A mechanical heartbeat in the snowy forest

PetiteSheWolf

PetiteSheWolf

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Alchemist from France
Posts: 1,949
Weight for last week: 44.4 kg

Monday meditation, daily habit, and more than 5,000 steps.

Today SOMA D2, Daily plank challenge D10, 3*balance asanas. Also did yesterday evening and this morning a certain number of stretches to take care of my grumpy lumbars. Don't know if it is carrying / lifting stuffs for the move back home, or a wrong posture with the weights, but it pinched - strongly - several times yesterday. We'll see how it behaves after those stretches (still a bit pinchy when I came back with groceries before noon).

157 consecutive days of exercise (D150 on 03/09).
 
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PetiteSheWolf

PetiteSheWolf

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Alchemist from France
Posts: 1,949
Thursday meditation, daily habit, and steps done.

This morning SOMA40 D5, daily plank challenge, modified locust.

Yesterday I was able to go back to my street market, it felt really nice ;) One of the best things about the place I live, I think!
Lets Eat GIF by Hunter Preston


160 consecutive days of exercise (D150 on 03/09).
 
PetiteSheWolf

PetiteSheWolf

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Alchemist from France
Posts: 1,949
Friday walked 5,000 steps AND went to a body balance class, daily habit and meditation done.
Saturday walked 5,000 steps, daily habit and meditation done.

So, for the week, meditation and daily habit great, walking 5 days / 7 . Goal not reached, but closer than in St Malo.

Saturday morning SOMA40 D6, daily plank challenge D14, balance asanas,
This morning SOMA40 D7, daily plank challenge D15, superman modified.

Averge weight for the week is 43.7 kg, down -0.7 kg from starting point last week. May it continue!

162 consecutive days of exercise (D150 on 03/09).
 
PetiteSheWolf

PetiteSheWolf

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Alchemist from France
Posts: 1,949
Monday walked, daily habit, meditation.
Tuesday walked, daily habit, meditation.

Tuesday morning SOMA40 D9, daily plank challenge D17, and yoga class
This morning SOMA40 D10, no plank, balance exercises.

Got a phone call from my mom yesterday after yoga with pretty bad news regarding dad's health. We are awaiting results of further exams before a final diagnosis so I don't want to talk too much about it, but it is shaking me. Hard to think of something else. I suggested I head back immediately for Sr Malo (where they are) but mom refused. We'll see, I gotta be strong for them and to be able to help them when we will know more.

Voila, thank you for listening to my ranting.

Oh, a positive thing: I tried

for lunch, really nice!

165 consecutive days of exercise (D150 on 03/09).
 
PetiteSheWolf

PetiteSheWolf

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Alchemist from France
Posts: 1,949
Hugs and thanks to all those who cliked on my post, as well as @graoumia (sorry had missed you on the first round, LOL) , @Damer and @Fremen .

Wednesday walked , meditation (boy it is useful!) and daily habit.

This morning SOMA40 D11. active rest day. Feels good! I did a few more asanas.

166 consecutive days of exercise (D150 on 03/09).
 
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PetiteSheWolf

PetiteSheWolf

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Alchemist from France
Posts: 1,949
Thursday walked, meditation, daily habit.
Friday meditation, daily habit, but no walking.

Yesterday morning SOMA40 D12
This morning SOMA40 D13.

168 consecutive days of exercise (D150 on 03/09).

So, the diagnosis for my father isn't good. Acute myeloid leukemia ; now they're making the cellular / genetic analysis for the subtype. With his age, several options are off the table. There are 2 drugs (mom couldn't remember the names, which isn't surprising, so I asked they write it down next visit) dad may try ; unless the markers suggest a cibled therapy, if one of those 2 doesn't work, it is a question of weeks. For the moment, dad prefers to stay in Bretagne. The good thing is, my bros are rallying - older bro has negociated with his boss for chunck of telecommuting that'd allow him to stay in Bretagne, and I can alternate with him, so mom isn't alone ; and second bro intends to come some week-ends too. Things are moving and changing nearly every day with new info and parents's decision, so that feels very destabilizing, but we'll rally around dad and mom and make it as smooth as it may be on both of them.
I hope I am not overstepping by sharing this with you, but it actually helps me clear my mind and see things.
 
Damer

Damer

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You're the third person today I talked to who's facing health issues with their father. As parents age we, inevitably, are going to come up against the inevitability of life. Emotionally it doesn't make it any easier to bear. Mentally however we can negotiate it. From my conversations from this morning: everything that was the past, good and bad, has brought us to the present. Now. As adults we deal with the practicalities first. Solve the issues we can solve and deal with the things we can deal with. We don't dwell on what may happen or what is likely to happen because we don't have any control over that. We take what actions we can take and do what we can do to maintain that semblance of control we need so we can navigate things better.

Know that I am thinking of you @PetiteSheWolf there are many of us in similar situations. You're not alone in that respect. Stay strong.
 
Lady Celerity

Lady Celerity

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from The Woods. NorCal
Posts: 818
"..one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on.."
@PetiteSheWolf I agree with @Damer. As someone who has been and is currently a caregiver for an elderly parent I would suggest to take good care of yourself right now. You cannot help others if your cup is empty. Be kind to yourself. Ask and accept help from others. You and your family are in my prayers.
 
PetiteSheWolf

PetiteSheWolf

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Alchemist from France
Posts: 1,949
Thank you all for the encouragements. Yes, as @Damer says, it is a season of life, and lost of us gotta go through it - counting my blessings that Dad was healthy that long, and taking things practically, one day at a time, and let go what we cannot control (which, in the end, is a lot).

Taking care of oneself is something I am not always good at, but will matter to hold in the longer run.

Weight wise,
I am now at 43.2 meaning a loss of 1.2 kg in 2 weeks, 0.5 kg in a week. That's good. Not sure how it will hold with stress, but that should also be part of taking care of myself.

Saturday did walk my 5,000 steps,meditation and daily habit.

So good week for both walking, meditation and walking habit. I won't count the walking when in St Malo , but here I should.

This morning SOMA40 D14.

169 consecutive days of exercise (D150 on 03/09).
 
PetiteSheWolf

PetiteSheWolf

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Alchemist from France
Posts: 1,949
Yesterday not enough walking, but daily habit and meditation.

This morning SOMA40 D18.

173 consecutive days of exercise (D150 on 03/09).

I was able to get more details on the protocols they're intending for Dad (depending on the cellular typing), and ... kinda gave me hope. I know everything can turn at the drop of a hat, but there is a chance he can have some decent, healthy time if it works, seems. We'll see - not something I can control , but I will keep focus on what I can do.
 
PetiteSheWolf

PetiteSheWolf

Well-known member
Alchemist from France
Posts: 1,949
Friday did a body balance class (counts instead of walk), meditation, daily habit.
Saturday walked my 5,000 steps, daily habit, meditation.
So, good week with walking or gym class 6 days/7, daily habit and meditation done.

Weight wise, 43.4 g this week, loss of 1 kg from start - 3 weeks ago, but gain from 0.2 kg from previous week ; with the stress we will allow that. 1 kg in three weeks is reasonible since I am not dieting, just trying to eat sensibly + be back to my usual intermittent fasting.

Saturday morning SOMA40 D20
This morning SOMA40 D21.

Next week Friday will be train to Bretagne, Saturday and Sunday in Bretagne (train back Friday evening) so no promise these 3 days for walk ; and for exercise Saturday and Sunday will try but may have only energy for some restorative yoga, we will see.

176 consecutive days of exercise (D150 on 03/09).
 
PetiteSheWolf

PetiteSheWolf

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Alchemist from France
Posts: 1,949
Thank you @NancyTree . First day of chemo seems to have gone though all right, he was feeling very cold, but not nauseous.

Monday no walking, but did daily habit and meditation.
Tuesday 5,000 steps, daily habit, meditation.

Tuesday morning SOMA40 D23
This morning SOMA40 D24.

Mom's starting all on how dad will be released in 4 weeks post chemo so I don't need to come take the relay from my older bro. I think she may have some bad surprise on either dad staying longer, or him being weaker than she thinks back home, so will try to come around that time for the WE and "surprise" stay longer if need be, but bail out and come back to Paris if indeed it is all right (and if she has set some help system, which Christophe and she are trying to set up these days). Not easy navigating my own anxiety, mom's healthy and fully understandable desire for autonomy -despite her eyes-, and all this uncertainty. I try to and hope to have the most graceful, helpful attitude, but that's more complicated than I expected. Well, one day after the other. Thanks for listening to my ramblings.

179 consecutive days of exercise (D150 on 03/09).
 
Laura Rainbow Dragon

Laura Rainbow Dragon

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Posts: 2,292
"Striving to be the change."
:hug: to you and your family re: the situation with your Dad, @PetiteSheWolf . Wishing strength and wisdom for you all.
It is great that the whole family is rallying to provide help where possible. I hope that your parents will be able to accept it. (And also to accept help from sources outside the family where it is available.)

Caregiving is a heavy burden. There are forces in society that try to insist it should not be. But it is. This is a difficult path you are walking. Please try to give some of that grace you seek to demonstrate to yourself too.
 
PetiteSheWolf

PetiteSheWolf

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Alchemist from France
Posts: 1,949
Thank you all for the grats and encouragements.
@Laura Rainbow Dragon , thank you for the reminder, as I easily feel guilty for not doing enough / feeling tired / insert whatever non-rational reason.

Seeing dad was not easy, but overall good. He is really a stoicist. I could see the secundary effects /difficulties, but he is pushing through. Mom is more emotional than dad, but also stronger than I feared. Older bro holds up fairly good, specially as he is an introvert (like me). I used the WE to do a good deal of paperwork for them, hope it helps. I will be back in 3 WEs, we'll see then if I stay longer.
I was really, really drained - had stomach troubles over there, and slept poorly those last three nights - and of course tried to hide it from family so that added stress ; this morning woke up super early but it was clear I was still "off" so I messaged to work I had to take the day off. Hate to do that, but the rest day did me good. Tomorrow I should be operational.

So, Thursday did walk, meditate, daily habit.
We'll drop the "count" for these three days, that's a small lenience I am giving me.
But overall Sunday to Thursday was good.

Average weight is 42.9 kg so overall loss of 1.5 kg in one month, it is decent.

Monday/ today I did not walk, but meditation and daily habit.

Friday morning, Saturday morning, yesterday morning, this Morning SOMA40 Days 26 to 29.

184 consecutive days of exercise (D180 on 03/10).
 
PetiteSheWolf

PetiteSheWolf

Well-known member
Alchemist from France
Posts: 1,949
Thank you all for the congrats, it means a lot. energy is super-low so doing these exercises requires, well.. stubborness, but I am glad I am keeping that streak - and did that program.

So, Tuesday no walking (will have to go back to that...), but meditation and daily habit.

This morning started Ronin's Blade D1. And here we come with the bokken!
Akira Kurosawa Japan GIF by Turner Classic Movies


186 consecutive days of exercise (D180 on 03/10).
 
PetiteSheWolf

PetiteSheWolf

Well-known member
Alchemist from France
Posts: 1,949
Thursday no walking, did meditation and daily habit.
Friday walked, meditation, daily habit.
Saturday no walking, meditation, daily habit.

Friday Ronin's blade D3
Saturday Ronin's blade D4
Sunday Ronin's blade D5.

190 consecutive days of exercise (D180 on 03/10).

Mom's back in Paris today (arriving early afternoon) and tomorrow (leaving same) for a doc appointment so I am taking care of her, and also visiting a friend at the hospital - a congenital cardiopathy buddy, you could say. She isn't doing good on her new treatment. I can't complain of my own heart when I see her situation!
 
PetiteSheWolf

PetiteSheWolf

Well-known member
Alchemist from France
Posts: 1,949
Sunday walked (yay! and my back thanked me), did meditation and daily habit.

This morning Ronin's blade D6.

191 consecutive days of exercise (D180 on 03/10).

Regarding weight, average for last week was 43.4 kg, looks like I am plateauing (means of 43.2, 43.4, 42.9 and now 43.4). At least average for September is 43.7, lower than August's 44.4 kg. If I continue to plateau this week, I will have to take stricter measures (or decide it is due to stress and let go, but that may not be a healthy choice. We'll see).
 
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