The Paragon Path Towards An Epic Destiny

[Sólveig]

Man, yesterday sucked so baaaaad. I resetted my attempt to sleep again because I got up until very late due to excess caffeine consumption, so today I'm back at square one. While the journaling workshop was good, I could've performed a little bit better; just a tiny little bit. Not only that, but I did not have any time to train at all. I came home very late, and I helped my mom with her homework rather than write. To top it all of, we may have one of the main pipes on the water tank blocked, so we will be under a water shortage until we get that fixed.

What a way to get the weekend ruined.

I'm not in the mood to do anything this weekend, honestly. I'm just going to take a break from the last couple of awful days, focus on my alternate project, and get some mind rest. I just hope I get to move my body, because I am feeling anxious with the lack of training.

June 28th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 182

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 40 V-extensions +EC
Count: 1520 - 1516 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Nope
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 20 Full Burpees
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 33

---

Challenges:
Upper Body Blast: Day 28
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Did not have any time to do anything
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 89%
Mozart - 5/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

...at least I managed to do 50 Burpees today.

I think I managed to pick it off where I left off, as I spent most of my day tired, and hyperfocused on one thing only. None of my goals of the day were accomplished because of it, plus my time has been sucked so badly that I just don't want to do anything anymore. Oh, and guess what? It was yet another hot day. A very awfully hot day. It ended up raining, but the rain didn't do anything.

I really wanted to work out, but I couldn't do anything because of the heat. Did I say that we're also almost out of water? Yeah, good luck working out without water in a very hot and humid environment. Not getting a heatstroke again, nuh-uh.

The GM and another players will be missing for tomorrow, so... No D&D. Then the non-profit moved the monthly gathering for tomorrow, instead of waiting for the next week so that the month starts proper. I feel like the deck has been stacked against me over the latter half of this week.

June 29th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 182

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 50 Alt Arm / Leg Raises +EC
Count: 1521 - 1517 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Nope
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
50 Full Burpees
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 10 Lunges
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 33

---

Challenges:
Upper Body Blast: Day 29
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
There was a plan
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 89%
Mozart - 5/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[graoumia]

It is always a mess not being able to work out when you want too, but i think you took the right decision for your health, take care

 

[Sólveig]

At the end of the day, the solution is still in me. I didn't do anything today, however, there was a small sliver of progress after creating two Pathfinder 2e characters. Well, not 100% finished. Inventory is still the only subject that's left, as well as their stories, but mechanic-wise they are done. I didn't do the rest of the thingies because it takes time.

Today was also just awful. Completely awful. Then again, I decided to just take back control of the little things I can control. Instead of falling back into being a victim of the circumstances, I recalled on the efforts that I'm currently pursuing to actually push myself to write more. I also made some choices that will work for me on the long run. And instead of lamenting not having any opportunity to do Burpees (because the arrival of water STOLE that from me!), I picked up my dumbbells and started to do Bicep Curls that ended in an Overhead Press. Apart from the dice, it was still something that made me feel slightly good about myself. This week is over. This month is over. Tomorrow, the sun will rise again, and with it there will be new opportunitites.

I am entering now into the territory of two weeks left before my comeback from my hiatus. I still need to set up some things, but again, I must take control of my life. Urgently. Even if it is little by little. I want to celebrate some stupid victories tonight, victories that seem trivial; meaningless... but victories after all.

Still, I got a new badge. And I'm running back on Back & Core because I'm having posture issues, and I'm aware of it, so I'll be obsessive about it for a while. I know it's my core that isn't strong too, because sitting the proper way is tiring. I noticed the posture issues because I'm slouching, and when I slouch, I actually look overweight when in reality I'm not. Is not the mirror that is deceiving me, it is my posture.

June 30th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 182

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 30 Sit-up Elbow Strikes +EC
Count: 1522 - 1518 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Rebadging: Back & Core
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
5 x 10 Bicep Curl + Overhead Press
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 16 Squats
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 33

---

Challenges:
Upper Body Blast: Day 30
Up Next: Posture
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
There was a plan
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 89%
Mozart - 5/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Fremen]

Congrats

 

[graoumia]

Congrats

 

[Anek]

Congrats!!

 

[Sólveig]

@Fremen @graoumia @Anek Thanks!

 

[MadamMeow]

Congrats for Upper Body Blast!

 

[Sólveig]

It was a difficult day. Many books arrived at the non-profit, but the majority of them were encyclopedias and school books. I don't take those in for two reasons: they take way too much space, and no one ever reads them. The ones before me had a vision of this giant library where people would come to research and stuff, but the reality is that we don't have the public for it, plus there are a couple of libraries in town already to do those things, not to mention all schools have their own library. Making our own library for it is moot, especially when those books take a lot of space. Therefore, the collection is more specialized. It took me a while to convince them that's the case, and yet they still forget that we do not take those two especific type of books. Out of the four boxes, I had to package three to redistribute someplace else.

Funny thing happened to. Let's see. About ten years ago, or possibly more, one of my classmates at university proved himself to be untrustworthy when he asked about someone with a Poe book. It could be anything; he just wanted to read something from Poe. I had one, so I borrowed it to him. It never returned. I knew he read it because I saw him reading it for a few days, and even after a couple of weeks, he was completely terrified when I asked him about if he liked it or not, but he reads it slow, and tries to take it in deep... Again, like I said, it never returned. The excuse was that book was lost because he got robbed, and they stole his backpack. Since then, I never borrowed someone a book. There's only one person I know of that he returns his books, and is not me. He actually trusted me enough to give me a book to read; a funny book, a political satire that mocked the Venezuelan guerillas from the past century. It was a fun read, and once I was done, I returned him the book. It just goes to say... return your books!

Anyway, I was pretty surprised to see the book that I lost among the ones that came recently donated. It wasn't my copy, but it was the same copy: same demy hardcover edition, same translation, same printing, same foreword, same back cover text, same everything. Condition was different: the spine was a bit beaten, and there was some strange sticker residue all over the front and the back cover, but that's nothing that can't be cleaned. I kept it for my personal collection because I see this as a way of getting that book finally back. Besides, I'm in charge of the library, and I'm actually allowed to keep any book that comes there before I process it into the inventory. I don't abuse from that privilege, and sometimes I keep the books to myself for a while before adding it to the collection. That's how I read Amadis of Gaul.

I also got Don Quixote, but I didn't keep it. As soon as I saw the table of contents I realized that particular edition was incomplete, so I just processed it immediately. I'd rather have an edition with all chapters, but well... We do have Amadis of Gaul; which is the book that started chivalric romances as a whole. Don Quixote ended them with a blast, but in this case it'd be a partial blast. Not surprising that it is incomplete though; the edition itself was comissioned by Chávez, and judging by the foreword, it was meant as a tool for... of course, propaganda.

I should be laughing. The irony itself should make me laugh. Thing is that I'm just disappointed. Whenever someone uses art, regardless as to whether this individual or group is an artist or not, when they use it to push a message in support for the powers, whether these are a despot on the throne, or a revolutionary seeking to overthrow the regime, the artwork itself is completely bastardized, and it loses its value. My art teacher is a political cartoonist, and he taught me well: art's sole purpose is to go against the powers, not with the powers. I've seen him cringe quite a lot when he sees political cartoons intended as propaganda to support the government, or to bully the repressed. Somehow, he echoes Terry Pratchett words on Satire being a tool to ridicule the powers.

Thankfully, that was the only disappointment of the day. Even though I did one thing of my to-do list (because my time was cut short), I actually had a very successful day. I had an idea this morning, and I wrote it down. I managed to get not one, not two, not three, but five projects on the queue, and I found a way to develop them all: my main projects will be on the computer, which is the book and the short story. I'll also be writing a third book on a notebook, and I'm only doing it because I want to see how or when that story will end, because it was the idea that I got this morning. As for the other two, I'll be working on those during the weekend for two reasons: to unclog the creativity pipes when they get clogged, and to unwind a lot of the energy that can get accumulated as I write, so I get to do something different. So yeah, I guess this is me giving my plot bunnies an outlet so that they don't consume me. Also, 57 Burpees + 50 Burpees + 3 Burpees were enough for today. It was a bit late when I started working out, so at least I got 110 Burpees total for today.

Now I'll be going to bed. It was a very fun day, filled with one of the things that I love the most in life: books.

Also, my mom found 3D6 lying around somewhere, and gave them to me. I think one of them is loaded, because it has rolled on me sixes and ones the majority of times. But hey, now I have 10D6; which is a 5th-level FIREBALL!

You're still reading this? Roll me a DEX Save (Burpees; my Spell Save DC is 15 reps). If you skipped through, or didn't do 15 Burpees, then you take... 33 fire damage. If you did 15 Burpees, then you take half of that damage, rounded down, which is 16 points of fire damage.

July 1st, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 182

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 60 Seconds Raised Arms Hold +EC
Count: 1523 - 1519 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 1
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
57 Full Burpees
Monday +EC
Epic Glutes +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 12 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 33

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 1
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
There was a plan
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 89%
Mozart - 5/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Also, thanks @MadamMeow . I forgot to mention you, and I don't feel like editing. Plus I think you don't get notified with the edit, so here's a "Hi!" to look at in your notifications.

 

[Syrius]

Congrats on Upper Body Blast!

 

[Maegaranthelas]

well done on Upper Body Blast and on getting 'your' book back ^^

 

[MadamMeow]

Also, thanks @MadamMeow . I forgot to mention you, and I don't feel like editing. Plus I think you don't get notified with the edit, so here's a "Hi!" to look at in your notifications.

No worries, I know how it goes, but do appreciate the shout out!

 

[Sólveig]

@Syrius @Maegaranthelas Thank you!

---

Thankfully, I had therapy yesterday, so I talked about my regression and how I managed to avoid going deeper down the downwards spiral. My therapist now wants me not only to publish my book, but also he wants to read my first novel, which was going to be a graphic novel that... well, I organized it yesterday, and I'll talk about the quality later. All I can say is that it is quite personal, because there was a lot of dialog and denial of something that happened pretty much ten years ago: the initial doubts. This was during early 2015, and by that moment the doubts were increasing. It all came hitting me like a truck later, during summer. That script, that graphic novel that never came to be (and thankfully it never did, because I know how to make it justice), had an intense dialog that was quite transphobic in nature, with a good reason too. In my mind, I wanted for the characters to grow, to overcome that bigotry, and they did, but it isn't the development, but rather what I wrote that was intense. I was pretty much insulting myself, denying that I am transgender because how could I be? How could I be trans? It took me a long time to figure out all of those patterns were taught to the point in which I pretty much repressed myself. Remember the first BioShock? The Would You Kindly plot twist? It felt like that.

I went over it yesterday instead of writing. I honestly didn't have time; my morning was occupied by waiting at the hospital, but I started writing my VtM character, for as much as I could. Then, I took a nap, gave a guitar class, only for one of my strings to break, and then didn't train, except for the WoD. There was a lot of walking though. Now, back to the novel. as I was saying, I went over it, and cut every chapter into its very own Markdown document. It was 46999 words long, and that's not counting the prose that isn't there because the intention was to make an episodic novel. The main plot twist of it is now outdated, and I put three arc villains there, but as I gave more of a glimpse into it, I started to realize a huge issue: those arcs resolved each on their own. Another glaring issue is the plot holes I left out on purpose because my intention was to make another graphic novels to back up the story. It is a very rough gem, but it's still a gem, and after nearly 10 years I can make it justice now. Is not my priority because it'll take me at least two whole years to clean everything up, but with the knowledge that I have, and the experiences I had as I went through nearly 10 years of being a girl now, I can make it better. It was painful to read the original twist I gave, but I intended for it to be painful because that was the point: to overcome that flaw. Redemption was one of the key themes in that novel, it seems. Due to its episodical nature, I can also use the chivalric romance techniques and also make it episodical... even dividing the story into a cycle in order to actually cover the stories of the other characters that showed up. Amadis of Gaul did it, and not only I can do it too, I can also do it better. I trust that I am skilled enough to actually improve upon this project.

Then again, it'll take a while, and it isn't my focus. I'll show him the original script, no prose attached. Nevertheless, I'll make it a good episodic novel. I know I'll eventually end up doing that. All I need is a notebook, and start writing the threads that I put on, enlist the characters, and make connections.

E: So many typos.

July 2nd, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 182

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 40 Balance Front Kicks +EC
Count: 1524 - 1520 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 2
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
WoD: Core & Balance - LVL III +EC +Rest between levels
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 4 Jumping Jacks
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 33

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 2
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 2 - Nice and cosy.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
At least I opened Ghostwriter and Manuskript, plus I managed to divide my first novel. I didn't realize it had 89 chapters; some of which are less than 100 words long.
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 89%
Mozart - 5/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

I really need to have an awkward conversation. Yes, I woke up late, but in my defense, my sleep got all screwed up yesterday, but it isn't about that. It's about walking for longer than expected, or more of less walking and more sitting outside the house, wasting time. The only reason I did Burpee Queen is because it was my only hope to save the day when it comes to training, but yeah, I've already had enough time stolen. Thankfully it won't happen tomorrow, but now I must act hastely.

I managed to get 1500 words written today for my book, plus an extra 250 for a short story. That is it. I had more goals, but the two goals that I had left I can, thankfully, put them off for tomorrow... once I liberate myself from the main goals. I wanted to plan five more chapters of my book... ended up planning six! I also need to format my journal for the upcoming weeks because I reached the point in which I had no pages formatted. One week worth of format takes me like ten minutes with Calcurse, so I can do it tomorrow first thing, just to get the dopamine boost started.

Lastly, I've forgotten how good yoga feels with good music, even if A Tergo Lupi tends to go hard a few times... Nevertheless, when Anma ed Préia drops, it ends up being quite an experience. Thanks, Back & Core!

I wonder if @Fremen would appreciate the dialects used on that song...

July 3rd, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 182

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 30 Squats +EC
Count: 1525 - 1521 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 3
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Core & Balance +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 12 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 33

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 3
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 3 - Bed time it is.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
One step out of 32. Still, went further than 1500 words!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 89%
Mozart - 5/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

I wish I would've written more than 812 words, but progress is progress, and it is all going well. I guess I do need a bit of a routine, and I found a journaling exercise that can be helpful after going all this rotten thing I went through over the past weeks. As for my book, it isn't going as good as I expect, and I don't want to edit just yet, but I need to take some extra notes. I don't need a notebook for it though; I can just use my pad, though a notebook would be more advisable. Still, I'm going to go through what I have, and my pad is what I have for now.

But yeah, I couldn't write much today. Too much interruptions, and my mind wasn't fully there. I almost begun to add an overarching plot to it, forgetting that this is supposed to be an anthology. In fact, I think I planned the whole thing wrong, and part of me feels like I should instead do are arcs. Each episode can belong to the same arc, but they don't need to follow an overarching plot, so that they can still be an anthology. That's the key thing that I want: I want it to keep a sequence, yes, but keep it so that anyone can read one chapter without spoiling themselves, or just not follow the sequence at all. Is not really that difficult, but it requires a better planning than what I did, and in fact, I'm beginning to feel lost as I write.

I'll make up for it tomorrow. For now, it is time to sleep.

July 4th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 182

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 60 Seconds Wall-sit +EC
Count: 1526 - 1522 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 4
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
20 Full Burpees as a gift for Fremen's marriage anniversary
Qi Gong Ideogram: Zhong Fú
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches - Stretches #2 to #3
DAREdice: 8 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 33

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 4
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 4 - I am getting all my Zzz's tonight.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Only 812 words, but it was progress
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 89%
Mozart - 5/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

I got attacked by task paralysis after waking up later than I was supposed to, and then got overwhelmed with chores that ended up with an afternoon where I remained at a complete low, as if my afternoons aren't already the point where I am at my lowest of energy. I ended up dumping things on the page about eight hours after I woke up, only to then journal about it and realize that I need some direction for my book. It is going great, and it is looking great, but I need to actually set out a destination rather than wander around, even if it is an anthology. My solution was to put down arcs that I could write stories for. Once again, it is the one of the same techniques used for chivalric romances. Even though what I'm making is an anthology, Amadis of Gaul didn't have much of an overarching plot that tied the first four books together other than his love for Oriana and his responsabilities as a knight, and still managed to seem like an anthology, even if it is just an episodical novel. Then again, each chapter is its own story, but there are some chapters that, together, form an entire arc, and some of which actually feel like a Dungeon Crawl, but I digress. The point is that chivalric romances did it best for what I'm trying to write down, so I need some planning... or, better yet, improve on my plan.

Speaking about it, I should ditch some of mine considering that, lately, I've been feeling quite down. Of course I'm doing my best to keep a good attitude and keep pushing, but today was just hard emotionally. I couldn't even make the simple decision between paying for 20 liters of water right there and get over with it, or wait to discuss it first and see who's paying for that. I know, the solution was very simple, but again, paralysis. This is not the first time I have one of these, and I'm glad that I know this is just my ADHD screwing with me.

Because I've been on my lows I decided to make this day a self-care day. Tomorrow, I'll start putting things together again, and then I'll make a better plan. I'll only have two things for tomorrow, and the rest will fall into place.

Declaration of Independence Day today. Oddly enough, many businesses were open, though some closed up early. I actually find it quite hilarious and harsh in hindsight after, when I went back through my books of history to make the metaplot of my VtM Chronicle, I saw that not everyone agreed with independence 213 years ago. It only took for the Spanish throne to be taken over by Bonaparte to have that half who disagreed to change their minds a year before, because they'd rather be independent than serve under a Spanish Empire that served French interests, so a year later, they signed the declaration, kickstarting the Independence War. The patriotism of this date blinded the people to that very little known fact, thus everyone did the same in 1999, because they would rather to vote for Chávez rather than live again through the disappointment the bipartisan government from the latter half of the past century was, even after one of its presidents not only recognized why Chávez gained a lot of recognition and admitted that him, his party, and the other party disappointed the people, but also forsaw that Venezuela would go down under Chávez's government. They didn't give him credit for that until much later, all because it was under his government that the Caracazo ocurred, and he was the one Chávez attempted a coup upon in 1992. Venezuelan history is almost a soap opera.

July 5th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 183

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 20 Urdhva Mukha / Adho Mukha Shvanasana +EC
Count: 1527 - 1523 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 5
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
Side Kicks Practice - LVL III +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches - Stretches #2 to #3
DAREdice: 10 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 33

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 5
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 5 - Dear Bed, I love you.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Overwhelmed
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 100%
Can't Hurt Me - 7%
Mozart - 5/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Got it. I spend the entire day journaling, getting ahold of my ideal day and the day that I get by and... dear, it was a wake up call. I've been dragging myself down pretty badly. Not only I found myself avoiding things, but also indulging in some pretty unhealthy habits. Thankfully, doing this provided the solution, as I actually came up with that first before the problem. Thing is the road is a bit bumpy and long, but I actually kickstarted the thing at the start of this month. In fact, the major victory would be to start doing the medieval sleep, and the rest will fall into place. After putting everything into their hours and containing them in those little cells it actually felt like I could accomplish things.

I got the entire weekly routine written in a sheet of paper, and now it is on my wall. All I have to do is look up and I'll see what I'm supposed to do at this time. It says that I should be sleeping, but I'm actually getting used to going to bed at 11 PM first, and right now is 10:15 PM. It's about going backwards, reaching the goal of 9 PM. By the moment I reach 10 PM I can start adding the watch period. I also left a spot for squeezing a nap during lunch break, plus taking into account the usual schedule of the powercuts, it was very fitting that I managed to squeeze activities that don't require power and also give me progress. Drawing seems like a good fit, and if I have to go out, I can do so.

I might restart the Pin-up challenge... or simply cancel it and just have Pin-up babes as a focus, yes, but not to actually do a challenge where I get to draw them for 365 days, and count each day. It actually feels exhausting. I'll start small. See first a week, and then I bump it up from there.

Another neat thing that I loved about my routine is that I put everything almost as if they are lego blocks, so I can switch things up if I need to, depending on the priorities, and even on my moods. I squeezed a time for playing TTRPGs solo, and also reserved Sundays for D&D, but since D&D can be cancelled (as it is prone to be cancelled), I can change it up with other things. I put the hours, yes, but everything is... is written in ink, yes, but it isn't meant to be permanent. I put some asterisks that say this schedule is flexible, so I can adjust according to my plans of the day, or the random encounters I face myself with. Flexibility is the key to this.

I'm excited! I put a couple of things that will help me to do better. I'm seriously excited about this.

July 6th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 183

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 20 Jump Squats +EC
Count: 1528 - 1524 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 6
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
34 Punches for BlackButler's birthday
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches - Stretches #2 to #3
DAREdice: 16 Squats
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 34

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 6
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 6 - Tomorrow is another day.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
None other than journaling
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 7%
Mozart - 5/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Well, I didn't do much today. D&D day, and the session was very long. Our GM likes to put a lot of cutscenes when it comes with social interaction, and it seems that my character was the only one with a meaningful on the campaign, as the other characters aren't very into it. He didn't know how to bring them into the spotlight more often than mine, and it wasn't because I was too eager to participate, but I wanted for the others to do it too. I guess the players weren't up to it.

Regardless, it ended up being fun, albeit with a little of railroading. My plans on the final combat went away more than once, but then I didn't have much to do on that battle since the Barbarian had pretty much everything under control. All I needed is to cast Slow, and then keep myself away from harm. Never lost concentration once, and the only time I got hit was before I casted the spell. It felt a little like a filler, and I blame an encounter that took longer than necessary because there were too many NPCs with us, and too many creatures attacking. Like I said, our GM likes to put a lot of cutscenes, and sometimes it ends up looking as if he's playing by himself.

With one player gone for the next three weeks, we'll be switching once again to Vigilante City. Thankfully, preparing for Vigilante City takes much less time, so I can work that out.

July 7th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 183

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 50 Side-to-side Jumps +EC
Count: 1529 - 1525 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 7
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 20 Jumping Jacks
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 34

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 7
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 7 - Do not disturb.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
I started my book journal
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 9%
Mozart - 5/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

I found it very interesting to see that Mozart had a failure at 12 years old, when he composed La Finta Semplice. Leopold was quite enraged, and he did have a point for his rage, but it was a bit exaggerated. This isn't about Leopold though, it's about Wolfgang. I actually found it very encouraging to realize that... although thanks to circumstances that weren't neither in his control, or his dad's, he actually failed at that opera for plenty of reasons, including musicians who didn't like the idea of this 12-year-old kid conducting them months after Gluck stood upon that same podium to conduct his own opera. Some singers didn't even know how to read musical notations, thus they had to learn by ear, as well as Wolfgang's own lack of proficiency at writing music with Italian lyrics because he didn't understand the language well enough to make music for it, and many other reasons... Vienna was horrible for him, but then he got redeemed back at his own home city, in Salzburg, where his opera Bastian und Bastianne was actually a success. It was a comission by Dr. Mesmer for a small theatre he had on the open, and Mozart wrote something for it. I listened to it earlier today as I worked on my book. Then, Salzburg allowed for him to showcase La Finta Semplice, righting the wrong that was put upon him by Vienna.

Leopold might have been harsh about Vienna, but he did show how different cities have different cultures, viewpoints, and such.

Why am I saying all of that? Well, the struggles that they went through were similar to my struggles in music, but I wasn't lucky enough to have a Leopold. My parent's weren't involved in the world of music beyond putting me in the conservatory, and I never had a chance because I wasn't up to standard, and quite honestly, I'm glad I never did. People say that there's plenty of competition in writing, and I understand that, I've been rejected many times, and I've lost more contests than what I've won, but at least writers aren't as toxic as the musicians I've met. Believe me, it is a very competitive world, very egoistical, and everyone seems to be doing their own thing, stomping on others, gossip goes around, people in lead positions can be quite toxic... even admirable masters whom I won't mention by name because this would be pretty humiliating for them to tell, and I don't want to criticise gossip while engaging upon it (possibly), they've bullied musicians because they have poor quality instruments. One thing is criticising, another thing is bullying. Again, I don't like the community, it is very harsh in my experience, and I'd rather to stay as far away as possible. It's one of the reasons why I cringe when someone is joyous when they learn that I'm a music teacher. Yes, music is my specialty, but please, don't be amazed by it because it makes me puke. I am far from being the musician that my title claims to be, I am a writer. I make music with words instead of sounds. On thing is right though is that I am a teacher.

Now, going back to Mozart, seeing that failure happen to him was motivating. I don't know why, but it was. A child prodigy with amazing talent who was shunned just because he was a child? It just goes to show that not even talent can save you, and truth of the matter is that hard work did. La Finta Simplice was his first opera, but he didn't stop composing there, because he still composed, and people kept comissioning him music. He still had the advantage of Leopold taking him to pretty much every single court in Europe, but the works that he penned for all those nobles... that was all Wolfgang's doing. He had a good opera, but bad musicians, and he kept working until he had another good one, and willing musicians, and he started to kill it. It's about not giving up.

I had 8 things to do today, and I slashed 6. In spite of having my time (AND my mom's too, to boot) stolen this morning, I still killed it. I got my book journal running, with one segment dedicated to techniques and brainstorming methods (rolling tables), and the rest of it will be dedicated for my books, to which I already conceptualized the first one. I also organized everything into eight concepts, and I wasn't going to put eight, but it ended up being eight, with one flexible caviat in case I'm tired of those eight. Those concepts are worlds, worlds that are even more barebones than ICRPG's worlds, but just having their concepts there is enough because the plan is to worldbuild on the go. Eight worlds, and Ten TTRPG systems that I'm familiar with, and I'll bust out the TTRPG systems in case I need to. The best part? If I have no idea, I can just roll for it.

I started reading How to Write Pulp Fiction again to refresh my memory, and took notes on some techniques. I also established a monthly deadline for my stories because I'm having a lot of my plate currently, and my book is taking the priority, plus I just can't work with weekly stories anymore... The quality dropped, I started to repeat the same story over and over, and I just can't deal with the pressure of putting out content once a week, not when there's too much on my plate. Tomorrow I have to set myself some rules for success, break down the entire project, and start setting up deadlines.

July 8th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 183

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 40 Side Bends +EC
Count: 1530 - 1526 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 8
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
7 Full Burpees
75 Full Burpees
75 Full Burpees
WoD: Launchpad - LVL III +EC +Rest between levels
Monday +EC
Everybody Squats Now - LVL III +EC +Rest between levels
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches - Stretches #2 to #3
DAREdice: 12 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 34

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 8
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 8 - All I need is sleep.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Improved on my book journal and started planning things out
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 9%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

My body said no working out today, and I obeyed. DOMS from yesterday's squats, as well as a lot of stress of doing some journaling work on the morning... after waking up late, also having some low energy levels, and even giving a guitar lesson that I didn't want to give, but I ended up doing a good job as a teacher today? It was weird. I didn't want to give class, and I ended up giving a good class, and I still think I should've done something else, even though I did good. It's really confusing to try to be nicer to myself with some stuff.

As for the journal, well, I did one of the Struthless videos activities and set myself up some rules for working... but no, these are not mere seven rules I put upon myself... no, this are seven articles of the law that I must follow to keep writing. Yeah, it's a law. I even used AI to add the legal jargon to it to make it sound as boring as it can possibly be because I'm not a lawyer, and I can't write on legal jargon without a lot of thought and editing, stuff that I don't have any time for... besides, this is just rules for me, and if I want to make it actually mine without cheating, I'll do that in the future; I just did those to actually have a baseline to work upon. I also modified some deadlines to have them more realistic, and overall, I think I'm going god at this. Tomorrow I won't have quite an interrupted day as I had today.

There was a hailstorm tonight that gave us an entire hour of a powercut. I only have 10 minutes before I to go to bed, so... Good night!

July 9th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 183

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 30 Single Leg Bridges +EC
Count: 1531 - 1527 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 9
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 10 Jumping Jacks
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 34

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 9
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 9 - I am going to dream big tonight.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
More journaling
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 9%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Today was supposed to be another kickboxing day. In fact, today was supposed to be a free day in which I could've done every single bit of my plans!

No, it wasn't.

I woke up VERY late due to last night's hailstorm causing a one-hour powercut. Not only I overslept, but also I had to do chores all of the sudden, only to then be abandoned in the middle of them. I'll say it straight: I had no dopamine whatsoever, and angrily wrote on a sheet of paper for fifteen minutes everything that angered me, and I was so mad that I broke the pencil's lead. Today I learned that ADHDers also had meltdowns, and what I've had today, and the other moments in my life that I've behaved like this, are exactly that. Because my schedule went to the trash, I decided to not make a list, and instead just count my victories.

I've been anxious the whole day because of it. I lost my time to do kickboxing, so I resorted to Burpees only because I needed to move. Then again, at least I finished putting the stuff that I needed in my book journal, and I finally started the book. I'm still a few steps behind to finishing its conceptualization, and I can't do it today because it requires me a bit more time, but I have everything to get started. In fact, I don't even need those last steps as I can make them on the go, but I want to make them anyway because I'll have less things floating around.

With three victories, with one feeling more like a relief instead of an actual victory, I'm done with today, through and through. I just want to nod off and start again tomorrow. If I have to sacrifice Qi Gong for the sake of my book, I'll do it. I don't have much time left.

July 10th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 183

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 40 Calf Raises +EC
Count: 1532 - 1528 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 10
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 10 Jumping Jacks
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 34

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 10
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 10 - INHALE EXHALE
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
More journaling
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 9%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Again, it was supposed to be another kickboxing, and a Qi Gong day, but I skipped Qi Gong because the same thing that happened the day before happened yesterday too. This time, I managed to pull through, and ignored it so that I can focus on my book. I woke up in a good mood in the morning, only for it to be stolen by what seems like an innocent question, but it outright pisses me off because it always makes me feel like a failure.

I pulled up D20 Modern and figured it might be a good chance to actually learn it RAW, even though I hate 3e and derivatives due to the bloated amount of skills it has (Starfinder and Pathfinder 2e are the exceptions). I haphazardly made up my two protagonists over there; just slapped them together to have something quick, and then wrote the two scenes to finish the concept of the book. Finally, I am ready, and with those scenes I pretty much gave it the green light. Characters' backstories gave me quite a few amount of threads to explore on the story as it goes on.

Also wrote down my notes for ICRPG, as I'll be GMing Vigilante City on the weekend. Already have the idea, and I'll start developing it once I'm done with writing for today.

I barely managed to get to bed on time last night. I wish it was due to writing, but no, it is because we needed to fill the tanks, and water came last night.

July 11th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 183

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 50 Side Kicks +EC
Count: 1533 - 1529 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 11
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
75 Full Burpees
75 Full Burpees
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 12 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 34

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 11
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 11 - Keep calm and go to bed.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Started the book with 1644 words!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 9%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

I'm lacking on my workouts this week. I've also had a huge problem by not doing anything today, and I did stuff, but then I ran out of time, and... it's annoying.

I think I must go with timers again. I have to, especially because I still have to prep for Sunday, and I didn't do anything. At least I got 854 words done, but I'm having some doubts.

July 12th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 183

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 10 Burpees +EC
Count: 1534 - 1530 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 12
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 10 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 34

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 12
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 12 - I deserve more sleep.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
854 words today
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 9%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

I cancelled ICRPG for tomorrow because I didn't have a session ready. I hyperfocused on my book today, which was a good choice. In fact, cancelling was the best choice I made, because now I went beyond the threshold, and the gates closed. Yes, I started my book today, with a prologue that had 2597 words! 2500 words earns me a golden star, which means a major victory in my day. Going beyond 2500 words is possible; I've done that on NaNoWriMo, but this isn't NaNoWriMo, this is me writing a book on a regular schedule... albeit I'm sprinting a little. The best part is that it doesn't require much editing because, yes, I can make it better, but it's good the way it is.

I'm going full Mickey Spillane on this one. I still have some work to do, but I can leave that up for tomorrow. It's about planning the three arcs I'm about to explore, and judging by the style the story introduced itself, the arcs might be all spread apart and, instead, the story will follow a traditional episodical structure. Honestly, I don't mind mixing the arcs. La Sicaria de Polanco has seven different arcs acting out simultaneously, to the point that the threads become a Gordian knot that gets stressful for her. I don't know if that's going to be the case in my book, but with three threads is going to be manageable. I'm not looking to make an overtly complicated story anyway; just something that feels like a movie, or a book you'd pick up for a dime back in the late 1800s. Yeah, as if I didn't have enough with embracing pulp fiction, I'm also embracing their precursor: the dime novels. What can I say? I always loved their non-pompous style of telling a story instead of being all pretentious about words. Who was the one who said that salted peanuts sold more than caviar, by the way?

July 13th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 183

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 40 Prone Reverse Fly +EC
Count: 1535 - 1531 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 13
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches - Stretches #2 to #3
DAREdice: 8 Double Burpees w/Jump Knee-Tuck + 2 extra ones
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 13
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 13 - I will take over the world. Tomorrow.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
2597 words!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 9%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

100% victories. No writing, but there was writing done. How so? Well, I planned my week. It turns out I have four upcoming deadlines, and they're all too close to each other, so I had to plan it out. I was very anxious, but once I made my plans, I started to feel at ease. I wouldn't be having any issues, but something changed. There are upcoming... "elections," (I still don't believe in elections during a dictatorship), and my number came up in the raffle. What I mean with it is that I'm forced to spend that Sunday on duty at a voting center, doing... whatever "volunteers" do. It is unpaid labor that we do "for our country!" and I rather not do it, but I can't opt out unless I have a major injury or a major medical issue. Honestly, I don't like it for several reasons other than not being paid: it is a huge waste of time, I have to be there for almost 24 hours on call, and depending on how the day goes on, I may be at risk. I'm not kidding; after one election many years ago, small tanks were deployed for no reason. It was almost as if the government put a curfew.

Today I also learned that a musician who wrote two songs for the opposition leader has been arrested for no reason. I used to ask myself what if they would come for me, but after what I wrote for my book just to get some work done, and knowing that I'm prone to do social commentary, the question now became when they would come for me. I'm highly paranoid because I know that this election is just another circus, no matter how much hope people have, Sunday 28th will just be another smokescreen that the government does to keep the façade of Venezuela being a free country. If Venezuela was truly free, SEBIN agents wouldn't have murdered Canserbero all those years ago (or helped to cover up the scene, if that's the case), nor they would be arresting people for expressing their allegiances. I'm completely conscious that Maduro will lean more towards a 1984-esque government after this year. In the case of Edmundo winning, then I don't know what to expect. Worst case scenario is that they won't give up the power, which can then be followed by a civil war, another revolution, or Maduro still in power through usurpation.

My predictions are dire, but I do find it very hard for them to give up the power. And, honestly, do I really want to feel hopeful on parties that have done nothing but overpromise, never get things done, and lie? And I'm not talking about political parties; I'm talking about actual people. MCM never lied to us, yet she won't be on the election because the regime knows she will win, hence they banned her from it a while back. Edmundo is her "puppet," let's say, but I don't trust puppets... not after April 11th 2002.

July 14th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 183

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 30 Seconds High Knees +EC
Count: 1536 - 1532 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 14
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 8 Lunges
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 14
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 14 - Charging time. (barely)
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Sharpening my axe
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 9%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

I couldn't do anything today! You know at what time I was finally available to sit down in my journal to actually plan stuff? At 4 PM. One hour before doing my workout, and by the time I could do things... I was just so low on energy that I just can't do anything.

One victory so far; at least I journaled. I'm still insecure about the upcoming elections, but at least I came up with a plan to compensate.

Today was just a bad day, but hey, I got to work out pretty good! Dumped my 210 Burpees for the day, did Brute: Leg Day, which will leave me sore tomorrow, that's for sure! I've never felt my inner thighs so tense during Side Lunges before. Had to skip the pole dance stretches, but it doesn't matter. Burpees are what matter.

Anyway, the plans that I had for today were a complete pipe dream. Tomorrow is another busy day, but I think I'll have more time if I go to bed now. After transfering my journaling efforts to the morning, I've actually done something good, which is to generate a dopamine baseline to get my day running. Thing is I woke up pretty late today!

July 15th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 183

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 40 Plank Leg Raises +EC
Count: 1537 - 1533 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 15
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
7 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
Monday
Brute: Leg Day
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 8 Sit-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 15
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 15 - Sleep solves everything.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Almost
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 9%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Is it not ok to plan? Why do I even keep a schedule when my time will always be eaten up anyway. I always feel that everything that I do is always for nothing because, no matter what, other people will always end up consuming my time. I hate this. I hate people depending on me. I hate that I have to sell an entire day to the government for nothing, all while I have four deadlines too close to each other. Why do elections have to happen in the middle of summer anyway? Why not December, like it used to be?

Right, I forgot, because this is a dictatorship, and they already have it all rigged...

At least I managed to kill off 50% of one of my tasks for a deadline. The other 50% is something that I can't do until the weekend. In fact, it seems that I'll do everything on the weekend, because this week is just a complete loss of time. I might just rip off the pages from the BuJo for this week, and flush them on the toilet, because that's how it feels now. I barely had time for me on Monday, and all I had for me today was this morning and yesterday morning...

I seriously need to disappear from everyone's life for a month. From my family, from the non-profit, even from the government. Just a month so that I CAN HAVE. THE TIME. TO. WRITE. MY. F*CKING. NOVEL!

July 16th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 183

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 60 Side Leg Raises +EC
Count: 1538 - 1534 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 16
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
Brute: Arms & Back
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches - Stretches #9 to #10
DAREdice: 8 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 16
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 16 - My sleep game is strong.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Can't I just have my plans not be ruined for, at least, one month?!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Well then, one of the things that overwhelmed me is finally over. Axed a few things, and now I can finally go with my plan... though I might need to make a huge output in here. I'll just journal for a bit, and go straight to bed.

All I can say is that I'm glad I moved one deadline to the last Wednesday of each month. Otherwise, I would be screaming by this point. I hope to be at the eye of the storm at this moment because... it's going to be horrible in two weeks, when the 28th arrives. I really want to get these things over with so that I can focus on what's up for the next month. This is just... horrible. For the entire day I was at my lowest on my dopamine levels, so I didn't plan at all. I thought that was a bad decision, but it ended up being the correct call, because the schedule changed at the last minute. I did things quickly upon it, and then used the free time to actually outline the chapter I'm about to write, and I'm happy that I did. Not only that, but since I used Mythic for it, it also incorporated a few of Chandler's gunmen in the way. I guess this is going to be longer than 50K, but it is too soon to tell. See, I used it because the plans that I wrote were boring, so I just rolled the dice and ended up with more intrigue on the way, and I love how everything starts to unfold, especially when I noticed that, when I wrote the prologue, something unexpected started to happen... and I might have to get that. One particular Mythic roll helped me to come up with something.

Anyway, that's all for today. Still doing Burpees, but I'm putting a lower load in my legs. Brute: Leg Day? That left me with a severe case of DOMS, and it is hard for me to even do my morning Burpees. Nevertheless, I'm feeling less tired. My stamina is improving.

July 17th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 184

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 10 Raised Leg Push-ups +EC
Count: 1539 - 1535 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 17
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
Combat Light +Megaset
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches - Stretches #2 to #3
DAREdice: 10 Jumping Jacks
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 17
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 17 - Status: in bed.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
At least I have an outline.
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Almost a day of writing. I actually didn't advance in my novel, but at least I cleaned up my character sheet, did some journaling about it because some plot twists occured to me, so I wrote them down, and overall followed a piece of advice from James Scott Bell that I never applied: write down any opening line that occurs to me. Thanks to my trusty Hipster PDA, two came in my head, so I wrote them there and yet they still remain there because I do not want to create a new document to dump those lines, plus I'd like to have a small pocket notebook to keep them. I'll sort that out when the time comes.

Right now I'm tired. I'm not working out today. I walked quite a lot. Yesterday I didn't work out as much as I wanted, but at least I made... some negligent progress in my book. No new words written, but made some improvemnts. Yeah, it's giving me a headache to think about the book right now. I do want to write it now too, but I must do a few things first.

July 18th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 184

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 30 Scorpion Twists +EC
Count: 1540 - 1536 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 18
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
7 Double Burpees w/Jump Knee-Tuck
Ba Han Sheng Qi Gong: The Truth: Fidelity to the Revealed
Qi Gong Ideograms: Zhong Fú
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 4 Double Burpees w/Jump Knee-Tuck
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 18
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 18 - I will feel so much better in the morning.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Almost
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

And I had some plans for today, but I cancelled them on the last minute. This is actually on me because a mall opened up a while ago, and I wanted to know where it was. I ended up walking quite a lot, and came back home with my legs not giving in at all, so this weekend will be a break. I mean, I went straight to bed, and I could feel my calves completely sore still.

That doesn't mean it was a bad day at all. It actually opened up to an opportunity to progress in my transition. How is that going to manifest, I don't know, but I know it opened up. As soon I start monetizing my writing, I can take it. Speaking of it, at least I put 171 words to it, and managed to get a few more plot twists put upon my plans. The middle of the story, and the purpose of it is now starting to make sense even though I'm just at the beginning. I still don't know how to end it, but I have more stuff than before.

July 19th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 184

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 60 Seconds Scissor Chops +EC
Count: 1541 - 1537 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 19
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 16 Lunges
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 19
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 19 - ..but first sleep.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
At least I put 171 words
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

More rest. I also decided to focus only on getting rid of things. Thankfully, I now opened up a lot more time to work, so now I am finally freer. It's only a matter of waiting for now. I also have two more weeks. Tomorrow there will be an ICRPG session, but there won't be a new one next week because it is election day, and two of us aren't coming. All I know is that once August arrives, I'll finally feel more relaxed after thes lasts weeks, which were... very exhausting.

With three things done, I axed everything. I didn't manage to get to 1500. I mean, I could have, but I didn't know I had a thing for today, so I didn't write anything out of fear that I would be interrupted. A good decision. I ended up writing a bit earlier today, and I left it where I was because it was getting late. It is nearly 11 PM, and that's my limit to go to sleep.

July 20th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 184

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 20 Leg Raises +EC
Count: 1542 - 1538 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 20
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 12 Squats
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 20
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 20 - 3...2...1.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
And I rewrote and put a total of 1327 words!
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

There wasn't anything I could do yesterday, as I didn't have time for anything. ICRPG day, and that was it. At least I managed to walk, but the rest of the day got very busy.

I didn't write. Suffice to say that last week was a complete disaster, and this week doesn't seem to be different. All I want is for the month to be over; that's it. Once August comes around, I can finally breathe and focus on my book 100%. My book, and also, a monthly short story I'll be releasing. I still need to figure out how to add more words into my count.

July 21st, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 184

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 20 Seconds Pacer Steps +EC
Count: 1543 - 1539 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 21
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 20 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 21
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 21 - I can and I will. SLEEP.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

ADHD won today. I was completly distracted, and I just didn't want to even plan my week. I failed at that. I failed at everything.

And yet, I succeeded? 220 Burpees today, I woke up way earlier than usual, almost like a morning bird (6 AM)... though that was my dad's fault, or maybe not. I got him calling me at 5 AM on WhatsApp and I have no idea what the hell that was, and neither does he. I didn't answer his WhatsApp call and instead outright call his number. My rule of thumb is to never answer WhatsApp calls unless someone texts me that they want to call me first. Reason being that data plans in here are very limited, and I may not be connected to a Wi-Fi network. Besides, I hate phone calls, especially the ones that use the Internet. I'm too much of a Bitpunk for this thing. You know Bitpunk? The OG Cyberpunk that started in the 80s with Neuromancer and Blade Runner? The one that Shadowrun kept following for a while before technology changed and is only Bitpunk in aesthetic? Yeah, that was the future I wanted, not this one.

Enough of my ranting. I know today was a failure, yet I feel today was a victorious day. I found a key to disrupt some patterns, I did some journaling, I used the key and that helped me not only to drain my head, but also... to practice writing? It felt like I was in the middle of training grounds, becoming a better writer and also motivating myself to write. Just writing a single page seemed to be enough to jumpstart me into writing, so then I can start writing. Doing it on my native language too, which is something that I did not count upon. I even made a D&D character out of the blue.

Yeah, I had a good day. I just wasn't focused on what I was supposed to be focused. Expecting this to happen whenever I'm very stressed out with things that I can't change. August can't come soon enough, and I just want it to come now! Seriously, I want to skip this weekend. Voting is not the problem. Being part of the "volunteers" in charge of the center is. At best, it is a waste of time, because the government doesn't pay anything for our time, except a thank you for serving the country. It is mandatory, and skipping it means being kidnapped by the military and forced into the center, which nearly happened to my mom, and that was during the days when Venezuela was an actual free country! If you want to know how bad it is, participating in it grants you a loot that is far much worthless than 0 XP and 0 Gold.

Besides, since MCM was disqualified, I just went back to complete nihilism in the upcoming elections. Not only we could've had our first female president; we could've finally broke free from this regime! We are the first country in the Americas to have a transgender congresswoman! We could've done this if it wasn't because Maduro is afraid of MCM! Sure, the current opposition candidate is pretty much her puppet (I even hate to use this word, but this is politics we're talking about; everybody is a puppet of somebody), but is just not the same with the actual woman that everyone in the country feels represent Venezuela the best.

I don't even know what's going to happen after the election. All I know is that we'll be going through even more bullsh*t, no matter the result we get.

July 22nd, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 184

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 60 Seconds Backfists +EC
Count: 1544 - 1540 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 21 | Day 22
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
17 Full Burpees
75 Full Burpees
75 Full Burpees
WoD: Just Keep Swimming - LVL III +EC +Rest between levels
Monday +EC
Pretty Little Monster
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 20 Lunges
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 22
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 22 - This one is for me.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Experimenting, hobby writing, training grounds... Not progress, just practice.
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Another day struggling. I didn't wake up early today, but I managed to plan the entire week out, and I have to micromanage my blocks of time because... well, I'll say it straight: the only free day that I have is tomorrow. That's it. Take it or leave it. And even then, I only have one chunk of tomorrow I have busy, so... yeah, it's to work tomorrow, or to not work at all, and I need this story to be done by next week.

It's over. I'm no longer in the eye of the hurricane. I'm back at the clouds, so now I have to deal with lots of overwhelm, trying to figure out everything as I go about my days. I skipped working out today because I was pretty stressed out, and the heat is... I mean, my PC peaked at nearly 100ºC today. I had to shut it down right in the middle of my planning.

I'm also reconsidering my projects, and somehow, ended up with two because one of which lacks structure, while the other one is just a collection of short stories that I can do in ten weeks, with one story done weekly by spending four days of each week writing 1500 words, something that I can actually do between 60 and 120 minutes, so it doesn't hit much of my time. Nevertheless, I ended up fixing some stuff in my book with some small research, and looking up one of the books I read in the early 10's, back when John Katzenbach was a trend here in South America: The Analyst. My relationship with Katzenbach is a love/hate relationship. As a crime writer, I'm grateful that he is a writer, because he could be Jigsaw, judging by how he treats his main characters. Those psychological thrillers are quite tense; he really treats his characters like toys he can destroy as much as he likes. No, my issue with him is that the only book I read from him that has a good ending is What Comes Next. The rest of his books are like playing the original DooM: they are all fun, and then end with disappointment. Why can't he use his wicked mind to craft an actual satisfying ending is beyond me. Even State of Mind, my favorite book of his, ends in disappointment due to a cliffhanger that never got resolved.

But anyway, the structure from The Analyst is what I was actually ended up writing as I went to draft the first chapter of my book. Not the only book that uses such structure; Lost Light from Michael Connelly does the same, but it isn't divided by parts.

So that's what I did today when it comes with writing: structuring my book, and doing an extra piece of research that I required. I also did some journaling earlier today to figure out exactly what was going on in my head.

Now that I'm nearly done with Get to Bed on Time, I think I can attempt to do the Medieval Sleep.

July 23rd, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 184

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 20 Jumping Lunges +EC
Count: 1545 - 1541 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 23
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
8 Double Burpees
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 12 Double Burpees
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 23
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 23 - In bed on time? Check.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Planning
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

The electoral service is mandatory by law. Failing to do it means two things:

1. A fine of between 15 to 50 tax units, with each tax unit being worth 9 bolívares each. In a more readable currency, the fines are between around 3.17 and 12.37 US$. Counting inflation, the total amount wouldn't go beyond 20$. That doesn't sound so bad, until...
2. An arrest that is proportional to the tax units fined, with one day per tax unit. This means that you can spend from 15 to 50 days in jail, aside from the fine.

This is law. This is also disproportionate. I get the fine, but jail time? I think community service is a little too far, but makes more sense than jail time. I'm failing to show up to an electoral service, not doing drugs, for crying out loud! I'm not sure about it, but I think doing drugs is a criminal offense that carries far much less punishment than this.

So yeah, I'll just whistleblow this. Whenever you hear someone say that this is a free country, remember this post.

Knowing that was enough to send me straight into the border. There was no dopamine. Dopamine does not exist. There's only cortisol and adrenaline. I went through what was the biggest scare of my life. I did my thing online, and when I needed to print the certification, there was no option to print. You know what happened next? A full blown meltdown and a panic attack, both mixed together. I don't know how much I walked today, but I know that what I walked today was not enough to get me off the stress because, as I did my course, the entire week fell apart. I had to cancel the two classes that I had this week, meaning that stressing for those deadlines was a complete waste of time. Then, I realized that I have to be at the voting center on Friday and on Sunday, and I might need to be there on Monday; it depends on what I learn from Sunday because the course was incomplete (obviously!). So, as I was saying, I walked to the local electoral office, school, I don't even know, and I don't f*cking care enough to translate to English. So, I go there, AND IT IS CLOSED BECAUSE TODAY IS THE BIRTHDAY OF THE MOST WORSHIPPED WARLORD! Yeah, after reading a Wikipedia article, and combining my knowledge of Venezulan history that keeps increasing each day, I've come to the realization that this country never had actual presidents; all of them have been warlords, even before the Conquistadors from Spain came along to do their thing, but I digress. There are no heroes in this country.

Anyway, I go there, only to be told by the military that the agents from the electoral council aren't there, so I have to go back tomorrow morning to solve that issue. 50% of the stress vanished. I spend my afternoon, trying to take a breath, purchased three notepads that I'll need because one of my notepads is almost full, and then I come back, and what do you know? I can finally print my certificate! Now, I have to go to town tomorrow...

I called my dad, and almost got a complaint for calling him in a short notice, but to be fair, I've been called off at the last minute before, so I wanted to make sure. We managed to plan things out tomorrow morning, but he got glad for me being selected as a table member. Everyone is glad because I'm against the government, and it is very likely that there will be people in favor of the government, so I have to make sure the count is fair, and all these things, but no, I'm not glad about it. In fact, I'm hating every single second of it. Sure, the experience is interesting, and it seems fun, but do I have to do all of that? Do I have to get my shields up as the only civilian against the government in a place surrounded by assault rifles carried by men in green with the proper training? I'm not dying for this country anymore. As soon as I realized that all we had is warlords, I don't care about what happens on the 28th; I don't care about the aftermath, and I f*cking care less about being a table member, I am done! I went through a lot of sh*t this month, and I just want it to end! Please, let me skip the entire month already!

I can't sleep. I don't think I even want to sleep. I'm trying to figure out solutions in my head because I can't stay with my dad. One of the things that pushed me out of it was not only the distance, but he actually got a dog, and that dog hates my guts. Even when she was a puppy, she has always tried to bite my ankles. She's a fully grown pit bull, quite strong, and has actually hurt my dad one time she got excited when he came home. She knocked him to the floor. My dad is approaching his 70s. The last time I went, I couldn't leave the room without her noticing me, and preparing to attack. He refuses to believe that. I don't know why she hates me. I never did anything to her, and I never spent time with her, but she hates me fully. That's not my experience with dogs that don't know me though; many of them approach me don't care, others approach me without any issue, and the most cowardly ones run from me, but eventually warm up to me, and even become playful. It's just this particular dog that I'm afraid of, because she seems to know which parts to bite. You know how pit bulls are hated in many places? My dad is also part of that belief, so I don't know why him, out of all the people, got a pit bull for a gift, a man whom, as far as I know, never had a dog in his life. And, to be clear, I do not carry that belief. I don't have to because I've seen with my own eyes that all dogs are good bois and gurls, and it all depends on the people who raise them. I've dogsitted before, and I've had dogs before, and they've been all lovely. Hell, my first dog was a dalmatian!

So yeah, I'm working on solutions. Talking to other family seems alright. If nothing works out, I'll have to sacrifice some cash and stay at a nearby hotel. Honeslty? Deep down, I want that. Isolating myself in a hotel, just for a day, can actually give me the disconnect that I require to realign and actually focus on finishing this week, on finishing this month, and finally relax...

This month has been, by far, the worst month I've ever had this year, and possibly, the worst month I've had in my entire life. I do not want to go through this ever again. I am done. From the 29th until the 31st I am going to take a holiday, because I need it.

I've cancelled everything. I don't have time for anything anymore. The little time that I have will be only dedicated to a hobby, but I won't write, I won't journal, I won't keep going with my goals... I'll even stop working out. I'll probably end up doing the DD tomorrow, and that's my final work. I'll carry on once the weekend is over. I just need a break from everything. I can't have at least one meltdown on a daily basis. And I'm labeling them as such because now I know that's what they are. I've had them throughout my entire life, but now I know these are ADHD meltdowns.

July 24th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 184

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 50 Jumping Jacks +EC
Count: 1546 - 1542 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 24
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: Unrolled
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 24
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 24 - The lion sleeps (well) tonight. Editorializing: if this was the first time I've done this challenge, I would've taken that as a personal insult, considering the day I had.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope. Cancelled for the rest of the week.
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Ok, I managed to earn an extra day today, which I spent to rest my mind, and do some Burpees too. After doing a lot of research I figured out that I didn't need to stay the night tonight uptown, hence I'm posting. The electoral council screwed up, and I'm not sure if that was intentional or on purpose, but they did announce the time at we were supposed to be tomorrow morning to set up the tables. They just hid the official answer deep down into a PDF that was an annex to the manual they provided me in their online course... PDF that wasn't accesible from the platform, but rather a link somewhere else in the site.

I actually spent the entire morning looking for an actual source that confirmed the time, and I went with what the press said. It wasn't until a few hours ago that I struck with the hidden PDF. It was all legit, and from this year, so I got my confirmation, and finally my anxiety levels dropped severely.

Now I'm just wondering what will happen on Sunday. I'm the second member from the reserve, so if everyone shows up on Sunday, I might not be needed, and then sent straight back home after voting. Else, I would have to be there. Now, I can be there not only as a member, but also as a citizen for a couple of procedures that they do that are public, but they happen 12 hours after the tables open, so I'd rather be home instead.

The month is finally ending. I am finally seeing the storm passing over. There are only two questions that I have in my head right now: WHAT THE F*CK JUST HAPPENED THIS MONTH?! AND WHY?!

July 25th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 184

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 50 Jumping Jacks +EC
Count: 1547 - 1543 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 24 | Day 25
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: Unrolled
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 25
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 24 - The lion sleeps (well) tonight.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Cancelled until further notice
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

I woke up quite early today to do my legal duty and set up the tables. It was, as expected, a waste of time. The set up was easy. The thing is that we spent the entire morning doing nothing while we waited for the council to give us confirmation that we can secure the rest of the stuff and leave for the day. Now, I have to be there, on Sunday, at 3 AM and pray that I don't get picked, because if I do, then I'll have to be up until pretty much midnight.

Hence I'm cancelling the Get to Bed on Time for the weekend. My sleep is going to be so screwed up. I mean, everything got screwed up. I have some strange pain in my neck too...

This will be my last post on my log until the elections are over, or until I come back home. Whatever the case, I just want this weekend to be over so that I can rest for an entire week and go back to how things were before it all went down. Again, this month was horrible, and I do not want to repeat it, nor do I recommend someone to live through it. When Monday arrives, I'll finally take my well deserved mental break, and get actual sleep. I do not want to know anything about politics until that week is over. I couldn't care less for who is the winner, who is the loser, whether the elections are rigged or not, I didn't choose this responsability, and I have the right to say no to those who want to force me into scrutiny when I don't even have to IF, and ONLY IF, I am not picked to stay at a table on Sunday, because it all depends on whether the people who were summoned attend or not. I'm from the reserve, meaning that they have to go through two other people before they pick me, in case the ones who are supposed to come don't come.

As soon as I have an opportunity to come home, I'm taking it. I'm done. I don't want to go to the city for a long time. I want to stay at home, recover, and finally get to writing.

What a waste. What a complete waste. I want this weekend back.

July 26th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 184

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 60 Seconds Shoulder Taps +EC
Count: 1548 - 1544 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 26
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: Unrolled
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 26
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 25 - Aaand pause.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Cancelled until further notice
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[MadamMeow]

Hoping things go well for you and you do not get picked. Good luck!

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

Thinking of you and your country , hugs.

 

[Sólveig]

I've never felt more miserable before than this weekend. This is, by far, the worst weekend I've ever had in my life. I think my dad is having serious issues, and it is manifesting because his apartment looks like a hoarder's dream. That's only scraping the surface. Staying there felt like prison: having an aggresive dog meant that I had to stay in a room where a bed could barely fit, and I had to ask permission each time I had to go to the bathroom. My stepmother was there, surprisingly, and she was very supportive about the whole ordeal, while my sister was just stoic, though understanding. I do feel for her though, but I just wish living conditions over there were far much better.

Came in Sunday. Slept only for four hours and stayed up for a total of 22 hours. I got picked... well, sort-of. I still remained at the reserve, and could come and go as I pleased, but I chose to stay because the people at the voting center were struggling. We were friendly with each other, and joked around, and did our work perfectly. The issue came at night, when we closed, and started to send the result, only for the transmission to fail every single time. Even the two soldiers that were there since Monday were really tired of it; they wanted to go home just like the rest of us. The scrutiny said that Edmundo won in our center, and plenty of people around the country said it too, but the results shown at midnight were different. I was there. I read the scrutiny, and I even witnessed the opening of the box and the individual counting of each ballot. It was all legit, but the elections were rigged before the event happened.

Go figure, another eleciton rigged... Shocking.

Is the country happy about it? No. Will there be war or revolution? Not at all. Sure, people are pissed off, but that's it. A week from now, everything will go back to normal. In fact, today, everything is back to normal. The rules of the game remain the same. I'm more concerned about my dad situation.

He wanted me out. He wanted me out of the center, and even asked me a specific time on when I was coming out of it. I couldn't tell him a time. I didn't know a time because that's not up to me. Why he wanted me out? Because he was doomscrolling. Everyone was doomscrolling. I had to call him out on it when I was finally let out after our table closed, and the counting finished. Why you, out of all people, an actual journalist, is falling for fake news? Where are your sources? He told me to watch a video, and before I could even watch it I asked him how does he know that video is 100% legit, and not an old video that was dug up from another news and then thrown into WhatsApp to spam other people with fake news? Even worst, how do you know that video is not an AI creation? People all over said that there was a coup on call, and I was like... bro, if Edmundo really won the election (this happened before the final results were announed by midnight?, how come you can do a coup d'etat to an elected president that will enter office in January 2025? It doesn't make any sense!

But everyone here doesn't make sense. Everyone is so consumed by their phones, by media, that they don't recognize the truth even when it is right before them. I was by the bus on my way home listening to people that everything is closed today, yet we were at downtown, where all business were open. They even said malls are closed, when I went by a mall just ten minutes before and it was open! And the night before, the night of the elections, last night, everyone was so paranoid about a coup that wasn't even there to begin with. They said someone was murdered at gunpoint by thugs in a closeby avenue. We could've heard the gunshots, but there was no gunshots, and instead, fireworks. How are we so sure that they were fireworks? Because we saw them exploding in the sky!

Oh my... I don't. I don't... These people, I just... Argh...

I came back home with a sour goodbye. My dad didn't want me leaving, but I was tired, with little to no sleep, smelling like dirty dog, with my hands, arms, and feet filled with mosquito bites, and I just...

I'm done. I told him I'm going home. The transportation is not working? Well, I'm walking. I don't care if I live or I die, I am going home, whether you like it or not. You're not going to stop me from going home.

Now I came home, right on time. I was on the verge of tears at the bus, happy that the month is over, that the nightmare ended, and all of this pain is over. Nothing's changed. All I'm thankful for is that I'm home, and I can finally take a break from this awful month. I just want to cry. Even my gender dysphoria got triggered really badly last night, and it is making me shake right now. The only thing that I must do is to read my journal for the month and see what the hell just happened, and why was this month, by far, the worst month of my life.

Even my ex is calling me by the endearing names she used to call me by when we were together. That's how bad I feel.

All I know for certain is: whether Maduro or Edmundo, nothing changes. The rules of the game will remain the same, and the only thing I can do is do the only thing I can do: work on my self. True anarchy is to not allow for the ruler to rule your life, but for you to rule yourself on your own life. The issue is that people don't know what anarchy truly is, and will never know because... well, you already see what happens when even the truth is staring right at you.

No one can change the world, but all of us can change our own lives.

July 27th, 2024
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Daily Dare: 60 Seconds Alt Arm / Raised Leg Hold +EC
Count: 1549 - 1545 +EC

---

July 28th, 2024
The Right Side

 

[Sólveig]

I'm back home, as I stated, and now I'll go into more details about it.

Am I happy about the results? No. Am I joining the protests? Not at all.

I fought throughout my early to mid twenties against the regime. I am tired of it. Nothing came out of it but putting my life at stake for absolutely no reason. Many people who would be around my age by now are dead, and do we remember them? No. We discarded them completely. Their lives just wasted; sacrificed on failed revolutions for no good reason other than to further the power of the regime, because if what 1984 taught me is right, all tyrannies must have an opposition whose only work is to make sure the authoritarian government is still in place. Whether the rebel in question knows they are a puppet or not matters not; what matters is that their existence is only there to keep pushing down, to keep providing hope, and then keep destroying it. Their job is the same that the Amnesia potion has in Amnesia: The Dark Descent.

So, I choose to not follow that game anymore. I. Am. Done. Finished. No more. No more politics for me. I've been done with them for years, and I reassure my position that I won't participate in any of it. I will remain unaligned, as I always had for the past years. I am no puppet to be used. I am nothing more than an insignificant number among millions of people. Does Maduro know I exist? No. Does María Corina Machado knows I exist? Even less.

Then, why should I care for either of them if they do not know who I am? Am I truly entitled to just go to them, and ask them "please, why am I suffering? Why can't you end my suffering?" as people are doing with their protests, their denial?

Tough luck; the elections were rigged. How shocking. Are you surprised that happened? Because I was not. At which point did they rig the elections? Not from the voting centers as far as I know. Do I care how they rigged it? No. They own the country! They can do whatever they want!

So, what did I do? I accepted this. I accepted the reality. There is nothing about this that I can change. The rules of the game are the same, and will be the same for the next six years. I can't change the country. I can only change myself, and I already have the proof that I have more power than I need to. And it wasn't because I burned tires on the street and slammed on a pot so loudly that the entire town could listen to it, no! I used my entire will to come back home, and I did it. I used my will to figure out what went wrong in the past month, and I did it!

Is not a matter of changing the situation, but working in spite of it. It's about getting burned. It's about accepting the suffering, and use it to grow. I've done this before! I achieved this before! I was almost 100 kgs for a long time, and look at me now! I've been working out for six years, and now I'm doing over 100 Burpees on a daily basis, pretty much performing 150 Burpees for a warmup because they don't take too long! I am walking, I am fit, and I am proud on how far I've become! I've been writing for such a long time, future me is still anxiously expecting for me to feel the same feeling she's got once she started to see the money coming in due to her writing. Why, for the love of her, should I care about the current situation when I can just work in spite of it?

Did the blackout from 2019 stopped me? It was only a week long setback, and yes, I nearly killed myself with a knife to the throat, but I was still working out, even if it was from memory. That was only a year into my journey!

I can officially say that July of 2024 has been the worst month of my life. Nevertheless, it's over, and I am through with it. I am taking a break for this week, just to recover, to realign, and to finally plan my next venture. What I've went through is something I do not wish anyone, but I finally identified the problems during an hour long powercut that didn't stop me, and I even got some solutions. So yeah, I went back to journaling, and kept working out solutions for the issues. Wouldn't you know? Some of those solutions are actually things that I look forward into designing, and have fun designing. The plan remains the same. The rules remain the same. The mindset, however, is different. This time I am actively choosing to not engage is something that will not affect my life. This time I am choosing what affects my life and what does not.

Politics? No more! Now, I'll take back what I lost, and I'll gain double from it!

July 29th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 184

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 60 Side-to-side Chops +EC | 30 Twist Lunges +EC
Count: 1551 - 1547 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 26
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: Unrolled
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 27
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 25 - Aaand pause.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Cancelled until further notice
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

Glad to read you are home and safe, hugs.

 

[Sólveig]

This is what today, and yesterday, felt like.

What I can say is this: I've been through far much worse than what the country is going through right now. My first taste of nearly having my life endangered due to a protest came one time back in the early 10's when leftists groups burned down a truck at the entrance of university and stole the goods it was transporting it, calling it an act in the name to protest the university and other stuff that support the government... honestly, I didn't care about it. I was already too shocked for nearly being close to an explosion if my timing wasn't precise. I've hid myself inside my home during the protests of 2014, and I've done more things. I've mourned fellow milenials; some even neighbors, whom died during the protests of 2014 and 2017. Now, their names are forgotten.

People are toppling down the statues of Chávez. People started to protest yesterday, but today it started to feel more like just another regular day, like nothing has changed at all. Again, do I mind people protesting? No. I already protested enough, so I won't join. Besides, I've learned it now the hard way: those people don't even know who I am. To them, I am just another number on the population counter. Do I really want to give up my life to either of them? I know folks who certainly died for Venezuela. Do you even remember their names? At least three of them?

The country burns down, and me, I'm just doing back my Burpees, journaling, and figuring out what the hell went wrong last month, how do I fix the harm done by the things that went wrong, and how do I prevent such stuff from happening. I've even came up with a kit for contingencies to open up whenever a common issue comes around my day, a thing which I'll open quite often in my bad days. There was a power surge, but it wasn't really huge, and it didn't affect me. In fact, I'm starting to realize that I'm not letting things affect me personally no more. As soon as I accepted the situation, I am no longer suffering. Instead, I'm going to thrive in spite of it and become a legend; the pariah who chose to fight the only war that was worth fighting for: improving oneself. What goes on around me are just the rules of the game, and like I said, they remain unchanged.

170 Burpees done today, and more will come as the week keeps going. I'm tempted to go back from my rest, but I'm resisting the urge. Instead, I want to trust the process, and allow myself to recover for the rest of the week. No writing until next Monday. Right now, all I want is to chill, to enjoy this little vacation as the fire settles, and to have fun. After a hard month, I've earned a respite.

Did you know some people thrived during 2020? I always wondered how did they do it, how did they even claim that it was the best year of their lives. Now, I understand it. Funny enough, some of those people who thrived in 2020 that I know are in a complete state of dispair after the rigged elections. I guess they didn't know how they thrived, but now I unlocked the code.

Things started to come easier now. Creative ideas are flowing back to me, but I'm not developing anything, nor even writing them down. Is not because they are flawed, or that I don't trust them, it's because I just want to rest, and I'd rather discard them on purpose, even if I won't have them back ever again.

July 30th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 184

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 10 Jump Squats +EC
Count: 1552 - 1548 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 26
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
8 Double Burpees w/Jump Knee-Tuck
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 12 Double Burpees w/Jump Knee-Tuck
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 27
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 25 - Aaand pause.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Cancelled until further notice
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Uh, actually, I forgot to workout today. Well, I did not. I just hyperfocused on playing Pathfinder that I didn't realize the time went up until it the sun went down. I still rolled the DAREdice and did the program, but this one's on me. My bad!

Is not like I didn't do Burpees though, but they did happen after I had breakfast. No EC for me today! Still, it was a fun day. I actually needed to immerse myself into a hobby, and playing Pathfinder solo was a good choice. This campaign is something that I started back on 5e, but then I figured that the character I'm playing would work much better as a Pathfinder Alchemist rather than a 5e Artificer.

Pathfinder 2e. Kitsune Tiefling. The tailless form is one of an Elf Tiefling instead of a Human Tiefling. The rest remains the same. Right now she's a level zero character, but I did add the Class Apprentice option, so she does have an Alchemist feature at least. Once the current part ends, I'll finally make her a full Alchemist.

July 31st, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 184

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 30 Seconds One Arm Plank Hold +EC
Count: 1553 - 1549 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 27
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 8 Lunges
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 28
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 25 - Aaand pause.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Cancelled until further notice
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[MadamMeow]

Glad you had a nice fun day!

 

[Sólveig]

Glad you had a nice fun day!

Thank you! Taking this week to relax was definitely a good choice, and I'm having fun playing Pathfinder by myself! I'm actually getting the hang of solo roleplaying now, and Pathfinder 2e is a system that I always end up falling in love with more and more, not for the crunch, but because it has such depth in character customization that I can pretty much make anything, and it won't be a bad build!

---

As for yesterday, I had to forgo my Burpees on a walk. While I do feel a bit bad about it, is not that I feel horrible. I hung out with my mom, and that was nice. I'm doing my best to not let things affect me, but it is tough because everyone is on edge. I've heard a rumor that they are arresting us; witnesses and members who worked on the voting centers on Sunday during the election. 50% of me was skeptical, but the other 50% knows that that is something that the government would do. Since I wasn't home yet, I started to analize things on how would they do such a thing. Arrest warrants are meaningless, so that's a part of bureaucracy they'd skip. Then, there's the problem with the jails and prisons being overpopulated. Do they really have enough space for nearly a million people? Then I heard mom say that people took pictures of when they were voting and that explained it to me quite a lot. We were told, more than once, that phones were tolerated inside the voting center, meaning that people could have them, but they couldn't use it. Us members and witnesses were allowed to, but only in certain moments. What was completely forbidden is to take pictures and videos inside the voting center, even more forbidden inside the table. Those who took photos of themselves before the voting machines pretty much were breaking the rules, and knowing this government, it means right to jail, so it makes sense. That's not allowed.

When we got back home, I decided to fact check on that, and... yeah, it was a rumor that not even the press got to it. If that was true, X would've blown up by now, but nothing like that happened. It was just another psychological warfare attempt. People love to spread rumors on WhatsApp, and everyone believes it. Besides, it doesn't make sense for the government to arrest us for the reason to legitimize the rigging of the elections. Why would they arrest us to sign new papers and things when they have access to even our biometric data? It is far cheaper to use AI to do that, honestly.

What I woke up today was that people in the protests got arrested, and humiliated on national TV. Their heads were shaven, they were put in prisoner's jumpsuits, and put into a military formation, forced to do the Chávez salute. Quite frankly, to see that, on X, was terrifying. It made me feel like I was Winston Smith working at Minitrue. It was the most orwellian thing I've seen the government do, and I could've been among them if this happened like... ten years ago. Thankfully I'm pass that, and honestly, is not that things got worse after the elections. No, that hadn't happened yet. I said it before: the rules of the game remain the same. It just so happens that people are mad this week, and as the international community slowly goes back into the Palestine-Israel conflict, everyone will eventually forget about this. I mean, things are already cooled down in my area. Business are slowly starting to work at their regular times, and by the time next week rolls around, nothing will change. Just more people in prison for expressing themselves.

Not me, though. I've fought enough in my early twenties, and all I got was fellow milenials and zoomers dropping like flies for no reason than solidify an opposition that only vowed for their own interests instead of the intersts of the people. I am done with politics, and I will remain unaligned for the rest of my life. I already know this tyranny won't go with votes, and Venezuelan history says that it won't go away until the armed forces rebel, but there are too many brasses in them, and they all have a slice of the pie. People think they are bought by money, but if one reads Machiavelli, one knows that money is not the only currency that buys people. Bribery and blackmail are also good methods of persuasion for a prince.

All I'm saying is that I've learned quite a lot for my books, which is what I will remain focused on. I kept playing Pathfinder too, and it is motivating me to keep working on things. I've also picked back up my special journal, and I'm putting back words on it again. The week has been long so far, but everything is starting to settle. Nothing changes, with the exception that I'm knowing my weaknesses and strengths better, and I woke up today with an idea of the things that I would include in my universe, since that's all I can focus on right now. My books, my journal, and my workouts.

August 1st, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 184

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 60 Seconds Punches +EC
Count: 1554 - 1550 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 28
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 4 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 29
Lower Body Blast: Day 1
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 25 - Aaand pause.
Bucket List:
Empty right now

---

Writing progress:
Cancelled until further notice
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

TW: Suicidal ideations. Skip straight to the date if you want to see what I did today.

A fronte praecipitium, a tergo lupi. In front of you, the precipice; behind you, wolves. This sentence has been on my mind today, mainly because I committed the biggest mistake I could've committed: I doomscrolled. I know I make it sound like a big deal when it shouldn't be, but it is for me because...

I've been anxious today. I wanted to be creative, but remained paralyzed by the anxiety, and all I could think of is when is this going to end. I went through this before several times, but this time feels even more repressive, like my life is at risk... probably because I know I'm suicidal, and this is something that I did not count of. The plan was to get over with July, take a week off, and then pick things back up on where I left off, not be ready for what could become a fully blown civil war. We do have a word here in Venezuela: psicoterror, which can be roughly literally translated to psi-terror. That pretty much means the lingering fear of a threat, say for instance the news say that there's a serial killer on the loose, and you happen to live in the area where they operate, so you start being suspicious about anyone that comes near you... that feeling right there, that's psi-terror. It's that lingering fear that can even happen when you're a kid, and your strict parent tells you to be good or else... That right there is psi-terror. Everyone has mastered the use of it here, and today, the psi-ops all over the Internet was horrifying, to the point that I could not distinguish truth from lie... so I doomscrolled for an entire hour, and then I left out completely anxious.

I'm shaking right now. I am in a state of fright. Not only that, but the suicidal ideations came strong, to the point it brought me back to the day I nearly off'd myself with a kitchen knife. I held a pocket knife and thought about doing it once again, only to put it back where it was. It's that fear, that lingering fear on what will happen to me. I didn't ask my number to be drawn. I didn't ask to be on the table, which is only part of my fear. Then there's what I showed yesterday, and the knowledge of things that brought me back to both Stalin's Soviet Union, Hitler's Germany, and Orwell's Oceania.

I did Burpees to shake the anxiety off. I finished the Posture challenge and the Back & Core program to also shake the anxiety off. Nothing is working. I don't even feel like journaling. Not only I regret doomscrolling, but all I'm thinking of right now is to run somewhere... anywhere... just far from society, and wait for this whole house of cards to fall. Apparently tomorrow will be an important day, and...

Yeah, like I said, I had enough of politics. I want to be like Khalil Gibran and live a life out of any political involvement. Twenty years of it is enough. My head hurts, I feel like I want to cry, and all I want is for the chaos to end. I don't even care about the outcome; I just want for the entire house of cards to fall and resume to my normal life because... even though I hate it, it doesn't matter who has the crown, for my plans remain unchanged, and so are the rules. Can't this random event end tomorrow? Haven't we had enough conflict?

Clearly, independence from Spain was a huge mistake. I've studied it, and as always, it all goes back to that day on an April Thursday from 1810, right on the Easter week.

August 2nd, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 184

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees
Daily Dare: 40 Knee-to-elbows +EC
Count: 1555 - 1551 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Back & Core: Day 29 | Day 30
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 4 Squats
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 35

---

Challenges:
Posture: Day 30
Lower Body Blast: Day 2
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 60/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 26 - It's time.
Bucket List:
Empty right now

---

Writing progress:
Cancelled until further notice
1500 Get!
Writing Tiers:
500 Words
1000 Words
1500 Words

---

Reading progress:
Can't Hurt Me - 11%
Mozart - 6/20 Chapters

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Double post, but here's hoping the chaos does not go beyond this week. Praying the gods for it.