Rainbow Dragon's Lair
- Thread starter Laura Rainbow Dragon
- Start date
December 25:
I have almost completed my 53rd transit around Sol. This year, for the first time ever, I made it through December 25 with:
This year on December 25 I turned off the ringers on all my phones and did not check messages so that even well-meaning friends could not call me and be all maudlin about the fact I was not spending the day in the way they thought I should want to spend it.
This year on December 25 I enjoyed a relaxing day at home with my best friend, Shelby. We made it out for a morning walk in time to meet up with Shelby's friends again (golden retrievers Hendrix and Cody, poodle Randy, little Sheltie Molly, and a new friend: a very rambunctious and already as big as Shelby golden retriever puppy, Bear). Shelby tolerated Bear's interest in her very well. I did my DAREBEE workout, spent some time in the Hive, went for a run, ate delicious and nutritious leftovers, did no dishes or other cleaning of any kind, watched some Netflix in French, played a couple games of solo Wingspan, took Shelby out for a second walk, and did some reading in bed.
Best December 25 ever!
Fit December day 17
Power Squats Challenge day 25
Fighter's Codex day 21 - 1 set
3km run
8km + 6km with Shelby (and friends for part of the first walk)
writing: 1486 words
French: Netflix
GOBOT
GBOT
FC report:
Completed Day 21. Fighter's Codex is on hiatus now for one week.
I have almost completed my 53rd transit around Sol. This year, for the first time ever, I made it through December 25 with:
- no arguing
- no fighting
- no being forced to share space with people who are mean to one another*
- no contact with people who use and abuse me
- no bullshit
This year on December 25 I turned off the ringers on all my phones and did not check messages so that even well-meaning friends could not call me and be all maudlin about the fact I was not spending the day in the way they thought I should want to spend it.
This year on December 25 I enjoyed a relaxing day at home with my best friend, Shelby. We made it out for a morning walk in time to meet up with Shelby's friends again (golden retrievers Hendrix and Cody, poodle Randy, little Sheltie Molly, and a new friend: a very rambunctious and already as big as Shelby golden retriever puppy, Bear). Shelby tolerated Bear's interest in her very well. I did my DAREBEE workout, spent some time in the Hive, went for a run, ate delicious and nutritious leftovers, did no dishes or other cleaning of any kind, watched some Netflix in French, played a couple games of solo Wingspan, took Shelby out for a second walk, and did some reading in bed.
Best December 25 ever!
Fit December day 17
Power Squats Challenge day 25
Fighter's Codex day 21 - 1 set
3km run
8km + 6km with Shelby (and friends for part of the first walk)
writing: 1486 words
French: Netflix
GOBOT
GBOT
FC report:
Completed Day 21. Fighter's Codex is on hiatus now for one week.
Anek
Well-known member
Sorceress
from
Bavaria, Germany
Pronouns: She/her
Posts: 2,913
from
Bavaria, Germany
Pronouns: She/her
Posts: 2,913
"If the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember Cedric Diggory."
Sounds like the perfect Christmas! I'm glad you had the perfect day!
MadamMeow
Well-known member
Fae
from
Central NJ
Posts: 1,593
from
Central NJ
Posts: 1,593
"I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time, but Im too young to worry..."
I'm glad you had a much nicer Christmas! Life is too short to let bad people weigh you down. Good for you!
December 26:
Secret Santa - rescued 2 more boxes of ornaments as a warm-up
Fit December day 18
Power Squats Challenge day 26
Fighter's Codex
- on hiatus until January 2
3km run
6km + 3km with Shelby - did not see any puppy friends in spite of getting out at the right time in the AM to meet up with them. (Weather was a bit rainy though. So perhaps others were waiting for clearer skies.) We did at least see Shelby's kitty friend, Buddy. Buddy lives on our block and is IN LOVE with Shelby. He is completely besotted with her. Shelby is not quite sure what to do about this, since she understands I do not want her to eat the cat. Mostly she just stands still and lets Buddy rub himself all over her.
writing: 441 words
French: Netflix
GOBOT
GBOT
FC report:
On hiatus until January 2.
Secret Santa - rescued 2 more boxes of ornaments as a warm-up
Fit December day 18
Power Squats Challenge day 26
Fighter's Codex
- on hiatus until January 23km run
6km + 3km with Shelby - did not see any puppy friends in spite of getting out at the right time in the AM to meet up with them. (Weather was a bit rainy though. So perhaps others were waiting for clearer skies.) We did at least see Shelby's kitty friend, Buddy. Buddy lives on our block and is IN LOVE with Shelby. He is completely besotted with her. Shelby is not quite sure what to do about this, since she understands I do not want her to eat the cat. Mostly she just stands still and lets Buddy rub himself all over her.
writing: 441 words
French: Netflix
GOBOT
GBOT
FC report:
On hiatus until January 2.
Last edited:
PetiteSheWolf
Well-known member
Awwwwww, Buddy is marking Shelby as safe! So cute! Good Shelby girl!
MadamMeow
Well-known member
Fae
from
Central NJ
Posts: 1,593
from
Central NJ
Posts: 1,593
"I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time, but Im too young to worry..."
That is just too precious. Love it!
@PetiteSheWolf he walks under her mouth and rubs the top of his head under her chin. Then he walks under her belly and rubs his back across her belly. Then he throws himself on the ground at her feet, rolls onto his back, and stares up at her with his big grey-green eyes as if he's saying, "Ravish me, Shelby!" We think he's trying to get her to lie down and cuddle with him. Which Shelby will not do. He does sometimes succeed in eliciting nose kisses out of her though. Pretty good for a dog who used to consider him prey.
December 27:
A stressful day. Nothing bad happened. Just a lot of talking about and thinking about the situation with my mother.
The hospital called me in the morning. It was the doc overseeing my mother's care this week, who had my brother in the room with him and wanted to talk to both of us about her care status.
When she was first brought in to the first hospital, they put her on a ventilator right away. But after we elected not to pursue surgery, they had her listed as "no code". (They did not even ask me about this. They just assumed she was no code, since they thought she was brain dead at that point. After we said no to surgery, the ER doc came to talk to me and said the next step was to decide when to withdraw life support. My brother was still on the road, driving to the hospital at that point. But when I told the ER doc I wanted them to continue providing care at least until my brother had a chance to see our mother, the ER doc looked alarmed. She said to me, "But if she codes, we won't resuscitate her! We don't want to put her through that!" I wasn't even considering that she could code at that point, since she was already on the ventilator, and her heart had presumably been fine that morning, and the new issue was with her brain, not her heart. I'd only meant not to remove the ventilator until my brother got there. But the ER doc had acted like even that was asking too much.)
Then, when it turned out our mother wasn't brain dead, and my brother authorized her transfer to the bigger hospital so she could have surgery, she was listed as "full code" at that hospital. Which the neurosurgeon seemed not to like. She mentioned our mother's code status to my brother multiple times, in a way he certainly interpreted as her nudging him to reconsider it. So we talked, and my brother decided to move our mother to R2 status (a decision which I supported and which her nurse practitioner also supported). This meant that the hospital would still administer necessary drugs, perform surgery if indicated, and use a ventilator to support our mother's life if necessary, but they would not perform chest compressions or defibrillate her. The thinking on this was that her heart had been healthy when all of this started. If it were to stop now, that would be an indication things were trending in the wrong direction. If the hospital successfully resuscitated her, she would then have to deal with heart damage and broken ribs on top of an already deteriorating neurological crisis, and it was extremely unlikely she would ever recover from that enough to enjoy any kind of quality of life at all.
Yesterday's phone call was because our mother's doc (at least the one who is on-call this week) wanted my brother to withdraw the request to use a ventilator or any other kind of forced breathing on our mother. At the moment her vitals remain stable. She is breathing on her own. But if something were to happen now that required forced ventilation to sustain her life, this doc was now telling us that would be something she would not recover from. She is very much weaker now than she was two and a half weeks ago, simply because she has been lying in an ICU bed doing nothing for herself for those two and a half weeks. So now this doc is saying, if our mother were to develop breathing issues, say from pneumonia or some such, she is no longer strong enough to recover from that, and we should just let her go.
My brother and his wife stopped in to see me (and to collect some documents and visit my mother's bank to establish my brother's PoA to control her finances) on their way home in the afternoon. We talked about the current recommendation from the hospital, which my brother said he was inclined to agree with. I told him I trust his judgement better than the hospital staff's at this point, considering all of the conflicting messages we have been given already. (Today's doc even acknowledged we have good reason to distrust what medical personnel tell us at this point.)
So our mother's care status will now change again. But this may not mean anything since the change only applies to care she doesn't currently need anyhow.
The other things my brother wanted to discuss with me were actually mostly good news for me. He's still in no hurry to sell the house. So long as our mother remains in hospital, her living expenses are essentially zero, and her income is far more than is necessary to cover the costs of maintaining the house with only me living in it. (He's hoping she will recover enough to be able to have a meaningful conversation with him about what she wants to do with the house before he has to make a decision on it. But this is months away from being possible at this point, and may never be. We just don't know at this point.) He has also decided to keep the insurance on the car (good for me, because I would not be able to continue to live here without one) and even to keep our mother's name on it as one of the insured drivers. (The hospital staff have told us multiple times she will never drive again, but my brother figured it's not too expensive to insure her for another year, just in case they're wrong about this too.)
When they left, my brother and SIL took with them all the food from the pantry I won't eat. They will donate what they can and dispose of the rest (possibly after keeping one bag of coffee for their son, and one box of tea for themselves--my mother had had at least 4 of each stockpiled). This means there is no longer any food being stored in our living room, and I should be able to move most of what has been stored on our two kitchen tables into the pantry cupboard where it belongs.
Secret Santa
Fit December
Power Squats Challenge
Fighter's Codex - on hiatus until January 2
3km run
6km with Shelby
Couldn't get out for running or walking in the AM due to rain. Then had to wait at the house to talk with my brother. So Shelby's walk and my run happened late in the day. I was too tired to do anything else afterward.
writing: 514 words
French: Netflix
GOBOT
GBOT
FC report:
On hiatus until January 2.
A stressful day. Nothing bad happened. Just a lot of talking about and thinking about the situation with my mother.
The hospital called me in the morning. It was the doc overseeing my mother's care this week, who had my brother in the room with him and wanted to talk to both of us about her care status.
When she was first brought in to the first hospital, they put her on a ventilator right away. But after we elected not to pursue surgery, they had her listed as "no code". (They did not even ask me about this. They just assumed she was no code, since they thought she was brain dead at that point. After we said no to surgery, the ER doc came to talk to me and said the next step was to decide when to withdraw life support. My brother was still on the road, driving to the hospital at that point. But when I told the ER doc I wanted them to continue providing care at least until my brother had a chance to see our mother, the ER doc looked alarmed. She said to me, "But if she codes, we won't resuscitate her! We don't want to put her through that!" I wasn't even considering that she could code at that point, since she was already on the ventilator, and her heart had presumably been fine that morning, and the new issue was with her brain, not her heart. I'd only meant not to remove the ventilator until my brother got there. But the ER doc had acted like even that was asking too much.)
Then, when it turned out our mother wasn't brain dead, and my brother authorized her transfer to the bigger hospital so she could have surgery, she was listed as "full code" at that hospital. Which the neurosurgeon seemed not to like. She mentioned our mother's code status to my brother multiple times, in a way he certainly interpreted as her nudging him to reconsider it. So we talked, and my brother decided to move our mother to R2 status (a decision which I supported and which her nurse practitioner also supported). This meant that the hospital would still administer necessary drugs, perform surgery if indicated, and use a ventilator to support our mother's life if necessary, but they would not perform chest compressions or defibrillate her. The thinking on this was that her heart had been healthy when all of this started. If it were to stop now, that would be an indication things were trending in the wrong direction. If the hospital successfully resuscitated her, she would then have to deal with heart damage and broken ribs on top of an already deteriorating neurological crisis, and it was extremely unlikely she would ever recover from that enough to enjoy any kind of quality of life at all.
Yesterday's phone call was because our mother's doc (at least the one who is on-call this week) wanted my brother to withdraw the request to use a ventilator or any other kind of forced breathing on our mother. At the moment her vitals remain stable. She is breathing on her own. But if something were to happen now that required forced ventilation to sustain her life, this doc was now telling us that would be something she would not recover from. She is very much weaker now than she was two and a half weeks ago, simply because she has been lying in an ICU bed doing nothing for herself for those two and a half weeks. So now this doc is saying, if our mother were to develop breathing issues, say from pneumonia or some such, she is no longer strong enough to recover from that, and we should just let her go.
My brother and his wife stopped in to see me (and to collect some documents and visit my mother's bank to establish my brother's PoA to control her finances) on their way home in the afternoon. We talked about the current recommendation from the hospital, which my brother said he was inclined to agree with. I told him I trust his judgement better than the hospital staff's at this point, considering all of the conflicting messages we have been given already. (Today's doc even acknowledged we have good reason to distrust what medical personnel tell us at this point.)
So our mother's care status will now change again. But this may not mean anything since the change only applies to care she doesn't currently need anyhow.
The other things my brother wanted to discuss with me were actually mostly good news for me. He's still in no hurry to sell the house. So long as our mother remains in hospital, her living expenses are essentially zero, and her income is far more than is necessary to cover the costs of maintaining the house with only me living in it. (He's hoping she will recover enough to be able to have a meaningful conversation with him about what she wants to do with the house before he has to make a decision on it. But this is months away from being possible at this point, and may never be. We just don't know at this point.) He has also decided to keep the insurance on the car (good for me, because I would not be able to continue to live here without one) and even to keep our mother's name on it as one of the insured drivers. (The hospital staff have told us multiple times she will never drive again, but my brother figured it's not too expensive to insure her for another year, just in case they're wrong about this too.)
When they left, my brother and SIL took with them all the food from the pantry I won't eat. They will donate what they can and dispose of the rest (possibly after keeping one bag of coffee for their son, and one box of tea for themselves--my mother had had at least 4 of each stockpiled). This means there is no longer any food being stored in our living room, and I should be able to move most of what has been stored on our two kitchen tables into the pantry cupboard where it belongs.
Secret Santa
Fit December
Power Squats Challenge
Fighter's Codex
- on hiatus until January 23km run
6km with Shelby
Couldn't get out for running or walking in the AM due to rain. Then had to wait at the house to talk with my brother. So Shelby's walk and my run happened late in the day. I was too tired to do anything else afterward.
writing: 514 words
French: Netflix
GOBOT
GBOT
FC report:
On hiatus until January 2.
Last edited:
PetiteSheWolf
Well-known member
Having such decisions on your parents is hard. Hugs - and for what it's worth, I think you're taking it in a very healthy way, considering her quality of life and wishes, not yours / your bro. Hugs, and will continue to think often of you all.
Good for the accomodations / car / food situation.
Mademoiselle Luna sends purrs to Shelby. I know the look you mean regarding Buddy, and "ravish me" describes it well, LOL! I saw it described also as "draw me like one of your French kitties"
Good for the accomodations / car / food situation.
Mademoiselle Luna sends purrs to Shelby. I know the look you mean regarding Buddy, and "ravish me" describes it well, LOL! I saw it described also as "draw me like one of your French kitties"
Thank you.
I don't know why this doc was so concerned about forced breathing, honestly. We have always said we consider a ventilator a temporary intervention, not a lifestyle. We had already made the decision to stop ventilation previously when we were flat out told doing so would result in clinical death. It's clear our mother doesn't like being intubated when she's conscious. Even the NG tube she clearly does not like. (I certainly hope that won't be permanent! Especially now that the hospital feels the need to restrain her to prevent her from pulling it out!) We're still hoping for recovery. (Not to where she was before. It's clear she'll never get back to that. But enough recovery that she'll still have some enjoyment of life.)
Yes. This gives me some breathing room. And some space with which to de-clutter the kitchen!
LOL.
December 28:
Secret Santa - Did some marching, some jumping, a little standing core work. Some dancing. (Dancing's in at least one of the gifts, isn't it?)
Fit December day 19
Power Squats Challenge days 27 + 28 - I am determined to finish at least one thing on time this month!
Fighter's Codex - on hiatus until January 2
3km run
6km with Shelby, 1.5 km errands
Another rainy day. Forecast promised us 90 minutes of dry in the morning, so that's when I went out with Shelby. And it ended up being the wettest hour of the day. (Shelby is tough. She didn't mind too much.) Mid-afternoon I saw the rain had let up. So got dressed to go out to return some library books. By the time I made it outside the rain had started again. (Not enough to soak through my bag and damage the books though, so it was okay.) I think it was finally dry by the time I got out for my run.
writing: 1242 words
French: Netflix
GOBOT
GBOT
Had trouble sleeping Wednesday night. Slept late Thursday as a result and also crashed in the afternoon. Which resulted in my being not at all tired Thursday night. I ended up staying up past 3AM to finish re-organizing the pantry. The up side is that all the food that's supposed to be in the pantry is now actually in the pantry. And I know how much of everything I have and where it is.
FC report:
On hiatus until January 2. (Or maybe January 1. I have one of those date books where you write in the dates yourself. And I'd already logged my FC plans. It will simplify things considerably if I start back on January 1.)
Secret Santa - Did some marching, some jumping, a little standing core work. Some dancing. (Dancing's in at least one of the gifts, isn't it?)
Fit December day 19
Power Squats Challenge days 27 + 28 - I am determined to finish at least one thing on time this month!
Fighter's Codex
- on hiatus until January 23km run
6km with Shelby, 1.5 km errands
Another rainy day. Forecast promised us 90 minutes of dry in the morning, so that's when I went out with Shelby. And it ended up being the wettest hour of the day. (Shelby is tough. She didn't mind too much.) Mid-afternoon I saw the rain had let up. So got dressed to go out to return some library books. By the time I made it outside the rain had started again. (Not enough to soak through my bag and damage the books though, so it was okay.) I think it was finally dry by the time I got out for my run.
writing: 1242 words
French: Netflix
GOBOT
GBOT
Had trouble sleeping Wednesday night. Slept late Thursday as a result and also crashed in the afternoon. Which resulted in my being not at all tired Thursday night. I ended up staying up past 3AM to finish re-organizing the pantry. The up side is that all the food that's supposed to be in the pantry is now actually in the pantry. And I know how much of everything I have and where it is.
FC report:
On hiatus until January 2. (Or maybe January 1. I have one of those date books where you write in the dates yourself. And I'd already logged my FC plans. It will simplify things considerably if I start back on January 1.
)
Maegaranthelas
Well-known member
from
Haha, sometimes past midnight is the perfect time to get your house in order! You may be in bed late, but you'll feel pretty dang good about what you achieved 
Very true. I did more work during the day yesterday. Am not nearly finished yet. But it did make me feel happy this morning when I first walked into the kitchen to see how much better it is already.Haha, sometimes past midnight is the perfect time to get your house in order! You may be in bed late, but you'll feel pretty dang good about what you achieved
December 29:
Secret Santa
Fit December
Power Squats Challenge
Fighter's Codex - on hiatus until January 1 or 2
3km run
6km with Shelby, 3 km errands
Actual sunshine for the first part of Shelby’s walk this morning! Afterward, instead of making use of the continued dry weather to get my other outdoor tasks done, I decided to continue last night’s de-cluttering efforts.
Actually, this was partially outdoor work, as one of the things I needed to do was finish brushing the Pinery sand off my tent so I could pack it away properly. So I did that. Then de-cluttered the laundry room, both bathrooms, and some more work on the kitchen. There are four laundry hampers in this house, none of which are mine. I washed the laundry I found in three of them. Then I went to the grocery store to buy a few things we didn’t already have far too much of. It was raining again by then, but not too hard, and thankfully had stopped again by the time I got out for my run.
None of the rooms I worked on today are finished yet. In the laundry room, for example, I only de-cluttered the open floor area. I have not yet been through the very large closet which is a total mess. I found 8—count them: 8!—4L bottles of white vinegar on the laundry room floor. At least only one of them was open! I also found 2 bottles of bleach—both open, 8 bottles of laundry detergent, at least 4 of which were already open (I managed to use one up though, with today’s laundry efforts, win!) and 2 bottles of fabric conditioner. Neither my mother nor I have ever used fabric conditioner.
Full disclosure: at this point, much of the de-cluttering has been more of a consolidation of the clutter. I’ve been stowing junk in the rooms Shelby and I do not use, so that we can better use—and even clean—the ones we do. Today I managed to totally clear one of the two tables we’ve been using in the kitchen to store food on. I then cleaned that table, and shifted most of the crap we had been storing on the kitchen floor and on top of the chest freezer onto that table. I can now open the chest freezer. (A good thing, since it is also full to the brim with food.) And see enough of the kitchen floor to clean it. Today it (along with the laundry room, one bathroom, and Shelby’s + my bedroom) just got swept. It’s a start.
P.S.: The broom and dust pan are stored in the laundry room closet. When I went to get them, I discovered yet another 4L bottle of vinegar in there. There are 33 litres of white vinegar in this house.
writing:
French: Netflix
I have been doing a writing challenge hosted by the writer who runs the online writing school I've subscribed to. He counts "consumable words" for the challenge, meaning pretty much anything he posts publicly. Alright for him since he was a prolific writer for many years. He's not currently. He's clearly making most of his writing income this year from reprints and royalties on past work. He has a many-years-long writing streak for his blog posts, which is great for him because his blog posts promote his already-established body of work, which then continues to sell and make money for him.
I currently have a total of 2 short stories (technically "novelettes") and 2 zombie-apocalypse-themed workout adventure stories available for sale anywhere in the world (and thus far only on Amazon, because I have not yet got my shit together to publish them more widely). If every single person who reads my "consumable words" loved my writing enough to rush out and buy all of my stories today (assuming they hadn't already done so--none of the available stories are new at this point), and was willing and able to purchase them from Amazon, there's currently only $4 of total product available, of which Amazon will keep 65%. (Also: it looks like if the customer is from a country that has to pay VAT, the VAT is now coming out of my 35%? I'm not sure. I need to investigate this further. Also: I need to increase my prices. Quality short stories/novelettes sell for more than 99 cents these days, and offering my stories for so little just makes people think I don't think they're any good. Which isn't true.)
I need to be spending the bulk of my time and effort on increasing my inventory right now. Not on advertising the puny inventory I already have available.
And this is hard. It's freaking hard to write fiction when my stress level is through the roof. But writing other stuff instead when what I need to be doing is writing fiction isn't helpful. So I've zeroed my word count and will only be reporting my count for new fiction words going forward. If this means I report a lot of days at zero words, so be it. I need to be doing as much as I can on the work I need to be doing right now, not pretending I'm accomplishing something by chasing a writing streak that fits someone else's definition of writing but doesn't actually help me at this point in my career.
GOBOT
GBOT
Unsurprisingly slept in this morning. Dragged myself out of bed when Shelby insisted, after far too little sleep. Fought hard to stay awake throughout the day and not go to bed until GBOT in the hope of actually sleeping through the night. I managed to stay awake, and then did fall asleep quickly when I wanted to, but once again did not sleep solidly throughout the night. It was at least better than the previous two nights though. So: progress.
FC report:
On hiatus.
Secret Santa
Fit December
Power Squats Challenge
Fighter's Codex
- on hiatus until January 1 or 23km run
6km with Shelby, 3 km errands
Actual sunshine for the first part of Shelby’s walk this morning! Afterward, instead of making use of the continued dry weather to get my other outdoor tasks done, I decided to continue last night’s de-cluttering efforts.
Actually, this was partially outdoor work, as one of the things I needed to do was finish brushing the Pinery sand off my tent so I could pack it away properly. So I did that. Then de-cluttered the laundry room, both bathrooms, and some more work on the kitchen. There are four laundry hampers in this house, none of which are mine. I washed the laundry I found in three of them. Then I went to the grocery store to buy a few things we didn’t already have far too much of. It was raining again by then, but not too hard, and thankfully had stopped again by the time I got out for my run.
None of the rooms I worked on today are finished yet. In the laundry room, for example, I only de-cluttered the open floor area. I have not yet been through the very large closet which is a total mess. I found 8—count them: 8!—4L bottles of white vinegar on the laundry room floor. At least only one of them was open! I also found 2 bottles of bleach—both open, 8 bottles of laundry detergent, at least 4 of which were already open (I managed to use one up though, with today’s laundry efforts, win!) and 2 bottles of fabric conditioner. Neither my mother nor I have ever used fabric conditioner.
Full disclosure: at this point, much of the de-cluttering has been more of a consolidation of the clutter. I’ve been stowing junk in the rooms Shelby and I do not use, so that we can better use—and even clean—the ones we do. Today I managed to totally clear one of the two tables we’ve been using in the kitchen to store food on. I then cleaned that table, and shifted most of the crap we had been storing on the kitchen floor and on top of the chest freezer onto that table. I can now open the chest freezer. (A good thing, since it is also full to the brim with food.) And see enough of the kitchen floor to clean it. Today it (along with the laundry room, one bathroom, and Shelby’s + my bedroom) just got swept. It’s a start.
P.S.: The broom and dust pan are stored in the laundry room closet. When I went to get them, I discovered yet another 4L bottle of vinegar in there. There are 33 litres of white vinegar in this house.
writing:
French: Netflix
I have been doing a writing challenge hosted by the writer who runs the online writing school I've subscribed to. He counts "consumable words" for the challenge, meaning pretty much anything he posts publicly. Alright for him since he was a prolific writer for many years. He's not currently. He's clearly making most of his writing income this year from reprints and royalties on past work. He has a many-years-long writing streak for his blog posts, which is great for him because his blog posts promote his already-established body of work, which then continues to sell and make money for him.
I currently have a total of 2 short stories (technically "novelettes") and 2 zombie-apocalypse-themed workout adventure stories available for sale anywhere in the world (and thus far only on Amazon, because I have not yet got my shit together to publish them more widely). If every single person who reads my "consumable words" loved my writing enough to rush out and buy all of my stories today (assuming they hadn't already done so--none of the available stories are new at this point), and was willing and able to purchase them from Amazon, there's currently only $4 of total product available, of which Amazon will keep 65%. (Also: it looks like if the customer is from a country that has to pay VAT, the VAT is now coming out of my 35%? I'm not sure. I need to investigate this further. Also: I need to increase my prices. Quality short stories/novelettes sell for more than 99 cents these days, and offering my stories for so little just makes people think I don't think they're any good. Which isn't true.)
I need to be spending the bulk of my time and effort on increasing my inventory right now. Not on advertising the puny inventory I already have available.
And this is hard. It's freaking hard to write fiction when my stress level is through the roof. But writing other stuff instead when what I need to be doing is writing fiction isn't helpful. So I've zeroed my word count and will only be reporting my count for new fiction words going forward. If this means I report a lot of days at zero words, so be it. I need to be doing as much as I can on the work I need to be doing right now, not pretending I'm accomplishing something by chasing a writing streak that fits someone else's definition of writing but doesn't actually help me at this point in my career.
GOBOT
GBOT
Unsurprisingly slept in this morning. Dragged myself out of bed when Shelby insisted, after far too little sleep. Fought hard to stay awake throughout the day and not go to bed until GBOT in the hope of actually sleeping through the night. I managed to stay awake, and then did fall asleep quickly when I wanted to, but once again did not sleep solidly throughout the night. It was at least better than the previous two nights though. So: progress.
FC report:
On hiatus.
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The time is fast approaching when I will be able to lay claim to being another year older, another year wiser. This past trip around Sol has been a difficult one for me. But I remain grateful for my continued good health and for my community with all of you wonderful Bees here in the Hive. To this end, I will once again be celebrating my birthday (it's on January 13th) with my annual birthday workout. This time around the workout will be:
53 for 53
Want to celebrate with me? Here's how you can:
53 for 53
Want to celebrate with me? Here's how you can:
- You may gift me with an exercise which I must do for 53 reps or 53 seconds on my birthday.
- If you do, you get to celebrate my birthday with me by also doing 53 reps or seconds of the same exercise!
- The gift has to be a physical exercise. "53 burpees" is a good gift. "53 tequila shots" is not. (I will definitely not be drinking 53 shots on my birthday or any day!)
- Yoga poses count if they are active yoga poses. e.g.: a 53-second crow pose would be a good gift, a 53-second shavasana would not be. (I will definitely be doing a nice, long--considerably longer than 53 seconds--meditation in shavasana after I have completed my birthday workout, but neither the meditation nor the shavasana qualify for any of the 53 exercises of my workout.)
- January is winter in my corner of the Hive. So no biking or swimming! A run hopefully will happen (although weather sometimes gets in the way of that in January--the current forecast for my area is 0° but with pretty high winds, so we shall see). If I'm able to run on my birthday, this year's run will be 5.3 km.
- The equipment I have available for this workout is: a yoga mat, yoga blocks (foam and cork), hand weights (3 and 8 lb. dumbbells), a pull-up bar (the kind that hangs from a door frame--so no kipping! I can do hangs, assisted pull-ups, and negative pull-ups only), resistance bands, a Swiss ball, socks on a hardwood floor, and my own body. I do not have stairs.
- post your gifts here in my Lair
Come on then. Hit me with your best shot.
December 30:
Secret Santa
Fit December
Power Squats Challenge days 29 + 30 -
Fighter's Codex - on hiatus until ?
3km run
6km with Shelby
My brother's godmother emailed me, asking how things are. I gave her the latest update on our mother. Then I pretty much vomited all of my personal stress over the situation into my email back to her. She responded with wisdom, compassion, and understanding. My father picked a good one there, for sure.
writing:
French: Netflix
Writing work this day was planning stuff, trying to get my act together to hit the ground running on January 1. The online writing school I've subscribed to is running a challenge this year to try to average 2024 words a day throughout 2024. I won't get any credit for winning the challenge since I already have a subscription to everything in the school. On the other hand, it won't cost me anything to enter the challenge since I already have a subscription to everything in the school. And the volume is about right: something I'll need to push for but that I can do without burning out if I work at it consistently. So that's the plan for the new year.
I'm also considering a story-a-week challenge for the year beginning at the start of my own new year, on my birthday. (Or maybe I'll start that one right after my birthday, given that my birthday will mostly be working out and eating pizza. The story-a-week challenge is for 52 weeks. So I can start two days after my 53rd birthday and still finish before my 54th birthday.) This one would be tough for me. But I think it's what I most need to be working on right now. Maybe I'll even push for Extra Credit and try to write 54 stories in my 54th year. (Again: no school credits since I already have the subscription. But doing this work would be super valuable to me!)
GOBOT
GBOT
Napped in the evening. But still got to bed on time and slept well throughout the night. (The email from my brother's godmother certainly helped with this.)
FC report:
I looked at my calendar again and realized I actually need to return to Fighter's Codex on December 31 to make the stuff I've already written into my date book/planner line up. And I definitely still have Secret Santa stuff to do December 31 and January 1. Maybe I'll take some time off from Fit December so I can better fit in FC and SS and just not worry about the fact this would then push my completion of FD past my birthday. (I've downloaded the PDF. So I can complete FD whenever I want. And I won't be starting a new program in January with so much of FC and FD left to do in any case.) So yeah. This is likely what I'll do.
Secret Santa
Fit December
Power Squats Challenge days 29 + 30 -
Fighter's Codex
- on hiatus until ?3km run
6km with Shelby
My brother's godmother emailed me, asking how things are. I gave her the latest update on our mother. Then I pretty much vomited all of my personal stress over the situation into my email back to her. She responded with wisdom, compassion, and understanding. My father picked a good one there, for sure.
writing:
French: Netflix
Writing work this day was planning stuff, trying to get my act together to hit the ground running on January 1. The online writing school I've subscribed to is running a challenge this year to try to average 2024 words a day throughout 2024. I won't get any credit for winning the challenge since I already have a subscription to everything in the school. On the other hand, it won't cost me anything to enter the challenge since I already have a subscription to everything in the school. And the volume is about right: something I'll need to push for but that I can do without burning out if I work at it consistently. So that's the plan for the new year.
I'm also considering a story-a-week challenge for the year beginning at the start of my own new year, on my birthday. (Or maybe I'll start that one right after my birthday, given that my birthday will mostly be working out and eating pizza. The story-a-week challenge is for 52 weeks. So I can start two days after my 53rd birthday and still finish before my 54th birthday.) This one would be tough for me. But I think it's what I most need to be working on right now. Maybe I'll even push for Extra Credit and try to write 54 stories in my 54th year. (Again: no school credits since I already have the subscription. But doing this work would be super valuable to me!)
GOBOT
GBOT
Napped in the evening. But still got to bed on time and slept well throughout the night. (The email from my brother's godmother certainly helped with this.)
FC report:
I looked at my calendar again and realized I actually need to return to Fighter's Codex on December 31 to make the stuff I've already written into my date book/planner line up. And I definitely still have Secret Santa stuff to do December 31 and January 1. Maybe I'll take some time off from Fit December so I can better fit in FC and SS and just not worry about the fact this would then push my completion of FD past my birthday. (I've downloaded the PDF. So I can complete FD whenever I want. And I won't be starting a new program in January with so much of FC and FD left to do in any case.) So yeah. This is likely what I'll do.
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from
Nevetharine
Well-known member
Congrats on completing the Power Squats Challenge. 
PetiteSheWolf
Well-known member
Grats on the challenge!
Syrius
Well-known member
Valkyrie
from
The Sonoran Desert
Pronouns: she/her
Posts: 1,158
from
The Sonoran Desert
Pronouns: she/her
Posts: 1,158
"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others."
Congrats on Power Squats! 
Mamatigerj
Well-known member
Congratulations on completing the Power Squats Challenge! 
This is so good to read.
TopNotch
Well-known member
Thank you:
@Fremen
@Nevetharine
@PetiteSheWolf
@Syrius
@Haleth
@Mamatigerj
@mavie
@TopNotch
@Fremen
@Nevetharine
@PetiteSheWolf
@Syrius
@Haleth
@Mamatigerj
@mavie
@TopNotch
Yup. I need to be able to do more than NaNo volume on a consistent basis to make a go of this writing gig.
MadamMeow
Well-known member
Fae
from
Central NJ
Posts: 1,593
from
Central NJ
Posts: 1,593
"I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time, but Im too young to worry..."
Congrats and good luck on your writing challenges!
Sorry to hear for everything else going on, but I hope you still have a great New Year!
Sorry to hear for everything else going on, but I hope you still have a great New Year!
Thank you @MadamMeow
Anyone experiencing extreme weather/a freak weather event in your corner of the Hive this week? (Noteworthy enough to make the news?)
Please post a link here if you've got something good.
(It's for a prompt for the story I'm writing this week. So the wilder the better. But so long as there's an online news story about it, I can use it.)
Please post a link here if you've got something good.
(It's for a prompt for the story I'm writing this week. So the wilder the better. But so long as there's an online news story about it, I can use it.)
Anek
Well-known member
Sorceress
from
Bavaria, Germany
Pronouns: She/her
Posts: 2,913
from
Bavaria, Germany
Pronouns: She/her
Posts: 2,913
"If the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember Cedric Diggory."
Congrats!!
Germany is flooded in huge areas, not exactly where i am but i guess you can consider it extreme: https://www.dw.com/en/germany-grappling-with-flooding-amid-heavy-rains/video-67856874
If earthquakes and tsunamis count as weather, you probably heard of Japan today.
Thank you!
I don't know if they count or not. I think of weather as more atmospheric events and their effects, not seismic events. But the earthquake did get reported on our weather network here. So maybe?
I think flooding will probably be better for me to work with though. So thank you for that.
December 31:
Secret Santa - some work for ye ol' glutes, some balancing, some nice restorative yoga. See also my other workouts this day.
Fit December
Fighter's Codex day 22
3km run
6km with Shelby
writing:
French: Netflix
Writing work was planning for the new year, getting some things set up, committing to the challenges.
GOBOT - up early to game with @'rin and @sleep_twitch
GBOT
FC report:
Kicking practice day (my favourite!) with only a few push-ups. (Hah! Did you see that? I did it again! "only... push-ups"!) All push-ups were done in straight sets of 10 with no breaks! One set may have been spiced up a bit to cover some Secret Santa stuff. SS may have been added to a few other moves too--knees a little higher for one of the filler exercises, a little bit of weight added to the 4th exercise. Things like that.
Secret Santa - some work for ye ol' glutes, some balancing, some nice restorative yoga. See also my other workouts this day.
Fit December
Fighter's Codex day 22
3km run
6km with Shelby
writing:
French: Netflix
Writing work was planning for the new year, getting some things set up, committing to the challenges.
GOBOT
- up early to game with @'rin and @sleep_twitch GBOT
FC report:
Kicking practice day (my favourite!) with only a few push-ups. (Hah! Did you see that? I did it again! "only... push-ups"!) All push-ups were done in straight sets of 10 with no breaks! One set may have been spiced up a bit to cover some Secret Santa stuff. SS may have been added to a few other moves too--knees a little higher for one of the filler exercises, a little bit of weight added to the 4th exercise. Things like that.
January 1 Secret Santa stuff: Not done yet, but to comply with the posting deadline: I will be completing some more of the yoga workouts today, and maybe some more cardio stuff. Plus I'll be doing Fighter's Codex day 23 (punches and push-ups)--so whatever gift exercises that covers.
Today's Hive video meet-up, with Bees from all over the world, from different traditions and beliefs and lifestyles all coming together in community, reminded me of this song, long a holiday favourite of mine and personally meaningful to me in my own tradition of hosting dinner parties in which Christians, Pagans, Muslims, Jews, Atheists, Agnostics, Buddhists and others have all at one time or another sat together at my table.
I'm wishing peace and love and strength for you all as we continue forward into the new year, navigating our wild and wonderful and oftentimes challenging world together.
I'm wishing peace and love and strength for you all as we continue forward into the new year, navigating our wild and wonderful and oftentimes challenging world together.
January 1:
Secret Santa - animal yoga, dancing to a favourite holiday tune
Fit December
Fighter's Codex day 23 - extended breaks
running
6km + 3km with Shelby
writing: DAREBEE, short story research, correspondence with writing school, reading for upcoming workshop
new fiction words: 0
fiction YTD: 0
new consumable words: 381
consumable YTD: 381
This will be my new format for reporting my writing. The first line a general description of what I did that day, followed by a tally of new fiction words written that day, total year-to-date fiction words, new "consumable" words written that day, and total consumable words year-to-date.
The person running the 2024 words per day in 2024 challenge I am doing counts blog posts as consumable words but not comments on blog posts. This makes counting words for my posts on DAREBEE a bit tricky because something like this check-in thread, for instance, is essentially a weblog (which is likely being "consumed" by a lot more people than would be posts I made on any blog I set up on my own website at this point). But the "comments" are mixed in the same thread as my "posts". I have decided I am going to count words in my check-in thread which would be new blog posts if I was using a blog structure to write about this stuff (such as this post here) but not my responses to comments you guys make on my posts (which in a blog format would be me essentially commenting on my own blog posts). Ditto for other threads on DAREBEE I have started such as DAREBEETS Adventures, the Secret Santa Workout Gift Exchange, Bardic Circle, and Yoga Team. When I respond to other Bees' posts, that is akin to me commenting on your blogs. So those words won't count.
Consumable words includes any new fiction words I write (regardless of whether or not they're published yet). I'll also be separating out my fiction words and reporting them separately since, as I've noted previously, new fiction needs to be the bulk of what I'm writing right now.
French: Netflix - I am working through a series I have seen before, watching it now with a French language track and French subtitles.
GOBOT
GBOT
FC report:
Fists of Fury. This was the last 100 push-ups day in the program. (There is still one day left with 50 push-ups and one with 75.) All were done as full push-ups. (But then all were essentially singles, being part of sets of 20 push-up + punch combos.)
I got a little too close to my desk during one set and ended up uppercutting my desk. Ouch! I iced my hand between sets after that. This morning it is still a bit tender, but not swollen. So I'm pretty sure everything is fine.
I want to continue with my running and also doing some more yoga. So I have decided to keep Fighter's Codex and Fit December separated now to facilitate this. I will complete FC first. Then I will return to FD and complete that (taking the day off for my birthday, because nothing but 53 for 53 and Shelby's walk will happen on that day!)
I am thinking 60 Days of HIIT will be a good choice to begin after FD. I'd like to keep some HIIT training in my regimen, which yoga generally is not, and running definitely won't be for me during the winter months. 60DoH looks good for giving me that in a workout that doesn't take too much time to complete. And I like that 1/4 of the days are combat, because I definitely want to keep up with my combat training.
Neither FD nor 60DoH include push-ups however. Yoga often does, but generally only singles. I can do 10 push-ups in one set with no break now--an ability I don't want to lose. So I need something to add into my schedule that will enable me to keep up with my push-ups training--but without being a 100+ push-ups a day monstrosity that I will have too much mental resistance to doing. @Sólveig introduced me to the Croft workout, which I think will be perfect for this. It's a nice full-body workout that plays to my strengths but has just enough upper body work in there to help me keep improving where I'm weak. Especially if I do push-ups to failure on one set instead of just the listed ten. I think that could be good.
Secret Santa - animal yoga, dancing to a favourite holiday tune
Fit December
Fighter's Codex day 23 - extended breaks
running
6km + 3km with Shelby
writing: DAREBEE, short story research, correspondence with writing school, reading for upcoming workshop
new fiction words: 0
fiction YTD: 0
new consumable words: 381
consumable YTD: 381
This will be my new format for reporting my writing. The first line a general description of what I did that day, followed by a tally of new fiction words written that day, total year-to-date fiction words, new "consumable" words written that day, and total consumable words year-to-date.
The person running the 2024 words per day in 2024 challenge I am doing counts blog posts as consumable words but not comments on blog posts. This makes counting words for my posts on DAREBEE a bit tricky because something like this check-in thread, for instance, is essentially a weblog (which is likely being "consumed" by a lot more people than would be posts I made on any blog I set up on my own website at this point). But the "comments" are mixed in the same thread as my "posts". I have decided I am going to count words in my check-in thread which would be new blog posts if I was using a blog structure to write about this stuff (such as this post here) but not my responses to comments you guys make on my posts (which in a blog format would be me essentially commenting on my own blog posts). Ditto for other threads on DAREBEE I have started such as DAREBEETS Adventures, the Secret Santa Workout Gift Exchange, Bardic Circle, and Yoga Team. When I respond to other Bees' posts, that is akin to me commenting on your blogs. So those words won't count.
Consumable words includes any new fiction words I write (regardless of whether or not they're published yet). I'll also be separating out my fiction words and reporting them separately since, as I've noted previously, new fiction needs to be the bulk of what I'm writing right now.
French: Netflix - I am working through a series I have seen before, watching it now with a French language track and French subtitles.
GOBOT
GBOT
FC report:
Fists of Fury. This was the last 100 push-ups day in the program. (There is still one day left with 50 push-ups and one with 75.) All were done as full push-ups. (But then all were essentially singles, being part of sets of 20 push-up + punch combos.)
I got a little too close to my desk during one set and ended up uppercutting my desk. Ouch! I iced my hand between sets after that. This morning it is still a bit tender, but not swollen. So I'm pretty sure everything is fine.
I want to continue with my running and also doing some more yoga. So I have decided to keep Fighter's Codex and Fit December separated now to facilitate this. I will complete FC first. Then I will return to FD and complete that (taking the day off for my birthday, because nothing but 53 for 53 and Shelby's walk will happen on that day!)
I am thinking 60 Days of HIIT will be a good choice to begin after FD. I'd like to keep some HIIT training in my regimen, which yoga generally is not, and running definitely won't be for me during the winter months. 60DoH looks good for giving me that in a workout that doesn't take too much time to complete. And I like that 1/4 of the days are combat, because I definitely want to keep up with my combat training.
Neither FD nor 60DoH include push-ups however. Yoga often does, but generally only singles. I can do 10 push-ups in one set with no break now--an ability I don't want to lose. So I need something to add into my schedule that will enable me to keep up with my push-ups training--but without being a 100+ push-ups a day monstrosity that I will have too much mental resistance to doing. @Sólveig introduced me to the Croft workout, which I think will be perfect for this. It's a nice full-body workout that plays to my strengths but has just enough upper body work in there to help me keep improving where I'm weak. Especially if I do push-ups to failure on one set instead of just the listed ten. I think that could be good.
January 2 update on my mother:
My mother's EV drain was closed off fully for 48 hours, and my mother tolerated that fine. So the hospital removed the drain. Then she started to show concerning signs of increased intracranial pressure. So yesterday they performed a lumbar puncture to measure and temporarily reduce the pressure.
After that the surgeon called my brother back to request an in-person meeting to discuss a cerebral shunt. (My brother has medical power of attorney for our mother, since she is not able to speak for herself currently.)
My brother told the doc he could not meet with him until after noon today, since it is over a three hour drive for him to get to the hospital. The doc said fine, made my brother drive all the way out there, and then had the conversation with him while they were standing in a busy hospital hallway.
Anyhow... my brother authorized the surgery. Not sure exactly when that will happen, but I assume soon.
My mother's EV drain was closed off fully for 48 hours, and my mother tolerated that fine. So the hospital removed the drain. Then she started to show concerning signs of increased intracranial pressure. So yesterday they performed a lumbar puncture to measure and temporarily reduce the pressure.
After that the surgeon called my brother back to request an in-person meeting to discuss a cerebral shunt. (My brother has medical power of attorney for our mother, since she is not able to speak for herself currently.)
My brother told the doc he could not meet with him until after noon today, since it is over a three hour drive for him to get to the hospital. The doc said fine, made my brother drive all the way out there, and then had the conversation with him while they were standing in a busy hospital hallway.
Anyhow... my brother authorized the surgery. Not sure exactly when that will happen, but I assume soon.
MadamMeow
Well-known member
Fae
from
Central NJ
Posts: 1,593
from
Central NJ
Posts: 1,593
"I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time, but Im too young to worry..."
Hoping for the best for your mom. 
Thank you @MadamMeow
January 2:
Fit December - on hold
Fighter's Codex - oops!
running: 3 km
6km with Shelby
writing: DAREBEE, short story research, reading for upcoming workshop
new fiction words: 0
fiction YTD: 0
new consumable words: 381
consumable YTD: 1318
Gotta get myself writing something else today while I'm continuing to research the story I need to write next week!
French: Netflix
GOBOT
GBOT
FC report:
Let the day get away from me and did not want to rush FC since Day 24 is meant to be done SLOWLY. I will try to double up on Wednesday or, failing that, will do day 25 Wednesday and days 24 and 26 on Thursday. (Day 26 is a super short day.)
Fit December - on hold
Fighter's Codex
- oops!running: 3 km
6km with Shelby
writing: DAREBEE, short story research, reading for upcoming workshop
new fiction words: 0
fiction YTD: 0
new consumable words: 381
consumable YTD: 1318
Gotta get myself writing something else today while I'm continuing to research the story I need to write next week!
French: Netflix
GOBOT
GBOT
FC report:
Let the day get away from me and did not want to rush FC since Day 24 is meant to be done SLOWLY. I will try to double up on Wednesday or, failing that, will do day 25 Wednesday and days 24 and 26 on Thursday. (Day 26 is a super short day.)
January 3:
Fit December - on hold
Fighter's Codex - missed again 
running: 3 km
hiking: 6km with Shelby, 1.5 km errands
writing: DAREBEE, short story research, reading for upcoming workshop
new fiction words: 0
fiction YTD: 0
new consumable words: 393
consumable YTD: 1711
French: Netflix
GOBOT
GBOT
FC report:
Missed again.
I need to shift things around to do the most important things earlier in the day.
My sleep is still partially messed up in that I seem to be alternating between sound sleep and restless nights. Tuesday night was a restless one. I still got up on time January 3, did a bunch of research, walked Shelby, did errands, went for a run. But then I crashed at 4PM. Slept for 2.5 hours. Fed Shelby and then myself ('cause I didn't want to eat dinner too late). Thought I would still have time for writing and Fighter's Codex in the evening. But then a good chunk of my evening ended up being taken up with discussing house stuff with my brother and sending an update re: our mother to one of her friends who had written to me. I didn't want to miss GBOT because that just makes my erratic sleep issues worse.
Anyhow... last night's sleep was good, in spite of the long afternoon nap. So I'm going to make use of that to do my writing first and work on shifting research to the end of the day. If research doesn't happen, I can always just write what I already know. If writing doesn't happen... well then, I'd need a whole new life plan. But I've already considered the realistic alternatives many times over, and I don't like any of them near as much as this one.
Fit December - on hold
Fighter's Codex
- missed again running: 3 km
hiking: 6km with Shelby, 1.5 km errands
writing: DAREBEE, short story research, reading for upcoming workshop
new fiction words: 0
fiction YTD: 0
new consumable words: 393
consumable YTD: 1711
French: Netflix
GOBOT
GBOT
FC report:
Missed again.
I need to shift things around to do the most important things earlier in the day.
My sleep is still partially messed up in that I seem to be alternating between sound sleep and restless nights. Tuesday night was a restless one. I still got up on time January 3, did a bunch of research, walked Shelby, did errands, went for a run. But then I crashed at 4PM. Slept for 2.5 hours. Fed Shelby and then myself ('cause I didn't want to eat dinner too late). Thought I would still have time for writing and Fighter's Codex in the evening. But then a good chunk of my evening ended up being taken up with discussing house stuff with my brother and sending an update re: our mother to one of her friends who had written to me. I didn't want to miss GBOT because that just makes my erratic sleep issues worse.
Anyhow... last night's sleep was good, in spite of the long afternoon nap. So I'm going to make use of that to do my writing first and work on shifting research to the end of the day. If research doesn't happen, I can always just write what I already know. If writing doesn't happen... well then, I'd need a whole new life plan. But I've already considered the realistic alternatives many times over, and I don't like any of them near as much as this one.
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Nevetharine
Well-known member
I really hope you can make it work! I've kind of accepted it will never be more than a hobby for me. There are other plans on the horizon, when my ship of money arrives.
@Laura Rainbow Dragon one of my favourite exercices is sumo squat, would it suit to you as a birthday gift?
Absolutely, @graoumia ! Thank you!
Thank you.
This makes me sad. Which is not a reflection on you at all. I 100% respect your wisdom regarding your own situation, and your decision to pursue the life path that is best for you under your circumstances. What makes me sad is a world which would push someone with your obvious passion for and skill with story-telling to instead spend your time and energy trying to sell other people's luggage. Capitalism has trained our species to value the wrong things (in my not-so-humble opinion).
How much joy does a moving story, an uplifting concert, or an entertaining movie bring into people's lives? Compared to a suitcase (or two--which apparently doesn't bring any joy at all, even though one of them was free!)? Yet society values your efforts if you spend your time working for pennies in pursuit of someone else's dream, but not if you invest the same time and energy into pursuing your own creative dreams. Creatives are only valued when they're fabulously financially successful (which is not most people in most professions, and is almost nobody at the start of their careers!). The rest of us are looked down upon, told to "get a real job" etc.
The only reason I'm able to try what I'm trying now is because I spent most of the past 53 years pursuing other people's dreams. Some parts of that were actually okay. Other parts sucked. I don't have any regrets. I did the best I could with the hand I was dealt. But I'm in a position now where I have a real chance to pursue my own dream. So that's what I'm going to do.
My only suggestion to you is: maybe try not to use the word "never". "Not now" is a whole 'nother kettle of fish. You understand your now. You know what you need to do to survive it. But none of us truly knows what the future will bring.
Please try and keep the faith. Your stories matter!
It's hard not to engage in fantasizing about this some days. (Oh, who am I kidding? Most days. Every day. It's a constant struggle!)There are other plans on the horizon, when my ship of money arrives.