Neila's Journal

NightWolf714

NightWolf714

Well-known member
Berserker from Nashville, TN, USA
Pronouns: They/she
Posts: 263
"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. ~Carl Rogers"
neilarey said:
At least I've done well on the fitness front :shine: I can feel good about that. I did well on Clean & Press today. As in: I didn't die and I could maintain proper form throughout. I ate well and I hit all of my macros and micros. I resisted the temptation of cutting my Calorie budget to compensate for yesterday's excess. Instead, I focused on protein and reduced my fat intake but I kept the totals the same. It worked out nicely :drink:


What went well today: I caught up with all of my laundry, the basket is completely empty :welcome:
Click to expand...

I would like to gently point out that you list a bunch of things that went well that day. But then in the went well section, you only have the laundry being done. And after both sections, you try to say you did nothing really. It's so easy to miss, even when it's in front of you, the small things you did well and got done. (I do too.) But you're doing really well and should be proud of yourself. :)
 
LionAlpha

LionAlpha

Well-known member
Guardian from Kavala, Greece
Pronouns: He/Him
Posts: 130
Happy Birthday to the queen of DAREBEE!!!

Happy Birthday GIF by Eat'n Park
 
neilarey

neilarey

Administrator
DAREBEE Team
Shieldmaiden from Greece
Pronouns: she / her
Posts: 1,016
"I just work here."
Exercise


6AM Workout
:v: 30 minutes stepper
:v: Gratitude Practice
:v: 10 minutes meditation

Morning Workout
:v: Exercise of the Day
:v: I Bite Back Workout / recorded

Evening Workout:
:v: 90 minutes walking on the treadmill

Food

Breakfast: breakfast carrot oat cake (x1 protein boost) 19 g protein
Cake: protein chocolate tofu cake 1/3 25 g protein
Snack: apple slices with yogurt (x1 protein boost) 19 g protein
Lunch: tortilla wraps with mushrooms and yogurt sauce (x1 protein boost) 34 g protein
Dinner: cauliflower onion pizza 1/2 16 g protein

Total Protein Today: 116 g

january29.jpg

Sleep

Sleep Score: 82 (good)
✓ no liquids after 6 pm ✓ earplugs ✓ in bed by 10 pm


The Day

Phew... Today was a bit crazy. My water heater broke so I had to have a nearly cold shower this morning, then the kitchen tap broke and theeen I saw that Olitto managed to rip his jacket open somewhere. It was all so bad that it was actually funny :amused: I dealt with everything eventually but it all took forever. After a very late lunch, me and @Damer went to the rock climbing gym. It was empty so we tried pretty much all of the paths except for the hard ones. I have no idea how anyone can grip those! You need to be a freaking lizard-sticky-hands. It was pretty fun initially but it got boring after 20 minutes or so. Plus, by then I was ready for the day to be over already :tired:

wall.jpg


I made pizza for dinner but I had to rush it. The crust didn't have enough time to dry out.... and it became a cauliflower-pizza-scramble :hehehe: but it was still delicious.


What went well today: I had cake for breakfast!
How I felt today: OLD :hehehe: I was in high spirits, though. I had fun today even though I didn't do anything that special.


Thank you so much for the birthday wishes!!! :thanku: And have a wonderful rest of the day, everyone! See you tomorrow!
Long Live The Hive! :unicorn:
And thank you for stopping by :morelove:
 
neilarey

neilarey

Administrator
DAREBEE Team
Shieldmaiden from Greece
Pronouns: she / her
Posts: 1,016
"I just work here."
Exercise


5AM Workout
:v: 30 minutes stepper
:v: Gratitude Practice
:v: 10 minutes meditation

Morning Workouts
:v: Exercise of the Day
:v: Hard People Workout x 2 sets / recorded
:v: Centurion Plus Workout / recorded
:v: Clean & Press Workout x 5 sets

Evening Workout:
:v: 90 minutes walking on the treadmill


Food

Breakfast: creamy onion tofu with mushrooms and green beans (x1 protein boost) 30 g protein
Pre-Workout: spirulina protein shake 17 g protein
Treat: 3 carrot cake bites with my coffee 5 g protein
Lunch: eggplant wrap with hummus and cucumbers 22 g protein
Snack: 170 g baked sweet potato 3 g protein
Dinner: roasted broccoli with peas and yogurt mustard sauce (x2 protein boost) 46 g protein
Total Protein Today: 129 g

january30.jpg



Sleep

Sleep Score: 86 excellent! :hoppy:
✓ no liquids after 6 pm ✓ earplugs ✓ walking 90 minutes before bed ✓ in bed by 10 pm
Awake: 5:10 am, Up: 5:20 am



Woohoo! And my actual sleep time is actually 6h5min. I slept like the dead. Or like a rock. Walking for 90 minutes before bed for days will do that to you. It's amazing but it's unsustainable, I don't think. Maybe if I increase my carbs... It's something to think about for sure. I can still work while I am walking so it won't cut into my schedule that much. Decisions, decision... :ohyes:



The Day

Today was a good day. Nothing special happened. After i walked the boys this morning, I stayed in all day and worked, sweatpants and all. On the plus side, I completed all the major tasks for today and I didn't get distracted... much. Also, check out what landed on my desk today:

draft.jpg

I am looking forward to reading it over the weekend :bounce:

My hot water is fixed. My kitchen tap is replaced. And I've fixed Ollie's jacket last night. It's not the prettiest needlework out there but it's holding together.
Everything is back to normal :kcoffee:

I only have some housework and my walk left for today.


Have a wonderful rest of the day, everyone! See you tomorrow!
Long Live The Hive! :unicorn: And thank you for stopping by :morelove:
 
neilarey

neilarey

Administrator
DAREBEE Team
Shieldmaiden from Greece
Pronouns: she / her
Posts: 1,016
"I just work here."
The 1st month of the year is DONE! 11 to go.


Exercise


5AM Workout
:v: 30 minutes stepper
:v: Gratitude Practice
:v: 15 minutes meditation

Morning Workout
:v: Exercise of the Day
:v: Rebounding Workout on the trampoline x 1 set
:v: Stomach Vacuums Workout
:v: Tendons & Core Workout
:v: Hollow Hold Master Workout

Evening Workout:
:v: 90 minutes walking on the treadmill

Active rest day today for me! I am just doing some light cardio and light workouts today :moves: I forgot how amazing The Stomach Vaccums Workout makes me feel. Damn, there are so many workouts I want to do daily but THERE ARE JUST NOT ENOUGH HOURS in the day! 4 minutes here, 4 minutes there... it adds up! Still, I've got to figure it out.


Weigh In Day

Weigh in day today. Time to face the music :pmode:

Weight: 52.70kg, -350g since last week
Body Fat: 16.6%, -0.2% since last week

I increased my skeletal muscle but my overall muscle dropped by 170g. I am burning through fat AND muscle right now. Sigh. I'll keep this up for another 2 weeks and then it'll be time to re-calibrate. I'll see how it goes. I want to drop to 14% body fat by the end of the year. Where I am right now it's like pulling teeth. Sure, it can be done much faster but not without jeopardizing by metabolism and overall health. Even this is probably too fast but that's why I am writing everything down, so I can process and readjust, if necessary. I want to get there eventually. So long as I get there, I am happy, however long it takes. I would prefer to get there before my 40th birthday, though :loveit:


Food

Breakfast: creamy onion tofu with zucchini & mushrooms + spirulina protein shake 49 g protein
Lunch: lettuce & mince salad with yogurt sauce 35 g protein
Treat: two clementines, two dates stuffed with chocolate 2 g protein
Movie Snack: 100 g (3 oz) air-popped popcorn 13 g protein
Dinner: creamy chia tofu banana split with peanuts and chocolate chips 22 g protein

Total Protein Today: 125 g

january31.jpg

Sleep


Sleep Score: 83 (good)
✓ no liquids after 6 pm ✓ earplugs ✓ walking 90 minutes before bed ✓ in bed by 10 pm

Awake: 5:00 am, Up: 5:10 am
Actual Sleep Time: 7h 23m
I slept for a long time but I only had 3 sleep cycles and I only got 37 minutes of deep sleep. I carbo-loaded today so I'll see how it affects my sleep tonight :excited:



The Day


What went well today: A friend brought a whole box of organic oranges and clementines. I had two today while enjoying the sun. They were juicy and sweet!

oranges.jpg

How I felt today: happy, fulfilled and content



Today was great. Nothing happened, it was just a simple uneventful day but it felt wonderful. I've done this for a whole month now. Despite my strict regimen since the beginning of the year, I feel freer than ever. I just feel comfortable in my own skin again. I feel satisfied with how I am progressing and improving, every single day. If I knew how being this accountable to myself would drastically change my life for the better, I would have done it sooner. I feel like a whole new me and I achieved that in a single month. I am excited to see what happens in two month, three and six. I am determined to see the project "Neila 2.0" through. I honestly thought it would be too restricting to stick with and that it would be pure torture... and in the beginning, especially the first 3 days, it was! Then... things slowly started to change. It became easier and easier to keep going. My hope is to rewire myself completely by the end of this journey so I wouldn't need to record this much again and just live like this intuitively. Possible? Maybe. I am taking this one day at a time, one step at a time. I love how it's going and I love how I feel. Having now done this for a month, I am beginning to feel a lot less fragile and more sure on my feet. I am calmer and more centered. And this journal is 100% the reason why. It's my emotional anchor :wand:


If you are struggling right now. This is for you:

BABY STEPS. Don't think about tomorrow or how long it will take you to get where you want to be. Don't think of how difficult it'll be. That's tomorrow's problem. Today, just write things down. Make it through today. Crawl, if you have to. It doesn't matter how slowly your are going, you will get there in the end so long as you keep on moving! Find your anchor, nail yourself to it and show up like it's your job.

You don't feel it yet, you don't know this yet. It's worth it. You are worth it.



Have a wonderful rest of the day, everyone! Long Live The Hive! :unicorn:
And thank you for stopping by :thankyou:
 
Mamatigerj

Mamatigerj

Well-known member
from CentralTX, USA
Pronouns: she/her
Posts: 2,933
neilarey said:
If you are struggling right now. This is for you:

BABY STEPS. Don't think about tomorrow or how long it will take you to get where you want to be. Don't think of how difficult it'll be. That's tomorrow's problem. Today, just write things down. Make it through today. Crawl, if you have to. It doesn't matter how slowly your are going, you will get there in the end so long as you keep on moving! Find your anchor, nail yourself to it and show up like it's your job.

You don't feel it yet, you don't know this yet. It's worth it. You are worth it.
Click to expand...
You have no idea how much i needed to read (and re-read) this right now.
:thankyou::hheart:
 
Syrius

Syrius

Well-known member
Valkyrie from The Sonoran Desert
Pronouns: she/her
Posts: 1,354
"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others."
Cute pup!!! :sendinglove: And congrats on your progress! You are doing great. :morelove:

neilarey said:
If you are struggling right now. This is for you:

BABY STEPS. Don't think about tomorrow or how long it will take you to get where you want to be. Don't think of how difficult it'll be. That's tomorrow's problem. Today, just write things down. Make it through today. Crawl, if you have to. It doesn't matter how slowly your are going, you will get there in the end so long as you keep on moving! Find your anchor, nail yourself to it and show up like it's your job.

You don't feel it yet, you don't know this yet. It's worth it. You are worth it.
Click to expand...
Words to live by! I tell myself stuff like this all the time, but it hits differently when hearing it from someone else. :love-attack:
 
neilarey

neilarey

Administrator
DAREBEE Team
Shieldmaiden from Greece
Pronouns: she / her
Posts: 1,016
"I just work here."
“Καλό μήνα” Happy 1st f the Month, everyone!


Exercise

6AM Workout
:v: Gratitude Practice
:v: 10 minutes meditation
:v: 30 minutes stepper
:v: Stomach Vacuums Workout

Morning Workout
:v: Exercise of the Day x 3
:v: Rubicon Workout

Evening Workout:
:v: 90 minutes walking on the treadmill


Food

Breakfast: creamy beetroot tofu with zuccihini & mushrooms + spirulina protein shake 49 g protein
Lunch: tofu fish with rice + mixed greens with cucumber slices 21 g protein
Snacks: 420 g baked sweet potato from the fridge, 1 clementine, 1 dried fig 10 g protein
Dinner: protein yogurt with fresh fruit, dried fruit and nuts 38 g protein

Total Protein Today: 121 g

february1.jpg

Sleep

Sleep Score: 87 Excellent :hoppy:

✓ no liquids after 6 pm
✓ carbs for dinner
✓ earplugs
✓ walking 90 minutes before bed
✓ no screens after 9:30 pm

Awake: 5:00 am, Up: 5:10 am

According to Samsung sleep coaching I am a Nervous Penguin sleeper :amused: I got a little congratulatory dance from a cute cartoon penguin when I logged in :cute:


The Day

Today was hard. I literally had zero time to myself from the moment I got up and up until now. Even my break in the sun this morning was in work mode since I was going through the Built to Last manuscript. I was working, or cooking, or cleaning all day today. Even with my excellent sleep there was only so much I could take physically and mentally, and I almost broke down in tears from sheer exhaustion at the end of the day.

DEEP BREATH. I am actually looking forward to my walk tonight because it will be my first real mental break today. On the bright side, even though it was so mentally taxing, now that I think about it, I didn't have any intrusive thoughts - and I was not triggered as I normally would have been in the past. So there is that.

I now need to see what and where exactly I went wrong and how do I prevent this kind of day from happening again. The purpose of this journal is to make sure I learn from my experiences, good and bad, so I can then improve my life. I am a control freak, yes, but also most of the things I do no one else can help me with. What do you do in this situation? I have to think about it.

What went well today: I tried a new recipe for plant-based fish. It was surprisingly easy to make and it was delicious. I am making it again tomorrow!

How I felt today: overworked, disoriented

I actually feel better after writing this down. It was not a perfect day but things got done. Unfortunately, it came at my well-being's expense and that's exactly what I am here to fix. Work / Life balance... what's that? :crawl: Is anyone else struggling with overwhelm on a regular basis? How do you deal with it? I used food and trash TV only last year to cope. That's why I am here now, because it became more damaging than the stress itself. I am very proud of my progress this year but I still have a long way to go to turn my life around. I patch up one area of my life, something else crashes and burns :pmode: Tomorrow is another day....



Have a wonderful rest of Saturday, everyone! Long Live The Hive! :unicorn: And thank you for stopping by :morelove:
 
Maegaranthelas

Maegaranthelas

Well-known member
Bard from The Netherlands
Pronouns: They/them
Posts: 1,082
"I sing and I know things"
I am here to keep the birthday celebration going just a little longer :amused:
:lovelots:Belated Happy Birthday :flowerkitty:

My ways to decompress are music, a walk, hugs, or crafting while watching something wholesome. Often other people crafting on youtube =)
But yes, modern life can be incredibly overwhelming! Be compassionate with yourself as you would be with others :pet:
 
wjs

wjs

Well-known member
Guardian from St. Cloud, MN
Posts: 160
neilarey said:
“Καλό μήνα”
Click to expand...

Kalo mehna? My Greek is a little rusty and also from being a science major, but is that pretty close, at least? I promise no Google Translate for the pronunciation.

neilarey said:
I am a control freak, yes, but also most of the things I do no one else can help me with. What do you do in this situation?
Click to expand...

I do what are probably all the wrong things. Internalize, make sure everyone else is doing well, break down out of sight, use all of my alone time to build the social battery back up. I decompress with tv series, games*, painting miniatures, and music, in some order. I'm still working on work/life balance, as well.

















*Video or board, doesn't matter to me.
 
Lady Celerity

Lady Celerity

Well-known member
from The Woods. NorCal
Posts: 950
"..one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on.."
neilarey said:
I actually feel better after writing this down. It was not a perfect day but things got done. Unfortunately, it came at my well-being's expense and that's exactly what I am here to fix. Work / Life balance... what's that? :crawl: Is anyone else struggling with overwhelm on a regular basis? How do you deal with it?
Click to expand...

You're singing my song @neilarey ! I feel overwhelmed almost all the time as a single parent, caring for an elderly parent and working full time. It gets to you. I've done my share of mindlessly munching in front of the TV, which may be distracting, but doesn't help. What does help is doing something, anything, that brings me joy each day. Lighting candles at breakfast. Playing with my cat for 5 minutes. Watching the squirrels fight over the peanuts I put outside. Going for a walk in nature (this has got to be #1 for me). Listening to a favorite song. Giving myself a pedicure (or getting one). Etc. You get the idea. When I was self-employed and worked at home, I put an 'Open' and 'Closed' sign on my office door. No office? Put it on your desk or workspace. You've gotta make and maintain boundaries or life becomes one long slog. Hope that helps. :hug:
 
NightWolf714

NightWolf714

Well-known member
Berserker from Nashville, TN, USA
Pronouns: They/she
Posts: 263
"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. ~Carl Rogers"
1.) Cute puppy!

2.) I think your weight loss is pretty okay. You're tracking nutrients so while loosing weight quickly can be risky, it's less so because it's a controlled. But also the recommended safe amount as well as best for long-term goals is 1-2 pounds which is -pauses to google a conversion) about 0.5-1 kilogram a week. Just be sure that you're keeping an eye on hydration since a lot of people loose weight by dehydrating. ;n;

That said, you have clearly done a lot of research on this so you probably already know this. But wanted to give reassurance that it looks like you're doing great! (At least in my humble opinion.) :approve:

3.) It doesn't help that emotions aren't always logical. Sometimes you have no idea why they are occurring as they do. But it sounds like a TON of improvement from previous mental breakdowns and that's a HUGE success in my book! :fireworks:

4.) If you figure out the work/life balance, do let the rest of the class know, ahaha!
 
NancyTree

NancyTree

Well-known member
Valkyrie from The Netherlands
Posts: 2,670
What really helps me is put nice, relaxing music on, lay down on the couch and close my eyes.
The album 'Aventine' by Agnes Obel is one of my favorites to wind down. Or 'El bueno y el mano' by Hermanos Gutierrez.

But the best of all, is when Pico decides to lay down on my chest and I'm forced to stay put. This warm, purring, furry ball :revolving:
 
neilarey

neilarey

Administrator
DAREBEE Team
Shieldmaiden from Greece
Pronouns: she / her
Posts: 1,016
"I just work here."
Exercise

6AM
:v: Gratitude Practice
:v: 10 minutes meditation

Morning
:v: Heart Hustle Workout / upcoming release
:v: Exercise of the Day
:v: 30 minutes stepper

Evening
:v: 90 minutes walking on the treadmill
:v: 20 minutes sauna

Food

Breakfast: spirulina protein shake + tofu oat pancakes with defrosted blueberries 58 g protein
Lunch: cauliflower pizza with onions and roasted mushrooms + N/A beer 22 g protein
Movie Snack: 50 g (2 oz) air-popped popcorn 7 g protein
Dinner: tofu banana split with peanuts and chocolate chips 38 g protein

Total Protein Today: 128 g (almost perfect)

february2.jpg

Sleep

Sleep Score: 80 (good)
✓ no liquids after 6 pm ✓ carbs for dinner ✓ earplugs ✓ mask ✓ walking 90 minutes before bed ✓ in bed by 10 pm

Awake: 5:50 am, Up: 6 am

My tracker registered that I fell asleep at 11 pm... which I doubt. I was in bed at 9:30, I listened to an audiobook for 30 minutes and then it was lights out. Except for the sleep duration (~ 6 hrs in total) all of my other stats were above 90%. I woke up refreshed and I felt amazing, soooo it's possible that my score is much higher today but my tracker missed an hour in there somewhere :LOL: Regardless, I feel like I am progressing with this. I am getting higher and higher scores now. I am happy with this :worried:


The Day

Today was amazing! What a roller-coaster my life is :imp: Compared to yesterday (and every day last week) today absolutely rocked. I was super productive, I've done all of the things on my list and then some. I aced everything I touched today and I had fun doing it. LOVED. IT. I woke up feeling great and I kept it up ALL DAY. Incredible. I wish every day was like that. I must analyze today in detail and see how I can do repeat performance :tuzki-hero:

Thank you everyone so much for offering suggestions to my yesterday's woes. I really appreciate it! :tuzki-love: I've been pondering it today all day and I believe I came up with a few solutions. Basically, it'll come down to streamlining my life and simplifying some of the tasks I am in charge of. This includes work and life. I will need to create some boundaries for both so I don't get overwhelmed like this again (or at least not often).

Even though I worked all day today again it didn't feel like work. A lot of it was creative stuff (ok, there was some grinding, too) so it didn't feel so hard. Instead of having dinner and going back to work right away I had it while watching another episode of Severance (and I had some popcorn, too!). It was out of my regular schedule so I had a nice dopamine spike and it reset me nicely after that. I had fresh energy and fresh ideas where normally I'd feel tired and drained. Like I said, today rocked. I just need to figure out WHY and HOW do I have more days like this.

What went well today: everything, literally everything.
How I felt today: excited to be alive, full of energy and optimism

Now I only have my walk left tonight. I am doing it earlier today because I am also going to do 20 minutes of sauna before bed :chicken: I am looking forward to it. Yay!

:twirl::twirl::twirl:


Have a wonderful rest of Sunday, everyone! I hope you all had a good weekend!
Long Live The Hive! :unicorn: And thank you for stopping by :morelove:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top