Rainbow Dragon's Lair

Laura Rainbow Dragon

Well-known member
Bard from Canada
Posts: 1,652
"Striving to be the change."
Take good care of yourself, @Laura Rainbow Dragon , and hoping to hear more about those two good events afterwards ;) (we can hear about the bad too when you need to vent).

The other stressful thing, unfortunately, has reached a breaking point.

I need to find a new place to live. Sooner rather than later.

This is not an impossible task. But neither is it an easy one. I'm not looking to jump from the fire place into the fire. (I'm not yet in such dire straits that I'd be willing to live in a cockroach-infested dump, or to make myself ill breathing other people's second-hand smoke all day.) But I cannot afford to pay through the nose for my accommodations either. I am looking for reasonably-priced, decent accommodations, in a metropolitan area in southern Ontario. Vacancy rates for such places are low, and there are often waiting lists. Also: many such places that could be workable--basement apartments in non-smoking private homes, for instance--are often only ever available by word-of-mouth. And I don't have the sorts of contacts who tend to hear about such opportunities any more.

Fellow Bees who live in southern Ontario (or who have contacts here): If you have any housing leads for me, I would very much appreciate them!

My non-negotiables are:
  1. The unit must be a private, self-contained unit. (I am not interested in renting a room in a house with strangers and shared communal areas.)
  2. The unit must contain a full bathroom, with both a tub and a shower.
  3. The unit must contain a full kitchen with, at a minimum, a full-sized oven (four range burners, broil & bake oven elements), and a full-sized refrigerator with frost-free freezer. (I eat 100% homemade food. A "skip the dishes"-style kitchenette with only a hotplate and bar fridge does not work for me.)
  4. The unit must contain at least one bedroom which is separated from the rest of the apartment by actual walls and a door which closes.
  5. The unit must be smoke-free. (I would consider an apartment in a building which allows smoking if and only if the building is ventilated such that air from other units does not get into my unit.)
  6. The unit must allow large-breed dogs. Shelby is my family. I would sleep under a bridge before I would abandon her.
  7. If the unit is above-ground, it must be air-conditioned. (I'll be working from home all day, on a computer. I need my computer to not overheat on me!)
  8. The unit must be within easy walking distance (3km) of the downtown core* of an actual city (minimum population 100K) and preferably much closer than that to a full-sized grocery store.
  9. The landlord may not attempt to impose any type of restrictions on how many, how often, or when I entertain guests in my unit. (I do not host loud or destructive drinking parties. But I absolutely will invite my friends into my home whenever I feel like it.)
  10. The landlord may not attempt to impose any type of restrictions on my source of rental funds. (Doing so is illegal in Ontario. But I've seen plenty of rental ads that demand to see "proof of current employment". Um... no. Just no. I will pay my rent in full and on time every month. How I do that is none of the landlord's business, and attempting to impose any type of restriction on my sources of money is a violation of Ontario law.)

My preferences are:
  1. London--either in Sherwood Forest area or near the downtown core, as specified above. (*Sherwood Forest is my one exception to the "must be within 3K of downtown" rule, since I have friends who live there. I likely cannot afford this neighbourhood. But it would be nice if I could.)
  2. Direct-to-outside access. (So I don't need to put on a face mask and ride an elevator every time Shelby needs to go outside.)
  3. Two or more bedrooms.
  4. Ample in-suite storage.
  5. A unit where the entire building/complex is smoke-free.
  6. In-suite laundry. (A hookup for my own machine is my preference. But a landlord-supplied in-suite machine is preferable to having to go offsite.)
  7. A dishwasher, lots of counter space, lots of kitchen storage. More kitchen overall is a good thing!
  8. Spaciousness in general. I'll be living in my home, sleeping in my home, eating in my home, working in my home, working out in my home, and spending time with friends in my home. Tiny, cramped quarters make everything more difficult, less efficient, and in some cases would entirely close off opportunities which are important to me.
  9. Ample guest parking.

I may not be able to get everything in my Preferences list. So please do not discount an opportunity just because it's missing one or several items from that list. Anything that meets my non-negotiables would be a huge improvement over where I'm living now.

Huge thank you to anyone who can help! Truly. The situation I find myself in at present is not an easy one, I do not as of yet have anyone stepping up to help me, and a few things have happened recently that have made me very afraid for my future if I cannot get my housing situation resolved soon.
 

Laura Rainbow Dragon

Well-known member
Bard from Canada
Posts: 1,652
"Striving to be the change."
An actual work/workout check-in report (that is what this thread was meant to be about, right?):

I have kept up my streaks. As of April 8, my stats were:

Streaks:
:v: EXERCISE - 1081 days
:v: FRENCH - 879 days
:v: WRITING - 206 days

My standards are significantly lowered at the moment, however. I am mentally exhausted to an extent that is translating into physical exhaustion (even though physically I am fine). I am basically in survival mode.

I have not even tried to do my upper body strength training workouts for 3 weeks now. It takes a lot of mental energy to force myself to do that work, and I just don't have that right now.

Ditto for running. I have not done any for 3 weeks. This situation will hopefully improve soon as it is not that hard for me to go for a run during nice weather. But running in the cold requires more fortitude than I have right now.

Yoga. Meh. I often do a very short (as in: 4 minutes) self-led practice these days. Practices led by others I really cannot cope with right now other than restoratives. Any tougher classes where the instructor is encouraging the students to work hard just make me want to cuss at the instructor. (Fortunately I'm only doing pre-recorded classes. Nothing live. So no one has to witness my responses. But most days I decide I'd be better off just going to bed.)

I am trying to make myself dance, at least for 5 or 10 minutes, most days. I LOVE dancing. Dancing makes me feel happy. But some days I don't make myself do it because I feel that dancing-inspired happiness would be fake. :sad:

Basically, if I get out for a proper walk with Shelby, I call that having met my exercise minimum for the day. I am trying to walk her a little over 5K per day now.

French is mostly watching Netflix with a French dub and English sub-titles these days. This is less mentally-taxing for me than trying to do the Fluenz classes, but it's still helpful.

Artwork has fallen to ~ 30-60 minutes per week. I don't know if I will get any done this week at all. This is a priority area for improvement for me once I have sufficient time and head-space to improve. For now, it is what it is.

Writing. This is my #2 priority right now. (Behind finding a new place to live.) I missed my 10 hours work per week goal a couple of times, but then I decided to let go of some of the other things I was striving for so I could give more time and effort to writing. This has paid off, and I made good progress with my space opera series for a couple of weeks. This past week (since Friday, March 31) has been particularly ugly for me. I achieved my writing goals last week since I had almost accomplished them before the ugliness arrived. This week, however, has been tough. And I am behind. It is currently 9:30 AM on the last day of my tracking week and I still have 3 hours of work ahead of me in order to meet my time target. I likely have more than 3 hours work still to do to get the content finished I had hoped to achieve this week. (A lot of the work I have done thus far this week has really been reaching for low-hanging fruit because I did not have the head space for more than that.) But the day is young, and no one is shouting at me right now, so I may yet manage to get it done.

My "work before play" goal has been replaced with "writing first". I'm not able to juggle a long list of goals right now, and I need to keep my writing a priority. So I try to do it first thing in the morning before other things start crushing me. If I succeed at this, I call it a win.

GBOT is much improved since I switched back to using a manual toothbrush. GOBOT is consequently improved as well although not as much. Problems with my current housing situation sometimes lead to interrupted sleep.
 

Laura Rainbow Dragon

Well-known member
Bard from Canada
Posts: 1,652
"Striving to be the change."
Holy crap! The above post is depressing!
I'm sorry about that.
I'm going to leave it as is, however. I need the reminder of just how bad things have gotten for me here, so I remain motivated to stay the course when the house hunting becomes tough. Sometimes there are lulls in the ugly, and I start to think I can survive where I am for a bit longer. But the overall trend has always been downhill for me here, and the slope of that downhill slide has increased significantly over the past year. I need to get out!
 

Laura Rainbow Dragon

Well-known member
Bard from Canada
Posts: 1,652
"Striving to be the change."
hoping to hear more about those two good events afterwards ;)

A hopeful post:
(This thread definitely needs some hope!)

My two happy upcoming things are:

1. My favourite band, Boreal, are on their spring tour! This is only their second year doing a spring tour (for a long time they were a winter season only band), and the first time I will be able to get out to their spring show.

2. Boreal's closest spring gig to me is only 15km from the home of my best friend. So I will be driving out to her home early on Friday to spend the day with her. The weather is predicted to be perfect for hiking! Then we will attend the concert together. Then I will spend the night at my friend's home and hopefully hike with her again on Saturday (more good weather is predicted) before returning to the Booming Metropolis to face whatever mess my current housemates manage to make during my 34-hour absence. (At which point my other best friend, Shelby, will be overjoyed to see me. So my homecoming will not be 100% miserable.)

My #1 priority for the next 5 days is making sure NOTHING gets in the way of me driving away from here on Friday morning and spending a day and a half with my friend and Boreal. I NEED THIS!

I am hopeful that my upcoming mini-vacation will provide me with the renewed strength, courage, and hope I need to get done what I need to get done over the coming months.

P.S.: For any of you who are interested, Boreal's show next Friday will be live-streamed! Their spring show is called "Songs of Renewal" and is guaranteed to be an uplifting and wonderful experience. The show will air live on YouTube starting at 8PM EST Friday, April 14 (12AM UTC Saturday) and will be available for ticket-holders for replay for a couple of days afterward. The livestream is option 5A on this page.

Here is a sneak peak at some songs Boreal may perform next weekend:

 

Laura Rainbow Dragon

Well-known member
Bard from Canada
Posts: 1,652
"Striving to be the change."
Even thought the last 2 messages are more on the depressing side, I have to say it's deeply motivating to see that you are still kicking ass on Darebee, and keeping a log! :D I made an account, as it seems the old accounts are gone now.
Hello @Warlock ! Thank you!

Yes, the Old Hive has been retired now. We're all on new accounts on a new platform.
 

Laura Rainbow Dragon

Well-known member
Bard from Canada
Posts: 1,652
"Striving to be the change."
Thank you for the pictures! The bird is so cute and Shelby looks so peaceful :heart:
Meadowlarks are so bright and flashy when they show off that yellow! But hunkered down they become almost impossible to see. Their backs blend so perfectly into the grass!

I don't know that Shelby is all that peaceful in these shots. But she is definitely getting better at birding. :happy:
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
:hug:
love that song that you shared from Boreal! may have to mark my calendar for the live stream and then i will dance my Friday night away with you.

the title of this is awful but the message is good and maybe you would be able to reframe how you feel about feeling joy when dancing when other things are less than joyful.

 

Laura Rainbow Dragon

Well-known member
Bard from Canada
Posts: 1,652
"Striving to be the change."
how was the concert?
As wonderful as expected! Actually, more! The photos I saw of the venue made the audience area look packed in very tight. I was afraid there might not be a suitable place to dance. But there turned out to be a fine spot right at the front! So I had an amazing time!

My time away was clarifying in a way that was actually shocking. I already knew what I need to do. I was hoping this past weekend would provide me with the energy and hope to get it done. I was not expecting it to strengthen my resolve or my belief in the rightness of the path I have chosen--certainly not to the extreme that it did. I have some work ahead of me. But I know now that I will be okay once I get it done--at least in the most fundamental way that matters. Things are going to get brighter!

Mini poster from the concert:

BorealSpring2023.png



:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
 

Laura Rainbow Dragon

Well-known member
Bard from Canada
Posts: 1,652
"Striving to be the change."
Thank you @Anek @CODawn @daejamurrachan @NancyTree @PetiteSheWolf

Space to breath. That's exactly what it felt like @daejamurrachan . When I left the Booming Metropolis on Friday morning, I almost didn't believe it. I pulled onto the highway and thought: This looks like the 401. Holy crap! I'm on the 401! I did it! I escaped! I almost cried with relief.

When I got back on the highway to return to the BM on Saturday afternoon, I did cry. If Shelby had not been here waiting for me, I would not have come back. I was prepared to walk away from everything else I had left here, and pay good money to ship the car I had borrowed back to its owner, just to be able to never return to this place.

I had hoped that I would find a few hours of joy this weekend, plus the strength and hope I needed to push forward with the work I need to do. And I did find all of these things. But I found something more as well. Something much more important. I found myself.

It scares me that I needed to get away from this place in order to even remember who I am. The flip side of this is that I also feel a huge amount of relief to know that the person who I think I am, the me who I like and love, still exists. She has not been destroyed. And I can begin to live as that person again as soon as I find a way to escape the Booming Metropolis permanently.

Since returning to the BM Saturday evening I have put into place some practices to help protect my mental health until I can escape this place for good. I have also added one more thing to my list of daily tasks: Starting today I will do some work on my escape plan every day until I am free.
 

daejamurrachan

Well-known member
Druid from Colorado
Posts: 79
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe"
it is wonderful when you have the opportunity to see a ray of sunshine through the clouds and to have the presence to observe the tiny dust motes. it is then that the realization, the knowledge that the pieces of you, the real you, are still there. they are only waiting from more sunshine, a little bit of rain, maybe a little bit of fertilizer. but they are still there, dormant, but hopeful, ready to burst to life with only a small amount of encouragement.
 

minervathewise

New member
Posts: 2
it is wonderful when you have the opportunity to see a ray of sunshine through the clouds and to have the presence to observe the tiny dust motes. it is then that the realization, the knowledge that the pieces of you, the real you, are still there. they are only waiting from more sunshine, a little bit of rain, maybe a little bit of fertilizer. but they are still there, dormant, but hopeful, ready to burst to life with only a small amount of encouragement.
I totally agree with you,recently i discovered how shackeled i was in my old city i was living,i moved to a small town,very quiet and peaceful,no rainbows but a lot of chilling rains,beautiful views and fluffy clouds,i even began running at 5 am randomly that's when i feel myself free.my mind and body in tandem with nature is beautiful.after i have found this site https://essays.edubirdie.com/essay-help my student life improved drastically,i managed to get more free time than i ever had.The site has a lot of essays and not only,it's surely a help from above hah
 
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Laura Rainbow Dragon

Well-known member
Bard from Canada
Posts: 1,652
"Striving to be the change."
Hi everybody! :hi:

I am still here. I'm trying to get back to the Hive more regularly. I miss you guys! I've got a lot going on right now though.

I spent a bunch of time house-hunting over the spring and early summer. That was depressing. The housing situation here is in crisis. Vacancy rates are at or near zero. Rents are stupidly high. Landlords are asking for and getting the moon, (because they can due to the lack of availability of rental units). Most landlords would not even consider an application from me because I'm not employed. And I have no intention of seeking employment at this time. (There is no job I could possibly get that would pay me enough money to support myself in today's rental market.) I also do not want to get myself into an unstable rental situation. Pretty much every community here of any significant size has a homeless encampment now. (There was even a guy sleeping rough here in the Booming Metropolis this summer, and the population of this community is < 5000 people.) The social media groups I joined for apartment-hunters were full of people posting that they were homeless/about to become homeless/a family of five sleeping in someone's mother's living room/etc. There were sketchy people posing as landlords trying to prey on those people too. Like I said: depressing.

Long story short: I gave up on house-hunting. At least for now. It was taking up too much time and way too much headspace and killing my writing productivity and not getting me anywhere for all of that. So I decided to suck it up w.r.t. my current housing situation and just try to get as much writing done here as I can.

This latest plan went middling well over the summer, and I was able to pick up quite a bit of steam with it in recent weeks. I got a little over 20K words written on my space opera, wrote two short stories, both of which are currently out on submission (technically one is out on submission, the other is awaiting review from a pro editor who may or may not offer me the chance to submit the story to him in the future), and did some exploratory work re: a Kickstarter campaign I'm hoping to run in January for my zombie workout adventure stories.

Then my father died. On Sunday. This was not unexpected or shocking in any way. His health had declined significantly over the past few years, and this last year in particular brought a lot of problems for him and a steep decline in his quality of life. Still, it's a huge impact on my life given that a.) he was my father, and b.) the work I have had for the past 15 years has been helping to look after him. So... yeah. At the moment we are still waiting for the dust to settle. Wading through all the work that has to be done when someone dies. Then my mother and I are each going to take some vacation time--something neither of us has been able to do for several years now. And then I will see if it is even possible for me to continue living with my mother now that my father is gone. Scary times.

In the meantime, I am still trying to get as much writing done as I can. I'm hoping to write three short stories between now and October 1. I'm also taking some online writing workshops, and I need to do more prep work for January's Kickstarter. It's going to be a busy month!

Workout-wise, I have been slacking. Mostly all I have been doing over the summer is hiking with Shelby. I'm still counting my streak, but it's more of a general exercise streak than a "workout" streak now. Today was day 1231. I need to get back to doing more than just hiking. (Especially since January's Kickstarter is about a fitness project, and some of the rewards will include fitness and yoga classes led by me!) I likely won't start a new streak count for it however. Shelby and I are getting into pretty long hikes now, and there will definitely be days when I don't have time to do more than that.

I've kept up my French study streak too, mostly by watching Netflix programs en français. Today was day 1029.

And for my writing streak, today is day 356. This is my top priority now, out of necessity.

I guess that's all for now. We're in the middle of a heatwave here right now, so I need to be really committed to early nights so I can do early mornings. I've been walking Shelby at 6AM--which is well before sunrise here now--because it's too hot to be out there later in the day. I will try to do better about checking in here and also checking in with all of you. But I hope you'll all give me grace if I continue to be a bit spotty for the next little while as the dust settles in my little corner of the Hive.

Thank you for reading, Bees! I will try to check in with you all soon.
 

Montserrat

Well-known member
Rogue from The Netherlands
Posts: 837
Hello @Laura Rainbow Dragon, great to hear from you!

I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. :love:

I myself was in a rather desperate housing situation at the beginning of the year, with hardly any apartments available here and also having no income. Still... I got lucky and found a place. So it does happen!

Take good care of yourself, but check in when you can!
 
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