The Forever Journey

Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
Thank you for the birthday wishes!

Never shared pics of my face or full body in here due to fear. I was afraid of how ye Darebeers would see me, but more than that, I was also afraid of someone I know irl somehow coming across this and seeing how much I weigh and all that. I'm happy to report that I am not as insecure in how I look as I used to be, so I will go ahead and share photos of my face+body.

I only have two body pics for now. Wish I had one from my highest weight!

6/3/22 (weight: roughly 278)
IMG-20220527-191444.jpg


1/4/23 (weight: 264)
IMG_20230104_055122934.jpg
 
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OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 596
You got it, girlfriend! keep makin' the rockin' world go round! I'm proud of you!
 

lofivelcro

Well-known member
Hunter from the sticks
Posts: 593
"Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today"
Happy Belated Birthday and congrats on reaching your goal!
You're doing great!
Is there a cat in the back on the second photo?
 

Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
You got it, girlfriend! keep makin' the rockin' world go round! I'm proud of you!

I'll do what I can! :ss:

Nothing to feared of my friend! Show your colours!

I appreciate that :)

Happy Belated Birthday and congrats on reaching your goal!
You're doing great!
Is there a cat in the back on the second photo?

Yep, that's my cat Skippy! He's a big fluffy boii.



• Aos - Day 18 complete!
• Hiking - 6 miles (twas originally 5.5, but I lost ma hat and had to go back to find it. Thank goodness it was only a quarter mile down the trail!)

Weight: 258.8 - OW, that's a painful weight fluctuation. Guessing it's partially because of that time of the month :mad:

SO happy I walked 6 miles today. So glad I exercised so much in Nebraska and raised my activity level! My #1 goal since I started enjoying hiking (even before joining Darebee) was to walk 8 miles in one go. I'm almost there now!
 

Froud

Well-known member
Warrior Monk from Brussels
Posts: 905
I'll do what I can! :ss:



I appreciate that :)



Yep, that's my cat Skippy! He's a big fluffy boii.



• Aos - Day 18 complete!
• Hiking - 6 miles (twas originally 5.5, but I lost ma hat and had to go back to find it. Thank goodness it was only a quarter mile down the trail!)

Weight: 258.8 - OW, that's a painful weight fluctuation. Guessing it's partially because of that time of the month :mad:

SO happy I walked 6 miles today. So glad I exercised so much in Nebraska and raised my activity level! My #1 goal since I started enjoying hiking (even before joining Darebee) was to walk 8 miles in one go. I'm almost there now!
Do you measure your weight daily? It can be frustrating, I got rid of that.
If you do, measure it once a week, it might be more rewarding as the body weight can fluctuate with many variables.
 

Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
Do you measure your weight daily? It can be frustrating, I got rid of that.
If you do, measure it once a week, it might be more rewarding as the body weight can fluctuate with many variables.

I measure it daily for 2 reasons:
Fake reason - It's interesting to see how it fluctuates day by day
Real reason - I find it difficult not to, the scale is just right there, and on some occasions I'll check my weight 5 times a day just to see how it's gone up or down after eating or going to the restroom

I'm really not that upset about the weight fluctuations. Back when I first lost weight in September 2018 - November 2019, I measured daily and it worked alright. It also is working out fine now, so I don't feel like I need to change it. My comments of frustration and the mad emoji are lighthearted, though I know that's very difficult to tell in text :)

I appreciate the help though! :heart:
 

Froud

Well-known member
Warrior Monk from Brussels
Posts: 905
I measure it daily for 2 reasons:
Fake reason - It's interesting to see how it fluctuates day by day
Real reason - I find it difficult not to, the scale is just right there, and on some occasions I'll check my weight 5 times a day just to see how it's gone up or down after eating or going to the restroom

I'm really not that upset about the weight fluctuations. Back when I first lost weight in September 2018 - November 2019, I measured daily and it worked alright. It also is working out fine now, so I don't feel like I need to change it. My comments of frustration and the mad emoji are lighthearted, though I know that's very difficult to tell in text :)

I appreciate the help though! :heart:
I understand your point of view!
And I am glad you are very positive towards your daily measurements. :D
My scale is right in my bathroom, ready to help, but it has been weeks since I used it.

Have a blessed day!
 

Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
• AoS - Day 19 complete! (lvl 3, but took a 5-minute rest in-between sets 3&4)
• 2-mile hike
• Dumbbell shoulder presses (at least that's what I think they're called) (10x3, 10x2, 12x3, 12x4)

Weight: 258.4
 
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Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
I felt like I was buzzing after my hike today, in a good way. I was disappointed to only do two miles - my back started to hurt when I was driving to the trail, and I didn't have any ibuprofen with me. Threw up on the hike about 8 times. Back and shoulders felt really stiff and I felt very out of breath and my heart was pounding even just a couple of steps into the hike. I could actually feel it in my head, and it felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest. Had to cut the hike very short.

But I still felt very good about getting out and hiking so much. Very glad that I can now do two miles when my pain acts up instead of less than a mile or however much I could when I had these attacks during hikes before. Really got to remind myself to put my ibuprofen back in my backpack.
I had almost no pain in Nebraska. I think I have such bad pain now because of the desk and chair I have in my room at home. I wish I could afford to get better furniture that doesn't screw up my back...Bleh.

The ibuprofen has kicked in now, and I've got a glass of wine. I feel so energized and like I can take on the world (I was thinking this before I got a glass of wine, mind you!)
I've ALWAYS been obese, even as a kid, but obese little me still tended to have more energy than my fit classmates. I remember a couple of instances where I would run in front of my friends (I rarely ever felt like running), but my friends who were skinny and fit were shocked by my speed. I've gotten to that point in hiking and fitness where I am able to get some of that back. I feel like I'm superman when I speed through the rocky obstacles of the trails. I find it so much fun to to bounce around like a rabbit!

I feel like my body is the type that is "meant" for exercise? Or maybe just speed specifically? I feel like I can unlock SO many great superpowers once I become more fit and lose more weight! It may be a mental thing too, I have ADHD, so if there's ever a way for me to release my energy, that pleases my ADHD very much, lol. Also, you know the pacer test in schools? You run to one side, it beeps, then you run to the other side? In 5th grade, I actually finished that pacer test despite being seen as the "least fit" (and definitely the most overweight) kid in the class. Only two other kids finished it, and they were both guys who participated in sports and always did great in P.E. That was an awesome day for me. I just need to utilize my natural physical energy!
 

Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
Oh my goshhh. It's only 11 in the morning and I already can barely move my arms or legs. I may have gone a little too hard today for my fitness level, but...

• AoS - Day 20 complete (first time doing day 20 without taking extra rest or dropping arms)
• Calf raises (12x4)
• Shoulder press (12x3)

At the gym:
• Treadmill - 2 miles (1 hour!)
• Some...chest + arm exercise...thing. (12x4)
• Climbing stairs - 12[+?] flights (10 minutes)

Everything is jello now; I don't think there's gonna be any walking or hiking in store for me tomorrow XD

Why were there this many people at the gym at 10am on a Wednesday?!
IMG_20230111_100304107.png


Weight: 259.8 do I have heart failure, is that what's happening- I've eaten less than 2,000 calories a day for over a week now and I've been exercising so much - now I'm finally starting to panic! The weight fluctuations were never this nonsensical when I was daily checking my weight back in 2018-2019. REALLY hope it's just bloating from my period and that it'll all come out once I'm over it???? America explain
 
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OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 596
Your fluctuations may be because of your calorie deficiency... As you improve physically, your body usually demands more calories, but you're not feeding that demand. So, "self-preservation mode" is happening, and your body's freaking out and doesn't know what to make of it... Menstruation doesn't help... However, fluctuations are also why it is advised to only weigh yourself once a week. One thing's certain, though: Your body's changing. So, the way you fluctuate daily may change as well.... KEEP IN MIND that I'm not a professional, and I am only speaking based on my own limited understanding.
 

Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
Your fluctuations may be because of your calorie deficiency... As you improve physically, your body usually demands more calories, but you're not feeding that demand. So, "self-preservation mode" is happening, and your body's freaking out and doesn't know what to make of it... Menstruation doesn't help... However, fluctuations are also why it is advised to only weigh yourself once a week. One thing's certain, though: Your body's changing. So, the way you fluctuate daily may change as well.... KEEP IN MIND that I'm not a professional, and I am only speaking based on my own limited understanding.

Forgot about the self-preservation thing. In 2018/2019 I didn't exercise much, about 30-45 minutes of walking a week. So I guess my body is muy surprised by this sudden activity level. Makes sense that my fluctuations are so different this time around given that my exercising is so different.

Luckily, I happen to have a doctor appointment tomorrow, so she can have me assured on the little heart failure worry. My legs are so swollen with water weight like balloons about ready to pop!
:sweetcheeks:
 

HellYeah

Well-known member
Posts: 1,018
"On the Run!"
I am on the scale every day, cause for me it makes fluctuations more acceptable. I also take an average during the week, so one day does not really matter that much, in the end.
Weekly weight-ins did not work for me. If I "caught" a "bad" weight, it had much more impact, cause it was the only one in 13 days, practicaly.
Everyone is different and has different experiences, the only thing that works, is the one that works for you.
 

Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
Weekly weight-ins did not work for me. If I "caught" a "bad" weight, it had much more impact, cause it was the only one in 13 days, practicaly.
Everyone is different and has different experiences, the only thing that works, is the one that works for you.

That's how it is for me! Seeing the weight go up a pound in one day is fine, but seeing it go up a pound a week later breaks my heart!
Yeah, I feel the same as @HellYeah. If you do daily weigh ins and calculate the weekly average, you get a much better feel than doing weekly weigh ins and catching the single one bad day of the week.

The app "libra" does that for me (well, sort of). I like looking at the graph and seeing my gradual trend downward despite some bad moments.

Screenshot-20230111-164814.png

Love your high-energy stories, btw

I'm glad to hear that! Sometimes I feel like I ramble on too much in here, but it feels therapeutic just to be able to write my thoughts out haha.
 

Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
Oi, so the "chest thing" I did yesterday was chest presses. I'm certainly feeling them aches now. Wasn't expecting this because it didn't seem that hard when I was doing it. Very interesting!
I talked about my weight to my doctor and mentioned "heart failure" and she actually laughed at that. Lmao. I guess I am still too on edge day by day!

• AoS - Day 21 complete!
Hug Challenge - Day 1 complete! (Thanks to @AnnieW for the inspiration)
1-Minute Meditation - Day 1 complete!

Weight: 257
 
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OJJJEM

Well-known member
Mother of Dragons Posts: 596
So, I have no heart issues, but women generally feel a heart attack coming on in their neck and jaw rather than their arm and shoulder. When that happens, look at your lips and fingernails for paleness/blueness... if you're experiencing chest pain that knocks the wind out of you while all of this is going on, you're probably having a heart attack.
 

Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
I guess I'm addicted to exercise now? I went so hard on the treadmill that I started to feel faint. Got my heartrate up to 185 and stayed there for a minute. Booya. I always did rounding for miles on my hikes, but I'm going to be accurate on my treadmill miles to see how much I've improved. My hikes already aren't accurate anyway as the Google fit app keeps saying you're walking when you're taking a break/sitting down. So when I did 6 miles the other day, I think it was closer to 5.

My back was killing me at the gym because YET AGAIN I was stupid and forgot to take my ibuprofen first. I'm pretty sure that also made my heartrate go higher than normal (as always seems to happen during an episode). I'm heading out to the store to get a second bottle to keep in my car after I post this message. Man I feel so sick right now. I feel like I exercised without eating anything first, but in fact I did eat and drink water before going to the gym :(

• Treadmill - 2.17 miles (1hr)
• Stair machine - 12(?) flights (13 minutes)
• Chest presses - 12x4 ((I don't think I'm doing these right...but I am too scared to ask anyone at the gym for help lol...I watched a video about it but it's too difficult to understand from a video)) [15 pounds]
• AoS - Day 22 complete

Weight: 259.2 I will scream. I'm going to increase my calories to 2300-2500/day for a couple days and see if that helps. Get my body out of starvation mode?
 
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Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
I feel sooo good physically. Well, on the treadmill today, my legs hurt a lot from how hard I went yesterday, so I only did 30 minutes instead of an hour. But then I walked to the liquor store instead of driving to it. Then immediately did my AoS for the day. Now I feel like I'm buzzing! I'm so pumped. My physical abilities are improving so fast, I think I might actually start running by the end of the year?! (I'm physically able to run, technically, but only for about 5 seconds before it gets tiring lol.) I got my heart rate up to 190 today, but I felt really weird when that happened, so I slowed down immediately.

• AoS - Day 23 complete!
• Treadmill - 1.17 miles (30 minutes)
• Additional walking - 1 mile
• Stair machine - [?] flights (8 minutes) - it was very painful today, lol

I forgot about these two yesterday, so I'll just restart from day one:
• Hug challenge - Day 1 complete!
• One-minute meditation - Day 1 complete!

Weight: 259.3 - Some Google "researching" has told me to not freak out about this until 3 weeks after starting new exercise, so I will wait two more weeks before resuming freaking out.
 

Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
So sick this morning and keep throwing up, bleh. At least I already dedicated today as a 'rest day" so I don't need to worry about this sickness interfering with hiking or going to the gym!

• AoS - Day 24 complete!
• Hug challenge - Day 2 complete!
• One-minute meditation - Day 2 complete!

Weight: 259.1
 

Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
• AoS - Day 26 complete
• Hug challenge - Day 3 complete
• Meditation - Day 3 complete

Weight: 256.4 - They key this whole time...was to stop doing cardio! Haha I doubt it's a coincidence that it finally started to go down again after several rest days in a row. But I know it's just water weight fluctuations, so I'm not actually going to stop doing cardio XD

Today is the first day of my return to college. Came so much sooner than I was expecting. I'm already sad that I'm not going to get to go to the gym or hiking as often :(
 
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Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
Spending the weekend with a friend in another city. Not sure if I'll be able to exercise (I don't like exercising around people), but I definitely will if I get alone time.
I've had a rough week (long story short, my mom lost my car, on top of her already having stolen thousands of dollars from me throughout the years). I am officially cutting my mom out of my life now. That car meant so much to me; it was my first car, and I'm just so fucking heartbroken. I keep blaming myself for trusting my mom with my car. I should never have trusted such a vile woman with anything important to me. It's my fault. I ended up binging last night. I skipped school today. I feel like crying just now talking about it. Haha. But I'm happy to report that it was a much smaller binge than I used to have. I'll try to stay on track...But I'm devastated and heartbroken right now...

• AoS - Day 29 complete
• Hug - Day 6 complete
• Meditation - Day 6 complete

Weight: 257.4
 

JohnStrong

Well-known member
Commando from Alberta
Posts: 475
"No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable. -Socrates"
Really sorry to hear about what happened. It's heart-breaking when someone who should really have our back betrays us. I think making tough decisions in relation to our parents can be one of the hardest things; a recipe for all kinds of emotions. Well, don't be too hard on yourself. It sounds like you've learned something from this that you can carry with you next time you're at a fork-in-the-road involving your mom.
 

lofivelcro

Well-known member
Hunter from the sticks
Posts: 593
"Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today"
Despite what many people say, blood isn't thicker than water when it comes to the family we've been given. There's nothing wrong with cutting a member out of your life if it's far from a good relationship. The sad thing is that most people who have someone like this in life do it very late, because we think that we have to stick with family.
I'm sorry that you had to go through this, but I hope you'll come out stronger and more content. Good to hear that your binge was smaller than usual. You're doing great, really.
:hug:
 

Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
I'm angry. My friend cancelled the weekend trip on me. That's the third time in a row he's cancelled on me. I have cut him out now. Not just for cancelling on me, but because of the way he lacked taking responsibility for it. (We weren't good friends anyway, we'd actually only hung out in person once). I am not putting up with this kind of stuff from people anymore.

I exercised my feelings out. So here's an update:

• Treadmill - 2.27 miles (60 minutes). Average heart rate: 170. Highest heart rate: 193 (possible it was higher than this for a moment, but I didn't have my hands on the machine when I was in the middle of jogging). Felt like I was gonna die for a minute there, but I enjoyed it.
• Additional walking - 1 mile
• Stair machine - 17 flights (15 minutes)

I had too much anxiety to use the chest press, which sucks, but it's cool how hard I pushed today. Exercising is definitely a better coping mechanism than stuffing my face with food.
 
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Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
Really sorry to hear about what happened. It's heart-breaking when someone who should really have our back betrays us. I think making tough decisions in relation to our parents can be one of the hardest things; a recipe for all kinds of emotions. Well, don't be too hard on yourself. It sounds like you've learned something from this that you can carry with you next time you're at a fork-in-the-road involving your mom.

I appreciate it.

Despite what many people say, blood isn't thicker than water when it comes to the family we've been given. There's nothing wrong with cutting a member out of your life if it's far from a good relationship. The sad thing is that most people who have someone like this in life do it very late, because we think that we have to stick with family.
I'm sorry that you had to go through this, but I hope you'll come out stronger and more content. Good to hear that your binge was smaller than usual. You're doing great, really.
:hug:

I'm glad too. The worst part about going into a binge isn't just the binge, it's that it usually makes everything else fall off balance - I stop exercising, I stop taking care of myself, I stop caring about food and start overeating daily. This time I really did follow through when I told myself "this is only one day and I won't let it throw everything else off".
 

Fremen

Well-known member
Shaman from Italy
Posts: 3,427
"“Keep an eye on the staircases. They like to change.” Percy Weasley, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone."

Anek

Well-known member
Sorceress from Bavaria, Germany
Pronouns: She/her
Posts: 2,336
"If the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember Cedric Diggory."

Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
Thank you for all the hugs~

• AoS - Day 30 complete - 3rd time finishing AoS (Chair Edition)

• Stair machine - 18 flights (15 minutes)
• Treadmill 1.0 - 1 mile (26 minutes)
• Treadmill 2.0 - 0.5 miles
• Chest Press (12x5 I think? 15 pounds? Hard to keep track of these)
• Leg curl (12x3)
• Leg press (12x4, 20 pounds) + (15x5, 50 pounds)

• Hug - Day 7 complete
• Meditation - Day 7 complete

Weight: 258.0

I went to two gyms today so that is why there are so many things XD I didn't want to go back home yet.
Does going to IKEA for the first time, carrying a heavy box up a flight of stairs, and spending an hour and a half building a chair count as exercise? My word! More exhausting than the gym. Hopefully my new ProGamer chair will help me with my back pain. That's the reason I got it!
 
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Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
I haven't left my house yet today, but so far, walking around the house...No aches from yesterday. Surprising!
I had a dream last night that I arm wrestled a girl and I won. Hahaha. The desire for stronger arms is slipping into my dreams! I actually don't think I've ever won an arm wrestling match before, but I'm excited to one day win one.

• AoS - Day 1 complete (lvl 5)
HD Arms (2/4, will update throughout the day if I do more)
I only have 5-pound dumbbells

1st workout
41 dumbbell curls (per arm) - mental boredom rather than fatigue. Need heavier dumbbells lol
10 lateral raises (ow)
7(?) shoulder presses
10 tricep extensions (per arm)

2nd workout
20 dumbbell curls - boredom!!!
11 lateral raises
8 shoulder presses
14 tricep extensions
• Hug - Day 8 complete
• Meditation - Day 8 complete

Weight: 257.0
 
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Anek

Well-known member
Sorceress from Bavaria, Germany
Pronouns: She/her
Posts: 2,336
"If the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember Cedric Diggory."

Fitato

Well-known member
Mystic from Kansas
Posts: 444
"Hello"
I've almost missed my daily exercise over the past 3 days, but I'm glad I've managed to make myself do it anyway. I keep making so many plans to "get myself back on track" but they all keep falling apart. I keep trying to go to school, hike/gym, eat better, fix my sleeping schedule, then none of it happens. Bleh. I keep having nightmares about my mom and my car...

• AoS - Day 4 complete
• Hug - Day 11 complete
• Meditation - Day 11 complete

Weight: 256.6 - Surely a mystery after two 3,000-calorie days in a row. Weight fluctuations are bizarre.
 
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