@Anek @CODawn @Sif_Shepard @JCU @Montserrat
@Fremen 
Friday October 14th
Okay.. the story of the last two days.
A collegue told me she was hurt deeply by something I had said a few days before (in a meeting she couldn't hear everything that was said because it was a bit noisy, so I suggested a hearing aid, and told about a friend who is a hearing care professional and that she told about how she could set up the hearing aid to specific purpose and needs). She found it very offensive (while I sincerely wanted to help). And she told me I've been very unkind to others, creating an unsafe environment, especially for the interns, that nobody dared to speak up in meetings, in particular F, that he's defeated, and another will run away soon... So I got really upset, because that's not my intention at all. And I felt aweful, because our new intern (Z.) told me about his experience with an unsafe supervisor with his previous internship, and I wanted to give him another Good experience, giving him the opportunity to learn..
So yesterday I asked another colleague (N.) how she feels about working with me. She recognised me being hard to have a discussion with, because I don't listen always to other views. But she doesn't feel unsafe or suppressed or anything.
Today I apologised to F, for my behavior. And he was sincerely surprised, he had no clue what I was talking about. I asked him how he felt, and he said he didn't find me unkind at all. The only thing he didn't like, was me 'nitpicking' and once or twice I reacted a bit harsh on something he did on his own and I disagreed, and yes it made him feel like he had to check everything with me before doing. But it wasn't a big deal for him, he didn't feel afraid to speak up at all. So I promised I would try to ask him why he did something instead of just saying I want it differently. And I would save the nitpicking for when we speak privately instead of in the meetings.
I was releaved he wasn't affected as much as my colleage said yesterday.
At last I spoke with our newest intern Z, and he felt totally safe, he had a completely different experience (positive), he didn't feel suppressed, he was happy he felt totally accepted and part of the team, dared to ask questions and his questions are taken seriously. So he also had no idea what I was talking about.
So, I am happy that I turn out not being a complete bitch. And getting feedback is never wrong, but the way my colleague presented it to me was really unnecessary.
But, I have a bit of work to do on me slowing down instead of responding too quickly. So, maybe I have to add mandatory mindfullness to my schedule.
Well, I'm drained now.
Edit: the best part of today was when I came home, Pico was already waiting underneath another car, to chaperone me home
Walk 3.86 km around the village (it was already dark after coming home), my watch had a dead battery, even though I charged it yesterday evening; apparently it didn't charge.. so had to do a walk to get my step goal officially...
Yoga 30 days of yoga, day 19.
Steps today: 6218 (it will be more like 9000)
Goals progress
Sport
Exercise 7 days (5/7)
Practice push ups twice a week (0/2)
Practice pull ups twice a week (0/2)
5.000 steps a day (5/7)
Self care
Healthy dinner 5 times a week (3/5).
Reasonable snacks 5 times a week (2/5)
Going to bed in time 5 times a week (1/5)
Doing something to wind down 5 times a week (1/5)
Getting 2 chores done (2/2)
Exercise streak: 203 days
Step streak: 29 days
from
and that trail is awesome indeed! I was thinking the same thing! I had never been there before, didn't even know it existed, I was discovering a marked trail and came across it. It's a 30 min drive, but I might go there some time for some variation in my running route
from
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that was a welcome contradiction to the negativity this week.
, 2 min rest.
.
