To Forge an Ironmaiden...

Nevetharine

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The organisers of the next LARP I'm going to pointed out that if you're, say, a small and fragile little thing, that shouldn't stop you from playing a mighty barbarian. You just need to focus on aspects of being a barbarian other than body type. I'm quite certain that with a little twist this can apply to real life, too. :p

This ties in with what @Fremen said, too. It might be worth a try attempting to focus on other areas and goals, instead of mere appearance. At least that's the attitude I'm trying on, since I'm starting to realise that if I base my confidence on what I see in the mirror, I will never be content at all either.
That makes sense. I suppose I just feel kind of trapped being something but really wanting to be something else. It's based more on the physical side of things.

And this is a little out there, but I often think about how it must feel to be intimate with someone if the genders were reversed. (Like if I was a man) If that makes sense without me having to spell it out. And that's not anything I can ever experience.

But yes maybe focusing more on the...ah... personality side of things may help.
 

Nevetharine

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Completed Day 2 of Push, Pull, Legs.

I changed the rest times up with each set to keep it challenging, so I didn't have to change the weight on the dumbbells.

Also completed Day 2 of Dead Hang Challenge.

Also going for walks later.

I'm trying to do some ab work randomly throughout the day.

We got a new TV for a good price, 42". It's so weird watching tv on it now because we had one of those old fashioned bulky ones 😂 The LED kind of gives me a bit of a headache tbh😖, probably my eyes that aren't used to it yet. But I read most of the time these days anyhoo.

I'm going to try eating more protein, that's about the only thing I'll loosely focus on now.
 

Nevetharine

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Completed Day 3 of Push,Pull,Legs.
And completed Day 3 of Dead Hang Challenge.

The dead hang was kind of difficult today. It was only 20 seconds but at the end of it my fingers were going tingly.

I'll probably go walking later in the day. It was mostly ab-work.

Have a great day, Bees :)
 

Nevetharine

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Hi :)

I'm on day, ah, (checks) Day 7 of Push Pull Legs and the Deadhang Challenge.

My diet is still nightmarish.

Though I'm eating a bit more protein, I'm barely having any produce. It's all carbs and protein right now. I'm trying to get myself to eat fruit at least, but even that's a challenge. I tried making a smoothie again, but I tossed half of it because it was too sweet. Bleh.

An example of what I eat in a day:

Breakfast - Coffee and a microwaved brownie. (Yes, I know. What??) OR a PB sandwich

~Lunch - Maybe a banana and peanutbutter, or yesterday I had four boiled eggs. The day before I had 2 soy-beef patties.

Dinner - Another PBJ. Or if I decide to eat actual food and I've gotten myself far enough to cook, it's just meat. That's usually followed up with candy. 🤦

I cooked, like actually cooked, two nights ago. I made spinach from the garden, pumpkin. Those things are hanging around in the fridge, all by themselves. Wishing to be eaten. I'll probably feed them to my grandfather. I cook food for him and for my husband but then I don't eat along. I just eat crap when nobody's around even if the healthy food is THERE!

Or live on coffee all day and binge unhealthy carbs around 4PM.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. Or how to fix it. I just don't have the appetite for the "real" food. But my body is craving lots of carbs which means it wants energy (probably. And it probably wants it from real food).

I've asked my husband today to buy me some Futurelife. It's an instant porridge, and it's kind of pricey but it's like eating a multivitamin in porridge form. It's got all the vitamins and minerals, probiotics and its high in protein and low in sugar. I used to like eating it with lentils and split peas (pulverised in the nutribullet). So I'll see if maybe that gets me back on track. I'm still taking my B-co too.

This situation reminds me of a book I've read where the girl lives on nothing but candybars and coffee. Then the guy force feeds her protein shakes and real food. And tells her to "Feed the woman first, then you can feed the child later". 🙄😂🤦 But there's no one around to forcefeed me but me 😂

I don't know how to get past this...whatever 'this' is. :( What do I do?

Edited to add - So I've just discovered that when you pulverise cooked Chickpeas into a powder in the nutribullet, and you add that powder to a little peanutbutter and some water to make like a thick paste... it's really really yummy. 😂🤦
 
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TopNotch

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"Motivation is temporary. Discipline is forever."
It's easy to tell you what to do but you already know it.
Self-discipline is about ignoring how you feel (I don't feel like working out; I don't feel like eating healthily; I don't feel like writing; I don't feel... etc) and doing what you have to in order to become what you really want to become. I really don't mean to sound preachy or harsh - I'm often really slack, and then I have to remind myself of where I want to be and what I have to do to get there. That's why I'm always writing new plans to follow - as a reminder and a goad. Perhaps that's something you could do.
Peanut butter on a spoon is also really really yummy. :angel:
 

SlothEnergy

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It's a struggle to get into a habit that is good long term, but not so pleasant in the moment. Maybe you could start small. Like, count your daily candies and decide to reduce with one every three days or something :LOL:. Or to avoid them at for one meal a day or every couple of days.
Also, if you can't bring yourself to just not have candies (or other sweet carbs) in the house, at least stash them inside a cupboard, behind other stuff where you don't see it all the time.
In my experience, just willpower doesn't work for most people, or at least not for long. Strategy is better :LOL:
 

Lallafa

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For me, I have to avoid buying any of the stuff that I know I shouldn't eat. Or else I'll eat it. I'm eating an oreo right now because I bought a box on a whim. But if it's not around I don't really think about it, or miss it. Just have to avoid the sugary sweets aisle at the grocery store. Diets tough but you can do it.
 

Nevetharine

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This I can't do, because my husband also eats the stuff. And I can't stash it away or just not buy it because I can't control myself.

The thing is really I don't eat too much of it. Just a small cupped handful. The problem is really that I'm eating it INSTEAD of healthy food.
For me, I have to avoid buying any of the stuff that I know I shouldn't eat. Or else I'll eat it. I'm eating an oreo right now because I bought a box on a whim. But if it's not around I don't really think about it, or miss it. Just have to avoid the sugary sweets aisle at the grocery store. Diets tough but you can do it.
 

Nevetharine

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@Nevetharine is there a reason you don't eat with your husband and grandfather?
I feel like it has to do with timing. ATM I don't want to eat at a set time.

My grandfather always has his main meal at noon. My husband always has dinner at 6PM.

I feel ATM like I have to wait until my body wants food before I eat. The problem is my body wants it but my mind isn't interested in eating. Until I'm really, really hungry. Then I zone out and eat questionable combinations of food.

I don't think I'm overeating. It's the types of food that are the issue.

It's almost a kind of laziness. I'd rather do other stuff than cook for myself. And I'd rather eat "low-maintenance" food than even eat leftovers.
 

Laura Rainbow Dragon

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"Striving to be the change."
Can you make the decision to say,"I'm going to eat with my husband," and then just do it? Force yourself to sit down with him when he eats and at least eat some of the healthy food, even if you cannot manage a full plate at that time.

I apologize if I am being obtuse. I am definitely NOT an expert on disordered eating. But it looks like intuitive eating is not working very well for you.

I think that you matter, and you are definitely worthy of taking better care of yourself!

:hug:
 

Nevetharine

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Hi :)

I did Day 8 of Push Pull Legs and the Deadhang Challenge - YESTERDAY. (Only managed a 30-sec deadhang though, missed 5 seconds)

Then I got "sick" I guess. It's just IBS type stuff.

So this morning I feel pretty drained. My stomach was so bloated yesterday my stomach muscles actually hurt today. That sounds like it shouldn't even be possible. But that's how it is. And I'm super tired.

I think I'll just walk today. Maybe later I'll do Day 9. Of the program.

I kind of plan on fasting today until around 2PM before I have food. So until then it's just black coffee and water. Some vitamins.

And I don't know why the heck I do this but it used to help to plan things out here. So here goes.

Breakfast - Coffee, black. B-co. Water

Lunch (2PM) - Futurelife smoothie, with 1 cup red lentils, half a cup mixed frozen veggies, and chia seeds. (I had this yesterday and it was yummy. The Futurelife is strawberry flavored - because I have the tastebuds of a child.)

Afternoon Snack (? Maybe. Around 4PMish) - Banana with peanutbutter.

Dinner - I made beef stew a few nights ago. But I don't think I'll be having that. Because my head's telling me the beef will aggravate my gut symptoms - because its tough-ish to digest.

So I'll be going with soy mince (which is also beef flavoured), over tomato and lettuce salad with light mayo. And probably a baked sweet potato.

Great! Plan made. :completed:

Next mission - actually accomplish plan. :amused:
 

Nevetharine

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Hi Bees,

So my nutrition has improved a little. I'm still drinking the Futurelife smoothies once a day now, sometimes twice if I'm really hungry. I've added legumes to it since the beginning for added protein. I'm also adding more vegetables now.

I guess drinking food most of the time isn't exactly the perfect solution, but there's no cooking involved and at least I'm consuming nutrients now instead of nothing but bread and peanutbutter.

I've kind of fallen into a rhythm of fasting during the morning again, then the smoothie for lunch, and cooked food for dinner. Sometimes I still don't eat the cooked food and I just have another smoothie.

I'm not working out at the moment. Just walking.
 

Nevetharine

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I did a 35-second deadhang this morning. I think maybe I'll work that into my daily routine. It doesn't take so long.

I put a can of tuna in the fridge. The plan is to have it with mayo later on a sandwich, but I'm already second-guessing it. Because I have to slice bread. I know it's pathetic. Throwing stuff in a blender or mixing tuna with mayo isn't much work but slicing bread is... what?? :smash: Anyway.

I know it doesn't make sense, but by the time I've finished cooking for the rest of the household I'm tired of cooking. And whatever I eat has to be next to no effort. As I said, sometimes I eat the food I've made for my husband, depending on what it is. Or maybe I'll eat some of it. Like when I make pasta with eggs, I'll just have the eggs.

I'm prioritizing protein, at least. But I can't bring myself to eat vegetables unless I hide them, like in the smoothies. So I'm buying those packs of frozen mixed veg with the carrots, cauli, brocolli and greenbeans. Some of them have marrows too. If I keep the serving to half a cup, I don't taste it at all in the smoothie.

And I also add a couple of cannabis leaves (6 or so, otherwise it'll be too bitter) into my smoothies. They have tons of vitamins and minerals, and are in the same realm as spinach, really.

I'm getting better at eating fruit again too. Well, grapes. I've been wondering about adding some dried fruit. But I only thought of it because of the vitamins and things. Dried fruit still retains their vitamins and minerals, right?
 

Tileenah

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Minerals, yes, vitamins, really not that much. You'd better go with frozen than with dried if you want those.

I know I'm asking this in the middle of nowhere but have you considered the possibility of textures being the problem with your food? (Lots of people around me have some kind of orality disorder and veggies are especially hard on them because of that...)
 

Nevetharine

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Minerals, yes, vitamins, really not that much. You'd better go with frozen than with dried if you want those.

I know I'm asking this in the middle of nowhere but have you considered the possibility of textures being the problem with your food? (Lots of people around me have some kind of orality disorder and veggies are especially hard on them because of that...)
RN it's more about the taste of it. But I suppose texture also plays a role. I've roasted some vegetables this weekend for my family, I didn't really enjoy them either. But I ate them. Because I don't eat rice that much. We had lamb chops, roasted veg and rice. So my options were just the chops and the veg.

And it's not even a case of sweet vs savoury. I don't even want to eat bananas right now anymore because their sweetness somehow tastes strange. Or ...hah...like banana sweetness.
 

Tileenah

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Okay, more a matter of taste, flavour and smell then. I'd say it's a matter of accomodation but of course when cooking is not your thing/you're too tired for it then it's awful...
:hug:
 

Nevetharine

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I did 5 sets of Full Body Built today. I added 5 sets of side lunges to it. Used 6kg (~12lb) dumbbells.

And then I did 3 sets of 10 second Deadhangs. Rest was 30 sec in between.

I just kind of decided to use the dumbells this morning on the fly. Because my muscles and bones need it. I suppose that's as good a reason as any. Maybe I'll try some yoga tomorrow.

I'll probably walk a ton at some point today. Yesterday I paced around in the hot sun for 2 and a half hours. One hour I did in the morning. The other hour and a half at 2pm yesterday. I got sunburnt on my shoulders... and felt kind of feverish by the time I got home. Lol. Oops. I'll try not to. But pacing around with music on is how I escape into the story of my book. So, it's kind of an automatic thing at this point.

Here's the food plan for today.

Breakfast - Coffee, cheese bun, baked beans and 2 boiled eggs.

Lunch - Futurelife smoothie with lentils.

Dinner - Pasta with sausages and veg. I'll probably just eat the sausage.:eager:
 

Fremen

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"“Keep an eye on the staircases. They like to change.” Percy Weasley, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone."
Happy Birthday :fireworks:
 

Nevetharine

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Hi everyone,

I haven't been here in a couple of months and so sad to see now that Kanary has passed on... 😢 I'm glad she's in a better, pain-free place though 🌺 and will definitely do her workout as tribute.

I was unemployed again and started writing a ton. So all my focus went into that... then I started a new job and all that got pushed to the side again.

Just focusing on fitness again.

And I finally found (well, rediscovered) the diet that works for me.

Keto. Meat, veg, fat, and cheese. (Lots of peanuts too but I need to lay off them because progress is stalling.)

Been on it for ~3 months, with sweeteners but now I plan to go without them because they keep me in the sweets-craving loop.

I'm down 7lbs so far, relatively painlessly.

The only thing that got thrown to the wayside was fitness, although I did do some yoga while I was at home.

I couldn't quite get the electrolytes right in the beginning and had some muscle cramps and weakness. But I feel like I have it now.

Now it's also an afterthought because I'm working again. So I haven't done anything super physical in months, and also have a sedentary job.

Needless to say, I'm a little lost at where to begin again. 😅

My (overactive) head tells me Foundation is too simple and a level 3 program is too difficult.

Anyhoo, just saying "hi" while I'm figuring it out... 🤷‍♀️
 

Nevetharine

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Added 15min of vigorous cycling today (my hubby decided to buy a second-hand exercise bike)

After some consideration, I actually think I'll start BootCamp tomorrow. Because it's supposed to only take 20 minutes to complete per day, which is good for the work week.

I'll be doing it on Level 1 though. Maybe once I finish the 60 days, I'll repeat it on Level 2, otherwise I'll go more towards a muscle building program if I'm at goal weight.

Foodwise my day looked like this:

Breakfast - Skipped, black coffee and sparkling water.

Lunch - Broke fast with a bulletproof coffee, then had scrambled eggs made in olive oil, and a lamb chop.

Dinner - Flaxseed keto bread (I added herbs for a herby bread) toasted with cheese and a whole avocado on the side, sliced tomatoes.

"Dessert" - Rooibos tea with cream, no sweetener.
 

Nevetharine

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Morning ☕☕☕☕

I've completed Day 1 of Bootcamp after the first cup of coffee on level 1. Later on I'll go for a walk and do a 40min Yin yoga class for flexibility. I find doing a little bit of yoga helps a lot with DOMS.

I forgot to mention something yesterday, and that's that I've discovered my gut doesn't like grains too much. May also be the fiber, but then again I still eat vegetables and seeds and they don't bother.

I actually started Keto because I had to take a ton of medicine for a month-long flu... And all those pills threw my gut way out of balance (I'll not go into details...)

I knew Keto was anti-inflammatory. But obviously you get the benefit of becoming fat-adapted, which only happened like two months later for me.

But then all the gut issues just vanished.

I did a little test, and yes, flours and grains bother my gut.

I'm also not 100% Keto all the time. Sometimes I'm more Carnivore and eat nothing but meat and fats on the odd days, and sometimes I'm more Paleo because I do allow a very small amount of raw honey (I see it more as a medicine), and some fruit now and then.

But the sweetness is a pretty slippery slope for me back to carb world, so I'm very careful with it.

My diet is very "clean" now in the sense that everything I eat is as close to natural as possible. No more processed foods. And I like it because it gives me an overall feeling of wellness.

Right, wall of text finished. If you've made it to the end of this post, you are a trooper 😅 Have a wonderful weekend :love:
 

Nevetharine

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Hello!

Did day 2 of Bootcamp today, man I cannot believe how much strength one loses when you haven't been active for a while. I actually struggled with 6lb dumbbells. But it's fine, we'll work with what we have.

I did a 10min yoga sequence this morning too for flexibility.

Food for today is as follow:

Breakfast - skipped.

Lunch - Chicken liver with brocolli and cauliflower, cheese, tomato and olive oil. Bulletproof coffee.

Dinner - Salad. Eggs, cheese, tomato and cucumber, flaxseed oil, and dried beef sticks.

Dessert - Rooibos tea with cream.

Yes, it totally tastes sweet.

Supplements I add daily - B-comp vitamin, magnesium, potassium, salt, vitamin C.

Now I've added ashwagandha and milk thistle, but those are once offs and I'll probably only use them until finished.
 

Nevetharine

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Greetings from the **other side** :muahaha:

Heh.

Anyways. I'll be doing day 4 of Bootcamp when I get home tonight, it's just stretching, will probably add yoga too.

Food for today:

Curried ground beef with mixed vegetables pan-fried in olive oil, cabbage, cheese, and 3 eggs. Flaxoil drizzled over the top, and a bulletproof tea with a teaspoon of honey.

That's lunch. And that's it for the day. I'll be sipping black coffee from my flask at work throughout the morning. Tonight I'll just have tea.

I'm tracking macros on keto, because I find it easy to undereat when I'm not tracking.

I did "lazy keto" for a while, but all that happened was the carbs crept back up, and I underate the fats and felt fatigued all day. So the structure of tracking helps me.

We bought some avocados and I'm wishing they would ripen already, because I want to make a smoothie. :eager:

They're taking extra long because it's cold, I think. It's supposed to be spring, yet here I am with a hot water bottle on my lap.

Have an awesome day! :wand:
 

Nevetharine

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Morning!

It's 06:28 over here, and I completed Day 5 of Bootcamp at 23:46 last night:smash: because I couldn't sleep and figured hey! What the heck, might as well get up and do cardio. :eager:

I also started the Miner Challenge, but I'm starting on Day 7, since I got to it late. Which is a bit of a cheat but I'll work the other days in like Totals throughout my days.

Food today:

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs and cumin with a bulletproof coffee. Supplements.

Lunch: Leftovers from yesterday, ground beef and veg. Another bulletproof coffee, with MCT oil.

Dinner: Probably ground beef again, with a fresh salad on the side.

Since I meal prep for the week on weekends, I've made a ton of curried ground beef. Lol
 

Nevetharine

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Well, I just kind of suck at keeping any kind of program.

I skipped 2 days of Bootcamp, but replaced them with HIIT workouts. Heck, maybe I should just do whatever I feel like, skip any structure and spare myself the guilt.

I'm calling it "intuitive movement", Lol:watch:

This morning, I did 3 sets of Expedited Delivery.

I'm wanting to do something more, leaning towards cycling at a steady pace for 20 minutes or so and then maybe doing a 15 minute yoga cooldown.

Actually, I want to do a dumbell workout but I should probably still give those muscles a rest...

Have a lovely weekend Bees!
 

Nevetharine

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Good plan 👍
I actually started Bootcamp to get back into the habit of daily movement (because it runs for 60 days), since I didn't do anything for months while adapting to Keto. So doing what I feel like that day might be a good way to get back into the habit as well.

Funny, I'm eating more calories now yet losing weight... and eating more actually makes me WANT to move more, too.
 
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