The electoral service is mandatory by law. Failing to do it means two things:
- A fine of between 15 to 50 tax units, with each tax unit being worth 9 bolívares each. In a more readable currency, the fines are between around 3.17 and 12.37 US$. Counting inflation, the total amount wouldn't go beyond 20$. That doesn't sound so bad, until...
- An arrest that is proportional to the tax units fined, with one day per tax unit. This means that you can spend from 15 to 50 days in jail, aside from the fine.
This is law. This is also disproportionate. I get the fine, but jail time? I think community service is a little too far, but makes more sense than jail time. I'm failing to show up to an electoral service, not doing drugs, for crying out loud! I'm not sure about it, but I think doing drugs is a criminal offense that carries far much less punishment than this.
So yeah, I'll just whistleblow this. Whenever you hear someone say that this is a free country, remember this post.
Knowing that was enough to send me straight into the border. There was no dopamine. Dopamine does not exist. There's only cortisol and adrenaline. I went through what was the biggest scare of my life. I did my thing online, and when I needed to print the certification, there was no option to print. You know what happened next? A full blown meltdown and a panic attack, both mixed together. I don't know how much I walked today, but I know that what I walked today was not enough to get me off the stress because, as I did my course, the entire week fell apart. I had to cancel the two classes that I had this week, meaning that stressing for those deadlines was a complete waste of time. Then, I realized that I have to be at the voting center on Friday and on Sunday, and I might need to be there on Monday; it depends on what I learn from Sunday because the course was incomplete (obviously!). So, as I was saying, I walked to the local electoral office, school, I don't even know, and I don't f*cking care enough to translate to English. So, I go there, AND IT IS CLOSED BECAUSE TODAY IS THE BIRTHDAY OF THE MOST WORSHIPPED WARLORD! Yeah, after reading a Wikipedia article, and combining my knowledge of Venezulan history that keeps increasing each day, I've come to the realization that this country never had actual presidents; all of them have been warlords, even before the Conquistadors from Spain came along to do their thing, but I digress. There are no heroes in this country.
Anyway, I go there, only to be told by the military that the agents from the electoral council aren't there, so I have to go back tomorrow morning to solve that issue. 50% of the stress vanished. I spend my afternoon, trying to take a breath, purchased three notepads that I'll need because one of my notepads is almost full, and then I come back, and what do you know? I can finally print my certificate! Now, I have to go to town tomorrow...
I called my dad, and almost got a complaint for calling him in a short notice, but to be fair, I've been called off at the last minute before, so I wanted to make sure. We managed to plan things out tomorrow morning, but he got glad for me being selected as a table member. Everyone is glad because I'm against the government, and it is very likely that there will be people in favor of the government, so I have to make sure the count is fair, and all these things, but no, I'm not glad about it. In fact, I'm hating every single second of it. Sure, the experience is interesting, and it seems fun, but do I have to do all of that? Do I have to get my shields up as the only civilian against the government in a place surrounded by assault rifles carried by men in green with the proper training? I'm not dying for this country anymore. As soon as I realized that all we had is warlords, I don't care about what happens on the 28th; I don't care about the aftermath, and I f*cking care less about being a table member, I am done! I went through a lot of sh*t this month, and I just want it to end! Please, let me skip the entire month already!
I can't sleep. I don't think I even want to sleep. I'm trying to figure out solutions in my head because I can't stay with my dad. One of the things that pushed me out of it was not only the distance, but he actually got a dog, and that dog hates my guts. Even when she was a puppy, she has always tried to bite my ankles. She's a fully grown pit bull, quite strong, and has actually hurt my dad one time she got excited when he came home. She knocked him to the floor. My dad is approaching his 70s. The last time I went, I couldn't leave the room without her noticing me, and preparing to attack. He refuses to believe that. I don't know why she hates me. I never did anything to her, and I never spent time with her, but she hates me fully. That's not my experience with dogs that don't know me though; many of them approach me don't care, others approach me without any issue, and the most cowardly ones run from me, but eventually warm up to me, and even become playful. It's just this particular dog that I'm afraid of, because she seems to know which parts to bite. You know how pit bulls are hated in many places? My dad is also part of that belief, so I don't know why him, out of all the people, got a pit bull for a gift, a man whom, as far as I know, never had a dog in his life. And, to be clear, I do not carry that belief. I don't have to because I've seen with my own eyes that all dogs are good bois and gurls, and it all depends on the people who raise them. I've dogsitted before, and I've had dogs before, and they've been all lovely. Hell, my first dog was a dalmatian!
So yeah, I'm working on solutions. Talking to other family seems alright. If nothing works out, I'll have to sacrifice some cash and stay at a nearby hotel. Honeslty? Deep down, I want that. Isolating myself in a hotel, just for a day, can actually give me the disconnect that I require to realign and actually focus on finishing this week, on finishing this month, and finally relax...
This month has been, by far, the worst month I've ever had this year, and possibly, the worst month I've had in my entire life. I do not want to go through this ever again. I am done. From the 29th until the 31st I am going to take a holiday, because I need it.
I've cancelled everything. I don't have time for anything anymore. The little time that I have will be only dedicated to a hobby, but I won't write, I won't journal, I won't keep going with my goals... I'll even stop working out. I'll probably end up doing the DD tomorrow, and that's my final work. I'll carry on once the weekend is over. I just need a break from everything. I can't have at least one meltdown on a daily basis. And I'm labeling them as such because now I know that's what they are. I've had them throughout my entire life, but now I know these are ADHD meltdowns.
July 24th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 184
Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 50 Jumping Jacks +EC
Count: 1546 - 1542 +EC
Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories
Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 24
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs
Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: Unrolled
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1 minute
Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
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Shuffle Dance! (
#1,
#2,
#3,
H.A.T.E.R.)
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Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35
Challenges:
Posture: Day 24
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 24 - The lion sleeps (well) tonight. Editorializing: if this was the first time I've done this challenge, I would've taken that as a personal insult, considering the day I had.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Writing progress:
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Nope. Cancelled for the rest of the week.
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1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words
Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters
Other Victories: