The Paragon Path Towards An Epic Destiny

[Fremen]

Congrats

 

[Sólveig]

@MadamMeow @Anek @Syrius @Fremen Thanks!

---

Things got cancelled yesterday because I completely forgot I was invited to a birthday party, so the walk turned into a walk to that place, and the training got suspended. I also had to suspend my class because they've been fixing the street, so it was all very noisy. Yeah, they've been fixing the avenue after a very long time, probably because the queen is coming. Yep, our beloved leader is coming to town tomorrow, so everything must look nice to keep the façade that things are actually doing pretty well. They are going to be opening some apartment or building complex that we all know it is going down in a few months, mostly because it was built with cheap materials and by people who might not be capable enough to do the project. If you played Tropico, you know the kind of ugly building I'm talking about.

If I didn't do Before Breakfast Burpees, I'd feel very guilty about not working out. But, once I came back home, I grabbed my dumbbells and did some bicep curls and tricep extensions to make up for the missed session. I figured I should use them more often for days like this. Again, is not that I feel bad; it is actually on me because I completely forgot that I had that commitment, and I didn't plan accordingly. The only cancellation I had was the guitar class, which I moved for Thursday.

So, 50 Burpees yesterday. And started the next week of the Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself meditation program.

April 30th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 175

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 40 Plank Rotations +EC
Count: 1461 - 1457 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 2, Day 1 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
3 x 20 Bicep Curls
3 x 20 Tricep Extensions
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches - Stretch #2 (30 Seconds per leg, 1 set)
DAREdice: 10 Sit-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Waiting next month
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 22 - This one is for me.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Edited 812 words
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 77%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Mamatigerj]

Cheers!

 

[Sólveig]

@Mamatigerj Thanks!

 

[Sólveig]

Yesterday was a bit heavy for me to work. There was a longer powercut than Monday, which I spent sleeping, and I had to struggle against a lot of restlessness for getting overly stimulated by a lot of things that got me hyped up and excited. I had to take a break for 15 minutes to meditate just to go back to normal, and I still didn't get any work done considering that I was pretty overwhelmed with things. I thought about drawing, and I could've drawn, but I didn't. Same with writing. At least I plopped a plot in a document, and put it on paper before outlining. I mean, there was an attempt on things...

May 1st, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 176

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 60 Seconds Jumping Jacks +EC
Count: 1462 - 1458 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 2, Day 2 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
WoD: I Like to Move It, Move It! - LVL III +Megaset
One Kick (Side Kick) - LVL III +EC +Rest between levels
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 20 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 1
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 22 - This one is for me.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 77%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

I managed to wake up early! And then I wasted the entire morning.

But I woke up early! That's a first step! Even though I went to bed the night before, I woke up early, which was good!

I also had my class and had Qi Gong, which didn't give time to do anything. However, Qi Gong was good. In fact, it was on point with the book that I'm practicing. Part of me wants to believe it happened because of the arguments that support the theory of the book, even though it is slightly out there... Nevertheless, it was a good session, both in Qi Gong and in meditation.

Because I didn't have enough sleep, I skipped the Burpees. I was about to do them, but the lack of sleep triggered the familiar headache that I needed some sleep, so I opted out. It's fine, really. Again, that's exactly the reason why I incorporated Burpees in the morning: as a safeguard in case I don't get to do them. Doing Burpees before breakfast only builds more anticipation for it, and it makes me crave to do hard stuff instead of the easy. It's the do the job and get the reward thing; something about classical conditioning. I want to bring this principle to the things that I struggle with, mostly work, mainly writing. Again, is not that I don't like to write (it's quite the opposite, really), but I have a hard time beginning due to perfectionism and easy distractions. Besides, I'm trying to adjust myself to this crazy schedule that's caused by the powercuts and stuff.

May 2nd, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 176

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 60 Seconds Supergirl Stretch +EC
Count: 1463 - 1459 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 2, Day 3 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Ba Han Sheng Qi Gong: The Everyday Progress, the Transcendence of the Moment
Qi Gong Ideogram: Jin - The Progress
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 8 Squats
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 2
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 22 - This one is for me.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 77%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:
Guitar class

 

[Sólveig]

Another wasted day. There was a powercut, but it wasn't as demotivating.

Actually, I don't think it was completely wasted. It was mostly focused on the wrong thing. There were attempts to fix it, but none were successful.

No going to bed early tonight, so...

E: Missing link.

May 3rd, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 177

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 30 Leg Raises +EC
Count: 1464 - 1460 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 2, Day 4 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
WoD: One Kick (Side Kick) - LVL III +EC +Rest between levels
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches - #2 to #6
DAREdice: 8 Lunges
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 3
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 23 - In bed on time? Check.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 77%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Again, another wasted day. I woke up very late, and I also had my day eaten up by a meeting that I knew about, but never knew the time and day until a few hours before. I had to cancel everything, plus I'm doing a journalling exercise that's taking me a very long time to complete. I'm doing it because I have these questions in my head that need answering, thus that's the only way I can get an answer.

No workout today, but at least I journalled? I don't know... Again, every step forward that I take, I get 10 steps back. Realizing this makes me want to quit everything. Just stop writing and let it be a pipe dream. The problem is that I can't. If I do that, I feel like I would die.

May 4th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 177

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 40 Alt Arm / Leg Raises +EC
Count: 1465 - 1461 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 2, Day 5 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
WoD: Express Abs +EC
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 20 Squats
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 4
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 23 - In bed on time? Check.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 77%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Things started to get weird during my meditation program. Alright, I'll confess: I have visions in long meditation sessions. These are pretty much the same as the dreams you'd have, but I'm awake and in some sort of control of them, provided that I'm always snapping back into them whenever I digress (something that I do since I created a trigger for it). Let's call them lucid dreaming, even though it isn't literally lucid dreaming, but it is similar. Things took a turn for something that I did not expect, and now I'm both concerned and feeling incredibly blessed. It's like I was handed out a cursed item, but the item provides a lot of benefits... which is something that happened in yesterday's D&D session too, right at the end?

What a freaking coincidence.

Anyway, D&D was fun. While I know that our DM is inspired by Dante's Inferno (both the videogame and that book from the Divine Comedy), today we went through a trial in the Circle of Lust, which felt completely moot because... well, my character is an Order Cleric; a cult leader who thinks of herself as a goddess of love and lust. And I'll put a Trigger Warning right here because I'll mention some dark topics, so skip to the next paragraph. Anyway. That conflict actually put itself into interesting discussions, because we've redeemed souls from the lust circle for sins such as "infidelity" and "sodomy," with my character arguing that there are far much worse sins than that, like sexual abuse. I actually built her using the God template from Pathfinder 2e, and it is right there, under anathemas, rape, sexual abuse, incest, child abuse, and treason are written, and treason is a huge deal for her because it is known, in this universe (which is my creation), that the majority of gods are traitors to themselves and the mortals, so she wants to challenge that concept. For her sodomy should never be a sin as it is an outdated worldview (and in this world it isn't, but considering the backstory of the world...), and infidelity shouldn't be considered a harsh punishment because, while yes it is a form of treason, there have been more harmful treasons than that. We actually paused the game a few times to even think about her arguments. It really turned up an interesting session. Seriously, what actually started out as a joke character to be completly chaotic because "funny to think of Belle Delphine as an ORDER Cleric who thinks herself as a goddess" lended itself into one of the most interesting characters I've created, right beyond the chaotic the concept it has. It's even more endearing for me because the other players actually helped up in the process; they're the ones who came up with her appearance other than Belle is being casted to play this Cleric.

The boss fight, though, was epic. Our DM is a power gamer (let's face it: we all are), and almost got us into a TPK. We faced an enemy while we were deafened, and blinded under magical darkness, and the enemy was quite fast, but I managed to save the day. I had two items with me that helped us during that fight: the Mace of Disruption, and a Broom of Flying. Holding the Mace of Disruption was enough to see the boss, and actually look where she slipped off in the darkness, and the Broom of Flying helped me to overcome her high speed and overcome the difficult terrain by flying. This alone helped the Barbarian in our group to chase her and tank everything, and after two WIS failures, and a precise use of Hold Person (spell given by the Order Domain), the Barbarian mauled that boss into bits.

None of us have hated a boss so much more than that. The Tempest Cleric of our group got down, I was nearly down, going from 110 HP to 10 HP (we're at 11th Level right now), our Bard almost died too... The Barbarian was the only one who survived long enough, probably because he has a huge pool of HP. He didn't rage at the start of combat though, because that's when the darkness got us.

Fun fact: our Barbarian is a Black Bearkin. Recently, bear memes are all the rage, and we couldn't help but laugh how we got ahead of them since the campaign started. The reason this player chose Bearkin is because we're based upon a fantasy-Russia, and he has a pinch for very simple character concepts. Because of the spike about that Tik Tok question, the DM pretty much told us that everyone is falling in love for Bearkins now, and the rest is history. Honestly, I don't want to partake in that stupid meme by stating an answer; I just found it so hilarious that we had to shitpost in the campaign too. Are we Simpsons screenwriters or what?

I do want to play a Bearkin at some point, but I want to represent my country, and make it be a Spectacled Bear. There's no mechanics for it, but that doesn't mean I can't homebrew it. It is a homebrew race, after all...

May 5th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 177

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 30 Calf Raises +EC
Count: 1466 - 1462 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 2, Day 6 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 16 Sit-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 5
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 23 - In bed on time? Check.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 77%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Ok, things started to clear up, albeit I have some tasks that I can do easily, but they both get me out of my comfort zone. On the other hand, yes, it is more time wasted, but... I finally found the thing that's been bugging me, and the answer was so on the nose that I just want to kick myself in the ass so hard that I'd be travelling in a one-way ticket to the Andromeda galaxy. Seriously, the answer was always right on my nose, so much so that you would be shocked, surprised, amused, or outright completely going numb for me being this stupid.

Warm-ups! I'm talking about warm-ups! You know, the ones that DAREBEE has, and the ones that ANYBODY does before starting their training session. THAT's what I need to get in the zone. Not just opening the document and straight up working, but actually do something before for five minutes that is related to what I'm doing. For instance, if it is writing, just vent for five minutes, or do a quick prompt, or something. This is something that people do on art classes: quick gesture drawings of several poses for a few seconds, and then less poses for minutes, until the real lesson, which is the longest time. And I freaking realized this because, as soon as I finish journalling something, I'm always in the mood to keep writing, but I always plan my journalling sessions in such a way that I don't get to write next.

Instead of putting of the D&D session, why not just work on it as a warm-up?

I, honestly, want to flip my laptop for figuring this out. Of course I should go for a warm-up instead of going cold turkey! Seriously! You know what's the hardest part about doing 150 Burpees? Is it resisting throughout the 150 reps? No! The hardest part is doing the first Burpee! It's so much easier to do no Burpees than to a single Burpee, but it is far much easier to do 100 Burpees than to do one Burpee. I did 300 today! Do you think I'm freaking amused for figuring this out?!

I don't know. I'm just going to bed very late now, considering how much of my day got squished by a late powercut, and a random encounter that I only faced because it is for someone, because if there wasn't that someone involved, I wouldn't be involved at all.

By the way, my right knee is feeling funny since last night, so I took it soft on the Burpees, in spite of the large number of reps. I chose Epic Glutes because. I'll link everything tomorrow; I'm not in the mood. I am completely undignified.

May 6th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 177

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 40 Clamshells +EC
Count: 1467 - 1463 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 2, Day 7 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
Monday +EC
Epic Glutes +EC
Extra Burpees:
17 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
25 Full Burpees
25 Full Burpees
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches - #2 30 seconds per set, 1 set per leg.
DAREdice: 16 Jumping Jacks
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 6
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 23 - In bed on time? Check.
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 77%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Positive: it was overall a good day, even though I had my time eaten through, I managed to overcome the obstacles. While I didn't write, I had a good guitar class, and had a good workout session that'll be linked below.



My friend, it has been such a while. EC is still 20 Plank Rotations (I think?), but the old version is one that I love... even if the Sit-ups are killing me, but I can train them. I do want to have Tank Top back into my routine.

Negative: Late night powercut. Not as late, as it started at 7 PM, but... have you ever tried to sleep in a hot and humid environment? Sleep is not the correct word; it is more like "bathing in your own sweat," even after a shower. I had plans, and I had to do them at midnight, after getting only two hours of sleep on the floor, naked and sweaty until the sweet sound of the fan turning on came up. I went straight downstairs to shower again, shave, do the meditation that I almost missed, and had only three hours of sleep, hence I am posting this right now!

I am craving for dopamine today, so I'm taking the day off. Just Burpees for today, and I'll post about them next. I'm still sleepy, but I have some things to talk about... things that excite me.

May 7th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 177

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 40 Side Kicks +EC
Count: 1468 - 1464 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 3, Day 1 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
Tank Top - LVL III +EC +60 Seconds Rest +Old Version
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches - #2 and #3
DAREdice: 16 Jumping Jacks
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 7
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 81%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:
Guitar class

 

[Sólveig]

I took a break. I almost got attacked by killer bees on my way to the hospital this morning, but they didn't seem to notice me. In fact, the powercut got me there while I waited, but it didn't last long, at least. And hey, I managed to actually do Burpees before breakfast! I was not expecting to do so after sleeping so poorly, and I'll be going to bed as soon as I'm done posting.

It could've waited until tomorrow, but honestly, I can't contain my excitement. I took a break today because, well, sleeping problems. The powercut last night slayed my good night sleep completely, and it affected everyone in town. However, what happened today in therapy was probably the thing that I wanted to have all this time. Instead of having an order, I actually got triggered to perform the action instead. Something started to shift last night, and it finally shifted completely in therapy. My therapist got me on the green light. He pretty much said that I should start transitioning now that I'm mentally ready for it. The book, the exercises, his teachings... everything is working, and while there's still a lot of work to do, he wants me to become the girl that I've been envisioning over the meditation sessions in the program, even more after I jotted down the very revolutionary purpose of my transitioning itself.

Fear has been withholding me so much for so long that it is time for me to let go, and I shouldn't let go just like that. He wants to add more positive things in my subconscious to outweight those negatives that I've had due to my traumatic upbringing. Meditation works, but I also need to turn things around, like automatic answers that I have, and must question the automatic answers themselves and turn them around. For instance, I say to myself "what if I'm rejected," and then I turn it by asking myself immediately "what if I'm accepted." In the meantime, I am thinking about picking things back up, things that I dropped off for some reason that I don't really know. Like I said before, every step forward that I take, I also take 10 steps back. However, I got some goals for tomorrow that I'll be writing down.

I have two things to help me on this journey, at least to start. I have two lists of people that inspire my future self, and I kept them very short for once, totalling to just seven. Two for voice, five for aesthetics. I would say six, but I'm not trying to overwhelm myself too much by now. Just little by little. As for the things I must bring back, well, I must go back to teenage me with the necklaces, and go back using a bandana as a wristband. Then, I'll pick it up from there to at least start looking the part and slowly shift into androginy, so that the final change isn't too drastic.

Yes, transphobia is still a concern, but I just had enough of being afraid. At the end of the day, the thing that's stopping me is me. I'm using my own fear as an armor, and if you've read The Knight in Rusty Armor, you know what would happen after wearing said armor for far too long: it gets stuck, and you can't get out. Now I become the titular Knight, and that Dragon appearing in my visions now makes complete sense as to why it had to be THAT Dragon in particular. I feel like I should read that book again. It is a very short novel.

May 8th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 177

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 20 Hop Heel Clicks +EC
Count: 1469 - 1465 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 3, Day 2 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 8 Lunges
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 8
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 81%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[MadamMeow]

That is amazing, I am very excited for you. Sending positive vibes!

 

[Sólveig]

Today was a reminder on why I hate this neighborhood so much, and why sometimes I feel the president of our non-profit isn't qualified for the role. I'll spare you the details because everything is gossip, and the president nearly brought gossip to the association as a whole. If it wasn't because I got told about it, I wouldn't have found out, and it affected me because it involved my family. All I can say is that I hate gossip, and I hate how this entire neighborhood is able to craft amazingly complicated stories that are so over the top that even Wattpad writers are put to shame. Yes, I said that! As if Wattpad wasn't enough of a poorly written drama cesspool. Even to this day, there's people who think I'm my mom's husband after literally seeing me grow up from a 10 year-old kid into a 30 year-old grown ass person. It was even worse when my older brother came.

I mean it: why can't people stick their noses into their own stuff instead of spreading fake rumors about other people's lives? Whoever came up with that rumor I'll say that they are lucky that I was the one who heard it and not my brother, or else things would've gotten pretty bad. The thing that wasn't surprising to me is that my mom discovered the church as the possible source, which once again, isn't surprising. The old ladies at the church are very disrespectful and are the queens of gossip. I mean, I am no friend of the Christian god, but the last thing I expected for him to be is Orwellian. There's a group in church that has a name that would make Orwell proud for its way of applying the doublethink into it. Again the last thing I expected for the Christian god to be is Big Brother.

Why is this neighborhood filled with gossip? I don't know, and I don't care! After meditating about it, I just gave up and simply decided to stop caring about what would the others think. They'll just see an F word anyway when I'll end up walking around in androgynous outfits. People always focus on the messenger and not the message. People always focus on the package, and not what's inside. This neighborhood is no exception, but rather the writers of such unwritten rule.

Anyway, the negative is out, just like my clothes. I'll explain: I set aside some pieces of clothing that I'll donate because I won't be using those anymore. I would've added my polos because polos are a mistake of fashion, and no one will change my mind about it, but I kept them because I might need them because of work related issues, like, I have to go to a place where I need to wear a polo, and such. I don't understand what is the obsession with polos in Venezuela, but whatever. As for other clothes, some I put them on the pile for upciclyng considering that I can repurpose the fabric into other things, and others I put them in another place so that I could either feminize them, or even turn thm into completely different pieces of clothing altogether. I spent most of my day on Pinterest, taking more steps and notes as to what I could do with what I have. I ended up rescuing a long-sleeved shirt that I didn't know what to do with, until I showed it to my girlfriend and she gave me some ideas. That's when the whole transforming those clothes begun.

I ended up freeing an entire drawer where I loaded those up. I also ended up with nice boards, and now I am feeling confident on what I'll do next.

The reason I'm posting this late is because the water came. No going to bed on time today. But yay for actual victories that are small steps, but feel huge. I guess this is why I failed last time: fear was holding me back, and I didn't have any idea on how to deal with it. There's a lot of pain and trauma in my backstory, which is why I said that I realized it was over after my failed suicide attempt. The thing is is that I'm carrying the dead body of my previous self out of fear, as a way of self-preservation method, like the armor that I mentioned yesterday. I just didn't realize how big of a crutch it is, and I can't allow fear to control my life the way it has been doing for far too long.

That's what I'm doing in these meditations: orienting that fear into being the energy that pushes me forward instead of the thing that holds me down. I can't change my past, but I can grow from my trauma, and I don't need to let things that affected me before affect me in the future. I guess taking some clothes, trying them out, clasiffying them, and getting rid of the things that I don't need counts as a way of healing. Out with the things that I can get rid of, embrace the old wounds, and transform the bad feelings into good ones. After all, the worst things I've experienced are the best things that could have ever happened to me.

May 9th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 177

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 40 W-extensions +EC
Count: 1470 - 1466 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 3, Day 3 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
Ba Han Sheng Qi Gong: The Everyday Progress, the Transcendence of the Moment
Qi Gong Ideogram: Jin - The Progress
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches - Stretches #2 to #5
DAREdice: 8 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 9
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 81%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Maegaranthelas]

I hope these steps help you feel more like yourself, you deserve that feeling

 

[Sólveig]

@Maegaranthelas Pinterest is helping me with it, plus some journalling efforts. I'm actually considering starting to transform one t-shirt as soon as I make the time for it because I have the idea still fresh on my head.

 

[Sólveig]

Ok, I don't feel good at all. I mean, the powercut didn't feel like it lasted too long because I decided to read a couple of books. I figured I should read the Knight in Rusty Armor again, and in conjuction with Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, it ended up being one heck of a reading. I realized that this is one book that everyone should read always at different points in their lives, because each time there's a new lesson to be learned. I also started its sequel: the Return of the Knight in Rusty Armor, and it is proving to be just as good, though the themes are now about marriages that went south instead of self-development, but it makes sense judging the way the first book began. I actually wanted to read it because of the dragon in my visions, and I just imagined how I could beat it to a pulp for giving me 30 years of fear and doubt. Fun stuff. That's why I play D&D.

I also made an amazing lunch, and had quite a daring session for Burpees. I finally managed to do 100 in one go for the second time in my life, and I was going to add more reps, but I was out of air by that point. It was good. Even with the powercut, it was a good day for journalling, and realizing how I could use my journalling not only to go back into writing, but also how my journal could break me free from the things that got me into my current hiatus: perfectionism, and the feel that I've been making the same story over and over again.

However, things just took a turn for bad. I actually did my meditation tonight, and got burned. Like really bad. In that vision, the flames of chaos turned to be real so badly that I felt the burn, and I'm still feeling it now. I came with one specific intention: to face one specific fear that I think has been putting me down; one that's related to gossip: the fear of "what would people say." I put four groups of people, and dealt with the first one: my parents. I thought it was going to be quick, but I went so deep into it that my journey through the flames in my vision turned into actually myself getting immolated by them, so that I had to be rescued. It was a nightmare that left me crying too much, because the burn is not just an odd thing. It's actually a realization that's been within me for a long time, and part of me hates that I have to wait two months before therapy, but it's just... conflicting. I didn't know I had this feeling in me, and now I realized it is there.

I hate my parents. The prison that I thought myself to be inside, I thought it was something that I built in my own. Today, I realized I was wrong. It was my parents who did it, and they are still my jailors. That's how much I'm willing to reveal. Now, I don't know what to do with this information. I'm just going to spend the night journalling.

I'll leave you with the song that got me into tonight's session. I love its name, and I truly am trusting the process... even if it is painful. Then again, that is the fear I'm trying to overcome: the fear of pain.

May 10th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 178

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 30 Crunch Kicks +EC
Count: 1471 - 1467 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 3, Day 4 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
100 Full Burpees
25 Full Burpees
25 Full Burpees
One Kick (Side Kick) - LVL III +No rest between sets
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches - Stretches #2 to #5
DAREdice: 8 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 10
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 81%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[graoumia]

So sorry @Sólveig but it seams to be a necessary step, and if you need to wait for therapy, you are making progress.
take care

 

[Maegaranthelas]

Big hugs for you, that is not a fun revelation, but it sounds like a necessary one

 

[Fremen]

 

[TopNotch]

One of the problems about being human is that we have the capacity to think about things that may potentially happen, and often these potential outcomes paralyse us, inhibit the actions we know we must take in order to move forward in our lives. If you're worried about what people might say, think of a wound. The bandaid is on but it's time for it to come off. If you rip it off quickly, sure it'll hurt but that pain will fade quickly and the wound will be better off for being in the fresh air. If you linger, don't pull off the bandaid, the wound underneath begins to fester. Slowly you pick at the bandaid and each tiny bit it lifts hurts so you stop for a bit and then it hurts again and the wound continues to fester without the clean air. Sometimes you've just got to take off the brakes and rip off that bandaid.
Hating your parents - I understand that (though for different reasons, of course). But hating them doesn't affect them, it only affects (and hurts) you. You give power to those you blame.
(Doing the tough love here again. And I know, it's easy for me to say this sort of thing - I'm not in your position).

A book I read recently said this:
"If you fill your days with pity, sorrowful for the way you have been treated, bemoaning your lot in life, blaming your circumstances on someone or something else, then life will be long and hard. If, on the other hand, you refuse to give up on your dreams, stand tall and strong against the odds - then life will be what you make of it - and you can make it great."
So much of what you've revealled on your thread shows that you are strong, you can stand tall.

 

[Sólveig]

Thank you guys, I woke up questioning things today, but I'm focused on preparing my D&D session today; it gives me something to focus my energy on, and to have a bit of an escape while the flames of such revelation settles down.

@TopNotch The problem with the mind is that you can't rip off bandaids quickly. The unconcious mind is a complete bastard (my therapist's words) that refuses to operate in the same level of reality than the concious mind, thus ripping off the bandaid quickly is impossible. It has to be slowly done; it's the only way to let the mind know who is really in charge. Slowly and painfully, like a dictator repressing the people.

I'm not refusing to give up my dreams though. I am willing to get out of this prison, and I've been for a while. I just realized that I didn't put myself in here, as I always thought I was.

 

[Syrius]

 

[Sólveig]

You morons...

Do you think I'm really happy about them killing the power right at the start of the evening, as I was going to start working out? Do they find it amusing to kill the power in times where they aren't supposed to, when the heat is barely manageable? I'll just call this week a bad one, because not only I missed my workout, but also I couldn't finish preparing my session! All I had were the barebones, and when I was about to enter into details, the power went out until midnight!

I was writing! I was writing good! Writing D&D gave me something to channel all the bad energy I acquired from that meditation, and they just took that away from me. While that helped me cope, it only pissed me off, so now I have nothing, and a table waiting for me. Thankfully I have a fallback plan because one player wasn't sure if he was coming or not, but I managed to yet rescue another campaign that we haven't played in a while in favor of other campaigns, and this campaign in particular is actually a good fallback. I noticed that the characters are at level 6, and since I want to turn it into a more slice-of-life thing, I'll lock it on level 6. I'll come up with something today in fifteen minutes, and that'll be it.

At least the meditation wasn't horrible, but it helped me deal with the major wounds that my parents inflicted upon me, plus I noticed some behaviors that I must change. Had to start a new journal because the notebook that I used for keeping track of the program got filled up. With these visions I could make an entire graphic novel.

May 11th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 178

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 30 Seconds Single Leg Hops +EC
Count: 1472 - 1468 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 3, Day 5 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 8 Sit-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 11
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 81%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

D&D day. Since I was not prepared for anything, I managed to get some advancements on things with dice rolls and some comedic stuff that happened over someone leaning a little too much into their Patrick Bateman, which was cool because his character is slightly inspired in the better traits of him, channeling the psycho act only into the combats that we've had in that campaign so far. This is the urban fantasy campaign, by the way. I locked it at level 6 to provide stuff that isn't too easy, but doesn't guarantee a TPK either. The goal is to make a more slice of life type of anthology, where we get to have a story of the week, and a lot of character development. If I want to give them more power, Magic Items exist, and I could even introduce some higher-level capabilities from their classes as feats that are tweaked in order to not break the meta, and even magic items as well.

The most interesting part was the fact that we all rolled a Nat 20 on the same skill check that I asked. I'll repeat: we all rolled a Nat 20 on the same check. The excitement over that mathematical rarity went to the roof.

We also got to play a little bit of the future after the campaign from the other GM ends. I got to play a Barbarian that he built upon my sole instructions that she is a Zealot with the Acolyte background (is actually a follower from my Cleric in that campaign). I chose Barbarian because, even though I love Clerics, I wanted to play something more straightforward. He told me to do some modifications, as I managed to put her into a single page and memorize a bit of her feats. I mean, Barbarians are simple, it's just bonking and raging. I flavored her rage a bit into making it that her holy symbol starts to burn as it illuminates, the horns and the tail of her goddess appear as pink neon illusory things around her, like neon signs (my Cleric is a Tiefling), and she starts smelling like brimstone; a thing that Tieflings have. Zealot is quite fun to roleplay, with far much possibilities for flavor than Berserkers.

The reason I love Clerics is because I find them easy to me so that I don't zone out in combat when I'm not GMing. It's all about being the support for the party. I mean, last time, I came up with a creative solution against a boss that nearly killed us in two rounds by just holding my mace and flying so that the Barbarian could tank everything. When I realized she was fast is when I threw in Hold Person, and thankfully had a failure on the WIS save. However, I didn't think of using Toll the Dead because, even though she failed a WIS save, that might have been my luck, so I spammed Sacred Flame instead, while the Barbarian just mauled her to death. Of course, I don't need to play a Cleric to do this type of things; as I can do the same with a Sorcerer, or even a Bard, but it's just that with the other classes I zone out a bit. It doesn't happen with the Bard though. It's easier in the fact that I can't replace spells on each long rest, but Bards are good to support the Party in combat. Roleplaying the character isn't the issue, and I like to either lean too much into cliches and make them my own, or simply remove the cliche altogether. My first Bard? She was more of a Fighter and a Sage than a Bard. My second Bard? More of a monogamous gay OnlyFans model than a horny Bard who will screw everything that moves. My first Barbarian? Doomguy, but naked, with tons of fanservice, and is actually quite outgoing and familiar because she's a loving mom. My Sorcerer? Likes to adventure, and is excited for them, but has a complex for being naturally talented, so spends a lot of time trying to learn stuff, and also likes to keep things in balance (Clockwork Soul Sorcerer). My Cleric? Belle Delphine at the peak of her antics, but exaggerated to the point that she thinks of herself as a goddess (and has proven to be it), and is looking forward to become one. My Thaumaturge? A late-teen Half-Elf looking to become a student into a very known magic school, but is a bit clumsy and way too keen into going for adventures, plus she's actually a good shot (got the Wizard and Gunslinger archetypes for it). My Paladin? A woman more chaste than a nun, filled with a burning desire for justice and revenge, to the point of zealotry, and is paying the consequences of her quiet revolution (Oath of Vengeance; we killed the Emperor in session 2). They are all very colorful, and either commit to a cliche that it is so over the top that no one has ever played it as such, or they downplay the cliche, or find themselves outside of it.

May 12th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 178

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 60 Seconds Raised Arms Hold +EC
Count: 1473 - 1469 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 3, Day 6 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 16 Sit-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 12
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 81%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[graoumia]

I don't understand much about D&D, but it is fun to read, and i am happy, it seams you had good time!

 

[Sólveig]

I can't talk about yesterday, or at least not right now. It was a good day in which I spent most of the energy journalling and figuring out a few things here and there, but I can't go into details because something horrible just happened this morning, as I was about to write my post. I could've written last night, but I spent the night meditating.

Anyway, my mom got pwned a few hours ago, and I'm currently doing a lot of damage control. I managed to figure out the attack vector, and started to send messages all over, but there are some steps that I can't do. Currently I'm in a state of borderline panic, as I'm thinking that the phone number I'm using for WhatsApp can be easily cloned, but there's no malware in my phone, while I think there was some malware in my mom's because, a few nights ago, she complained that there was a group chat she wasn't able to remove or get herself out of it, no matter how much she tried. Of course, the attack didn't happen right there, but actually happened after she got a strange call in the morning, and lost her access to WhatsApp after following the instructions of turning the phone off and back on after fifteen minutes, which makes me think there was malware, aside from social engineering. So now her identity is stolen, and I'm waiting for her to be available while I do some damage control on my end. Had it not been for my brother calling me, I wouldn't have found out.

I think this was the last drop for me too. I can't sit still and just see how cybercrime keeps going up since the pandemic. It's already disturbing, but messing with my mom is now a call to action.

I'll log... later on the day. I can't focus right now, but this is just what's going on.

 

[graoumia]

That's really terrible and must be so stressfull. sending you thoughts and courage

 

[Maegaranthelas]

That sounds so stressful! I am sorry you are your family are having to deal with this

 

[PetiteSheWolf]

Hugs, and hoping this can get sorted out soon...

 

[MadamMeow]

Very sorry that happened to your mom. Hoping you can help her get it taken care of.

 

[Sólveig]

Well, things started to go quiet now, so I can hopefully post yesterday's log. Thank you for your words; we managed to contact as many people as possible, and warned everyone to not give up any kind of information or click on any links sent by her number. The scammers were so bad, they even tried to scam my mom by sending her a message on her alternate number. Some people almost fell for it and were about to gather the money, though few didn't have their suspicions. Mom managed to stop them before doing any transaction anyway. I gave her a series of instructions to follow, and so far she's doing better. It's been a very stressful day for both of us. I found out shortly after breakfast, when my brother called me about it. If it weren't for my quick thinking and the way I managed to focus solely on the problem, my mom would still be stressed to this point.

The attack happened through a suspcious link she might have accidentally tapped on (she's not very proficient handling touch screens), but it was through a phone call the scammers managed to steal her phone number and start to impersonate her to get her contacts to give them money. I know this attack; it is very common around here to use suspicious links that are spoofed to look like something safe. My brother salvaged a screenshot as his wife got a link too, and it was spoofed to look like a Facebook video. I wouldn't be surprised if these people dropped the ball and used cirillic letters to replace some characters; that's a thing they do to make them look legit. Obviously, I don't have a VM and a phone burner, otherwise I would've created a VM and went digging into that link and see the attack happening. I would've loved to do that not only to learn how it exactly works, but also to mess with the hackers. There might be some malware involved, or maybe they got some metadata, or something when my mom tapped on the link, and that's how they social engineered her into following their instructions. I know it must be a group of people because they contacted everyone in a very short notice, and even did phone calls pretending to be someone related to her. Some got in the loop and decided to have fun trolling the scammers instead. And, you know what? Good for them! They're scammers; they're scumbags, they attacked my mom, and I took it personally, so good on them for trolling them too. I won't feel bad if they even traumatize them by making them believe they attacked the wrong person.

Honestly, because the way I acted today, it is making me go into pen testing and stuff. I mean, this felt like a huge wake up call. These scammers come from prisons (some aligned with Tren de Aragua, which is unsurprising and I won't be surprised if these are also part of the gang), and the police is doing nothing because... they are in prison, they have access to electronics, and let's say 99% of the prisons are in control of the prisoners themselves. What the hell are they going to do? All I'm thinking about is being prepared for them, and make them realize they messed with the wrong girl. For crying out loud; they're using the same method, albeit with different links. I'm not underestimating their capabilities for social engineering. Honestly, that's why I believe anyone is vulnerable, including the most literate person about bad actors: because, nowdays, everything seems to be a scam. Everything looks like a scam, except scams themselves. These people are good in what they do: deceive others. Jim Browing himself got scammed; that's how good they are! Nevertheless, they might be having an operation that is as fragile as a piece of paper.

As for yesterday, it was mostly journalling, and a few changes into my systems. Got my weekly goals permanently in sight, printed out GURPS Ultra-Lite (because I am sick of spinning the page digitally when I could just print it and fold it into a zine), and a lot of lower body workout. I did a pyramid of Bridges that I called The Arch Bridge. One set works like this:

5 Bridges - 10-count - 10 Bridges - 10-count - 20 Bridges - 10-count - 30 Bridges - 10-count - 20 Bridges - 10-count - 10 Bridges - 10-count - 5 Bridges.

I did two sets of those, and woke up with DOMS. It didn't help that I also performed Glutes Sculpt. No Burpees for today, not only because I don't have time for it (as I spent the day tending to an emergency and giving a guitar class), but also because the DOMS are bad. I shouldn't have done 2 sets, totaling for 200 Bridges! I'll feel better tomorrow. My brain will be cooler. Yesterday was kind of a good day, but today's just bad. But yeah, I liked the way I acted today. Is not the first time I act this good in the middle of a crisis, even though there was a bit of panic at first, but is nothing that doing five minutes of Qi Gong couldn't solve. I guess this is the ADHD mind at work.

May 13th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 178

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 60 Seconds Side Jacks +EC
Count: 1474 - 1470 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 3, Day 7 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
Monday +EC
Glutes Sculpt
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
The Arch Bridge - 2 Sets
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches - #2 to #6
DAREdice: 12 Double Burpees
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 13
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 81%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

I'm not making this up. The scammers rolled good on their INT checks to hack my mom, but when the GM asked them for a CHA save, they rolled a Nat 1.

As I said before, some people have been trolling the scammer. One of them, in particular, did something bold. They socially engineered the scammer, and guess what happened? They doxxed themselves. I kid you not, they gave up their own banking details, which here is a cellphone number, your ID, and the bank associated to it. The thing is that it is very easy to find out information about Venezuelans with just their ID number. Put that into the CNE website, and you'll get their full name, and the exact address to where they vote, and if you are crafty and go into a certain website, you can even get more data about Social Security, Driver's License, Traffic Fines, even Tax Details. It is very creepy, I won't deny it, but this person, this scammer, gave up their info, and they just doxxed themselves. We got a name, a location, a date of birth... and, after putting that phone and checking if it had a WhatsApp account, a face and an occupation, all thanks to a profile picture that was taken in the most telling location that would be possible.

This guy handed his actual bank account to scam one of my mom's contacts that socially engineered him to give them his details. You want me to be honest? I'm laughing at his stupidity. How could you be so good at socially engineering someone into giving up their account, and yet you fail to provide or even stall details so that people could give you money? I am at a loss of words! At least set up a BTC wallet, which can still be traceable (though not as easy), or just put a PayPal account, or something, but your actual bank account?! And, even if this is a scammer, doxxing is not something that I'd do to him, but man, to think this guy is actually a fed just baffles. Not surprising; we all know 99.9% of the feds are corrupt, but still, it just shows how someone who is not even a script kiddie managed to get more data from him than he could get from my mom, and he was the one who hacked her in the first place! Not the sharpest tool on the shed; he even messaged my mom to scam her after stealing her identity!

This took a complete turn for the funny, and I just want to laugh my ass off while people trolled him relentlessly, and might still troll him tomorrow. I think mom sent those screenshots to my brother. I actually blocked the scammer's real number, and reported him to WhatsApp after taking screenshots of his profile, and a picture of his profile picture. If this is grounds for an actual investigation, he's going to be in hot water. I would mind if people kept harassing me, but honestly? I don't care. You are a scammer who stole the identity of a lady in her sixties; you deserve all the hate and harrassment. This was personal.

Anyway, I gave a guitar class today, and there had been some powercuts. The Internet went off temporarily, but it's back. I also added an extra day before starting the last week. Thing is that I feel like I shouldn't. When I finished my meditation yesterday, I was really questioning what's been going on, why there hadn't been anything else to do. Today felt the same, and got my answer: all the problems that I enlisted came from the same source. Just like all roads lead to Rome, all my fears are rooted into what made me realize the hate I feel for my parents. Many of the patterns seem like they don't come from there, but after today I saw that these patterns are the same old patterns, just contextualized to a different situation. I wrote down some changes I must do; behaviors that are rooted in those patterns and that I must change my mindset about them.

May 14th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 178

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 50 Knee Strikes +EC
Count: 1475 - 1471 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 3, Day 8 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 4 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 14
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 86%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[MadamMeow]

So happy to hear this turn of events! I'm glad you don't have to worry now too.

 

[Sólveig]

As expected, the feds didn't help her much beyond telling her to contact WhatsApp support. They even wrote down the e-mail for her. That was it. Nevertheless, we stopped the damage as far as we could, so hopefully no one got scammed... with the exception of the scammer whom I still can't believe doxxed himself.

Anyway, I finally started the last step on the program. I took an extra day, but that was meaningless because every road leads to Rome, and in this case, all my inner issues come from the same issue when I realized that I hate my parents, which is a pretty conflicting thought, but it all goes there. The final exercise is all about journalling and meditating, and this time is about solidifying the person I want to be, and start taking actions. I already started to take actions a week before starting the program, when I started to wake up femme, and it's been going on for a while. In fact, I started to take steps into my clothing too. I started to wrap my bandana around my wrist again, and added a necklace to my everyday outfit, which is something that isn't too far off from me. I put on a t-shirt and marked up the part where I want to crop the ones that I have put aside.

In fact, today, I realized how I don't have as many clothes as I thought, and they are male presenting clothes. Where before I would see this as a worry to keep the mask on, now I see this as an opportunity to transition. I'll just say that the change started, and is not stopping anytime soon.

May 15th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 178

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 20 Burpees +EC
Count: 1476 - 1472 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 4, Day 1 - 30 Minutes Meditation +Journalling
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
Core Fighter - LVL III +EC +Rest Between Levels
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches - Stretches #2 to #6
DAREdice: 20 Jumping Jacks
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 15
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 86%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

It's been a long day. I thought it was a waste. Part of me thinks of it that way, but here's the thing: it wasn't at all. It's just my insecurities talking to me. It is telling me that this is a bad day, and that I shouldn't have bought a chess set, but the reality is that I've been wanting one for quite a long time now, and I do have a purpose for it: to think about the moves.

However, it wasn't a bad day at all. It wasn't me telling myself to be responsible with money, but seizing an opportunity that, already today started to be fruitful. First game I played myself in this overtly conscious manner, almost as if I'm meditating, I ended up with a stalemate: white king got drowned. The second game was more aggresive on both sides, and also ended up in a stalemate where both would end up capturing each other's pieces until the kings would be looking at each other like "what now?" It started to get me thinking about what is it that it got me into those situations. Also, the chess set functions as a cheap improv piece for a flip mat, so it's good for solo games when I need to see what's going on. I could've gone to Chess.com, but I feel like I have a bit too much assistance there, and I really need to feel the pieces in my hands.

I'm thinking about going back into card magic too. I started as a way to keep my hands busy and stop biting my nails, which now I ended up realizing it was a form of fidgeting and I didn't know it. I'm also adding a new daily goal from tomorrow on, to reboot the writing progress in a way: just do a single page, daily, that is related to what I'm supposed to write, that is related to work. Just a single page; 250 words. That's too little to my standards, but it's a good baseline so that I don't feel a day is wasted.

I mean, I was out of home pretty much the entire day. I walked the town quite a lot today, and had too little time to do things. Plus, there was yet another powercut tonight. Thankfully, it didn't feel long, and you know why? Because I was outside for half of its duration. The other half is when I did the second game, finished reading a book, and then took a nap. Then is when the power came back.

May 16th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 178

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 60 Seconds Jumping Jacks +EC
Count: 1477 - 1473 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 4, Day 2 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Ba Han Sheng Qi Gong: The Everyday Progress, the Transcendence of the Moment
Qi Gong Ideogram: Jin - The Progress
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 12 Push-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 16
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 86%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

I couldn't work out yesterday. The heat was very unbearable, the powercut happened right at the height of the heat, and of all my goals, I could only do one. Nevertheless, it was a huge victory because it was an important goal, so I guess I'm getting better at prioritizing. Of course, I could've done it during the powercut and do more things, but I kid you not, even with power I was still sweating bullets. I just lied down on the floor, and took a long nap because I didn't want to get my bed sweaty. I don't know how much water I drank yesterday, but all jars ran out on the same afternoon in which I filled them. That should tell you how hot it is. They are all two liters, and we have seven of those, plus my 1 liter water bottle that I'm keeping near me whenever I work out or go out because I don't want to have a heatstroke like that time.

Thus I built an emergency weightlifting routine to do with my dumbbells. Quick and easy, just to compensate the fact that I had to cancel my Burpees as well because an aunt was visiting, and carried quite a lot of stuff, so I had to bring them in. It's mostly food and the like, but it is heavy for someone her age. I actually came back home feeling like I just worked out.

Today will be a day for Burpees only. I am afraid, but I want to do them, to forget about every single workout that exists and simply do as many Burpees as I can. Biggest number I got was 400 in a day, so...

May 17th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 178

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 60 Backfists +EC
Count: 1478 - 1474 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 4, Day 3 - 5 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Emergency Weightlifting: 4 Sets (12 - 10 - 8 - 6 Reps); 30 Seconds Rest between Sets
Bicep Curls
Tricep Extensions (half reps per side)
Lunges (half reps per side)
Bridges
Sit-ups
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 4 Lunges
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 28

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 17
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 86%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

And instead, I danced. The Burpee count didn't go beyond 200, but it doesn't matter. It was a hot day anyway, and I spent it preparing my session, ending up to a near 2K word D&D session. It was mostly randomized, and I also took advantage about the branching paths that Mythic warned about in the third book. Other than the .md document in Obsidian, I also have the adventure outline with me, as I am about to go out to play right now.

I also prepared my story to come back, did some journalling exercises related to the book... In fact, I got everything for the day, and I mean everything. I only dropped one goal because it wasn't necessary, and at best it would be a waste of time because... well, I mostly commit to memory the spells that I use the most (for instance, I know Guiding Bolt is a 1st-level spell that has a good range, deals 4D6 Radiant Damage upon hit, and you can upcast it to add an extra D6 per slot, it has the VS components, and it gives Advantage to the next attack roll made against the target that happens until the end of my next turn, or that Toll the Dead requires a WIS Save, deals Necrotic Damage, and replaces the D8s for D12s if the target is missing HP), so writing down every spell that I'm preparing, especially the ones that I'm almost guaranteed that I'll never use them at least once in the entire campaign. Most of the Paladin spells that the Oath of Vengeance gave me I already know (Bane is pretty much reverse Bless, and Hunter's Mark is something that Rangers have, for instance), so it was moot to put them on cards.

May 18th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 178

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 30 Squats +EC
Count: 1479 - 1475 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 4, Day 4 - 10 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 12 Sit-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 29

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 18
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nearly 2K! Though it was session prep.
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 86%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

It was supposed to be a D&D day, but instead we just hung out. One player was down because he came back very tired from work, and the other player wasn't feeling good mentally to roleplay, so we just took it as a cancelled session and did other things that afternoon. It was still a fun day, even if we didn't get to play. This week will be a Vigilante City session because a player will be missing for a couple of weeks, thus I'll carry on with those one-shots.

The water came earlier too. I also started to plan out things differently now. I didn't get to do 100% of my goals this time, but I hit 99% of them, which is still great.

May 19th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 178

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 30 Seconds Elbow Clicks +EC
Count: 1480 - 1476 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 4, Day 5 - 30 Minutes Meditation +Journalling
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 20 Sit-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 29

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 19
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 86%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

The powercut was right at the peak of the heat, in the middle of the afternoon. It lasted for far too long. Is not like I didn't do anything, but I noticed that I really need to change my environment when it happens. It is in the afternoon that my desire to draw kicks in, and I didn't draw yesterday, but I did cut a stack nearly 100 sheets of ledger paper into A5 size, which got me thinking in the huge amount of uses I could do with it other than simply drawing. I do have plenty of ideas for it since I really love that size for being so portable. A7 is another size that I enjoy, mostly because it has dimensions similar to an Index Card, though I enjoy more 5 x 3 Index Cards, but yeah, A5 is actually a good size for most of what I do. For journalling it doesn't work because I write a lot. I mean, my journal is roughly A4.

Nerding aside, I'm giving myself these weeks free to see how do I make my routine, and how do I work around the powercuts. Certainly, I can't have deadlines because the powercuts only makes them more stressful, and I shut down. The heat is what is making things very hard because I spend most of my time wiping off the sweat instead of actually working, because if I don't wipe off the sweat, it'll land on the page. Nevertheless, I'm studying how do I approach my goals.

By the way...



I added Bridges and Sit-ups at the end. Two more exercises; five sets of 12 each, the same as the other ones. Yes, I included the weights.

May 20th, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 178

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 30 Seconds Sahaja Navasana +EC
Count: 1481 - 1477 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 4, Day 6 - 30 Minutes Meditation
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
Monday +EC
Tyr +Bridges +Sit-ups
3 Double Burpees w/Jump Knee-Tuck
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 4 Double Burpees w/Jump Knee-Tuck
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 29

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 20
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 86%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

I had to skip the meditation because I was falling asleep last night. I managed to went to bed at the hour I put myself to go to. I don't know why I felt so tired, but it could be due to the cold weather. It was a rainy day yesterday (finally!), and cold too. It never felt better to go for a walk and come back without a drop of sweat, so I simply enjoyed the day. I had to skip the Burpees because my tasks ate quite a lot of my day. It was worth it though. I had major things done, and now I'm making more progress.

Got a few things ready too, to practice some writing stuff. I even developed an idea which forced me to go back into that time last year, in one of those mass arrests that happened here, only to get pissed off once again. I think I talked about it in my previous log last year, but around the end of July, there was a mass arrest on a city. 33 people were taken into custody, allegedly, because they were celebrating a sex party, and were both doing indecent exposure and disturbing the peace. The links are all in Spanish, but it was so bad that even the Wikipedia has an article about it. It was such a horrible thing: names were leaked, lives were ruined... some of those men were married with children, and inside the closet, and pretty much the police revenge porn'd them by leaking the information to the press, because as it turns out, everything was a hoax created by the cops.

Learning that put things into a new perspective, and it just shifted whatever stories that I have into an even darker approach. The protests, alongside the increase in places that are proposed to be LGBTIQ+ safe spaces all over town, makes me believe that the community is starting to get stronger, especially if the government is doing exactly this as they put on the face that they're tolerant. They don't say that up front, but I've seen the pride flag around their activities a few times, which is obviously a farse.

Honestly, even though it got me even angrier because it was all a proof of police corruption and the violation of justice in Venezuela, I am so glad that I stumbled upon this in my research. They just made me feel like an even bigger whistleblower. The only thing that saddens me is that we won't have Tamara Adrián as president anytime soon, but I hope she gets a very powerful seat at one point, because she's one of the few people who actually cares about the country and the LGBTIQ+ community instead of using it to push an ideology of greed or hubris and destruction, as the traditional dichotomy does.

May 21st, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 178

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 20 Jumping Lunges +EC
Count: 1482 - 1478 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 4, Day 7
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
Seated Strength - LVL III +EC
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 20 Sit-ups
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 29

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 21
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 86%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Sólveig]

Man, waiting for the powercut was surely a waste of time. It wasn't long, but it was very painful. At least I got my stuff out to draw, even though I didn't do a single line, but the intention was there. Attention deficit also won the battle yesterday, as well as time vampires. It was a hard day for wanting to do stuff and then do none of them at all at the expectation of a powercut that arrived very late.

Burpees though...

I also finished the program, so now I get to keep reading the book. I already peeked before and it's about making the meditation my own, so I'll do that. Honorary badge for completing that book's program. First time I do something like that from a book. A good read though; I learned a lot about things, and now I'm applying them little by little.

Oh, another reason for my failures is also because I put my Hipster PDA on top of the notepad where I jot down my goals. Yeah, I never saw them. It doesn't matter though. I wrote them again, and now it's on an even more visible spot. That notepad is also a minijournal where I get to jot down anything quick that I'll develop later on my journal. It seems that writing stuff is what helps me deal with ADHD. No wonder I go completely crazy when I don't write at all. It's pretty much breathing now.

May 22nd, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 178

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 30 Knee-to-elbows +EC
Count: 1483 - 1479 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana Meditation
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: Week 4, Day 7
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
50 Full Burpees
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches - Stretch #2 to #6
DAREdice: 10 Double Burpees w/Jump Knee-Tuck
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 29

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 22
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 86%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories:

 

[Fremen]

Congrats

 

[graoumia]

congratulations

 

[Maegaranthelas]

Whoooh, you also get for your side quest

 

[Sólveig]

@Fremen @graoumia @Maegaranthelas Thank you!

 

[MadamMeow]

Congrats for Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself!

 

[Syrius]

Congrats!!!

 

[Mamatigerj]

Happy Honorary Badge Day!

 

[Sólveig]

@MadamMeow @Syrius @Mamatigerj Thank!

---

Skipped the meditation because... what for? It's already way too late. However, that doesn't mean I'm stepping back, oh no, no no no... I actually did a thing today. I actually did many things. I had a list, and I ticked it all the elements for the day. Another successful day, and I wasn't even at my best!

I'm still not writing, though I guess journalling can be considered as such? Even though I'm not actually journalling? I set myself up for planning and setting up milestones; realistic milestones this time, and also discarded things that only bloated my plans. Anyway, by actually being more specific with everything, I just saw my entire ambitions, and having them into different sheets of paper gave me a bird's eye view about things that I could do and things that I could not. The best part about my milestones is that they are quite modular, so I could reach them in any order. It actually feels like I'm playing a sandbox, either a sandbox campaign in D&D, or a game such as Fallout or The Elder Scrolls, except you don't get the luxury of time. I was pretty excited about to day, starting out with the quickest goal, and then working out to the hardest goal.

I'll admit it, I had the help of AI to determine my milestones so that I could have a general idea of what steps to take. Obviously they aren't the greatest, but I can tailor them to my needs, and even do further research. As far as it goes, it gave me a more digestable list of tasks. I already ordered my goals in order of importance, with some that can be discarded temporarily, while others will work in the background, and some will stumble upon a dead end... but the dead end is because I need to build a bridge in order to carry on, and I can't build bridges without solving the main goal. I need to strip those out of the paper, and start putting them into a visible place where I can track progress of everything. Seriously, I am very, very excited. As I expected, I'm running out of ink on my pen, but thankfully, I have a couple of others. Also, this time, putting my notepad in a more visible place worked.

So yeah. You might see a new tick down there. I'm officially back at the challenge, and tomorrow I'll do lesson XIV during the powercut, and I'll do it on an A5 piece of paper because it looks like a comic frame. Yes, I am back at drawing Pin-up girls. I also finished a D&D character for solo one-shots, and started watching Me, Myself and Die!'s solo campaigns, which, to be honest, I'm really shocked on how entertaining they are and the quality of everything, even though it's just one guy doing the thing! First episode of Savage Worlds S1, and it was so much better than any TV pilot, movie, videogame, or even book that I've consumed, and it was all randomly and spontaneous! It was a fun listen while I drew, and I already learned how to keep track and notes of a solo campaign without entering into prose. All I need is to make the frame of the prose. Pretty much an outline, but at least it has more things there instead of being a flowchart.

I'm no stranger to writing with dice though. Ever since I learned how to outline my session the way Mythic suggests in Variations, I started to use that method to outline my stories, and always keep a D100 and the Fate Chart open in case I need it. I've rolled my dice during first draft, and it has improved things.

Yeah, today was a successful day. I'll link stuff tomorrow.

May 23rd, 2024
Kickboxing: Day 178

---

Morning Routine:
The Right Side + 10 Decline Push-ups
Sól Salutation - LVL I +EC
20-Seconds Legs
Before Breakfast Burpees +EC
Daily Dare: 60 Seconds Shoulder Taps +EC
Count: 1484 - 1480 +EC

---

Night Routine:
Mani Salutation - 1 Set
Five Rites
Virasana + 60 Seconds Meditation
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Daily Gratitude
Counting Victories

---

Training Plan:
Altered Valkyrie + Fighter
Programs:
Nope
Bucket List:
Shadebound
Cardio & Abs

---

Workouts:
150 Burpees +EC
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Full Burpees
30 Seconds Side Splits
Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings & Calves
100/50 Strength
Pole Dance Stretches
DAREdice: 8 Squats
1 minute Uttanasana w/Toe Reach
2-Minute Elbow Plank
Daily Walk
Shuffle Dance! (#1, #2, #3, H.A.T.E.R.)
Belly Dance
Dancing Days: 29

---

Challenges:
Core: Day 23
Drawing Pin-up Girls Every Day for a Year: Day 51/365
Get to Bed on Time: Day 1 - I've got this.
Challenge Rebooted
Bucket List:
Lower Body Blast
Upper Body Blast

---

Writing progress:
Nope
1500 Get!
Daily 1500

---

Reading progress:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - 86%
GURPS Lite - 78%

---

Other Victories: