully we can figure this out.
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
hihihi

i almost skipped out on myself today but then I saw a short work out video from a woman who lost more than 100 pounds. and i didn't make it to the gym but I did manage to get up and move a bit.

EotD - 2 min Arm Scissors
Charge Up L3
I am Enough L3
Carnage L1

the most automatic things that i can do must be done in the morning. before i have time to make excuses or get distracted or start thinking about work. this morning i started thinking about work instead of the gym and then i didn't make it to the gym. like i said, my excuses almost won today but fortunately got the right motivation. eventually, i will build the discipline muscle again.

if we consider the adage "how we do one thing is how we do all things" and my near in ability to exercise today then you will understand when i say that it wasnt exactly a good food day either. I think the saving grace for food was that breakfast was on track and i did have some real food with my snacks.
about 1800 kcal (25% carb/53% fat/22%protein) not happy with the macros. i will be hungry early tomorrow because protein is low

now it is getting late and i am getting tired. so i think i'll go to bed and tomorrow I have another chance to get to the gym. tomorrow is back & hamstrings.

make yesterday jealous, friends.
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
Wow. Definitely need to figure out some routine consistency. 2 months. Fortunately it hasn't been 2 months since I've worked out.

The very foundation of all my struggles is structure and routine. When I worked out of an office, my day revolved around the time I needed to leave for work and the time I would get home. Now, everything is fluid and that is as horrible as it is wonderful. I am fascinated by people who naturally live according to a structured routine. I'm more than certain it is a learned skill and I am working at learning it. It just doesn't come very naturally to me.

Still working on figuring out what does and does not create issues for me. I've identified a few dietary things that I need to change, like increasing carbs a bit to improve electrolyte retention. Since I do not have heart issues I've used electrolyte drinks in the past to keep my blood pressure from dropping. I have learned that my kidney does not appreciate the the electrolyte drinks. This small change has lead to improved energy, better sleep, fewer extreme hormonal fluctuations, and no more severe leg cramps. You are right; it would seem logical to seek out a doctor to assist me in figuring this out. Unfortunately when I did, the answer I got was something like, you shouldn't be having these kind of hormonal fluctuations because you are post-menopausal. And that was fabulous information but it didn't stop the night sweats or other symptoms that were getting worse.

I will keep this short today in favor of checking in with you, my friends.

Make yesterday jealous.
 
Last edited:

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
Woot! 2 days in a row!! :move:

Worked out in the morning (EotD, Warrior Abs #23, Foundation Light D1 L3, Feeling Bold Today L2) and walked the dog in the evening. I wanted to walk the dog at lunch but had an appointment. Still working on building movement into the day and not just the mornings.

Also doing the Hug Challenge (D2) and No Sugar (D1). The No Sugar thing is kickin' my assets today. I have traveled twice in the last month for work training and the place where I stayed had too much food and too many snacks and I was too undisciplined. The first time around it caused health issues that I was still trying to figure out when I packed for the 2nd trip. I did much better on the 2nd trip. And now that I'm home, I kinda miss having an open buffet every day with all the fixings for salad laid out and ready, roasted veggies, and fruit with homemade whipped cream. And just enough cookies to make sure that I came home with an aching sweet tooth.

I am working on how to apply the structure and routine to eating also. It is easier to snack than make meals. I need to identify some things to keep on hand that I can throw together quickly, or have prepped to just heat/warm up. Otherwise I just snack all day and that means I never quite feel like it is time to stop eating.

Make yesterday jealous, friends.
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
Thank you @Tileenah Celebrating the small wins is pretty important.

I am here for day 3. :move:
In the morning, Foundation Lite D2L3, EotD Twist Lunges, and Warrior Abs D24.
Hug Challenge D3 & No Sugar D2 <- still kicking my ...
Walked the dog after dinner
And a little bit of time at the gym for the rowing machine, the stair climber, and the sauna.

Still need to work on getting up and moving in the middle of the day also. There's no reason for me not to do it. I just need to stop saying things like, I'll get up after I finish this ... or I need to send an email and then I can ... There are plenty of workouts that I can do in 10 minutes or less. And there are push-ups, burpees, lunges, squats, and kettlebells ... so many options for short bursts of movements energize my day. I guess that is tomorrow's win.


Had a bit of an energy lull in the afternoon. That would have been the perfect time to get up out of my chair and do some butt kicks or high knees ... I guess that will be a win for another day.

Make yesterday jealous, friends.
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
And my streaks are broken. Even my meditation streak and that one was 250 days!!

I was still trying to figure out some health stuff and then there was a new thing that created some fear and some insecurity which meant that when I showed up I lacked confidence. The feedback reflected it. Then there was an emotional response, some imposter syndrome, and some jelly beans. Too many jelly beans.

And now, 4 days later I am still in pain from the sugar overdose. But today when I went to the grocery store, the jelly beans had no appeal. They were just a thing that was there that was not on my list. Unfortunately there is still a lot and I am learning that I still don't have good coping mechanisms. I am not as self-destructive as I was when I was younger so that's a step in the right direction. And some days I think I actually get it right. And then like today I look in the mirror and wonder how the person I see is living my life because that person doesn't deserve my life, that person doesn't look like me. That person looks depressed and sad and uninteresting. Unkempt and undone. Sloppy. Frumpy. And sweaty and gross.

There's a lot going on. Not more than you are dealing with but maybe not less either. Life is just life-y like this sometimes.

As certain as I am that I know what needs to be done, I also know that I am absolutely clueless. I've never successfully done this before. I do know that there are some basic principals that I need to stay aligned to: Eat real food but not too much (I struggle with both parts of that). Get up and move (I struggle with this too; I'm lazy some days more than others.) Pet the cat and play with the dog (I'm not a cat person but she chose me and the dog wants me to chase him which I find annoying.) Declutter - the house, the mind and the soul (I'm not hoarder but there are still blank pages in those 400 notebooks stored in the closet because I may need them someday). Do not do the things that do not work (5 hours of FreeCell while watching mindless TV anybody? ). Do the things that bring me joy (I've forgotten what those things are).

It's all about the food. The wrong foods are quick and easy; handy requiring little or no prep. They are also unsatisfying, leaving me hungry even if I've eaten so much I feel sick. And then the next day I am wiped out, depressed, and lethargic. I usually feel gross and cranky; the kind of grumpy where I don't even want to be around myself.

By contrast when I eat good food, real food, I start to know what it would be like to feel good again. To jump out of bed and have energy. To not hurt. To chase the dog and laugh while doing it because he is cute and sounds like a gremlin when I play with him. To snuggle the cat and be soothed/comforted by her purring. To dance because that's fun. To stand in the sun because it feels good.

But then I am again alone and tired because even when I think I've done everything right, sometimes something is still off. And it is so much efforting. It's not hard but why can't it for just a minute be easy? And that's when the streak breaks because I want to feel better so ... food. It is certainly better than cigarettes or alcohol! But it's not, not really. It's as or more addictive and there are no warning labels. In fact the opposite. "They" spend big money to tell us how/what to eat but not the good food. Not the real food.

And then I am again feeling crappy and cranky. But I'm not starting over because I didn't quit. I haven't given up. I just still haven't gotten it right. So starting again. And celebrating even the small wins and building momentum and searching for joy. And dancing, especially in the rain. And remembering that I will find what I search for. So if I forget and search for all the hard things, if I search for all the obstacles, if I search for and create excuses, I will find them. If I search for solutions, and sunshine, and friends, I will find those things also.

Thank you, friends, for being here for me to find.

Make yesterday jealous.

oh yeah: EotD Sumo Squats, Adventurer Workout L1 & walked the dog.
 

TopNotch

Well-known member
Ranger from Australia
Posts: 1,610
"Motivation is temporary. Discipline is forever."
It is said that we are our own greatest critics. Would you be as critical of your best friend as you are of yourself? Would you tell your best friend, someone whom you love, that she or he is sloppy or gross? Try to be your own best friend. And start with the little stuff. The really little stuff. When you look in the mirror, what is it exactly that you really want to see? Move towards that. Millimetre by millimetre.

Healthy food (says someone who hardly eats any!) doesn't have to be slow and difficult. I have a lovely chickpea salad that, as it contains no leafy greens, can sit in the fridge for days until all eaten up. I'm fairly sure that's not the only easy and healthy thing in the world. If you're on your own, it can be difficult to cook good meals. I used to make a big batch of something on the weekend and freeze it to eat during the week. Finally I bought a freezer so I didn't have to eat the same thing every day and then I cooked a couple of different dishes! Right now, I find having a loaf of tasty bread on hand (for me, wholemeal sourdough) and peanut butter means I can satisfy my hunger and my taste for something yummy, and bread and pb isn't too bad.

Don't forget that sometimes, when you're searching for something, you can become blind to the things that you just happen upon. When I'm doing a jigsaw puzzle, I start by finding all the edge pieces. Once that's done, I focus on the next bit, even if there is an edge piece still missing. And you know, I miss that edge piece because I'm now looking for all the blue pieces. Only when I stop looking for something specific, will I find that edge piece. By all means, search for obstacles, find them - then bend your mind to overcoming them, so that if you come across them again, you know what to do. Create your excuses - and recognise them for lies. Search for the hard things - and do them and feel accomplished and capable.

Nobody needs to tell us to eat badly, yet we do that. Nobody needs to tell us to laze on the sofa and watch NetFlix, yet we do that. Nobody needs to tell us not to be active, so we just buy a larger size in clothes. We already do what nobody needs to tell us. Why do we feel that we need to wait for someone to tell us to love ourselves, to care for ourselves, to make ourselves healthy and happy?

It sounds to me as though all this is in you already. You know what you want to do, you know what makes you feel good. Now go and do it. Celebrate those tiny little wins, because a win is a win, no matter how small. And bitch and moan to us when you find it hard because that's what we're here for. To listen, and to kick you back up onto that horse. :)
 

Tileenah

Well-known member
Warrior from France
Posts: 1,957
:hug: i've been there too often to give you any piece of advice that you don't already know. My first very small step towards remission was not emptying a jar of chocolate and hazelnut pasta. I left only a spoon of it in the jar and it sat in the cupboard, uneaten, for weeks. That's when I knew I was on track to a more regular life. I still had eaten the entire rest of the jar with a spoon and in one go ! But I could have something I wanted to binge in my cupboard and forget about it. And working out helps, because I would never hate myself as much if I had worked out, even a little bit, during my day. Even knowing that there has been tons of days since in which I binged and didn't work out 😅
One step at a time, and one day after the other, as slow as the pace of everyday life...
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
@TopNotch so very true. most days when i look in the mirror i remember that I am a work in progress. other days my inner bitch is hyper critical, especially on days when i don't feel good and it is a result of bad choices.

@Tileenah it's odd for me. sometimes i can have a binge food in the house and portion it out and be absolutely fine with it a serving at a time. or have it in the freezer for a long time and have enough to satisfy the crave and then go on with my day. other days anything that isn't nailed down is fair game. being tired always means being a mindless choice away from an entire jellybean display because i'm looking for the sugar rush. i never get one but somewhere is the knowledge I'm supposed to so i keep trying. like a gambler certain that Lady Luck will favor the next hand.

today was better and also not. it was good that i had no binge foods in the house because i was exhausted all day. i don't know if it was sugar detox and/or something else but it was the kind of exhaustion that sleep doesn't alleviate. i still feel it. it certainly wasn't helped by the fact that i woke at 3 am and couldn't go back to sleep. breakfast was a zucchini casserole and some crockpot salsa chicken. and then some popcorn for lunch. then a salad, more chicken and fresh mozzarella and tomato slices. a few times i found myself wandering to the kitchen looking for a snack to keep me awake ... hence the popcorn for lunch.

I cut myself a break and took a nap and was just as tired afterwards. walking the dog in the evening helped a little. the air was brisk so i was a little bit revived. at the moment it feels like tomorrow will be more normal for energy levels and that will be a blessing. negative energy days are awful.

fortunately I have identified and eliminated some things that will rob me of energy. this was the first time in a long while.

today; EotD (Reverse Angels), Warrior Abs #26, Foundation Lite D4 L3, and Hug D2.

good night my friends. make yesterday jealous.
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
@BlackButler I actually rarely drink caffeine. for awhile I thought that caffeine was a factor on the extreme energy drain days. so now once in awhile I will have a large iced glass of black tea mixed with green tea but it is maybe 1x per week. my coffee is decaf. other than that it is usu sparkling water or flat water.
 
Last edited:

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
today was indeed a better day. not optimum energy but still a good day. whatever it was that kicked my butt usu takes a few days to work itself out of my system. i have every reason to believe it was the sugar. it even effects my eye sight.

spent some time today working on mindset. i'll be working to carry that with me going forward.

this morning i did EotD (Scorpion Twists), glute bridges, and clam shells. the object was to work on glute activation. it didn't work. i will have to try some other glute activating exercises. i sit way to much and i need to do something about that.

this evening i did Warrior Abs #27, Foundation Light D5 L3, and Storm Princess L2.

good night friends. make yesterday jealous.
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
hihihi -

I'm here. Still and again.

Friday: EotD (Toe Tap Hops) & cardio at the gym
Saturday: Foundation Light D6 L3 & Warrior Abs D28
Sunday: Walked the dog
Today: Foundation Light D7 L3, Warrior Abs D29, EotD (40 Plank Jacks - i had to break them up), My Grumpy Workout L2, walked the dog

Today looked a little more like what I'm shooting for. I exercised in the morning, then some more exercise while I was on a call, and then walked the dog in the evening. My objective is to not sit for hours at a time. It happens organically in an office environment. In my home office, there are no stairs to take, and walking from my desk to the microwave isn't even enough steps for my tracker to count.

My daughter's gift to me at Christmas was 13 boxes with reading prompts. I've read White Fang (an animal protagonist), Animal Farm (a classic), and Katie Couric's biography Going There (more than 30 chapters). This month's prompt was a random book selected by intuition or just a feeling. She said she envisioned me walking through a book store and just picking something off the shelf. That didn't happen. And nothing jumped up in Prime Books or Audible that felt unresearched. Then I had a dream and in my dream was a book called Becoming Limitless. I checked and there is a book by that title on Amazon. The cover didn't look anything like my dream but I told her about the dream and we decided that's pretty close to picking a book just based on a feeling. It's a short book, only 97 pages. The first chapter is on the Keto Diet, so I am already bored with the book. I can't keto; reduced carbs without electrolytes means cramping and "keto flu." And my kidney does not like electrolyte drinks. So much salt and that is too bad because I love LMNT electrolyte drinks. I'll let you know what other suggestions come up for being limitless.

Make yesterday jealous, friends.
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
I'm here. Still and again. Barely but held on. I should track streaks.

Monday - Foundation Lite D7 L3, Warrior Abs D29, EotD 40 Plank Jacks, My Grumpy Workout L2
Tuesday - Walked the dog
Today - EotD 50 Calf Raises, Warrior Abs D30, Foundation Lite D8 L3, Start Here L2.

Tuesday was a very bad, no good, rotten kinda day. I woke up at 6:38a with the panicked realization that there was something I had forgotten to get covered so I was going to have to do it myself. It was supposed to start at 9 which meant I'd need to be there by 8:30 and the drive for me was going to be an hour and a half; 75 minutes if traffic didn't get stupid. I got dressed, grabbed my personal laptop and my work laptop, power cords, phone, headphones, all the things, fed the dog & cat, let the kids know why I was running out of the house with my hair on fire and hit the road in time to get there according to my GPS app by 8:39 - which meant later than I wanted but in plenty of time.

I had everything I needed for my 8a call which I took while I was driving and everything was good until there was an accident that added 25 minutes to my drive. So now I'm trying to call the school where the event is taking place and nobody knows what I'm talking about. So I try the people in my organization who set up the tour, and they aren't getting back to me. Then I try the school again and get bounced around between different offices there. And I keep trying and nobody knows whats going on but I keep trying until 20 after before I give up. I even pulled over to the side of the road and opened up my personal laptop to see if there was information on the website that I was forgetting but my laptop wouldn't boot up, which I thought was weird but figured maybe the battery drained.

I found out later that the tour went off without a hitch so the people that needed to know what was going on did and that was a very good thing. When I gave up, I went to the office to work from there. I did not feel office or client ready so guess what? Yup. Client meetings in all the conference rooms. I found an office in the corner and stayed out of the main walkways.

I went to plug in my work laptop and was missing a cable (still can't find it) and went to plug in my personal laptop and it still didn't boot up. Double checked the power cord and nope, nothing. Not a blue screen, not even a blinky light on the power button. About this time I realized I was getting a cold sore on my upper lip and I had nothing with me to treat it. Considering my level of stress at that point, I was pretty sure the blisters would cover half my face before the end of the day.

If that level of fun wasn't enough, I was fatigued and brain fogged all day and felt barely functional. Definitely not going to be a favorite day. By noon I was finished with all the mandatory work things so I packed it in. Before driving home I discovered that as bonus I had broken my sunglasses. Got home and starting overdosing on Vitamin C & Lysine to kill the cold sore. It was already blistered enough that it was definitely going to scab but I did stop the spread. I wasn't feeling it but decided it wasn't the dog's fault, so we went for a walk anyway. Not the ideal time but I even managed to meditate before I went to bed.

What a day. There were bright spots: I didn't get a speeding ticket; the tours went off without a hitch; I discovered that I did have a viable backup of my system and so far I think I've recovered everything except my Firefox bookmarks. And a few random people did nice things for me. I think that the brain fog made it so that I couldn't turn the day around but because there were plenty of nice things it was only a bad day.

And today was better. And tomorrow I am going to get up and go to the gym before I start the rest of my day. I promise to tell you all about how wonderful tomorrow is. In the meantime

Make yesterday jealous, friends.
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
hihihi - Still here. Still going.

Thursday: Walked the dog
Friday: EotD 50 Balance Front Kicks, Foundation Light D9 L3, I Was Promised Cookies L1
Saturday: cardio bunny things at the gym, EotD 2 min Jumping Jacks, Leg Day Every Day D1, Foundation Light D10 L3
Sunday: Walked the dog, Leg Day Every Day D2

12 consecutive days of 20 minutes minimum exercise

a few realizations this week:

1) I have bad emotional days when I eat badly. As I understand it, the first cell(s) of the embryo create the brain. The first division of the brain cell(s) create the stomach. This creates a direct link between the stomach and the brain. I see this in my daughter who has celiac on days when she has been poisoned (yes, poisoned) by gluten (even small amounts like cross contamination) and she is depressed by nearly everything. And I feel it myself when I eat things that make me physically feel weak, fatigued or just un-nourished. The tongue might be happy because of the scientifically calculated ratio of fat/salt/sugar, but the brain and body are still starving for actual nourishment. As a result, my mindset is as weak and fatigued as my body. Those are the days that I get stuck in pity party mode.

2) I am a weird mix of skepticism and absolute faith and it is very dependent on presentation. I have been listening to a course on non-verbal communication and it includes the evolutionary roots of some of our human evaluations of attractiveness and beauty. Somehow listening to it I keep forgetting about how very different things are right now. And I seem to be judging myself against evolutionary standards that really don't apply. Pretty bad day when you are comparing yourself to who you might have been 5,000 years ago and feel like you are falling short. (And yes, diet was a factor).

3) Sometime mindfulness comes after the habit. You know the moment when you take that last bite and then realize you didn't really want to eat that. It's painful but also part of the process for me. Eventually I'll remember sooner. And sometimes I remember before. Those are better days. And I celebrate that there are more of them than habit first days.

It's still early so I may get some more movement in today but for now I have other things to do.

Make yesterday jealous friends.
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
hihihi -

I'm tired. Still trying to figure out what works and what doesn't. I'm doing better at not sitting all day but have not yet worked it out to a schedule. And still working on how to maximize my energy. Or at least not eat in such a way as to not be constantly drained.

Monday: EotD 5 min punches, Leg Day Every Day D3, Foundation Lite D11 L3, Slowpoke L1, Push Pull Strengthener
Tuesday: EotD 60 sec Single Leg Hop, Leg Day Every Day D4, Foundation Light D12 L3, Just Keep Swimming L1, 2 x 20 Squats, 3 x 8 20lb KB Sumo Squats w Pulses
Today: EotD 40 Situp Elbow Strikes, Leg Day Every Day D5, Foundation Light D13 L3, Bring It On L1

15 consecutive days of a minimum of 20 minutes exercise

Make yesterday jealous, friends.
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
hihihi -

I'm still at it. Day 16: Stair machine at the gym, Leg Day Every Day D6, EotD 2 x 15 Squat Jumps, Foundation Light D14 L3,
and my tribute work-out was Amazon L1

we have a new foster cat. she is a senior cat on heart meds. when I said yes, I told my daughter that she would have to make an adjustment to her visits with her dad. i told her that she would have to act as if the cat was hers meaning that she would have to have coverage for when she wasn't there. you know, to feed it and give it the meds. and instead she is at her father's house and yes i'm annoyed about the cat. but worse than the cat is that she will come back from her dad's house sick again because he doesn't keep his house gluten free.

*sigh* it's hard not screaming and yelling at him about poisoning her. it's hard not screaming and yelling about having to repeatedly spend a bunch of money to fix her up. its hard not to be upset with her for not prioritizing her health over making him feel ok. but i don't scream, yell, or express my frustration to her or him because i get it. he's her dad. but if she gets stomach cancer, and he is still alive, i just might kill him. here's to hoping when we get her service dog she is able to avoid gluten and heal. we just have to make it to November.

make yesterday jealous, friends.
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
hihihi -

Still here and still at it. Yesterday was Day 22 of minimum of 15 consecutive minutes of exercise. Some days it is just walking the dog but it counts on my tracker so I am also counting it.

I have completed Leg Day Every Day up to Day 12 & Foundation Light at Level 3 up to Day 17. Workouts today are still to come.

I used very bad sleep as an excuse to not go to the gym this morning so now I have the whole day to create new opportunities to get my workout in. I will one of these days remember to remember at 5a that even with bad sleep I have a better day after I gym.

Today's dilemma: putting myself first. For the majority of my company, jobs are project based. I currently sit in a space where I am not project based. A senior manager that I have worked with before and that I really like working with reached out about a project opportunity that sounds interesting but it ends in December. That would mean I need a new project for next year or have to do so well that the client finds a way to keep me there. It's a stretch, something I've never done before and kinda exciting. And for my current day-to-day, I am playing sit-N-spin, doing diddly squat. I am frustrated and hating it. I am supposed to be helping with some contract stuff but the manager there can't find time to figure out what work I can do and then teach me how to do it.

And isn't it crazy how taking a minute to put things in writing can bring some clarity? I really did have it in my head that I needed to be loyal to the people who don't have work for me. Okay so the actual clarity is that I need to ask some more questions. And that is definitely something that I can do.
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
thank you @Tileenah there are still some things to work out but as long as i am putting my career over my job, i will get it figured out

and while it doesn't stack up to all that y'all do, I did walk the dog, Leg Day Every Day D13, and Foundation Light D18 L3.

make yesterday jealous, my friends.
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
hihihi all -

Some days it feels like the hits just keep coming doesn't it? I know it will turn around. Nothing lasts forever, not the bad days or the good days. But when you are in the thick of it, it sure is easy to worry that the light at the end of the tunnel is probably a train.

That said, still at it. Day 25 of my streak.

4/14
Gym for cardio (stair machine and elliptical)
Leg Day Every Day D14
EotD glute extensions
Foundation Light D19 L3

Today
Routine that was squat holds with military presses, squat holds with curls, push-ups, jump sequence, 4 rounds
Foundation Light D20 L3 - this made a great cool down
Leg Day Every Day D15
EotD W Extensions - not in 1 go ...
Walked the dog

Make yesterday jealous, friends.
 
Last edited:

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
I did not lose my streak! It meant exercising way later than I should have because what I did early in the day did not meet my personal 15 minute target but I got it done.

Today
Foundation Light D21 L3
Leg Day Every Day D16
EotD 60 sec of ... I did bicycles ... that's not really what it shows but imma count it
Elliptical for 20 minutes

And after I got my 20 minutes on my elliptical, I looked at my tracker and then decided to do punches and twists and step jacks because the tracker said i didn't meet my movement goal. So I did that too. And now its bedtime and I'm sweaty. Good night friends.

Make yesterday jealous.
 
Top