꧁𖥸ꕥ☮︎☿☼✶☾October 15 , 2023 (1 Consecutive Days)☽✶☼☿☮︎ꕥ𖥸꧂
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Doing that challenge on the Booty Maxx has helped my back tremendously, even after I stopped doing the exercises. But now my back is hurting again, so I just have to find the energy to start again.
So the saga with my aunt continues…My dad is the type who will complain about anything and everything, which is not pleasant at all. And going to these baseball games is hard for me. Yes, it’s family, but I’m not a very social person, so going to the games often does take a toll on me. My depression has kind of been acting up a little bit. My sister has been coming to whenever her schedule will allow, and she will play with CR more than she watches the game because CR really likes the attention she gets from my sister. Which means she’s not sitting in her chair the entire game. But, neither does my dad. So we get to the game and my dad starts in, telling me and my mom that we
three need to talk about what to do with the chairs because he’s not taking her chair if she’s not going to sit in it. My dad carries my moms chair, which she’s borrowed from my aunt and is heavier. I usually carry two chairs because we usually arrive before my sister. Sometimes my mom carries my dad’s chair, sometimes my dad does. Either way, I’m the one carrying my sister’s chair, so it is really only me who is affected by this. My mom and I are trying to explain this, and he was still going off about how she doesn’t sit in the chair. I said, “Who cares?” He tells me to hush. Right after saying that all three of us needed to discuss this. So I’m really frustrated at this point, which makes me cry. Which means my mind is now racing and I can’t stop it, so I can’t stop crying. My cousin obviously notices this, I’m trying to explain I’m just crying because I’m frustrated, which only makes it worse. Mom tries to explain things. My dad is not complaining now, because we’re around my cousins, and he tells her that “us [last name] have to stick up for each other. Which really pisses me off, because clearly that’s not the case. So I start to say something about his “freaking sister” but can’t get it out. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m aware of this. But I was frustrated because in my mind, he did the same thing she did. Dismiss me because I’m the youngest, and therefore shouldn’t have an opinion.
Anyway, my cousin ends up asking her mom about this. My aunt says it not a big deal. She just didn’t think it was right for me to make my mom sit in the backseat, because that’s disrespectful. There’s so many things wrong with this explanation. My aunt was the one who made it a big deal. If it was about my mom sitting in the back, why would say, “What if
I want to sit up front?” Nothing was mentioned about my mom. And my sister was allowed to sit in the front seat. We’re both adults, and both obviously younger than my mom. If it was about seniority, my sister shouldn’t have been allowed to sit in the front seat, either. I don’t remember if I said that I found out later my aunt said something about making my mom walk. But, you know, that was perfectly fine and not disrespectful at all. My mom is also not the type who cares if she sits in the front or not. I usually don’t care, either. Aunt is also the kind who wants to drive all the time, so I knew it wasn’t about her sitting in the front seat, either. Obviously, it was about her wanting to sit by my sister.
She’s also out here right now. She went to a CL’s baseball tournaments this weekend. It was farther away from us, so unless my sister was going, too, my mom and I (dad has to work) wouldn’t have gone anyway. She posts a picture on Facebook, and my aunt’s cousin comments asking if she’s going to see her brother. She said, “No, she’s leaving Tuesday morning.” She called my dad this morning and told him sorry that she didn’t come see him. She hasn’t even left yet. Pretty sure it’s because of the drama that was “no big deal”. What bothers me is that literally my entire family is the same way, but somehow, I’m not supposed to be. Even though I literally said nothing bad or out of the way to her, even when she gave me plenty of opportunity to, and I know my siblings and my cousins have said worse.
And to top it all off, my aunt on my mom’s side made things much more dramatic than they needed to be. My mom is the main cook. I try to help as much as I can, but I work better with recipes. My aunt has started cooking more. She decided to make pork chops. I only eat pork roast, pork sausage, and pepperoni. I don’t eat ham or bacon (except for on the big mouth bites at Chili’s), either. It’s not a problems as long as I have an alternative. This day, I woke up later than I meant to and decided to wait until the afternoon to take my shower. I did the laundry, made up my bed, and took a shower. We eat dinner petty early, and by this time we would normally be making dinner. When I come down, my aunt is on her phone. My mom is in the kitchen making tea. She had also done other little chores by this time. I asked if my aunt was going to make dinner. Mom said she didn’t know. It’s kind of to the point now where if it comes down to it, she’ll find something for me, my dad, and herself to eat and leave the rest to fend for themselves. I had skipped lunch that day, because I got too overheated dealing with laundry and things, and I’m fighting a sinus infection, so I didn’t feel like eating. At this point, there’s no sign of my aunt, so I asked my mom if it was alright if I made myself a pizza. She told me to go ahead. Now this would only take 19 minutes. Pork chops are my aunts favorite thing to make, and I swear it takes her twice the time to make that meal than my mom does. Usually by the time it’s done, my alternative end up being a sandwich or something because I don’t feel like trying to make myself something different. Of course, now that I’m getting ready to put my pizza in the oven my aunt shows up. She asked if I was cooking my pizza before she cooked the pork chops. Mom and I said yeah because she wasn’t here yet. Mom and I go to the other room, my brother comes down, and because he’s gotten to the point where he will ask if he needs to cook, he wanted to know what he needed to do. Aunt got mad because she “can’t do anything with that pizza in the oven,” and then proceed to rant about how just because she didn’t jump up right away to cook dinner, eff everybody, and whatnot. Mom had told me that when I was in the shower, she asked my mom what time she needed to start dinner. Mom said now I was as good a time as any, but she just sat there. When my pizza was done, my brother went in there to fix dinner, and she jumps up saying she’s got it. Even though she just threw a fit about it.
Turns out she also ranted about how it’s not fair that I have the option for an alternative when my brother and sister never got one. But yet we don’t eat Italian sausage on our pizzas because my aunt doesn’t like it. When we make pork roast, we have to slice it and cook it like that instead of as a roast. My mom has made my aunt an alternative when we would make beans because my aunt doesn’t want to eat beans. My aunt also doesn’t like pasta because it’s “nasty”, but the fact that I don’t like certain things is a big deal. Even though I don’t try to stop other people from eating what I don’t like. But I’m the picky one, even though there’s countless things she’ll wrinkle her nose at. I mean, maybe I should have asked her before I put the pizza in, but she didn’t seem to be in a rush, so I thought I could just get my dinner out of the way. I guess not. So just another instance of things other people can do, but I can’t. Feels wonderful.