To Forge an Ironmaiden...

Nevetharine

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Viking from The Depths
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Posts: 958
I apologize for being so quiet... but well, I haven't really been doing a lot of exercise since the ornaments.

At least, I've been going for walks every morning for 30 - 50 minutes. And maybe that does count because by then it's almost forty degrees outside...

My legs hurt a lot, not so much from DOMS (which is really surprising?!), as from the heat. Feel tired all the time and have trouble breathing with the humidity. 🥵 So, meh.
 

Laura Rainbow Dragon

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Bard from Canada
Posts: 2,622
"Striving to be the change."
My nerves tend to go all weird when I am very overheated, though it's generally arms first for me.
I just pass out. My brain says: "Need more oxy-- :twirl:--gehhhhhhh--:flat:." And the next thing I know I'm lying on the ground and some very concerned person is staring down at me, asking if I'm okay. (I am really not looking forward to next summer, having been forced to move into a place with no air conditioning and no living space in the basement.)

But yeah, that's heat illness you're experiencing @Nevetharine . Dump cold water on your head, eat a banana, and drink something with electrolytes in it.
 

Nevetharine

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Viking from The Depths
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Posts: 958
Sorry for disappearing again. Again, didn't exercise.

So. I'm on three Discord groups for writing. Combined, they have around 40,300 members. I actually joined them for feedback purposes. But as usual, it's been a waste of time.

Not one out of 40,300 people are interested in looking over one chapter of my work to give me pointers on how I can improve the pacing.

People who promised they'd read it never did, or are purposely telling me how they are enjoying reading anything other than my story

I'm sick of having expectations of people, and people going back on their word.

How am I supposed to improve if nobody's even willing to look over it? I wish I could get to the point where I don't care about them reading my work anymore, where the most important thing is me holding all those hours and hours of work in my hands and I can say: this was for me, if someone else enjoyed it, good for them.

I wish I was there. But I'm not. I want someone, even a single person other than me, to care about my work. Or just give me the half hour (or three hours as I've given them and I'm talking about Discord here), to feedback the very specific thing I'm asking about it.

But it's just me and the dumb AI that's the only feedback I have to fall back on regarding technique. Makes me want to side with the machines instead. They should become better at editing. And stay accessible to everyone. At least they're dependable.

Rant over.

Physical Activity:

:v: EotD
:v: Sorrengail 3 sets, 1m rest
:v: 2km Walk


Writing/Editing:

I'm taking the day off, because not feeling it. And I said I was going to take a break the weekend, but I didn't. Considering if I want to remove this piece of my log and just never say a thing about writing again ATM, but I probably need to cool off first.

Reading:

The Long Way To A Small, Angry Planet: 100% (I think I belong on this planet right now with the Toremi Ka)

I'm trying Leviathon Wakes now, but so far it's a little challenging to read. Feels like work, doesn't flow as easily and hasn't grabbed my attention right off the bat. Hoping it improves otherwise I'll switch to something else.
 

Laura Rainbow Dragon

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Bard from Canada
Posts: 2,622
"Striving to be the change."
So. I'm on three Discord groups for writing. Combined, they have around 40,300 members. I actually joined them for feedback purposes. But as usual, it's been a waste of time.
I don't know which groups you're on. But if you're looking for crit partners, quality is far more important than quantity. A large Discord server just means the folks in the server have done a good job promoting it. It says nothing at all about how engaged the members of the group are with one another, or the quality of that engagement when it does occur.

I was in an online critique group once, hosted by a popular Canadian author. The overall group was broken down into smaller groups, and members could review the content being posted in the different groups and decide which one they wanted to join.

So I had a look. A lot of the group members were young kids with precious little writing experience and zero prior critiquing experience. I knew they were not going to be a help to me. A lot of the more experienced members were posting only romance. And I don't read romance. They would ask for feedback on scenes describing the physical appearance of the main characters. How am I supposed to give that when I don't care? If you describe your character's physical appearance to me, I will gloss over anything that doesn't significantly impact how they function in their world. Tell me your character has gills so can breathe underwater, and can change the colour of their skin at will to camouflage with their surroundings and you've got my attention. Tell me your character is tall, dark, and handsome and it doesn't matter one iota how creative or "fresh" the words you come up with to say that are, I haven't paid attention to them because I just don't care. (The author who hosted this group specified in her first novel that the MC was blonde. I read the entire novel. Totally pictured the MC as having dark hair. Sometime after finishing the novel someone mentioned to me--or I read somewhere--that the MC was supposed to be blonde. I said, "She is?" I went back and re-read the first few pages of the book. And sure enough, the author had written that the character was blonde. But the character's blondness had no impact on the story whatsoever. So my brain had completely ignored it.)

Does this mean that including in your book long descriptions of details of your character's physical appearance that have no relevance to their story arc is a bad idea? If you want your book to grab my attention, probably. If you want your book to interest people who read romance fiction, however, I'm guessing not. So my telling a romance author, "I don't care what colour your male lead's hair is or how high his cheekbones are," isn't helpful feedback.

Anyhow... I chose a group to join which included two people who were writing at my level, and giving feedback at my level, one of whom was actually writing science fiction. And the person who was writing science fiction promptly used my joining the group as permission for her to leave it. ("Now that you've got some fresh blood, I won't feel bad about making the group too small. So I'm going to jump over to this other group where people will be tougher on me.")

The other group member who wrote at my level didn't post anything for critique at all for several months. Which meant she was also not obligated to provide any critiques herself. This person was the group leader, and did critique anyway. But participating in the group came with one rule: if you post something for critique in a given month, you must provide critiques to two other members who post their own content that month, and one guarantee: if you post something for critique, at least two members of the group will provide you with feedback within the month. The group leaders were meant to ensure the rule and the guarantee were both observed. So she saved her critiques for people who had not yet received their guaranteed two minimum. For some reason my content always received critiques from other group members quickly. So the group leader seldom provided me with any feedback.

And the feedback I did receive?:

"I did not find any spelling or grammatical errors in your piece."

I kid you not. That was the entire content of one of the critiques I received. English is my native language. I speak and write it fluently. And when I'm preparing content for other people to give me feedback on, I proofread my freaking writing before submitting it! So of course this "critiquer" didn't find spelling or grammatical errors. :facepalm:

Another person left comments that were so out-to-lunch I'm pretty sure he was drunk when he wrote them, but they basically boiled down to: "I think you should have your main character speak like this:..." followed by a line reading for the MC written phonetically with a very thick accent in a piece in which I did not use phonetic spellings to denote any kind of accents at all.

Another time I took an online writing course--that I'd actually paid money for!--in which students were meant to post excerpts of their work and get feedback from other students. But the class was not genre-focused. I was writing science fiction. But most of the other students had apparently signed up as part of some church group, because they were all writing Christian fiction. (To be clear: Christian fiction is a pretty broad category these days, and includes Christian science fiction. But none of these people were writing that.) Anyhow...

I posted an excerpt of my work, which mentioned that the characters had "FTL technology," and everyone--EVERYONE--in the class said: "What's FTL technology? You need to explain that!"

But should I explain what FTL technology is, just because everyone in my online writing class said I should?

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no fucking way. NO! If you waste words on explaining what FTL is (or "jump drives" or "hyperspace" or "space gates" etc.) to science fiction readers, they will assume either a.) you are a moron who has no clue how to write or (even worse) b.) you think they are morons.

People who read science fiction understand that, in space opera, technology often exists which enables characters to travel faster than the speed of light. Sometimes authors come up with what they believe are cool descriptions of how their FTL technology works. (Which is all really just hand-waving. Physical matter moving faster than the speed of light is not possible within the laws of physics of our universe. Yet it is necessary to tell stories about civilizations that span intergalactic distances. So it is a convention of the science fiction genre that authors can have FTL travel if they want it. It's magic that, by genre convention, we pretend is science, in order for space opera stories to work.)

But no one explains what FTL is. To do so would be equivalent to a romance writer writing, "Dirk was a tall, dark, and handsome man who could walk upright. Which is to say he was bipedal and could ambulate his body across level ground by pushing off from the ground with one foot while balancing on the other, and then swinging the now-airborne foot forward via a long limb called a leg which was attached to the rest of Dirk's body at his hips, all while he kept his broad, muscular shoulders roughly centred above his hips and used his arms to do non-ambulatory things, such as swiping left on Tinder."

Trust me: you can receive all sorts of feedback on your writing and have it be completely and utterly useless to you.

How am I supposed to improve if nobody's even willing to look over it?
Same way all of us improve at anything: through practice, and through study.

Keep writing. Keep reading. Read for pleasure first. But then take a second look at the books you enjoyed. What did you like about them? What did you like about the pacing in The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet? What did Becky Chambers do to achieve that pacing? What are you not liking about the pacing of Leviathan Wakes?

The one thing of value I did receive out of participating in critique swaps was the learning I did as a result of analysing other people's work. That work helped me to see better what I was doing well and what I was doing poorly in my own writing. But I quickly figured out I could do this same work by reading published authors. And doing the work privately on published texts was a more efficient use of my time as it meant a.) I could guarantee I was always reading work relevant to what I write, and b.) I didn't have to worry about phrasing feedback for unskilled writers in ways unlikely to make them cry and give up writing forever.

I wish I could get to the point where I don't care about them reading my work anymore, where the most important thing is me holding all those hours and hours of work in my hands and I can say: this was for me, if someone else enjoyed it, good for them.
A crit partner isn't going to help you get to this point. This is something you can only achieve by working on yourself.
 

Nevetharine

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Viking from The Depths
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Posts: 958
A crit partner isn't going to help you get to this point. This is something you can only achieve by working on yourself.
No. But they would be able to help me find plot holes I may not see because I've been over the work too many times. Or give me a new angle to work from to improve a scene. That's what I was asking for here, essentially.

Barring spelling and grammar mistakes because English isn't my first language, I want to know what I can do to this chapter so it doesn't feel so short and choppy. It's the final chapter, and also high-stakes. But it has many things happening in different places, lots of "description", but the battle itself feels rushed.

But also, for plot holes.

You with the char. descriptions reminds me of something I heard a few days ago. Did you know some people only read the dialogue in books? And then claim they've read the book?

And then go and bemoan the plot, when they've essentially skipped 80% of it?

Obviously skipping descriptions is different. It doesn't influence the story that much unless the person was describing an alien (IMO).

But only reading dialogue? What's the point of reading at all then? Books are supposed to be slower compared to the fast-paced life out there.
 

Laura Rainbow Dragon

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Moderator
Bard from Canada
Posts: 2,622
"Striving to be the change."
No. But they would be able to help me find plot holes I may not see because I've been over the work too many times. Or give me a new angle to work from to improve a scene. That's what I was asking for here, essentially.

Barring spelling and grammar mistakes because English isn't my first language, I want to know what I can do to this chapter so it doesn't feel so short and choppy. It's the final chapter, and also high-stakes. But it has many things happening in different places, lots of "description", but the battle itself feels rushed.

But also, for plot holes.
I do have one recommendation for you re: a place where you can get good feedback on your work, especially if you are able to articulate specific questions about it, as you have done here:

Holly's Writing Classes

Some things to note:

Holly Lisle was a fiction and non-fiction writer. Fiction-wise she wrote primarily science fiction, fantasy, and paranormal romance. Her non-fiction writing was books and text-based courses on how to write fiction and how to build a fiction-writing career. The Holly's Writing Classes website exists to support the latter.

All of Holly's writing courses are available for sale through the website. They range in price from free to, I think, $US770. There are several currently priced at $US4 which include quite a lot of content, including multiple exercises for practising the concepts the courses introduce. They provide good bang for one's buck, in my opinion. The courses in the $400-800 range are hefty beasts which take 6 months or more to work through.

If you "purchase" any of Holly's courses--including the free one--you are eligible for membership in the HWC forum.

Holly died in August of this year. But her daughter Rebecca is committed to keeping her mother's legacy, including the website and attached forum, alive. Additionally, there are a number of forum moderators, and other longstanding members (including myself) who remain active in the forum and committed to maintaining it as the community Holly envisioned: a community of writers for writers, free from trolls and flame wars, where writers serious about improving their craft and business gather to support, learn from, and otherwise help one another. The forum does not have a huge number of active members. But the members who are active are solid. The community lives up to Holly's intentions for it, in my opinion and experience.

One of the ways in which HWC forum members help one another is through the exchange of critiques and beta reads. You can be involved in this exchange of help too, even if the only HWC course you're able to get is the free one. However: you will not be able to simply jump in, quickly critique a couple of other members' things and then ask for crits on your own work. The HWC forum is a community, not a marketplace for the anonymous exchange of services. If you join, introduce yourself. Then invest some time in getting to know the other community members and commenting on their posts. Once you have done this, I believe you would have a good shot at getting the sort of help you are looking for. But join only if you're interested in building long-term community. You won't find a quick fix there.

P.S.: My handle on the HWC forum is simply my first name. Because yeah: I've been around that long.


You with the char. descriptions reminds me of something I heard a few days ago. Did you know some people only read the dialogue in books? And then claim they've read the book?

And then go and bemoan the plot, when they've essentially skipped 80% of it?
Hmm... That is certainly an interesting approach to consuming fiction!
 

Laura Rainbow Dragon

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Moderator
Bard from Canada
Posts: 2,622
"Striving to be the change."

Nevetharine

Well-known member
Viking from The Depths
Pronouns: She/her
Posts: 958
Eh, so my current exercise is just walking every day for at least an hour in very hot weather. It's groundbreaking, I know.


I'm thinking about *trying* a program in January. Otherwise I just need to get myself cycling again every day. That's easy right? Just sit and peddle.


And crank up the resistance every few minutes.


Hence my silence. Nothing to report exactly except:


Physical Activity:


:v: Walk
:v: And maybe the snowball fight ought to count, too.


Reading:
Leviathan Wakes > 33%


Continued this one. It got better after the first three chapters. I suppose my issue was just the language used and that I didn't have a ton of background to know what was going on. Now that I have a general idea, it makes more sense.
 

Syrius

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Valkyrie from The Sonoran Desert
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Posts: 1,153
"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others."
Reading:
Leviathan Wakes > 33%


Continued this one. It got better after the first three chapters. I suppose my issue was just the language used and that I didn't have a ton of background to know what was going on. Now that I have a general idea, it makes more sense.
Felt that way when I listened to it on Audible. Excellent series, I just finished it last month.
 
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